Saturday, October 30, 2021



Things are good! Life is good! I have a weekend off. 

Yesterday there was a young woman in the area who 'had a mental breakdown'. She took off with the family dog. The distraught mother was knocking door to door to find her fourteen year-old daughter. Her sister was posting on Social Media. 

At a local Buffalo Chicken Wings restaurant, a worker found the dog without a collar, and bought it to the restaurant. A coworker recognized the dog from social media, and the family was notified. Surveillance cameras showed footage of the sister letting go of the dog and getting into a black Ford Taurus. 

Later, about a three-hour drive away, the car and the girl was located. She was taken to a hospital with minor injuries.

And the driver?

No, it wasn't a boyfriend. 

It was a woman who had lied, and told the girl she was her mother...

Charges will be pressed to the full extent of the law.

Remember today is 30 October. Already since mid-October, underneath our noses and hidden in plain sight, captives have been taken for 'offerings' to put it mildly, and stored in cages. The faction of the occult who run the world, have been fasting and in their own prayer so that at the time of the 'Grand Climax' of the 'holiday', their offerings will be acceptable to their god. 

So, keep a close eye on your kids! And your pets! This isn't a good time of year.

Also, if you are a prayer warrior, send healing to your communities, to keep the dark spirits away from attaching to innocent children who are dressing up and seeking candy door-to-door as is our tradition. 

It's not child's play. Ross reminds me of a ghost show Anthony and I watched, where the son and his friends were playing at an 'old witch house'. It had all the symbols of dark occult worship there, and bloodstains. They went and found a book and read from it. And he took a horseshoe home. 

Well, he took more than that, unfortunately. He had a total personality change, and apparently one of the 'chicken shit' level dark beings attached to him and wreaked havoc. Jessie C calls them that. Her targets are the leaders/generals of that 'army'. 

So it made for a fascinating show.

This is a general public awareness message. First topic was to know what happens with these times, and to be cautious and protective. 

The second public message is to discuss the likes who control, for lack of a better word, 'things'. 

One of their goals is to create a massively linked common thinking structure, a mind that is like with the picture up above. 

I want you to remember that those are all girl bees. 

We have had a drop in testosterone in our world. Some say it's the soy and the estrogen and the BPA in the bottles of water. Some say it's psychological. Others take concern that pornography is designed to weaken the male and control him. All addictions weaken the victim and control them, truly...

Some activists have said that semen retention practice solves the testosterone levels right away. 

Do know part of HIV is low testosterone and many patients are on testosterone replacement therapy. 

Let's think of egg-laying chickens. Those are all female chicks allowed to live, too, right? We don't want to think about, or talk about, what happens to the male chicks and male chicks in eggs. But those who raise hens for egg ranches destroy them without batting an eye. 

For meat chickens, this quick overview to their conditions is helpful. Especially if we recall wild chickens live in flocks with their own chicks and can live many years, six to ten on average, while meat ones are slaughtered at about six weeks age.

Read it, not for the chickens, but for the practices employed in raising them. What kind of treatment in the industry is considered 'okay'.

Remember we have already established through Kerth Barker what takes place 'hidden in plain sight' about what is eaten and drank--the unthinkable!--in 'certain circles'.

We also know that whoever runs 'them', thinks of themselves as the 'ranchers' and all of us like their 'livestock'. 

We have heard that this faction firmly believes that ninety percent of the population must be eliminated to 'save the environment' and also, 'be able to control the remnant'. With their linked minds perhaps, in the survivors?

Australia is sort of on the 'leading edge' of this movement, where the 'ranchers' are doing 'things', and the population are being treated less like sovereign beings and more like 'cattle'. 

Here is one man's opinion, as a subject in Australia. He openly rejects it:  four minute video

He threatens the magistrate that the people are going to raise up and not have mercy on people like the magistrate and his associates. 

The magistrate hangs up. 

You can think of it as a 'numbers game'--the ninety-nine percent, versus the one percent. Assuming that these are clear-headed, able to think individuals, who are not traumatized or mind-controlled in any way, this totally makes sense.  When you start to factor in fear of death, or loss of food or shelter, the bravado tones down a notch or two. In wartime Germany, most people who were compliant, lived. And had their freedoms. 

This brings us to the last point. As humans, Christians sort of have a 'dual citizenship'. Although they honor 'Rome' (current government they live under), they are citizens of Heaven too. The army of Christ. And it's global.  Governments which are infested by the occult secret societies are well aware of this. They want to get rid of anything that could dissent. 

So how do we cope? How is this going to go down? Will there be suffering?

There might.

It's a big world. 

It's happened before. It probably will happen again.

So here are some words of Corrie Ten Boom to inspire us:

