Today, delicately, from the side angle, and gently, we are going to talk about the Divine Masculine.
Today, and just for today, we are going to talk about what damage souls suffer and endure when the Father is absent from the picture.
There is a friendship at work which is growing, between myself and a resident in surgery. She is one of the tiniest, quietest, and hardest working residents I have ever met. She doesn't even look you in the eye, all the time, just sometimes. I know the work for the residents in her specialty is crushing. Covering many consults at multiple hospitals, and taking lots of call.
I've been always acutely aware of the suffering of these residents, and her in particular. So I've made it a point to be extra encouraging and friendly and supportive every time I work with her. I taught residents in anesthesia for ten years, I trained them in academic medicine where I worked at two different universities, and also, I worked with many residents from other specialties who were training in surgery and the surgical specialties where I worked. I see it.
She told me I am the nicest doctor she has ever met, anywhere, and emphasized by adding, 'I've seen a LOT of doctors' (in her training).
It's pretty obvious to me what the wound was, I know, because I am fortunate to have grown up with a dad who was a teacher and worked really hard to help develop me to my full potential.
She's never met her father.
Just like Anthony, the parents split while the mom was still pregnant with the second child in the family, the girl. I shared with her that I was abandoned by the father when I was four months pregnant, he just walked out on me.
She thought, and got her courage up, and asked me if the father is involved with my son? Her voice was shaking a little when she asked, it was the most emotion I've ever seen her have, and I've known her two years.
I explained how it's more to his convenience and how it suits him, he used to stick to the court schedule for visitation, but now with the Covid and our boy being older it's kind of up in the air.
I shared how on the very day I found out I was pregnant at the doctor, there was a note under the door saying he wanted to break up with me. I said how I realized I didn't even have to tell him, and would have been so happy the whole time. But I knew children need their father, and I set my happiness aside to honor the child, and let Jared know.
I remember Jared asking if we should get married, and I said, 'no, not yet, because I've had bad luck with marriage. Let's wait until after the baby comes.' and I asked him to help me save face by staying in relationship as we were for appearances until after the baby was born.
Earlier my friend the resident had said she feels lonely with her work. Being a resident is hard, I remember, there's not much time for anything else.
But even through she grew up in a small rented apartment in the same town as the hospital, when her grandmother passed, her mother had enough money for a downpayment, and they moved to Corona (a suburb kind of a long drive from the area) and now the son, daughter, and mother live in a real house. They were happy.
Anthony and I watch a lot of Bar Rescue. We like how Jon Taffer helps people, both the people and the business, for a second chance.
Last night's episodes had a husband who would sit at the bar with his friends and party while the wife worked her butt off. This was in Santa Clarita, California. In California, relationships are different. The wife was gorgeous, a blonde with a lovely figure--a mother of two. The husband, not so handsome. She felt her husband was a little stressed and he was working six days a week, so she didn't want to push him with her needs. She was working seven days a week at the bar with one other bartender who quit. She was all by herself. The husband had promised to help her, during the Bar Rescue, but in the 'back to the bar' we learned he just left. He was making money, the wife was grateful, and she knew the marriage wasn't strong enough for her to make demands. Jon saw the marriage headed for trouble anyway, as in his leaving now the wife would have to carry the failure of the bar on herself. He asked the audience if anyone would ever leave their wife or girlfriend to carry the weight of running the bar all on her shoulders, and nobody said 'yes'. But he is from Long Island, and East Coast even though he lives in Las Vegas. In California, things are different, and many men don't even stay in relationships or commit. This husband was spending time at a different bar with his friends, hanging out, and 'resting' and not helping with the housework, ever.
That bar closed.
Another bar, the husband and wife opened it, but then he started to get all mean Irish, saying the f-word and insulting everyone. The couple divorced but they couldn't afford to live separately. So they were business partners and roommates for two years before Jon came. The man would play pool and hustle the customers for money, even though in their state of Florida that's totally illegal for an owner to do that.
