Wednesday, January 9, 2019

Jumping In





I'm jumping into the 'new'. Ross has been working with me to help me see my limitations, where they are anchored in my past lives, and helping me to trust and to look forward with hope.

Housing is something where my life took a huge wrong turn in my perception in this incarnation. I went from having it be my 'splurge'--the nicest apartment I could afford to help me relax and recharge at the end of a long day when I was single--to a place I stay more because of comfort, security, familiarity, and financial stability than I actually get that feeling of relaxation and rest.

I also have become terrified to leave.

In my training fate has forced me to relocate time and again. I grew tired of it. So now in my current home, I actually have lived just a little bit longer than my first home where I was born and raised. It feels nice to have this continuity of community and familiarity.

People come and go, don't get me wrong. Businesses come and go. And a huge apartment building (with rents I couldn't afford because it's 'Luxury'--double what I was spending eighteen years ago for 'Luxury') came in right where an old lake and trees and wildlife used to live. I see it every time I get off the freeway and I hate it what they did to the animals. I really do. It's a total shame how humans think they have more rights than wildlife--and displace them over money. But that's another story.

What Ross is helping me to unravel is how my ability to dream of housing, in this incarnation, got broken when I was married to Frank. We saw beautiful homes in Newport Coast for six hundred thousand dollars. Not a whole lot more than our condo. We had been newlyweds, and I wanted to move OUT of the condo and into a proper home.

We couldn't.

HE couldn't.

We didn't even try because of him!

I didn't know he had lots of debt he was hiding from me. I know right? Who gets married and doesn't tell their partner that?

So then after that, I've been on my own, single again, and being able to live as my income allows.

Since my income is highly variable, and even though I've been with this group for ten years, it's not actually like being employed where there is a sense of security, in my mind I've been in contingency mode--basing my housing on a worst-case situation.

It's not a bad thing.

But if you take a soul who has terror because when she left India with Ross all hell broke loose for them as a couple, and she communicated to him before the move her psychic impressions to caution him, you get an idea of the anguish these things can stir up.

And also, in two or three past lives ago, I did build my castle on a hill. Just to my specifications. But that went sour too.

The kind of things I am moving forward on are:

  • putting my needs first
  • reflecting on what is important to me in life (I need to interact with nature, a lot, especially the ocean. I told Ross every day I am not snorkeling is a day wasted. It was my heart speaking.)
  • taking it up a notch and deciding what community I would like to be a part of next.
  • my dream home has Spanish colonial architecture, a proper front and back yard, and four bedrooms, a dining room, an eat-in kitchen, and preferably a historical home/architecture. I dislike modern kitchens with islands and waterfalls and huge knob stoves.
  • I slowly understand that when I find the right place for me the right school will be there for Anthony.  I also gently see how where I am now meets a lot more of those goals than I had thought through. Angels planned it that way for me, and I'm starting to appreciate their work. 
I look through the homes I like.

There is no way I could ever afford them.

Ross grew impatient with me--he is the prince of patience let me tell you!--and he looked at me with love and pain at my difficulty, and said once, simply, 'look--I'm coming back. Ok?' with the impression of 'don't you get it?'

I've been talking to him more and more like a husband. Ross, I need your support on this decision I need to make. Ross, I could use some financial help around here, it's getting rough. (A check came in the mail from the oral surgeon of all things! For almost five hundred dollars. Out of the blue. It is going to cover the two hundred fifty the Children's Hospital ER bill that came the same day, the first of many).

We talk about everything as a couple except our future.

I know in some way my Higher Self is connected to him, but it's also me, and we live somewhere in the future or in space and I've seen our home in meditation. I could draw it for you! 

I've always thought I had to die to get to that place again. Or Ascend. I've been told I Ascended, but it's not really happening clear enough for me to understand it in the general world around me. I'll talk about that next, and one last thing and then go. 

The part Ross brought up for me, is I could see my calling was and still is to medicine, doing the 'real thing' in the hospital. I'm good at it. And the hospital needs my energy. I've almost built a healing center at the surgery center and hospital. That was my dream to do that full time. 

One area that focus has come clearer is there should be inpatient facilities to help us do a cleanse, or at least the financial support to stay home for such proactive care without having to take up our vacation for it. I'd call it 'tune up days'. 

The other is how it gets paid. The current paradigm of healthcare sucks for most people who are gainfully employed. The costs have been shifted to us to carry the financial burden for the uninsured, newly insured. My rates have quadrupled from ten years ago for my own insurance for me and Anthony. If I go access health care, my deductibles are scary high. It's a nightmare. 

Someone brought up at dinner with friends yesterday that in California new moms will get six months leave, paid, to raise their kids. I understand the need. Just yesterday in the O.R. women were talking about how all they want to do is stay home and spend time with their newborn because they are so cute (the surgeon has a three-month old son, her first).  I shared how I just want to cry every day at three p.m., I want to go home, and it's never stopped. In the break room we talked about how motherhood involves guilt (the fifth trimester!) by trying to balance home and a career...so I get it. I and my friends just don't want to pay for it. It's going to come out of the taxes somehow, and affect everyone. For me, with Anthony thirteen, I'm never even going to benefit personally. 

