Mount Ararat, 5,137 m, highest peak of Turkey, view from Armenia
Our countdown is 137.
I didn't know there was a real Mount Ararat besides the bible. I once saw a movie about UFOs and things--'Chariots of the Gods?' -- with mom and dad when I was little. But I didn't really understand if it was a movie movie or a documentary or what.
So here it is.
Supposedly the ark landed on it.
My unicorn card I drew yesterday was my Sanctuary card. Go to a special place and rest.
It's ironic how the more I want to go home and rest, the more work I have to do at the hospital.
Fortunately at the main O.R. on backup call things went well. I enjoyed the people. I enjoyed the challenges of the patients. I had an old biker chick, someone who has a spread of cancer (I'll do anything for a cancer patient, I love them so!), and lots of female things to fix.
I did a block and I was happy.
And even though it was late when I came home, I found a surprise in the mailbox for me from Sweden. Ross had been whispering in the ear of someone.
There was a special animal charm on the end of it. What the artist didn't know is that Ross has a signature to his work he does through others for me, and I saw it.
In the animal charm was a confirmation of a special video I had seen of something amazing and incredible. The shape of the incredible thing was the same as the shape of the design on the animal. The amazing thing therefore must be true!
I got a block. It was a TAP block and I was happy it went well and helped the patient. My confidence goes up with every successful block I get. I used to think I was old and washed up. I didn't want to just randomly practice this new skill (I can do them without ultrasound, but a twitch monitor)...and thankfully the conference I paid extra for the session worked!
Now I place New York blocks!
I have to work today. Sadly. I had hoped for a day off.
But perhaps work is my sanctuary too?
I like this picture.
This to me explains the dirty dishes in the sink, the bills unpaid, the laundry unfolded, and all the things that go with a busy medical life.
It just is.
And it's how I support our family...
I hope to visit mom in the hospital today. I can't take long because I have to pick up Anthony from school. There is a concert for the band and choir tonight.
I miss mom. I hear she is doing better and going to go to skilled nursing facility next...
I wasn't expecting good things yesterday. They surprised me. Even with Anthony leaving the little extra tray of food from the coffee shop where we had breakfast in the car. It had cold cuts and cheese and dried cherries.
I went to the car and ate it for dinner after he told me he forgot it.
I'm happy when things go well.
There's been lots of--'electronic interference'-- to put it mildly. The 'other team' (TWDNHOBIAH) are going down, and are really not going without a fight. So they are doing everything they can to mess things up. The sensitive ones can feel it.
Yesterday I felt some pure good vibes, not the kind I've trained myself to maintain to 'keep my vibration up'--but some angelic 'shout out' to me.
I brought a patient in the room, and my favorite (I know it's lame, and uncharacteristic, but I like Gold Digger) was on the radio.
The nurse changed it to Gypsy Kings. It was another of my favorite songs.
Then another--The theme from The Godfather. My daddy loved that song, it was like his and mom's song...I played it on the piano for them.
After that? IZ. Wonderful world.
I LOVE LOVE LOVE Divine Synchronicity. It makes me feel loved.
In meditation this morning, I told Ross, I'm lonely. I miss you. I like it when you are around.
He didn't say anything. I didn't meditate for long. But when the timer rang and I had to go, he gave me a kiss, the kind your partner gives you when you leave for work, and I smiled. It made me very happy.
Talk with your angels.
Let them know what's going on with you, inside.
They already know, to be honest. But for you to talk with them lets their boss know they are doing a good job because that's what they are here to do--for you to work in partnership with them. And in partnership, you know your own deal and where you stand, and you tell the other, and you work together.
Ross doesn't get to confide in me much, but I know him so well I can read his face and ask him, which, then when I ask he tells. I also am constantly asking him, 'are you okay? are you in good health? You have enough to eat? You're not working too hard--you have time for rest?' He always knows what to say to set my heart at ease. And when he has rest time I can see him and it gives me peace.
Do something nice for you.
At work some nurses told me that their boyfriends know me as 'the unicorn card lady' and ask about me.
You never know how far your reach goes.
I also gave a bracelet off my arm. It was for Sally, another single mom. I was there when her daughter was born. I had been told to make a Peace Jade bracelet for her, seven inches, but not to give it. Something nudged me to give it to her when we were at the sink--mine--not the one at home. So I did. I asked her if she likes it, and she did, so I gave it to her, warm right off my arm, filled with my energy since the last one I gave away a couple weeks ago. It meant so much to her...
Our reach is fathers than we realize, and our impact through small things done with great love is unstoppable.
Today we are making a photo essay on a very important topic.
Remember to ground yourself in this truth when there is the need.
We chose this image for the plumerias (or 'frangipani') blooms which are fragrant and carry the connection to Hawaii we love.
You ARE loved!
And you are highly highly blessed to be able to read this article today.
Let us begin.
There are parts of being human which are natural--wanting adventure, wanting to explore, wanting to be the best.
Even wanting to win bragging rights as the best and the strongest is completely understandable.
Humans are creative, and as many different ways as there are humans, there are always newer and more exciting ways to experience the thrill of being alive and to earn the bragging rights of being 'the best'.
Natural selection being what it is, is pays for young adults to be noticed. Actually at first it looked to me like this woman has a tree growing out of her chest at a bizarre angle...but if you look closer she is posing with a 'come hither' look and her pants are unbuttoned.
Is this her idea? Is it her idea to pose this way or the photographer's?
WHY is she posing like this? To become a model? To earn money and fame and the 'bragging rights' and the 'experience' of being a supermodel?
We don't know.
Again this is very human and understandable.
Where is his nose?
Losing the nose makes the face unrecognizable, doesn't it?
Whoever broke it also removed the head from the body.
It looks like the old person was represented by the carved head and had 'bragging rights' lost the rights, and the new person or groups of persons wanted to make a statement, doesn't it? They didn't ruin the entire face. They wanted this face to be somewhat recognizable still, and yet, maimed so people would know he is not in power.