(She wrote this letter from China to America’s Pastors in 1974) (pete)
My sister, Betsy, and I were in the Nazi concentration camp at Ravensbruck because we committed the crime of loving Jews. Seven hundred of us from Holland, France, Russia, Poland and Belgium were herded into a room built for two hundred. As far as I knew, Betsy and I were the only two representatives of Heaven in that room.
We may have been the Lord's only representatives in that place of hatred, yet because of our presence there, things changed. Jesus said, "In the world you shall have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world." We too, are to be overcomers – bringing the light of Jesus into a world filled with darkness and hate.
There are some among us teaching there will be no tribulation, that the Christians will be able to escape all this. These are the false teachers that Jesus was warning us to expect in the latter days. Most of them have little knowledge of what is already going on across the world. I have been in countries where the saints are already suffering terrible persecution.
In China, the Christians were told, "Don't worry, before the tribulation comes you will be translated – raptured." Then came a terrible persecution. Millions of Christians were tortured to death. Later I heard a Bishop from China say, sadly, "We have failed. We should have made the people strong for persecution, rather than telling them Jesus would come first. Tell the people how to be strong in times of persecution, how to stand when the tribulation comes, – to stand and not faint."
I feel I have a divine mandate to go and tell the people of this world that it is possible to be strong in the Lord Jesus Christ. We are in training for the tribulation, but more than sixty percent of the Body of Christ across the world has already entered into the tribulation. There is no way to escape it. We are next.
Since I have already gone through prison for Jesus' sake, and since I met the Bishop in China, now every time I read a good Bible text I think, "Hey, I can use that in the time of tribulation." Then I write it down and learn it by heart.
When I was in the concentration camp, a camp where only twenty percent of the women came out alive, we tried to cheer each other up by saying, "Nothing could be any worse than today." But we would find the next day was even worse. During this time a Bible verse that I had committed to memory gave me great hope and joy.
"If ye be reproached for the name of Christ, happy are ye; for the spirit of glory and of God resteth upon you; on their part evil is spoken of, but on your part He is glorified."
(I Peter 3:14)
I found myself saying, "Hallelujah! Because I am suffering, Jesus is glorified!"
In America, the churches sing, "Let the congregation escape tribulation", but in China and Africa the tribulation has already arrived. This last year alone more than two hundred thousand Christians were martyred in Africa. Now things like that never get into the newspapers because they cause bad political relations. But I know. I have been there. We need to think about that when we sit down in our nice houses with our nice clothes to eat our steak dinners. Many, many members of the Body of Christ are being tortured to death at this very moment, yet we continue right on as though we are all going to escape the tribulation.
Several years ago I was in Africa in a nation where a new government had come into power. The first night I was there some of the Christians were commanded to come to the police station to register. When they arrived they were arrested and that same night they were executed. The next day the same thing happened with other Christians. The third day it was the same. All the Christians in the district were being systematically murdered.
The fourth day, I was to speak in a little church. The people came, but they were filled with fear and tension. All during the service they were looking at each other, their eyes asking, "Will this one I am sitting beside be the next one killed? Will I be the next one?"
The room was hot and stuffy with insects that came through the screenless windows and swirled around the naked bulbs over the bare wooden benches. I told them a story out of my childhood.
"When I was a little girl, " I said, "I went to my father and said, "Daddy, I am afraid that I will never be strong enough to be a martyr for Jesus Christ." "Tell me," said Father, "When you take a train trip to Amsterdam, when do I give you the money for the ticket? Three weeks before?"
"No, Daddy, you give me the money for the ticket just before we get on the train."
"That is right," my father said, "and so it is with God's strength. Our Father in Heaven knows when you will need the strength to be a martyr for Jesus Christ. He will supply all you need – just in time…"
My African friends were nodding and smiling. Suddenly a spirit of joy descended upon that church and the people began singing, " In the sweet, by and by, we shall meet on that beautiful shore." Later that week, half the congregation of that church was executed. I heard later that the other half was killed some months ago.
But I must tell you something. I was so happy that the Lord used me to encourage these people, for unlike many of their leaders, I had the word of God. I had been to the Bible and discovered that Jesus said He had not only overcome the world, but to all those who remained faithful to the end, He would give a crown of life.
How can we get ready for the persecution?
First we need to feed on the Word of God, digest it, make it a part of our being. This will mean disciplined Bible study each day as we not only memorize long passages of scripture, but put the principles to work in our lives.
Next we need to develop a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. Not just the Jesus of yesterday, the Jesus of History, but the life-changing Jesus of today who is still alive
and sitting at the right hand of God.
We must be filled with the Holy Spirit. This is no optional command of the Bible, it is absolutely necessary. Those earthly disciples could never have stood up under the persecution of the Jews and Romans had they not waited for Pentecost. Each of us needs our own personal Pentecost, the baptism of the Holy Spirit. WE WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO STAND IN THE TRIBULATION WITHOUT IT.
In the coming persecution we must be ready to help each other and encourage each other. But we must not wait until the tribulation comes before starting. The fruit of the Spirit should be the dominant force of every Christian's life.
Many are fearful of the coming tribulation, they want to run. I, too, am a little bit afraid when I think that after all my eighty years, including the horrible Nazi concentration camp, that I might have to go through the tribulation also. But then I read the Bible and I am glad.
When I am weak, then I shall be strong, the Bible says. Betsy and I were prisoners for the Lord, we were so weak, but we got power because the Holy Spirit was on us. That mighty inner strengthening of the Holy Spirit helped us through. No, you will not be strong in yourself when the tribulation comes. Rather, you will be strong in the power of Him who will not forsake you. For seventy-six years I have known the Lord Jesus and not once has He ever left me, or let me down.
"Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him", (Job 13:15) for I know that to all who overcome, He shall give the crown of life. Hallelujah!"
- Corrie Ten Boom - 1974

We thank Corrie for her courage to minister to those who were at high risk of loss of life through religious persecution, and for her strength in the Holy Spirit to give them hope in their time of need. 

Her advice, based on her belief system, helped her survive the concentration camp, and brought joy and comfort to others facing tribulations, trials and struggles. 

Just for today, think about the Big Picture, let's think about it together. About 'ranchers' and 'systems', and 'plans'...get to know one side of the battle.  Then let's think about 'resistance' and methods of that. Ross reminds me of this article on a famous 'resister' in WW2. Let's expand our minds to consider various scenarios (such as, what if the spirit world is suddenly visible and everyone can see demons and angels as real?).  Are there other belief systems that have successfully resisted oppression too? 

The key is to explore these options mentally, while striving to keep your own soul aligned with Source, so you have the inner nudges and knowings helping you.

In anesthesia, we ponder what could happen during patient care, and mentally go through the steps of how we could manage each 'problem'. We don't need to go to this step, not yet. But do know we are complex, multidimensional beings, and are the perfect solution to any 'problem'. Just get an idea of the scope and scale of what our times presents to us. And be ready to listen to any call to action if need be, in your area...

clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,



Ross and Carla

The Couple

Friday, October 29, 2021

How Am I Going To Live?


Last night, as I was falling asleep, I was resting my head on Ross' chest, and a thought of horror overcame me. With trepidation in my heart, I sincerely asked him, 'How am I going to Live in the times of the AC?'

I felt so dirty, so icky, to be around under the reign of such a monster. And already, since April of this year, he has been calling the shots from behind the scenes. And he isn't a seducer/enticer like Jezebel who makes you want to do what she wants. He just forces people and kills those who resist without batting an eye...How could I even be on the planet at the same time as someone like that?

Much to my surprise, Ross answered my question.

First, he said, 'you will need to be self sufficient. VERY self sufficient'.

