Today I celebrate a quiet victory. It's over a pillow. Why is this so?
My neck needs a little support. And I've been watching the videos about home organizing now for about two weeks. I was washing my sheets, a day late, it's supposed to be Saturday but it was Sunday. I looked at my neck support pillow, the memory foam one, and I thought to myself, 'this looks kind of old and like it might need to be replaced.'
Eight hours later, I had a new one, a 'no flat spots' pillow, for eight dollars.
It worked wonderfully last night.
I manifested it.
There has been a subtle shift in me, over the last three or four weeks. It's deep to my core and hard to explain if you didn't grow up poor like me. Let me use an example with the towels.
My towels in my home are ten to fifteen years old. They still work. I hadn't thought of throwing them out. Why?
Because I grew up with towels that were threadbare.
So my towels have always been 'better' by comparison. It's just two people using them, not four. Why waste money on good towels?
The same with the sheets. There were no holes, and they worked, right?
Well, my new mattress is deeper. And I have a pillow topper of sorts. I noticed in the new house that the pillow topper slides off. Only my newest sheet set keeps it in place.
Originally, my vision for this house was minimalist. Out with the old. Only one set of sheets per bed. Only two towels each. Less work. All new. Like a hotel. But when it came to the move, I couldn't throw the old ones out. I 'needed' them. Their colors, their familiarity, their number--what if I didn't do the laundry.
What has changed is I've learned to see outside the way I've been raised or taught to see, and now a little more like an organizer would see. The sheets where the topper slipped had loose elastic. They also were not as deep as the mattress, they were cut differently. The towels, although not threadbare, are not anywhere near new. They are good for rags, for the housecleaning, at least with the washcloths. So it's my perception that has changed. By a lot.
I mention this because many people try to manifest by saying the words, 'I deserve it'.
We live in a society where we are taught we do not deserve things.
It's a different part. So, instead of the 'I deserve it' part of you, try to get things into the, 'this just makes sense' part of you. And for me, with the towels and the sheets, 'what makes sense' was that they were old and worn out the whole time, only now I could see it.
Another way to drive the ability to manifest things goes one step beyond the perception and gratitude. It's putting time and effort into it.
Yesterday I assembled furniture outside in the sun all day. A picnic table and two benches. The directions said for two adults. I couldn't get a second adult. So I was strong and lifted and was careful. As things looked better in the back yard I was quite joyful. The chairs and market umbrella I bought were half off at the grocery store. Fourteen dollars a chair. This patio furniture I assembled as also very low cost. I didn't mind the effort and frankly it felt like I was spending the day with Ross as he's good with such things.
But then, when I went to a local store to get a base for the market umbrella, they had twenty percent off. And I found some end tables, very nice ones, which match the theme of the house and the patio. They are so on trend that even Anthony commented on how our old 'couch', the chaise I've had since fellowship in 2001--looks out of place! These too required assembly.
Earlier in the day, Anthony and I assembled our barbecue. I've had the tiny Smokey Joe forever. Now we went to the next size up Weber kettle grill. Our air conditioner is broken. And it's been very hot. I sweat profusely all day. But we got the job done. Last night he grilled, and ate at the new table. It was a first since we've moved here. It was very relaxing and nice.
Now I'm going to take you quickly to an example of someone who has a deep feeling of not deserving and is pushing others away. My friend who is dying. Everyone has their reason. But Spirit guided me to give him a gift. It was so strong I had to change my course from the way home to the store, and also, inside the store I was directed to the actual items which were in fact behind me.
It's okay to be hurting and to push people away--it's your life, my friend. People would love to let you know how much you mean to them right now. And one way or another you will see how much caring people have in their hearts for you.
The green chakra imbalance isn't a bad thing. Sometimes it's the yellow chakra that feeds it that's out of whack, and then it shows up as green chakra imbalance. No matter what your soul is good, your heart is good, your very being--although sick--is at the way it was planned with your consent before you were born. Something good is going to come out of this. Even if the dream of a long life is to be grieved, even if pain and suffering are present. No one likes pain and suffering.
I must soon get ready for work. Here are the gifts:
- A soft, cuddly stuffed Buddha to bring comfort and also to let you know you are loved very much by people on both sides of the Veil (here and the hereafter)
- Nirvana incense because it smells good.
- Guardian spray to protect the aura and comfort your energy system
- A large candle for Healing to remind you everyone is praying for you and wanting a miracle, same as you.
- a whole garlic, which in Sicily, wards off everything unwanted
- a card, to share with you in my handwritten note, how much you mean to us, how we have always turned to you and appreciated your skills and care, and we want you to know how much you are in our hearts always.
I put it in my Le Labo gift bag--my most precious thing Anthony ever bought for me was in it, a surprise Christmas present. Just to let you know our mutual appreciation of all things French is still strong.
Ross says to get to work.
Aloha and Mahalos,
Ross and Carla