If you look closely there is a sort of cross in the center of the headpiece too.
Here is the body. I don't know if it's from the exact same head as before, but someone took the head, the penis, the entire right hand, and the fingers from the left.
The urge to destroy is part of humanity, the urge to make one person 'below' so that the other, the 'victor' I suppose, be considered to be 'higher up' in comparison.
There is a fascination with this too. This basic concept of self and other, the drama being played out, and who will be the 'victor'--is very compelling to watch.
Even to this day, with professional sports, people will form groups of 'fans', and through a team they will cheer for their side in support, and against the other team.
This is a natural extension of the concept of self and other, and who has 'bragging rights' which is the nicest way to say it...which has been part of the world since ancient times.
Even to the point of watching Christians being thrown to the lions.
Here is another example of the application of 'us and them', isn't it?
We want to be 'in favor' and viewed as 'correct' in the eyes of Creator--so we are organized and given prayers and traditions which are part of the family and culture in which we are raised.
This can be taken another step further through technology and mass communication--the talking film, the television show, to YouTube, Netflix, Amazon Prime, and other video streaming services, music, concerts...
...and all of the other 'amusements'.
On a small scale, this ability to engage the part of the human experience that finds itself unique and separate can be overridden and rewritten by the science of torture such as in MK Ultra, Monarch, and other forms of 'organized control of the individual and the masses'.
This separate self which wants the 'bragging rights' and the ability to 'control others' is another word for the Ego.
It doesn't exist in Heaven, or in the angels, or in the animal and plant and mineral kingdoms.
It's only here in a typical third dimensional/physical experience realm where it happens.
And we go so far as to propose and to suggest that there are entire religions and secret societies which worship the Ego--and their goal as an organized institution is to win the complete and total control of everything and everyone else for their own benefit--much much worse than mere 'bragging rights'.
And here are some of their symbols:
Part of the 138 black memorial flags with a white star in the center to mourn the victims of the 1961 Bay of Pigs invasion, a 1976 bombing of a Cuban airliner, a string of Havana hotel blasts in the late 1990s, and other events they blame on the United States
The controlling of world politics by any means available, including betrayal and blackmail, is part of the REAL world history Kerth Barker was able to read in books in the secret libraries he once visited when he was raised up in the dark secret society who worships Lucifer.
What we are told in our history books doesn't include everything that happened behind the scenes leading up to the historical events. And further, our history books are written by the victors, who wish to make sure we believe only as we are told to believe...and nothing else.
None of this is real once you are off the planet and/or outside your body.
None of this exists in the Heavens, or in practically everywhere else in the Universe and multi-verse.
Even Kerth in his near-death experiences with his growing up could see it wasn't real, and he could see both angelic and demonic entities and their influence on others in the frightening rituals he witnessed.
The 'Awakening' is another way of saying that people on earth are going to raise their vibration enough to appreciate this fact.
Do people who worship the Ego--which is basically all that it is--demons are disembodied oversized egos if you will--have influence on things which affect everyone else at the moment?
Well, yes. They have infiltrated pretty much everything, and hold positions of power, which if you stop and think about it, is just about the only thing ego likes to do.
Everyone has an ego.
Most people have just enough which is normal for the every day human experience.
And some egos have gotten out of hand, and also, come back to assert themselves on the masses of people any way they can.
It's a little scary to look at these symbols.
It's a little scary when you can recognize them hidden in plain sight.
It's even more scary when you realize there are people who think like this who are organized together and pushing some agenda which the majority of the people have no clue and are asleep in the web of lies like a baby in a cradle.
This is why we invite you to step back for a moment, and to see it for what it is--it's just ego.
And to remember you are loved, and to visit that place of unconditional love in quiet reflection every day--away from amplified music/sound/television/screens which may carry with it unnatural influence from the people who worship the ego.
That space of love is the real thing.
It's the only thing that exists.
And it's due to arrive in a big way in a short time...that's why we are counting...
I'm going to discuss three parts today, and our opinion to share with you on each one.
First part: Sunday Call
It was brutal. And it took a lot out of me. To cut to the chase, Jared wanted Anthony. Jared lives the opposite direction from my work and far from the freeway. So picking up Anthony pre-call adds an extra hour to my day at the front end. I'm fifteen minutes late, but we have ample time to enjoy Vietnamese breakfast together which is our custom on such days.
The first case is elective, and takes many hours. Anthony patiently waits in the doctor's lounge. At my first break (case delays the following lineup two hours)--I run and take Anthony to his destination nearby. I come to the next case without lunch, and without bathroom break. The first patient needed intervention in the recovery room, which I provided, and the ICU attending was there. I am told by the surgeon to 'not give so much pain medicine next time so patient will wake up'. It was a very big, long complex open surgery, and patient has obstructive breathing undiagnosed as baseline. But, it's my fault.
Second surgeon rants and raves about why backup team is not called in. Well, number one, first case was elective, second one is urgent but not emergent because patient was here the day before. Surgeon wanted to spend night 'backyard camping' with young son instead of operating.
My backup told me yesterday they have their daughter's birthday party in the afternoon and are not available. The time is two p.m. I am a wall to the second surgeon's request for backup to be called in.
Third surgeon sees what is coming, as second surgeon is slow and is fixing two totally separate bones requiring two separate set ups and even two separate operating room tables where we have to switch the patient from one to the other intra-op. Third surgeon delays until following day.
Fourth surgeon is bumped from six p.m. start to seven, but at seven, a hemorrhage bumps surgeon four for about one hour. A life is saved. This truly is an emergency and why we are on call in the first place.