I understood this to mean not just food and water, but even communications and news. We won't be able to communicate easily like this. And the news is going to be even more, 'intrusive' than it already is.

And he said, 'you will have connections.'

And I fell asleep.

I woke up to an angel telling me that there would be a miracle from Ross. A gift from Ross. In my day. I just had to go and find it. 

This is the kind of encouragement my teams give, to help me be engaged in my Life Purpose while I am here. 

I don't want to take to long, and I certainly don't want to put any pressure, but I'd like to add a little to the 'repent' topic from yesterday. 

In the days of Noah, everyone, literally everyone around besides him, did nothing all day but think evil thoughts. 

Noah was outnumbered.

Same thing with Lot, in his days.

Even if you read the book of Tobit, when Archangel Raphael was under cover, Tobias kept Raphael the mystery traveler in his house as a guest, to protect him. Sinners yelled outside from the street asking Tobias to let his guest outside so they could rape him. Tobias said, 'I'll give you my daughter, please, spare my guest.'

I might have my stories mixed up a little. It's early. But the point is, that God, on a bigger level, keep score when things get like this. He/She keeps score against the sum total of cities, or nations. And takes action against cities ( can still see the area now with the salt pillars), nations, and in Noah's time, all of creation. 

It is possible to intercede on behalf of your city, or nation. You pray, 'Oh God, I am so sorry that all this is going on here where I am. It's horrible. I don't like it and I'm sure you don't like it too.'  and you can pray for the conversion of the sinners. One prayer we Catholics did for a long time, along with our Rosaries, was for the conversion of Russia (back to Christianity). I think it's not illegal now, I hope it worked?

We have a lot of well-meaning people, running around Earth, doing their 'own thing', and are being egged on and encouraged to 'do what thou wilt'. 

Thoughts are things. They really are. They float around in the ether and clunk against one another and MEAN something. They aren't hidden like they are to the living.  

Can you imagine the clashing that's going on 'up there' with all this conflict of thoughts? It's worse than the plastic in the ocean that makes an eighth 'continent'.

So, work on your thoughts. Keep them loving and true. Let fear and anger flash through your consciousness but be like an impartial observer to them and don't let them control you. Keep your 'pollution' like a totally empty recycle bin with just a little in it. 

Then, if you can, add thoughts to the whole, for healing the whole. Bringing things in alignment with the original pristine blueprints for Earth and the Earth School. 

When things are horrifying to you, because of sin, tell God about it, and ask it to change! 

There are many innocent children who have been hurt in very bad ways. Ask for them to regain the freedom which is everyone's birthright. Sin against children is a very big thing that has gone on while humanity has basically been asleep at the wheel...

There is sin against the environment, sin against the common people (they are lied to), sin of omission (neglect) for those who are vulnerable.

If you take the ten commandments, and the Golden Rule, you can see lots of areas where in general people including us fall short. But we can keep trying to make ourselves and the world a better place. Not just in 'wishful thinking' but in actual action through thoughts and prayers which are powerful 'things' in their own right. 

This is enough for today.

Our blessings are with you!

clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,



Ross and Carla

The Couple 

Thursday, October 28, 2021

The Battle Of Armageddon


Think about it. You, by virtue of being born, are conscious and alive to see the biggest battle ever! 

In the one corner, we have the master of Darkness, with all his military prowess, and all of his minions. Would he be willing to sacrifice the more 'bloodthirsty' faction of his own warriors on his team, to promote the other faction to the forefront?  With the 'other faction' being 'those who seem less insane' to the masses?



If the goal is to win souls, and to control everything, and further, prove 'God is a liar and throw God out of Heaven' (his words, not mine)--anything goes.

In the other corner, we have all that is Right and Good. Outside of 'this existence', the battle outcome is known, the only thing that exists is Love.   Why is there even a fight, so to speak, yes?

But in this corner here, we have Michael the Archangel, valiant, courageous, and a demon-slayer. Literally. There is Our Lord and Savior too, who has his own moves and plans that sort of go 'under the radar' but are highly effective, especially in places of great repression. For example, in China and in Afghanistan, the 'house Christian' churches are growing faster than anywhere on the globe.  People are being martyred for their faith. It's really happening. 

Who will betray who?

Who is going to play what role, what part, in the Liberation of Earth and her People?

If suffering comes to your door, how are you going to respond to the challenge?

In Rome, people had to 'make burnt offerings' to the Roman leadership (human/Gods).  Many Christians did what they had to do to save their lives, and yet, they lost their souls in the process. Others volunteered to die for their beliefs. Some fled the area, and lived in caves in hiding from the evil government.  St Cyprian of Carthage had to decide who was still Christian and who was not after Rome fell.  (it's not a popular video on YT, by the way). 

Western culture is by nature, flawed and manipulated by outside forces.

Warnings for preparation in body and soul are being given. 

Outside it looks like a typical, sunny, Southern California day. I requested the day off, to rest. My chest needs a little TLC. But today looks totally, totally normal. 

The energies--and I really am blessed to be able to sense the energies--are both wholesome and healing on the top layer, with sort of uncertain 'footing' underneath, kind of like being on thin ice with lots of activity going on just under the surface. And unfortunately, I can't see or sense what that activity is.  Internally, I am calm, and trusting. Slowly I make attempts 'forward'--making appointments as best as I can, making lans, and keeping up with housework.  Nobody knows when or how any 'changes' will hit. 

I was happy to do a reading for a friend, and also, to receive an order of new crystals. I am comfortable with the Unseen. And I know, in my back pocket, things that work against the Darkness--prayers--just in case anything like that comes my way. 

In the meantime, I keep working to grow and be a better person. THIS is what is meant by the statements to 'repent'. Be your best YOU that you can possibly be. Fix your bad habits. Love yourself. And love others. Find your talents, your gifts, and grow them as beautifully as you can. Set boundaries, if you need to. Learn to look for the gifts and blessings Divine Creator bestows upon us every day. Be 'mindful'--with your heart and mind connected to what is Right and True, and Real--unconditional Love.

Walk the walk.

All blessings are with you!

Who knows what is going to happen?

If you look at history, humanity has been through SO much!!

The Dark ones 'hand' and 'battle style' are pretty obvious once you know how to look for it.

