December 13, 2009
My patient Mr. Richard U died while I was on my shift as a Nocturnist in charge of ICU, my moonlighting job. I was there shortly after to give my condolences to the wife. It was right around 7 a.m.
(I sketched a picture of a man in uniform standing across from the body of the deceased)
I saw him. He saw me. We didn’t say anything. He was surprised to be out. Relieved and glad, but the significance of what happened was not lost on him at the time. Now he came back to me, with a thick New York accent:
R: You up?
R: I’m sorry that I woke you. I saw that you were really really sleepy. Thank you for calling my wife. I love her. I wanted her to be there. (C: I can’t hear you)
R: It’s okay. I fade in and out. You are my thoughts:
1) you work too hard
2) go and have some pleasure
3) walk to your miracle
4) “I will make it up to you” The Father in Heaven says this
Try to get some rest. Thank you for talking to my family (Looks me deep in the eye). I wanted to die, I was done with me. I got really sick—how could I have recovered my strength? Get some rest. I will come back. Not to drive. ( C: he wanted me to rest before I got behind the wheel of a car)