Fourth case goes at eight p.m. My dinner is the second half of the egg banh mi baguette sandwich that I ate for lunch when PACU refused to get the next patient and the hall support had to go up and get them for 'direct admit to OR'. Anthony must Uber eat to eat. We are pleased with this solution. What he doesn't know is I called the restaurant to remind them to give extra chipotle sauce with the sweet potato fries. He actually saves half the bag for me, and he only used one container of the sauce.
Fifth case is very complex and due to start at ten p.m. I am exhausted. First surgeon has a full pancreatic resection he is calling an 'exploratory laparotomy'. And ex-lap takes two hours. A pancreatic resection for cancer is no emergency--it's a chronic condition and it's elective--and takes six hours in the best of hands. I've already spoken to my boss and the chief of surgery. He is not to call an 'emergency' and bump other surgeons' lineups in the morning. He is to take the nine-thirty a.m. time slot. He refuses because his surgeon who is also surgeon for case five, isn't available to assist him and he has clinic at his office and patients to see.
He wants a six a.m. start, surgeon one. But this involves calling in the call teams whose shift ends at seven a.m. --from home and before they work a full day (except myself who has worked twenty four instead of twelve and have day off). I said, 'why not four a.m. when you are at it?' He books it for four but nobody hears about it from the charge nurse. It's not on the schedule.
Surgeon Five wants to delay his case to five a.m. to 'follow surgeon one'. My head is spinning. It's in the documents and chart that the 'exploratory laparotomy' of surgeon one isn't that, it's a full pancreases surgery and he's called in his teams from home to start early but we don't know. (he has his own team). So when surgeon Five knows I need a rest, and says to start at five, I figure it's for the case he shares with Surgeon one.
Well, Surgeon Five thinks that Surgeon one is taking the nine-thirty a.m. slot the chief of anesthesia and the chief of surgery mandate for Surgeon one.
Surgeon one shows up at four a.m. to an empty O.R.
I am not far, I come in, but I am embarrassed because Anthony hears him yelling at me on the phone. He hangs up when my alarm goes off on the phone.
I am ready for a big case in twenty minutes, ample time for the patient to come down.
But Surgeon One is in my face, sergeant to infantry recruit style, yelling and spitting about how he is not going to wake up at three in the morning to come in for an empty O.R. with no patient.
I am gentle.
I don't react.
I do apologize that when Surgeon Five said five a.m. I was led to believe it was for his case assisting with you, that he was speaking with you, as it was the first work he was to do in the lineup--help you first and then follow with his. That was my mistake, and I'm sorry.
Patient is on the table by five ten a.m. (originally he wanted six).
As it turns out, Surgeon one doesn't finish until one p.m. There is confusion and delay for the other patients and surgeons who have been assigned to that room. Relief comes for me at seven ten a.m., and I get to go have the breakfast with Anthony we both prayed for, a nice one together that was quiet to start our day. I'm exhausted, but don't rest. Anthony needs to go to school and I drive him. Traffic is very backed up. He arrives thirty minutes late.
The teacher shoots me an email about tardies and absences, school will notice when he has his record go to the high school, she says. I apologize profusely, and let her know that it's my fault, not his, he is my knight in shining armor and he never complains. I explained how the ink on his printout on his homework will look nicer because it was from the business center where we stay. Next time I will Uber him to school so he is on time. I explain I am mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally drained from the cruelty I experience from his father and from my work.
I was suicidal ideation/feelings yesterday.
The pain of killing myself would be less than the pain of being forced to work twenty-four hours when I was sick, when my mom was in the hospital, with no breaks for food or water or toilet. I actually got very constipated.
This feeling is something I would not act upon. But the Creator Writings has been tracking me. The horrible call where I didn't know why I have to suffer on the 27th. And The Council Too on my Feelings as a data point. When I get feelings to destroy myself to end my suffering, I take note and say, 'this isn't normal or sustainable'. I know in my heart I need to get to a lifestyle where I can have a dog. The hours for that. Anthony's life will depend on it in High School. He's very close to dogs. Big dogs. And I need to slow down with my work. A LOT.
What I didn't realize is that others were watching.
I sensed a 'direct hit' when I turned the other cheek to Surgeon One and offered no conflict. I felt it.
And the Chief of Surgery told me later that eight different people approached her about these elective cases taking all day and night for the call teams. And even five members of my anesthesia group met in the doctors lounge to talk about it.
My suffering was the straw that broke the camel's back and is starting movement towards change!
And I better? A little. Anthony is worse--sore throat. And mom is better but still in the hospital.
Last night, I went to our Association meeting. Oh my gosh there were fireworks and it was like Jerry Springer show. The board members are in disagreement. The board doesn't want to hear the one who says what can be done better. There was almost a cancellation of the meeting due to the disruption.
I thought to myself how things change quickly when I'm not present (it's been a year). And when the follow up item was to announce the landscape committee and thank them for their efforts, the crowd was still stunned.
I'm an old Toastmaster. I know what to do with crowds. And I said, loudly, 'THANK YOU ARCHITECTURE COMMITTEE VOLUNTEERS FOR YOUR SERVICE!'. I clapped loud and hard and long until everyone joined in. And the meeting went on without any negativity.
Love and Gratitude. A smile. These are your weapons. These are your shields.
How did this story make you feel? It's strong, isn't it? It's in the first person. It's recent events. It's from my heart. I'd like you to take a note of that.
Second Part: Someone Is Coming To Save Us
How did this make you feel, aside from the emotional trigger the topic has become to be for many? How did it make you feel to listen to his predictions/interpretations of current events?
How does it compare to my story?
He is compelling, isn't he? Daniel is likable and almost has an apostles energy to him. He's fresh. He's different. And when he puts up his list of what he does, and you know he's already quit his job and 'walking the walk', it's nice, isn't it?
But Daniel isn't talking about his own experiences with those around him.
He's focused on something going on outside, and also, something none of us can control.
I'd like you to take note of that.
Third Part: In Cahoots?