But the other 'hand', the not Dark one? That is yet to be seen!

It's going to be an excellent competition and battle to save souls. 

clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,



Ross and Carla

The Twins

Wednesday, October 27, 2021

A Difficult To Understand Gift


Today we invite you to join us, as we discuss some increasingly obvious, but nonetheless uncomfortable and inevitable truths...pull up a chair, take it easy, and let the conversation begin...

Albert Einstein--we think--once said, 'there are two ways to look at life. One is as if nothing is a blessing. The other is as if EVERYTHING is a blessing. Our conversation today focuses on our only thing we can control in our human experience...our attitude and our habitual reaction to events.

If we take a step back, and look at Hiroshima, Japan, the morning of August 6, it was a normal day. Totally normal and there was no reason to expect anything out of the ordinary. Then BOOM! 

What happened moments after the bomb stopped exploding?

Life went on.

The devastated people, did what they could, to care for the sick, identify the wounded and dead and missing, and rebuild. 

What happens where there is a death in the family? For example, with my mother or father, there was the phone call, the visits, the saying goodbye, watching death happen, then the closure and the healing. It was horrible, painful, and yet, a part of life...

Why are we here?

Where is God, our Divine Creator, Mother and Father?

Why are we alive at this time? 

What is it between this world and the invisible one, and is this separation ever going to stop?

Besides when we die, of course?

We live in interesting times.

There have been many times before where people have believed the End of the World, or End Times, was here. And then--lo! and behold!--it didn't happen. 

The Bible accurately predicted, years and years ahead of time, about the rise of the Roman Empire. There are End Times experts who can interpret the signs and symbols in the Bible. 

What if the End Times are now? What does that mean? What does that mean to you? And what does it mean to the people who are running the world?

You see, there are three 'worlds'.  It's not just the world we see, and the world that's of Spirit that's in Heaven. In reality, there's an 'unseen' government/ruling class, who have most of the power, in addition to the world we 'know' and are 'told about'. 

There's the secrets.

Or, if you prefer, we can use the other world for secrets, which is 'occult'.

The Red Pill, is when someone learns about the presence of, and the true power, of the 'hidden' secret societies who run the world as we know it. 

The Blue Pill, describes those who are not yet aware of, or perhaps are in denial of, this secret society influence 'behind the scenes'...and that, perhaps, people who are 'famous' might not actually be who they present themselves to be, when they are away from 'the camera' and 'public view'.

The Black Pill, is the philosophy that it doesn't matter whether you take the Red pill or not, because no matter what, everything is set in motion, and there's nothing anyone can do about it.

Isn't the situation fascinating?

There are people who believe that someone is coming to save us. Either the positive military, of the seventeenth letter of the alphabet, or perhaps, benign extraterrestrials, who are waiting to come one the scene once our 'collective consciousness vibration' reaches a certain threshold...

There's NESARA, and GESARA, and all these hopes and promises...

But what about here and now?

Is the Mark of the Beast, as foretold in Revelation, connected somehow to a certain, um, mandate?

Who truly has our best interest at heart? 

How do we follow the money?

What we have are a people--humankind--who have the ability to co-create ANYTHING. We have a planet that has balanced ecosystems to support all kinds of life forms for perpetuity!

But there's some 'thing' OUT THERE, that wants us to forget about it. It wants us to get up, go to work, spend money, tune out, and go to sleep in order to repeat the cycle again. 

This THING puts poisons of all sorts, in the food, in the water, in the air, in our homes and buildings, to keep our population down. This THING believes not only it is the ranchers and we are the cattle, but that this THING can tell us how to think, and what to say, and how to feel.  Already mass media is good at telling us what to spend money on...and big tech is telling us what we can say, and what we can't...

It's like a ginormous game of tug of war, only one side knows the rules of the game, and they aren't saying it. 

Where does that leave us?

Well, we know enough that we can watch. We are alive, and can witness current events. We may or may not have been around in the times of Jesus. But if this is really true, the End of the Bible, Revelation, is playing out, we might get to see the return of Jesus. 

Which brings us to our next point.

The suffering.

The Bible says there's lots of people gonna die. If you read Revelation properly. It also says that Christians will be persecuted. Yes, like in the Old Days where things like being thrown to the lions happened. 

So, here you are, me and you, alive, aware, of the importance of Spirit, and Reiki, and the unseen. We know what manifestation is, and how it works. There are outnumbering us, the 'sleepers' if you will. Then, the very few, are the ones in power, as well as the ones who are wanting to assume their powerful positions one way or another to perpetuate the whole thing...

What can we do?

I think it's time to remember our teachings of Reiki, and let go of the outcome. Just like with a healing, we acknowledge there are many things going on with a client (or the world situation) that Spirit knows and understands better than us. So we let go, and let the healing flow.

This takes the pressure off of us to wake people up (don't ever teach a pig to sing, it annoys the pig).

It takes the burden of keeping up with the latest 'drops' and 'intel' off of our shoulders. 

It has been said in the Bible, that there's lots of people who can't understand God even when God is talking to them--in other words, some will see the writing on the wall, and others, no matter how much they are shown the same writing and wall, CANNOT see it. It just doesn't compute.

If I could add one more thing, perhaps what we can focus on, while we are here, is how incredibly lucky we are. I went to the store today, and got what I needed to get. I was able to fill up my tank with gasoline and drive to work. My skills were needed and I was able to work. Anthony, who has been sick, is back at school. And yesterday, I was sneezing like crazy with a nose like a running faucet, and today, I'm much better. 

Again, and again, God blesses us.

And today, at the store, there was an entrepreneur selling something nobody really needs--but if the SHTF (shit hit the fan) -- it would be nice. Inflatable mattresses for under sleeping bags.  I recognized the man is trying to give something to the world, to make a place for himself, so I bought two and two inflatable pillows. Because you never know. And, sometimes it's better to reward those who are working hard to make something of themselves.

Keep your personal connections strong. 

Today, when I came home, the gardeners were working next door, same as when I left, only, they had done a ton of work! It was a hot day. There was so much greenery a truck was piled high with stuff to compost. They are my gardeners too. I said, 'oh my God, you have been working hard all day! would you like some water?'

The boss said yes.