It's going to be a tricky turn for healthcare to go around--how to get to the healing and do 'what's right' while still staying in business. I would suggest instead of a fifteen minute annual physical--to have a meeting with a health coordinator who understands all forms of healing, and to work on the interview with you to find out what areas/projects need to be addressed, then to formulate a plan to address it. 

For me it would be haircut, dental visit, periodontal visit, mammogram/Pap, thyroid visit, sleep apnea visit, asthma visit and weight (I'm making progress in the last one). Also for my right big toe. 

I've been dreaming Ascension would bring us instantly into total and perfect health. I know in 5D we don't even need glasses. But until then the health coach/coordinator/expert would be a good first step.

Now to the second topic for the day is the Ascension thing. To be honest, it's been quite lonely. Blessed Mother told me years ago 'congratulations!' because I had just Ascended.  I'm still waiting for signs around me of others going 'up' too.

Well, it's starting. Little 'flurries' https://gaiaportal.wordpress.com/2019/01/09/severance-elements-are-brought-to-bear/ is a good way to describe them.

Yesterday two people from the Labor Deck saw me going to my car, and asked me how Anthony's health is? They are FB friends, and weren't as mean to me on the OB workplace as some others were. They were friendly and kind. I was still off-guard. And one, offered me a box of lemons from her mother in law's yard! A whole box!

I couldn't believe it.

I also had a patient who needed one surgery, but had a condition that was so bad I had to change my anesthesia plan to accommodate it and keep her safe. I told her of a surgeon we have on staff who fixes it. Sure enough, even though I gave her his name, I ran into him. I told him I referred her to him. And he asked for her phone number and name so her could contact her personally. He did. She was so touched and grateful that I would go to him on her behalf, he told me she became very emotional, and was going to go to him for help for her condition. (it truly was the worst I've seen in my career, and a simple procedure can fix it. She's been suffering three or four years, every day, with it.)

Those are flurries. Times where people are nice--unusually nice!--helpful, kind, and there's a synchronicity to it.

So look for it.


The last thing, is a little embarrassing, because who of us hadn't had an infestation with ants, or roaches, or 'mice' (rats)? We don't like to talk about it. 

But let's call them 'animalitos' (little animals in Spanish), okay?

What is the first thing you do when you want to get rid of these unwanted guests who are invading your home?

You get rid of the food supply, don't you?

You set traps and poisons of course. But first you have to give them a reason not to come in the first place, right? So you clean and take out anything that might be attracting them to your home. 

In our Governments, across the globe, but especially here in the States, there is infestation of TWDNHOBIAH. They are sucking away the power and the cash. From the Federal Reserve lie. From the IRS (I've heard our taxes pay the interest back to the Central Banks). From the dark military run by Lucifarian principles. From the black ops like Area 51 which have weird budgeting that not even the President has a need to know--totally out of control, right?

So how do you starve these entities and these people who are against the highest good of all of the rest of us?

Might they get their money from the government?

How long can they go without their 'food'?

What types of reactions might we see in them, watching from the outside, when their real interests are thwarted by a shutdown?

I don't know.

But it might prove interesting to watch as the shutdown drags on. 

It's just a thought.

I didn't watch the speech last night. I was out to dinner with friends.  I had this thought come to me two days ago that there might be a purpose for a different kind of 'wall'--one between the positive military and the dark one in positions of power--and perhaps a change of the power overall which would be most welcome to put it back into the hands of those who DO have our best interest at heart.

I'm all for THAT wall!

No more 'animalitos' in my world governments forever!

No more 'animalitos' hurting the life experience for any kind of life on this earth--animals, vegetable or mineral.

No more 'animalitos' telling us lies about our spiritual gifts.


I'm looking forward to this. And forward to bigger 'flurries' of helpfulness and unconditional love and things going RIGHT.

And also, to Ross if what he says is true.

I miss him, every single day... from all my interactions with him up to this point, I thought he was never coming back, to be honest. I thought we all had to 'make the jump' to where he is. That our vibrations were too dense and coarse for him any more in his Spirit Body. 

The homes in Newport Coast I loved had this thing, like an outside room with a fireplace. They also had pools with pool houses, and ocean views.

I just need to get to where I can smell the ocean every day. And if possible, snorkel. 

Every day I don't go snorkeling is a day wasted! I love to be with the fishes and the corals and experience their world. Even if it's just for a short time before the rest of my day.  It feels like home to me.  I also need to be near the cetaceans--dolphins and whales.

Anthony told me yesterday he didn't know why but all of a sudden the whales were calling him, he felt it?

It was me, remembering my connection to them--the cetaceans--the Sirian presence on the planet, the keepers of all knowledge and holders of the grid in the oceans.

I felt it that strong, strong enough for him to feel a ripple of it. 

Good times are ahead!





Ross puts his fingers to his lips. He wants to keep his news a surprise for today. Not a top-secret surprise. Just a loving one he's put lots of time into planning for us all.



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Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,

Ross and Carla
The Couple
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