Jon Taffer had an intervention with the staff telling him how they felt, how they needed the job, and he was driving customers away. Furthermore, Jon bet him to go two days without saying the f-word, and if he did, then he would install a smoke ventilation system so the non-smokers would be able to come enjoy the bar too--because it was totally smoke-filled from the smokers who were all smoking inside the bar and pool hall. This man changed for the better, and his staff and partner were able to count on him. He started making more money, and was able to move out.
Families are changing.
It's not by accident.
I'm sure there are external forces at play, because by taking the children from the parents they are easier to indoctrinate. When a single parent has to work, there's not much option.
I'll also say, directly, that the absence of Divine Masculine--either physical like with the resident and the wife left holding up her end of the bar--or emotional like the last example and the Irishman with his bar--isn't an easy burden on the family....BUT...it could be a whole lot worse where the father was abusive or SRA or anything like that. One day we will speak of those kinds of families where there is lots of dysfunction.
We aren't putting the blame on the father, today we are exposing the aftermath of the father who for his own reasons, doesn't come through with the Divine Masculine that is needed for everyone in the family to survive.
Single mothers are balanced, and do what they can.
Single fathers exist too, this I know, and they do the best they can.
Perhaps the greatest gift a father can bring to the family is to show how a woman/wife is to be treated...it is irreplaceable. And some divorced fathers still understand this solemn responsibility so well that they make a point to teach it to their kids--even if they don't like the mother--so that the kids will grow up whole and intact.
In our society, where does self-esteem, healthy self-esteem, arise?
From being able to do things and be competent at them.
This is the work of the father, the showing of how in life, we do things in our physical bodies and enjoy them! My dad spent lots of time swinging me in a circle like an airplane in the third picture from the left in the top row. My sister and I would take turns riding his back like the second photo from the left on the bottom row. The taught us sports, how to ride a bike, how to fish, how to ride a motorcycle. I remember riding up a hill at the desert that was so straight up and rocky and scary to my mother she made us stop the ride, and she wanted me to walk my bike up the rest of the way. She stopped and walked. I rode. It was kind of hard to get my momentum up after stopping, but I did and I didn't fall.
I remember the time there was a river embankment on the dry river bed. It was like a four foot sandy cliff. My uncle pumped the handlebars, hit the gas, and rode up over it. My dad did the same. And I tried it. I didn't pump as hard, my bike was a lot smaller, so I went flying up and over the embankment while my motorcycle stopped hard. We thought it was hilarious, all of us were laughing so hard and I probably got the wind knocked out of me but I wasn't seriously hurt. We didn't even wear helmets or anything back then in the day.
Mothers protect life.
Fathers encourage you to live it and enjoy the gift!
Your self-esteem grows because of it.
I saw a father do something I will never forget. He helped his son over the safety part on the top of a bridge over a river, and helped his son not slip as he stood on the rail at the top of the bridge.
The mother was nonchalant. Unflappable. They had asked if Anthony wanted to do it, but Anthony can get hurt in a padded room all by himself. Yesterday playing bocce he caught his pinkie finger on his throwing hand on his leg and I heard it pop. I insisted he watch.
The son, who I thought was going to jump, did a flip or a flip and a half and then hit the water. I was amazed and have never seen anything like it in my life. I will never forget that for as long as I live.
And the vibe was, the father had done it, lots of people have done it, and now it was the son's turn to do it.
When I was in Zurich, at the lake, I saw a huge tower, and crowds were watching young boys about the same age as the son--teens and twenties, taking huge jumps all fancy into the water below.
The trauma training in me cringed every time I saw one of them walking to the end of that high board, because I've taken care of what happens when things go wrong.
Fortunately, everything went right, and the crowd was delighted. They had been doing that there all day.
Jumping like this, builds the confidence in that culture. Here, we don't jump, but we skateboard and surf and do other things in sports that build the confidence.
This doesn't happen with Divine Feminine or Divine Masculine by itself, alone.
Here is another way to look at it. Total and complete balance of the energies of Divine Masculine, and Divine Feminine.