I brought disposable red cups filled with ice water. And in my pocket? Full sized candy bars. The son took two kit cats. The others took one Reese's each. They were happy and I felt good to reward them for a job well done. I have been giving the team small raises, and pay them more than the agreement two years ago. With inflation, I still come out ahead. I do what I can to help though. It's important to have that connection. Some months I can't give as much extra, because it's tight. But it's never less than the actual fee. 

You have your soul.

You have your impact on the world.

You have your connections.

Together, we are on like, a jumpy house inflatable trampoline when it comes to Earth and her people and her Creatures. 

This is unrestricted warfare, not only for bodies and property and borders, but for souls. 

Remember how incredibly fortunate you are to be aware of this.

The right word, said at the right time, is an apple of gold wrapped in silver. That's an old Jewish proverb. I enjoy it very much.

Be thankful you can be fully Present for your loved ones. Even if they never heard of the Red Pill, and fought you every mention of anything like it. 

We both know that when the truth comes out they are going to act like they are the ones who invented the Red Pill and awakened YOU, right? OMG. 

And if it's the Black Pill, or suffering, well, people are going to need someone to console them, and fortunately, we are awake in this too.

REALITY, is never far, and in truth, there is no sickness or death. 

When you can, fill up your own cup by taking time to Create. I made the Portuguese soup with Purslane in it again, and also, for the first time, coconut macaroons. One batch was a little overcooked, but still tasted good. Tonight it's stew, and hopefully, tomorrow night, pots de creme. 

Be good to yourself, and be constantly encouraging yourself. These are not easy times. We are here for a reason. Even if we might not remember it. Everything has a way of working itself out. 

Thank you for a wonderful conversation!


You are FREE.

Remember there is life outside the physical.

Love is all THAT IS.

It also is the Solution for Everything.

clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,



Ross and Carla

The Couple

Sunday, October 24, 2021

Have A Seat...


Let's chat over ice cream, shall we? It's Ross' favorite flavor...

Soon I will make breakfast for Anthony and me. I'm very thankful because a colleague is helping me today with my call. Yesterday I was called in as backup, and did three cases. 

This whole last week, I marveled at how fast time flew by. How there isn't time for any real chores or anything, just bare survival, and we ended up eating takeout a lot because I took Anthony to urgent care twice after work. The last time we waited two hours to see a doctor. We were glad because the time before that, it was a Physician Assistant, and SHE--although professional--was clearly working from a 'protocol'--checking boxes on the computer according to the symptoms to come up with diagnosis and treatment. 

Such is life.

Here is a nice message from John Smallman if you haven't seen it.

News has it Magenta Pixie is in hospital 'with a virus'. Please send healing to her and blessings. She's a presence that's not exactly 'under the radar' and she takes that responsibility seriously. She's taken a lot of flak, from 'the comments section' and I respect her for that. Always professional, no matter what.

Here is something that will blow your mind! Vanilla Ice Cream compared to Instant oatmeal for breakfast. One of my bariatric surgeons I worked with last week did a study/paper on something like that. Instant oatmeal actually isn't as healthy for you as you think. 

He spoke of the NOVA classification system for food:  original source here

His point is that original foods in original form are healthiest for us. Those are one level. The next level, I think two, is slight modifications to provide flavor, such as olive oil and salt and pepper. Or drying fruits or herbs.

Level three is a food that's a little more processed.

And level four are the 'ultra processed' foods. I asked for examples, and he gave 'Ritz crackers' and things like that. It's the ultra processed foods that are causing so much weight gain and ill health. It was very insightful listening to him. 

What else has been going on? I've been listening to the weather. As Ross says, 'you like to tune out, don't you?' I enjoy hearing it, because it's actual information that's free from bias, and a cheerful voice delivers it. I have either silence in the car, or the weather, unless I'm close to home, and I turn on music in case Anthony and I get back into the car to go anywhere. I don't want him to think I'm weird lol.

How's work? Well, Covid numbers are way down. Not zero. But way down. All the restrictions are still way UP. I am in N-95 the whole day, and testing twice weekly. I felt sorry for the doctor at Urgent Care. She wears a small green N-95, and her hospital didn't have her size. Even during Covid surges, and she is on the front lines in the clinic. She actually used to work in private practice/hospital at a sister hospital for twenty seven years. It's financially impossible now to run your own show around here, for primary care. Specialties, yes, but not primary care. Especially with angry people giving bad yelp reviews. 

I'm grateful for my masks that fit.

I needed them yesterday. I was exposed to crypto coccus and tuberculosis during procedures in the OR that had them flying all over the room. I wore a face shield for the TB. Even though it was AFB negative three times, that's for quite breathing. Not coughing and spraying all over the room from a procedure in the airway.

I changed to clean masks after each case.

My garden, my home, show a little neglect. Ross counseled me to 'conserve my energy'. I'm on duty still, and through the week. I have so much more compassion for myself, while Anthony was four until fifteen, and I was working full time. No wonder why I'm so tired and wanting to retire! Reiki has been a good thing, and it's helped us all so much, and also, created a wonderful supportive community.  I don't know how I did it, everything, writing in the early mornings and driving everywhere and coordinating who would pick him up from work and taking call...

I have insider information on the Baldwin set thing. No one had been paid on the set for three weeks (weekly pay is normal). Almost everyone walked off the set, all the union people, due to concerns for this and lack of safety. It was non-union replacements there, except for the two who got hurt. 

Remember Svali. She says how people in what she escaped are highly proficient in guns and weaponry. Children from a very small age are taught how to use guns, as well as how to kill. They lead dual lives and don't even know it. At night they get the call and are programmed to show up for 'practice' in what Svali described as 'her real life'. The reason is to plan for End Times programming and to execute that programming (often called Alex programming). 

If in Hollywood, big famous stars are in the whatever million club (like Kanye, who had to make a 'sacrifice') and they have done that be be big players. 

So the data doesn't add up. 

That being said, my dear friend from elementary school, said that everyone deserves compassion. Just because of Mr. Baldwin's politics, or (I add, 'upbringing'), remember we don't agree with their 'philosophy' but we have prayers and love and refrain from judgement because we are aware that he, too, is human, and going through something awful, and have respect and love and prayers for the families of the injured ones too. 