How can the Simpsons know so much? How can the movies?
If you know how the smoke and mirrors work, you would know that today's end times are scripted from two hundred years ago, and generations after generations of secret society people have each carried out their part.
I can't even find the next video, I've looked for twenty minutes and it's really hard to find. I'll describe it to you. It's an old European music video. And Melania is in it as a young woman. Her role? The president's wife! She wears elegant clothes and drives in a motorcade like Jackie Kennedy. I've seen it, and I tell you, it's creepy.
How do these videos make you feel?
If you are on the Daniel track, don't lose heart, it's okay. Stay tuned for the next summary. It will cheer you.
How do these video creators make you feel? They are in fact sharing direct experiences of media 'abnormal coincidences' with you. And it resonates, does it not?
What if Ascension is so close it could be in your lap or your back pocket or your purse?
What if Ascension and the next step is being able to master your Galactic skills and remember your gifts RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE, RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW, starting TODAY?
What if, all this mumbo jumbo in the media is to distract you from your ability to manifest a better life for yourself, one that is in complete and total alignment with Spirit?
What if, TWDNHOBIAH, KNOW that we are like Dorothy with the red slippers, the ability to go 'Home' at any time--and just don't want us to figure it out?
In summary, Ross and I want you to focus a little more on what is going on around you, and a little less on 'the popcorn'--looking for signs of progress in a bigger level.
As the energy shifts within each of us, it is going to have an effect on those around us, just like in the Operating Room with Carla and Surgeon One, and everyone else.
Nothing can stop it.
And it's contagious.
And those who are in charge--are outnumbered by people who aren't.
When the energy shifts it will be unstoppable.
So do a little more 'inside work', don't ignore the 'popcorn situation outside' but don't let the 'popcorn situation' get in the way of your moving ahead with your own waking up and remembering why you are here and what is normal for you when you are 'Back Home'.
We have been conditioned to put weight on what our five senses tell us, and what is logical like we are taught in school.
Our extra senses, our intuition, basically, and what is unseen actually deserves to be factored in a little more than we give it credit.
This one was an equal part from Ross and me. He's with me. And he's sustaining me as I go through. And helping me to recover. Last night we had Rubio's fish tacos, and I treated to a tiny lemon/coconut square we shared Anthony and me.
I have been recovering from Anthony's cold I picked up from him. He took two days off from school, and I had to work. So in the brief time I had where he was with his father--Friday night and Saturday--I literally curled up in bed.
If you are counting on me for something, please be patient. When I am over this bug, I will resume my normal activities.
The one concept that's been coming up more and more clearly is the Dance of Life. Think of it differently from Timelines. Timelines I can see connected to a person, place or thing--like a web of energy. I can see them and sense them when I heal them. What this is instead is a gradual understanding and acceptance that nothing is ever really the same on any given day--in the big picture--although in the small picture it may appear this way.
Imagine the window of opportunity the farmer looks to for the tree when the fruit is ripe.
Imagine the way an automobile depreciates, even though it is the same exact vehicle--and how again there is a window of opportunity to resell it and gain the most value out of it.
Everything is on its own trajectory, and dancing together through life like dancers around the Maypole. People are born, people die, businesses rise and fall, people get sick, people get better...
Looking at life this way brings me more enjoyment for how fleeting each moment is, and what a gift it is to be aware of it.
I don't have much else to say.
I will share that the current events in the news are upsetting. It's like emotionally being tossed around in the rinse cycle of a washing machine. I can't make sense of it. I asked Ross, 'is the evil being removed from earth?' and he assured me, 'yes, the evil is being taken away from Earth'.
Scenario one: Q is right and there's a cleansing going on behind the scenes
Scenario two: Q is part of the deep state's plan to trick us and fool us -- in other words the deep state and Q are in cahoots and there's an enormous betrayal ahead.
It's not pretty.
What I can tell you is Gaia isn't a wimp. The matrix that the deep state/Lucy-fair-reeans have created is being pulled out from under them like a rug. Gaia is 'doing things' to help make things better. They aren't going to have anything to stand on in a short time.
It would be wonderful by all means to see a linear progression towards freedom. However, with all the psychological operatives and trickery, I have no idea or clue. I do know someone who has intel was saying that the Deep State was going to pull a 'death switch'--some kind of assault on the people with mass casualty--and perhaps this explains the recent change. With their history being what it is, and also, the way people are taking changes like in NY without any opposition (gender X and the infanticide ruling)--the Deep State/Lucy-Fair-Reean agenda appears to be unscathed.
This is why our suggestion is to pray. It's the unseen that is really raging the battle. Keep your energy up, keep your thoughts pure, be loving and kind every opportunity you get, and pray, pray, pray for freedom, for liberation, for evil to be removed from Gaia forever. In all of its forms.
Gaia thanks you for this.
Together we are unstoppable.
Carla's mother was taken to the hospital yesterday. She had just bought some clothes for her, and wanted to go visit her on Saturday but thought against it because she didn't want to give her mother her cold she had caught from Anthony. Late at night there was a text from Carla's sister that she had taken their mother in for infection. We ask for all prayers and healing to be sent on her behalf.
Your sparkle cannot be lost. However, with a little 'mud' of dense energies and low vibration, it can dim.
Today with our countdown at 143--I Love You in code, one letter, four letters, three letters--let us explore the realm of our connection to the Higher Realms, what brings us joy, and the steady shift to opening new perceptions as it pertains to us.
I meditated yesterday morning. This morning Ross says to write and he will be with me. Yesterday I also meditated in the car.
I told him, 'I love you, and I need you.'
He asked me questions. I can never remember a single one of his questions when I'm in meditation like that.
What I can remember is the feeling I had as a soul when I was incarnate, and he died, and also, it seemed like all darkness surrounded me and there was no escape! I told him this with head-banging, hiding my eyes in his chest, and all the physical movements of one who has been extremely tortured and traumatized.