Yes, we are on a Divine Feminine planet. And yes, there have been times Earth was run by a matriarchy, it has had the pendulum swing to patriarchy, and it appears to be heading back towards a matriarchy again.
No matter the system, every child needs the loving support of the parents. Both have special gifts to help the child grow resilient, strong, happy, and healthy.
C: Ross asked me the other day what is the hardest thing about our relationship situation?
I said without skipping a beat, 'the PICTURES!' Without a photograph of the two of us, people tend to think I'm a little looney and soft in the head. It's so difficult.
He reassured me that there will be no question of it, in the coming times.
He also told me two very important things:
- You know how I was able to see the resident's wound, her father hunger? Well, apparently, each of us have our wounds. They are very easy for low-vibration, non-physical spirits--or spirits who have 'hopped on' or 'hopped in' to vulnerable people--to see. He says it's like a homing beacon, and they know how to exploit it. He says we don't know what our weaknesses are. Most of us have no clue. But the ones who wish to exploit us, DO see it. And use it to their advantage. This is the purpose of growing, healing, releasing, and knowing everything you can possibly know about yourself. If you know your weaknesses and accept them you are less vulnerable this way.
- Those who think they are in control might not actually BE as 'in control' as they think. It felt like he was suggesting that the ASSC might appear to have the media and the situations going according to their plan. (homework--look up the Protocols of The Learned Elders of Zion for a hint of how they operate)...but don't believe it as true. There are other ways. From this I sense that being able to be quiet and reflect and meditate will get you into the space of Reality where Ross is talking about, it's kind of like a vacation from all the circus going on.
R: I am a father. I love Carla and I love Anthony. I do my best to help our family grown, even when I am not incarnate! There are a dozen red roses on the table. Carla and Anthony are living in a house I helped bring them to live, so they can enjoy their time on Earth.
There is one more story from the Bar Rescue I'd like to share. The overwhelmed female owner who was crying and clearly in over her head. There had been a flood in Florida, she made a claim to the insurance, but it was denied because the building was too old and in poor repair. The floor and the bar were not level, sinking about four or five inches every four feet. She didn't know where to turn, all of the repairs would be expensive, even the leaks in the roof and the ceiling...That's where Jon Taffer stepped in. Even he wasn't sure he could repair the floors on this schedule. But his team did. Below were rotten pipes leaking. Everything, floor, electrical, plumbing, were made new so the owner could have a second chance again. She had to learn to be an owner and not get her anxiety on her staff, too.
Carla was like that in her old home. The foundation wasn't right, something was wrong that was expensive and she couldn't put her finger on it. It would take gutting the place and moving out, and there was no way to guarantee her a return on her money.
It wasn't until watching that episode that Carla understood how much I love her. How patient I was to wait and not to push her to any timetable but her own. And how I was able to get her out of that death trap (feeling powerlessness and hopeless) and into another home where she owns it from the ground up, and she has the right to fix it.
Anthony was telling her the other day how he likes it so much better that they call their own workers instead of going through the homebuyers insurance like at the old house. The air conditioner is still working. At the last house, Anthony mentioned, the insurance would send people who didn't really ever fix the problems with the air conditioner, they would only replace the broken part and let it break again (capacitors).
Carla is closer to me than ever. We are one. She knows and feels my love for her, in every way. And a lot of it is through my listening to her, and encouraging her to trust in herself and in our love.
It isn't easy what I ask of her.
But, just like with fatherhood worldwide--the good ones!--we teach you how to enjoy life and to grow in confidence and to trust in the Divine Plan which is unique for every single one of you!!!l--our LOVE is what is helping Carla to heal, not just from Jared, but from everything we have ever witnessed Carla to experience in all of her incarnations, and it is a lot.
The nightmare IS almost over.
And Carla and Anthony completed the one thousand piece huge puzzle yesterday too, even moving the sofa to find the lost piece that was the last one.
They called it my piece!
Aloha and mahalos,
Ross and Carla
With joy in our souls who are complete now that we are together again