Ross says not to gossip.

He says that the Baldwin stuff is okay.

And the Magenta Pixie too.

I was hoping Boston would go to the World Series. I don't like Houston's baseball team. Not since they cheated. Anthony says Boston cheated once too. But Atlanta originally WAS from Boston. They were the BakesBeans or some other weird names and in 1965 or 1966 went to Atlanta. It's sad for the Dodgers. But since I'm neutral for Atlanta, and there is the random Boston tie I'll cheer for them. 

Ross wants me to explain how I'm on 'cruise', to 'conserve my energy'. Today I paid my bills, so I don't have to worry. I'll make breakfast. My bed is unmade. He wants me to take a bath later, the heat is good for me. I've cared for the pets--feeding them. I hope to plant shallots and garlic but that might have to wait for tomorrow. I brought mail into the house, but I kept my paper sorting protocol with the filing, so there's no new 'pile'. I'm always listening to Ross, and checking in with him, to make sure I'm doing what is best at any given time.  I try to stay home and not drive if possible. And I wait for the week after next when things are better.

I have one small project to complete, fortunately there's no pressure, it's a report from a reading. 

Then I'll have Astrology and Sicilian to catch up on. 

I'm kind to myself. And I know my true friends, understand my schedule isn't really my own, and I'm grateful for this.


Carla has been doing a lot of growing! Especially around sleep. Not only is she going to bed earlier than before, and sleeping in later, she is taking naps in the hammock in the sunshine because she knows that's good for her too.

She was doing a few exercises in the morning, but now with the pressure and time constraints that's difficult. So she lets it go.

She knew in her heart, yesterday she was meant to be there with those patients and those surgeons. And she braces herself for whatever happens next with her remainder of her work schedule in this 'busy work week'.

We send you love and joy, it's free, and it sends well with little packaging : ) (he's teasing us on our 'modern lifestyles').

clap! clap!

Aloha and mahalos,



Ross and Carla

The Couple

Thursday, October 21, 2021

Would You Like To Play A Game?


Anthony and I have been feeling a little under the weather this week. He has a cold, and possibly a sinus infection. I took him to urgent care. They tested him for both covid and influenza--negative on each.  But the malaise and myalgias are real, and we have both been sleeping a lot.

We also have been watching more TV.

Someone said somewhere that there is a slow, steady assault on American principles going on 'out there'.  

I'd clarify it and to say it's against 'Judeo-Christian' principles. 

We are in times of great change. 

To keep abreast of the controversy, we watched Dave Chapelle. He's kind of funny. But last night I was ashamed of the filth I allowed into our home. It wasn't right, the things he said, and I was cooking dinner. I wasn't sure if it was a 'guys' thing, and I was being sensitive. But it wasn't right. I don't want those words in my home.

We watched the preview for the game about you know, things with tentacles that swim in the sea? 

After all my occult studies, I knew it was art imitating reality. Yes on one hand it's an oblique view of the credit rating/citizen scores in a country which borders Korea. You can see the 'permission' in the part at the beginning where the contestants are told they can stop if they want to not play the game. 

Totally Luciferian, like that, the 'uniformed consent' that's more a lip-service than anything.

At work a neuromonitoring tech and a sales rep for the spine equipment used in surgery were talking about it. They were horrified. She actually had to soothe herself by watching Mamma Mia (ABBA is her comfort zone).  

I smiled and said, 'Luciferians have been hunting humans like that for all history'.

I got glassy eyes from both of them, as if I didn't even speak. 

If you'd like to see for yourself, here is a PDF, you don't even have to buy the book:  Kerth Barker.  This is the book I learned from The Black Child (used to be on YouTube before the Illuminati came after him).  In this book (make sure kids can't read it)--there's the hunting, the betrayal, the behind-the-scenes insight to what actually makes world events happen, and how insidious it is to detect for the average person even if it is going on right in their own family grandparent-grandchild under the parent's noses...

I add it because the Ghost Hunters episode came on, and Anthony was just thrilled to see it. He and his dad watch it. It was about a home in Erie, Colorado. You could see there was some kind of entity attached to the son. There was no light whatsoever in his eyes. That's always a good tipoff. But it was a little TOO explaining of the Satanic in that episode for me. There was an exorcist, and I'm pretty sure he was Orthodox Catholic. That was fascinating to see him in action, and to hear him command out the demons in Jesus' name. 

There are many games going on right now. I don't like to play games. There's politics. There's 'Maxine' and the illness. There's freedom. There's changing social constructs. We are in the games. And they are built by the people Kerth has survived--being victimized by them since before he was born. Ross and I provide the link to his book, so you can see for yourselves the games that are being constructed all around you, and the rules are fuzzy and unclear on purpose, and the overriding 'theme' is depopulation. And enriching the few. 

The reason these times are so sought after, for souls to incarnate, is that people are starting to figure things out. 

Remember when push comes to shove, Love Is The Solution For Everything. 

I know it's a crazy context--in the middle of the equivalent of Spirituality on 'Halloween mode' around us--it happens to be the perfect fertilizer for a Grand Awakening. Just like Saul and Jesus have been saying for years on John Smallman.

It's all one big giant Squid game--the poison in the food, the water, the air, the viruses, the politics, the attack on the family and God's creations. 

We are bigger than that.

Hold on to Love. 

Even if your ship is sinking.

Because in the afterlife, Love is all there is, and ever shall be. 

Stay true to Love.

And know you have both of our blessing.

clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,



Ross and Carla

The Couple

Wednesday, October 20, 2021

A Meditation


We would like to share with you a meditation Carla learned from Spirit.

You imagine a glass dome, like this bell jar, shown, over your loved one. You concentrate and fill it from the bottom up with unconditional love/Light from Heaven. 

When it is full, you place the bell jar over someone else.

You also say, at the beginning, that this person will be so filled with love and respect for others that nothing can come out but love and respect for them, and that others be so filled with love and respect for your loved one, that nothing can come out but love and respect for others. 

You also ask for the White Light of Protection to be placed around, for example, your car, your home, yourself and your family.

Carla has advanced this dome meditation to placing it over the entire house, and little 'bubbles' come off around the inhabitants when they walk out the door.