He said, 'I want to come back to you--perhaps you can see it as my leaving was a way of coming back to you again?' He assured me it was only temporary. I had already thanked him for showing us the way and for helping us--with my heart filled with love and respect for him. It was just my wounds that never heal that made me talk about the sad things with him.
Later on in the day, I confided to a close friend and star family soul, how could we be any closer to the awakening without it happening yet? Is it fair enough to ask if others are waking up too?
So this is one form of getting the sparkle back. It's an early one. It's the constant back-and-forth across the veil between you and Spirit. It feels wonderful to be guided, to be close to Home in your heart.
Unfortunately, your Spirit Guides aren't always able to be with you where you consciously are aware of it. They actually ARE with you 24/7. But sometimes we need to do lessons where they can't guide, or we need to grow in our own mastery.
It gets very lonely when we are in one of these phases. Myself, I can't wait for it to end.
What is Mastery?
I can give an example at my work. I've been at the surgery center a lot lately. It's just the right setting for me to shine like a jewel. I work efficiently yet I have the extra time to reassure patients and talk to them before and after surgery. I am strong in my purpose to 'connect' before we ever go back to the operating room. I listen for the needs. My patients are happier, and more trusting, and as a result, do well.
The surgeons are more friendly too.
I've been working with the staff, too. I brought in a super good dip from Walmart--artichoke jalapeño --with chips, and everyone loved it. I also brought in some pasta for our vegan charge nurse, Nana Angelina's old recipe. She was glad to try it.
When you are in the right place and you feel supported you can really allow your gifts to be shared. This is Mastery.
The changing of the thinking is slow, and challenging, but not insurmountable. My guides had taught me to see I had 'sold out' into my current home because it's affordable. Short term. But the neighbors are horrid (one neighbor on the other side just moved from her 'forever home' because they are so bad--stealing parking spots and not following any association rules), the homeowner's association will go up, and it's an old house which needs repairs.
What I could see is I need Nature. Lots, even more than here which is quite good.
My guides helped me to take my vision of my little Spanish Colonial, and to think of a place that's well-established and well-respected like Pasadena by the coast. Not a little trendy place that may or may not be respected. Spirit showed me how I've lived in places like Berkeley and La Jolla that have a 'wow' factor. That 'wow' is important to my development. Spirit says it's better to live in a cheap home in a nice neighborhood than the biggest one in a not so nice neighborhood.
This has created a subtle shift from me telling myself 'I deserve it' but not really believing it, to allowing my co-creation to align more fully with the concept.
I also co-created something where I got to leave early. I wanted to go home early, and asked for a trade but the person had something to do. Anthony was home, sick. I needed to get to him. (I'm sick too, apparently now it's sinus with upper respiratory infection). As it turned out, my patient went past their room as they were going to the recovery room, just a minute before, and that set the fate where he recovers and I go to the main O.R. He was committed for one hour at that point. Then at the main O.R. three people went home at once and I was one of them!
That's the kind of mastery I adore! Not sure if it's technically 'mastery' or 'luck' but it made my life easier.
On the way home there was a terrible accident. I usually go a different way. But this one had the freeway completely blocked off. With a fire truck. It was near my exit.
I realized if I had gone home sooner, I might have been involved.
Spirit was showing me I am always being protected in ways that it counts. Even when I might not understand...
Ross says this is good. He will talk when he has an opportunity. This expresses the message 'you can do it!' he wanted to give. You WILL get the sparkle back. The fastest way is the combination to do what you enjoy and to work with your spirit guides.
Aloha and Mahalos,
Ross and Carla
P.S. the Gaia meditation has progressed. Her teams can pull energy cords on Her like she can with her life forms. And now, She is close to her teams, and further, all her life forms are very close to her surface energetically. This is where she can interact best. And she, appears like a mother hen -- who is 'preening' the energies of each life form, which looks like a little feather that is connected to her. She is actively working with the energies now to align them and boost them and cleanse them. I saw this with my spirit eyes.
I had once heard there were 144,000 pairs of Illuminated Twin Flames here. I don't know any more what's the truth on that number.
I'm going to share simply about three people who I interacted with recently, and how they teared up and really opened their hearts further just in my presence with me doing nothing special other than being grounded in love and truth and sharing it.
The first was the administrator of Anthony's school. I asked her how her husband is? He's fighting cancer. He used to work at the school but he's been very sick.
Her father just passed on Christmas day. She had been taking care of both her parents and her husband. Recently they had sold everything and moved into senior living facility for her husband's age/health needs. I was like, 'oh my gosh! that's so hard! On Christmas Day???'
Her father had pancreatic cancer, and never once complained or took a pain pill. At the end he had to go back and forth to the bathroom a lot, with her husband helping him transfer from the wheelchair to the toilet and back. He asked once for some medicine for his breathing (morphine) and that was it. Her sister is a hospice nurse and was helping too.
I promised her angelic bracelets. They help with grief as they bring the energy of Heaven more into alignment with you here on earth. You can hear your deceased loved ones better, and they can hear you across the veil better. Also, if you are like Jim, who is getting the news today if his cancer treatments are working or not (initial talk from the oncologist two weeks ago was that the 'treatment didn't take' but this is the results from the confirmatory PET scan they get today. Jim has been saying over and over, 'I don't want to die, I don't want to die!'). The angelite will help Jim to move through this time with grace and gentle energy to assist him, whatever will be his fate. My friend herself said her father was very peaceful when he died, he was right near a statue of the Virgin Mary and also by a picture of Jesus on the wall as he passed in his wheelchair. It gives her comfort to know he is with them in Heaven.
Last night I made them. If there was only one bracelet I would make that would be it. I give many away for free. The angelite is not a cheap gemstone. I pay out of my pocket or with the donations. Whenever there is need, Ross and I give one. We made one for Jim, one for his wife, Therese, one for the widow (Therese's mom) and also one for a friend in Hawaii who suddenly lost another friend around the holidays. We are happy to help.
The second person was My Le. I've written about her story coming from Vietnam. I saw her and asked how her two daughters were? One was married not long ago, perhaps a year or two. I asked if there are any grandkids on the way? There is! Her first granddaughter is due in August.
I was delighted and praised her saying she will be the best grandmother! And that she will be able to enjoy dressing the granddaughter and combing her hair all beautiful...
My Le almost cried on the spot. I saw her tears well up in her eyes. We both know she has a temper, that her ex-husband and her divorced because he was spending too much money, and that her relationship with her daughters isn't as close as it could be.
I looked past that.
I looked to the truth.
My Le is an excellent doctor and friend. She is kind and loving. And she truly IS going to make an excellent grandma.
Kindness like this is important. It helps people to get on with their lives, to regain hope, and to do their best.
Here is another example...with my plastic surgeon. This is one who doesn't trust people, and only allows certain ones to work with him. I've overheard him tell another that I would never be able to be truly professional (as in high-end, expensive, boutique anesthesia care for plastic surgery). I was shocked at the time because I ate lunch with him almost every day and we were both vegetarians! His wife has health problems (I think Alzheimer's based on the interaction with her at the fundraiser) and I've given her a bracelet/earring set.
Our patient had a large skin lesion that was oozing blood. I'd never seen anything like it. But my surgeon has. I confided to him that I think it's a really nice thing what he does for his patients. He was caught off guard. I pointed out the lesion with the oozing and said, 'can you imagine what a mess that is making at home?' and he understood. He said they can grow back and he will have to go deep. I was surprised these things recur. I also confided to him how it's very nice how if people aren't happy with how they look, they can go to him and he can help them. It's really a nice thing.
His heart opened. He spoke freely all day. He didn't get angry or upset at the team (often he does). And he thanked us for the good care we gave to his patient.
There's one more part to share, it was another speaking of my truth--usually I'm quiet. A colleague wanted to use a new long-acting liposomal form of local anesthetic for shoulder blocks. Pharmacy wouldn't let him, because insurance didn't pay. But now they will. He was mentioning to me about his interest to try the medication with the pharmacy, to start discussions.
I decided to share what I know.
Dr. Steven Shafer from Stanford spoke of it at the Hawaii conference. He showed us the raw data that had been submitted to the FDA for the drug approval.
Apparently the liposomal form is only better than water when water is injected as a local anesthetic. And then, only for hemorrhoid surgery. The new formulation was never tested against the non-liposomal form of the local anesthetic which is one hundred times cheaper, or at least, the data wasn't submitted to the FDA.
That's because it wasn't better.
He showed other tests that proved the cheaper one was superior in every way.
This lie of the new formulation's superiority was touted by the reps who didn't know the data, and now it's out there as part of the medical community--and it's shameful and wrong what has been done.
I told my colleague that this is the data, sadly, and to be careful when you work with the new expensive version because the claims might not be true. The original local anesthetic gets absorbed into fat too. So the liposomes don't make much difference.
He appreciated my candor. I'm glad he did.
It's time for getting reading for the morning. I did spend some time with Ross in meditation before this. He wants me to write about 'the sparkle' and 'getting back the sparkle'.
On my walk in nature two days ago, I found a Christmas tree ornament that had fallen into the bushes. It was sparkly silver. But there was mud on it. That was my lesson from Gaia. Does it still sparkle with the mud? Yes, actually, it's not all the way hidden.
She also asked me, 'how can we get the sparkle back?'
That's a big part of my journey now. Working to get the sparkle back.
I went on a walk yesterday. Basically I did all of the other 'gifts to yourself' from Kryon besides the 'spend a day doing what you like'. I spoke with Gaia, and I asked Her, why did you let this happen to you? You are a beautiful Being. Your poor environment, habitats, animals, and plants are at the mercy of humans who do not appreciate you!'
We both knew She could assert herself. I told her I actually admire Her for letting humans know they are not in control of everything when she has a huge--authentic!--natural disaster.
I was surprised at her response.
She let me know she is counting on the humans to awaken and help Her. Not to Rescue. But having humans as caretakers of the Earth is the Original Plan and she is bound and determined for Her plan to come to fruition.
The second thing is She showed me how She is able to call on her children ANY time, there is a direct connection to their hearts. I saw it, it looks like an energy sea anemone and a huge fireworks that don't stop their presence in the sky, from Her to each of their hearts. Even the not so nice ones. She can call those ones too, and they can't fight it. Their bodies are made of Her essence just like everything else. And She can call them in on it.
Our countdown is 145 and yesterday was a hard one for me. I'm walking through a nightmare after nightmare situation. For example, to go down the mountain all I wanted to do was to get past the snow down from 7,000 to 5,000 feet. But instead there was a ridge to cross, and we went UP to 8,450 feet!
Yesterday I cried all day, and I complained to Ross about everything. How hard it is to be alive with my anxiety I carry with me every day. How working is hard. How Anthony's father is so mean to me (Ross said to always keep loving him even though it's not easy, it's my way out from that.)
Ross did his best to soothe me and he also told me what to do in what order and to take a walk.
My auto shop said it was probably snow packed into the brakes that was making the terrible noise. He ordered a new auxiliary battery. And I took the tires to the tire shop. I was surprised at how unhelpful people were. The man at the cash register always walks and looks at the tire. This one, the woman, asked me if I filled it with air? She told me how to use their free one. Once there, none of the men helped me, they kept talking. I didn't understand the settings and had concern because it filled one tire to 41 and the max recommendation is 33. I had to ask for help, and the man grudgingly did it with a smile and kind words, but you could tell he didn't really want to help.
This absence of kindness is epidemic. I am taking special note of it, and reporting it to my teams.