She also is doing this not only for family, but for friends, neighbors, coworkers too.

The more protection the better.

These are uncertain times.

Do this meditation in the morning right before you get out of bed. That is when it shall be most effective.

clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,



Ross and Carla

The Couple

P.S. Can this dome be placed over your 'enemy'--even though there is no such thing as enemy in the Higher Realms? Why yes, yes of course. And this is highly effective at helping them find the road too healing. 

Thursday, October 14, 2021

Life Is Good!


Here is a really nice video. I listened to it yesterday while I did the dishes. There were a lot of dishes to do, and then to make dinner. He brings up some excellent points. I smiled. It validated me for working less and having more time for my home.

I make progress. I shredded lots of paper yesterday, and am looking through the home seeking more 'piles' of 'papers' to make address. 

When I'm not working, I'm adapting to a new routine. I make my bed, and Anthony's. It's nice to have a mother's touch. It always makes me laugh how the top sheet manages to be on the floor or behind the bed for him. The covers are just fine and in their normal place. I remember when he was a baby how I'd wake up through the night putting blankets on him, only to find them kicked off and him cold a few hours later. 

I've accepted full responsibility for the home. I do meals, cleanup, take out the trash. Anthony, when pressed, explained he doesn't have time until the weekends to help out. It's true. He's busy. I know this doesn't sound like much, but if you consider the reworking of my expectations, my communication skills, my tendency to resort to feeling the 'victim', I'm making light years of progress.  I also see how the yard takes lots of time, as does the pets. 

Turtle was happy today. I found two slugs for her to eat. I saw that the substrate sticks to her mouth (alfalfa pellets) so I will go back to newspaper for her cage lining. It's that kind of real-time feedback I'm getting that helps me progress.

It's hard to explain it, but I'm now able to do things I want to do. For example, there was a lily plant I never wanted, in the yard, crowding out my pink lemon tree. I just dug it up. It wasn't easy. There were scary spiders on it. But I worked hard and got it out. Why? Because I didn't want it there. No guilt. No rationalization. No looking back.

Today I start work at twelve thirty. Kind of strange, isn't it? We had a zoom meeting online for the department of surgery at 0730. So all the cases were pushed back. Our last meeting was July 8, and fortunately, I was present for that one too. We need to be present for two a year to be considered 'active staff'.

I write about me because it's the only thing I can control. 

Everything else 'out there' is kind of cuckoo, to be honest.

This video helped me a lot to get perspective. These truly are the end times. I don't know if you heard the tragedy that befell Jessie Czebotar.  She dropped a name on one video, and she never does, except for the same ones usually. I had a bad feeling there would be repercussions. She is stepping away for a while but has her resolve stronger than ever. 

This is how they work. The dark ones. 

But I read 1 John 2:9--he that saith he is in the light, but hateth his brother, is in darkness. 

It hit home. 

She loves those who tormented her, and she loves Jesus. She took her entire bloodline of Mothers of Darkness and gave it to Jesus' feet as an offering to Him. 

It's a Spiritual war. Anything can happen. But that being said, things like Kyrie Irving, or the letter Patricia Lee, MD wrote to the heads of the FDA and CDC are very encouraging. I read the letter (you should look it up!) and I see an ICU doc unwilling to make the connection that this in and of itself IS proof of Agenda 2030 and the Georgia Guidestones. It's bioweaponry, unrestricted warfare, and depopulation. Ben Fulford kind of helps a little to keep the immensity of the scope of the situation in mind. Fortunately, Our Father has everything in control. And it's time to wake up some souls. Not through the mind. Not even through the emotions. Because the MSM has control of that on just about everybody. It's through the direct aura-to-aura transmission that makes it possible.  Keep your energy UP. Keep your connection to Source strong. And 'spread it around' everywhere you go.

That's all there is to say for now. 

Ross and I always love and bless you!

clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,



Ross and Carla

The Couple who are sending Reiki and Divine Peace Healing far and wide daily. And we thank you for spreading the healing where you are too. 

Tuesday, October 12, 2021

The Council Meeting, The Message, and the Dream


Something happened in the realm of Spirit, and I wish to record it for posterity.

Yesterday, I was home. The electrician had just left. Anthony was swimming at practice because it was a school holiday. I was called to a Council meeting.

As I arrived, Michael greeted me. He looked a little taller and more formal than usual. All the Council was seated. I had trouble seeing everyone clear from across the room, like I usually can. So I stopped by each person, and acknowledged them personally. Until I got to the one, at the far right end.

He was very dark. Not exactly in energy, but lower vibration than I am accustomed to. His hair was very dark black, straight and cut simply. His skin was very pale. He was a cross between something like a Christopher 'more cowbell' Walken, and actually more like Mr. Feltman, my classmate Joyce 'Peanuts' Feltman's father who was a bookie in North Long Beach.  Kind of a nervous energy to him, and very reserved when you spoke with him.

I smiled and asked him what his name is? 

I heard something I couldn't quite make out. It sounded like Tom but I was told by Michael to call him 'Bob'. So I did.  I was very gracious, and asked him how he was, and how could I help him today?

I was asked something about the current situation on Earth. 

What do I want to do about it?

I put the Earth into one of these, with lots of bristles inside and water, and I cleaned it. I showed him how all the dirt came off the little holes, and it was shiny bright and clean again.

He looked at the same time like he understood and yet he didn't want to understand. 

He asked, well, what about (it's forgotten now, but it sounds like the ancient practices/knowledge/that sort of thing). 

I'm fully aware of the purpose of the flood of Noah, to rid all that from the earth. It failed once and we aren't in a really good place.

So I took the earth 'golf ball', and repeated the gesture, this time having all the 'old teachings' of Baal and that kind of stuff wash off, and go into the water, and then with a little bit of concentration and focus, I made it all disappear forever, as if it had never existed at all. 

At the same time, I showed him the clean, shiny new earth, and said, 'how else can it be able to support the new energies of Heaven which are coming soon?'

Bob looked defeated.  He was polite, he was quiet, but I could tell he wasn't happy with the answer, but he had to follow my wishes because in this circumstance my wishes had a little more weight than they usually appear to have. 