It is not welcome here on Earth.
The next important thing happened when I watched a difficult to watch video on Heather O'Rourke. Here is the link:
What is important isn't about what's in it. It's what I saw with my Spirit Eyes while I was watching it.
While the men were abusing Heather, I could see and feel their energies--the aggression, the darkness, the lust. It was flowing out from them. What surprised me was over Heather's body, a little stack of ice blue lights was going UP like your phone battery charges or something is powered up.
There was something in it for her, it was angelic, and it was hers for keeps.
It wasn't exactly like they were transferring energy to her. I could see their vibration dropping lower and lower through their choices and their actions. They were digging themselves deeper into a hole.
But Heather's soul gained from the experience just as much as her helpless little body suffered. It's not a one way street. And even though some people who experience such trauma and survive are having a hard time coping with it, at least I could visualize the one good -- somehow Earth is a place where people have the ability to jump up by leaps and bounds in their spiritual development.
This doesn't resonate with me at one hundred percent true, but the diagrams are good enough to get you thinking about the big picture, so I will share:
Everything is coming to a head. Stay calm. I want you to strengthen your connection to Gaia and the Earth, even if there is snow. You talk with Her. From your Heart when no one is looking.
If She asks you for kindness, offer it, in any way that She requests, even if is taking better care of your self and your family.
Our Anthony is sick. He caught something from school and was careless about not wearing a jacket in the mountains. Carla had to remind him.
Carla explained to him how important it is for him to protect her, the breadwinner, from illness when he is sick. Carla has weak lungs, and there isn't any time off when the physician who broke her arm is home recovering. By taking care of himself he is being kind and loving to her.
There is an early day at work for her. And a long day. It is very sad for her when her son is sick and she is not able to take care of him. She makes a huge thermos of boiling water for him to have oatmeal and tea.
And she calls. And she texts from her workplace.
Carla is feeling sick herself too and would prefer to stay in bed, but that is not possible.
These are the times we are up against, where everything is as much against Nature and the Natural Law as there can be.
This is being addressed.
I would like to add two more links for your enjoyment:
China very rare and expensive postage stamp - The Drunken Concubine, 300 fen, No 315, year 1962 108 x 146 mm
The title of today's blog post comes as the first half of a lesson.
The second half is, 'God likes it when you reach the point where you just say, God I can't take it any more! I give up! because THAT'S when God can step in, you get out of the way, and GOD can take care of it even better for you.' My neighbor explained that when I asked about how she met her husband. She said when he walked into a room, he smiled, and she felt like the whole place got happier when he came in, and remembered, 'there was a time once where I used to be like that too'. She had felt her 'picker' was broken and she just had sworn off men until she could figure out why she kept getting the same kind of bad men in her life. This tall and handsome former professional baseball player who her friend invited along because he always paid for the girls meals and drinks--was God's idea of who was right for her.
Together with our countdown, to number one hundred forty six, we have all of the news in condensed form for those of you who are with limited time.
For those of you who would like a little more, I'll let you know about Ross' birthday (thank you for the wishes!), the eclipse, and how these lessons came to be.
We had plans to spend the weekend with friends in a special location...since not all of the friends could fit in the lodgings, the few who went are keeping it quiet among themselves.
We cooked all meals together, and it was a delight to concentrate on cooking together. Actually, some of my dishes looked so beautiful that people mistook them for the work of the one who's almost a professional chef. And the chef friend and I, we were amazed at how altitude affects cooking time--either it was an old stove or it just took longer. We had fun.
The kids had fun with an old air hockey table in the game room. The adults enjoyed time in the hot tub after dinner (the kids went in before dinner).
I had brought an enormous bottle of red wine from Trader Joe's (Rosso was the name on it) and we drank the whole thing over the weekend.
This was the good part.
The lesson--there always is a lesson if it's not 'on assignment'--was the windy roads, the little bit of dizzy from the thin air, and my fears as well as my bad luck and my forgetting times have changed.
The drive up was bumper to bumper traffic on a road daddy used to take in the Volkswagen many times without delay. And my having to go pee the whole hours it took to arrive. We left the house at nine a.m. and were the last to arrive to the location because the others used an app and were notified of an alternate route.
On the way home was worse. Ice. Warning lights. Brake failure and a tow. Lots of tears. The friends were kind and waited down the road at a Starbucks until the truck had arrived and we were heading home. Both the husband who found us and moved our car ahead in the turnout and the tow truck driver heard the horrible screeching noise from the left rear brake.
The driver actually told us on the way home, the second alternate route had been even worse--in the past a tow truck with the passenger and car on the flat bed had used the brakes too much, the brakes burned up, and the whole thing flew off the side of the road. The driver and passenger lived but are in critical condition.
So what was the lesson?
What came up is I don't like to have the responsibility for my loved ones and my own life in my hands.
Both Ross and I were surprised to see that was in my heart. On a deep level, in my heart, I felt I'd failed him, I'd failed his mom, I'd failed our kids. I was overwhelmed to the point it made an imprint on my very soul.
I'd done the self-talk the whole way down the hill. We had an auxiliary battery failure, as well as a low tire pressure, starting the drive home. When traffic got bad, many people turned and went the other way, back up the hill, through the town, and down the other road we came up the first time. (As it turns out, that one is actually the safest route, according to the driver).
I was too shaken to go back up through the ice. I had seen people coming up with chains and I knew it was bad. I remembered how to drive in ice, and never once slipped. But I was near tears the whole time, I hate it so much.
I kept telling myself, these are safe drivers. This is the best route of all possible routes. My Higher Self, Ross, and Divine Creator has chosen it for me. Fear isn't real. Only love is real.
On the way up, my palms had been sweating and I had to take many turnouts to let the other drivers pass. On the way down, my palms didn't sweat. I did need the bathroom. We were parked in traffic, and I had to run to find a bush but it wasn't easy and people saw. I didn't care. But when people shouted at me like it was a football game, and someone else said, 'wipe your ass bitch!' I felt very bad. Not about me, but about our society. The demonic is very active. It's palpable in the masses. I will provide two links in the next section if you're interested on that.
The tow truck driver had two huge wooden rosaries on his turning signal by the wheel. I knew he had been sent. It was a safe and pleasant trip home, and with my good auto membership it was free. I have today off to fix the car.
I don't have the vision, the reflexes, and the fearlessness I had in my youth. I also have seen way to many a trauma at work--the risks to me are a little exaggerated. I have a good car and I keep up the maintenance. But it's okay to know my limits. I had thought about staying an extra day for the roads to improve, I have today off. But the weather was the same, and there would be snowmelt that had turned to ice on the second day.
It's that way with everything, really. It comes. And it goes.
One day physical forms will go.
That's just the way it is. It's part of the plan. Even my favorite neurosurgeon said how his friend had died in a motorcycle accident in his sixties--a brilliant surgeon who died--because there comes a time where you have to set aside certain activities due to your change in your reflex times.
This car, which I had thought would be our 'forever car'--might need to be let go.
Our home--which is looking better all the time because of the horror stories a friend has of her neighborhood which are even worse--someone selling drugs, playing the drums until ten p.m. so loud that a neighbor has to wear headphones to block the noise out, and parking in other people's driveways--help me to see there's no easy solution. When it's time to go, you go. Even the driver who was from Palm Springs pays five hundred dollars a month for the electricity in summer for the air conditioning, and they have brown recluse spiders and scorpions to watch out for.
My fears embarrassed me in front of Anthony. He has to put up with calming music I play on the radio. He can't talk about just anything because I'm working so hard on the road. I know Ross is helping. On the way up there was one part where he said, 'come into my arms' and right around the bend were the worst dizzying heights and Anthony looked down the passenger side and said, 'whatever you do mom, don't take a turnout, it will make it worse, let the other drivers wait.'
In the big picture, the time with friends was worth it. The memories were worth it. Us all seated at the same table, eight of us, for meals was worth it. Skipping the lines at the snowplow facility and just going on someone's unplowed driveway was worth it. The laughter and the people were worth it. Building a fire was worth it.
There's been three scary places for me to drive, places I've driven before without problem--Yosemite, Big Island (the part up to Hilo as well as the part from Volcano back up to Kona have some nasty steep cliffs), and then this weekend. I guess it's time to reflect on it with Ross in meditation, and prepare for the next phase for me. I know a time came where my parents had to stop driving--I never thought that day would come but it did. I'm not in my twenties anymore. Ross will help me I know.
Did I enjoy the eclipse full moon? Yes. It looked like a cookie with a bite taken out of it, then it turned color once the shadow covered it.
Did I feel any energy? no.
Did I feel any energy from that bogus mass meditation from the snake guy? no.
Has the energy of the Galactic Central Sun been anchored on the earth since before that bogus meditation? YES! For at least five or seven years, actively working!! You can even buy a book about it online at Kindle (search for Author Isabel Henn).
How does my energy feel right this minute now? Not so good. My colleague broke her arm, so I have to pitch in and help cover for her for the next two months. I feel lots of gratitude--friends, family, people in helping professions who helped us recently.
I also have my eyes open and I'm cautious about society, the government shutdown, and the future. That's why I count the days. Using logic and my human mind, it doesn't look good. But knowing Spirit is in charge, and we are being guided, I tell myself that things are coming up to be released/let go.
Just like with my fear of dooming my family by not protecting them. Ross probably had it in his life contract long before, I probably saw it and okayed it when I was not incarnate. But the incarnate one, it really was hard, and many incarnations later I'm still having difficulty trying to heal from it.
seaweed, its rich in vitamins, minerals, and fiber. 146
I put this here because it looks like ocean/beach life is what's left for me from here on out.
And if I go elsewhere, perhaps, someone else is going to have to drive me.
I can only take so much.
Here's the two videos:
1) old-school type presentation, logical, edited well, and has beginning, middle, and end
2) this one is a more modern version, and it shows the end-product of this dark influence on our society. Even more disturbing is the master May-sun who is running the show...the host of the TV show, and the plan here to influence us by his show. The other host, the YouTube One, perhaps, has a similar plan for young people? All of them adore him.
Both what is happening, and also, how few people know or realize what is going on, or even care.
They were watching the Guardians of the Galaxy infinity wars at the cabin. I couldn't stand to listen to it.
One character's name is Gomorrah.
Another had to 'sacrifice someone they loved to make it to the next level'.
And someone said, 'who is you master? Jesus Christ?! -- in mocking tones-- and said that this is in Outer Space!!'
It was proselytizing --preaching to the masses--the Dark Agenda.
God is love. God loves us no matter what. Both Divine Mother and Divine Father who together are Creator of All That Is. We are loved through all of this and worse inside the Illusion.
So why not love God back?
Here's one last thing that disturbs me. I had listened to the beginning of the song the other day and the words struck me as some sort of sermon. Then I recalled, correctly so, that he was found dead in an elevator...
Also what is weird is Ruth Bader Ginsberg is in the new Lego Movie--how random is that? And now she just passed, I heard? Hmmmm? Accidentally posted? It's maddening how difficult it is with the smoke and mirrors to find the truth.
So for some, they are enjoying watching the drama and eating popcorn.
I'm choosing to meditate, to pray, and to show love to everyone I meet. To do my best to let it--whether it is coming or going. To turn things over to The Divine Creator of All That Is. And to just show up.
Ross is quiet. He's going to spend the day with me. He's happy very happy with the bracelet project and we will work on it some more today.
He says to you, 'I love you' and 'Thank you' and 'good times are ahead--hang in there' and 'keep talking to Carla'.