Cobra sent this message in Italian:  Isis has her crown.

I didn't think anything of it either.

But last night, I was dreaming.

I was riding in the countryside, in an open carriage.

It stopped by a big passageway, and next to me was a huge wall. 

There were very old, like, 1970's style, pink tulle and white lace curtains blowing in front of the wall. Back and forth. It looked kind of hideous, but, in my heart, I thought, it was appropriate somehow, and I said to the people that this is perfect until the next step is due. We didn't have to change it now just for me.  Actually I rather liked it.

I still didn't think of anything.

But then, in my dream, I was practicing dance steps.  

I was being told to step this way forward and then back, and then turn.

But it was when I saw my dance partner, who I didn't really recognize, but he was tall, and he was to my left, and he was practicing the same steps, for his turn and I just stood there...then he finished and reached his hand for me, and we were to dance our dance together...

Then in a flash, I understood.  I recognized him with my heart. 

This was more than a dream.

We were going to dance this dance in front of people.

There was going to be a celebration.

And he was a King.

And I was his woman. 


That's why I wanted to remember this always.

I haven't had nice dreams like this in ages. 

I am so tired of the past council meetings that didn't accomplish things.

This one did.

I pray for good things for everyone to flow from these new energies which are due to arrive...and for the preparation and the celebration to go exceedingly well. <3

I look forward to a time of much happiness and joy.

clap! clap!

Ross seconds the message and looks forward to sharing our happiness and joy with you.

aloha and Mahalos,

Ross and Carla
The Couple who are dancing

Monday, October 11, 2021

Damned If You Do....Damned If You Don't


Most of the time we live in a hell of our own making.

I have.

I've wondered how my dreams have turned into nightmares--marriages that went south, careers/calling that took away sleep and free time, buying my first home and having it end up with cracks everywhere and neighbors who didn't respect my boundaries (parking space).

What I'm beginning to understand, is that there are 'other factors'.

Case in point, now Anthony drives.

That was a big responsibility and time constraint on me. It added on lots of stress. 

Just like that, the stress is lifted. I don't have to do all the driving for the family any more. 

If I look to the past, I see how the lack of time (and energy) affected the external manifestation of my mind (my housekeeping). 

But I also--looking back--can understand the influence of PTSD, that dopamine hit when I buy something, being an emotional buyer/hoarder, and not having the skills to organize and STAY organized.

I know I'm in good company. The Fly Lady had a nervous breakdown and needed therapy, and that's how she came up with her 'system'. Unfortunately, her 'system' works for stay at home moms like her. People with consistency in their schedule. 

So instead of feeling bad, I understand, and I give myself a little 'slack', because I've been doing the best I can with what I have been given.

Yesterday, I was able to face my paper clutter with confidence and peace. It took more than Marie Kondo. It took some videos from people I trust. And I understand that without a filing system/management plan, it's hard to stay without the clutter. I have bins and trash bags--labeled 'action', 'file', 'trash', 'recycle', and 'shred'. I put a nice video on the computer and got to work. When it was time to stop (before I used to push myself to finish), I was able to stop like the lady on the video said, and I knew I'd be able to get back to it again. 

I found this, personally, very helpful.

Even if you sign up for things in a past life or pre-birth, it's painful to know there are such lessons.

For me, I found it freeing to call it 'an accident'. That's what my mom told me often. She called it 'wrong place wrong time'. And the test for it, is, would it have happened to anyone else in your place besides you? You weren't singled out. You were just the easy target at the time.

Remember, the best revenge against any attacker, is going on and living your life with joy and purpose!

Here is something funny:  even the Schumann resonance 'broke'...there was a gap in the recordings.

So, long story short, sometimes, internal changes need time to heal. Sometimes our way of perceiving things needs to take a 'back seat' to what is, and if we go along with our life's daily duties, we will realize and appreciate our journey so much more for what it is.

For me, I'm enjoying getting my life back. I worked hard to keep my family in good it's time to address the clutter (I have two weeks with not much work, followed by two weeks with more work). And after the clutter, I can work on my many interests. 

Where is Ross in all this?

I spend time talking to only him. Daily. And he reassures me and says not to worry, he says to relax. I see him clear, clear enough to see his expressions on his face. And I reassure him that no matter what is going on in the world, I TRUST HIM.

If you follow Ben Fulford, in about one week from today, all the loan extensions and grace periods for the corporation that runs our country the USA--financially--expire. 

Anything can happen.

What's most probable is some false flags--serious ones, a lot of fear broadcast (to manipulate those who don't understand this is a huge set up and everything is a set up designed to bring in the NWO), and maybe some 'fireworks' from 'the unexpected opposition'. 

The point of today's blog post, is lots of times we forget, that what is going on inside--is deeply connected to what's going on outside of us. It's the energetics. So, instead of feeling passive and defeated when you watch something and are 'informed'--perhaps it might be worth your time to focus on what is 'on your plate' emotionally, spiritually, inside your 'Sphere of Influence'. 

Sometimes, if you have outreach like Ross and I have, you might need to 'step back a little' and again, get your inner world 'straightened out' to your new comfort level. It's okay to take breaks. Even the Schumann resonance does!

This is an interesting article about our current situation written by a psychiatrist who was the only one who spoke up against frontal lobotomy and electroshock treatment in the seventies. What courage it took, to take on an entire specialty of psychiatry--and turn it around! 

We might not be like him, but as we walk our daily routines and paths, remember we are keeping our connection strong to Spirit, and trusting in the Higher Plan for Everything. Listen to your angels. Listen to your heart. And use your mind to discern, discern, discern always!

clap! clap!


Anthony came home from a water polo team-building activity. 

It was at the Lake where Carla used to be a member.

That's what got her to stop on the decluttering. 

She watched a football game with Anthony. The Kansas City Chiefs and the Buffalo Bills. 

There were two commercials that used the same house as a set. One had Jamie Foxx. The other she forgets. But she told Anthony--look! That house is the John Wick house! Isn't it?

Then there was a weather gap in the game. 

One of Anthony's favorite Saturday Night Live skits has to do with such a gap during the Super Bowl, and how the on-air people were running out of material to fill the time. It was tempting to watch real life imitate art in this regard.

Then he said, 'want to watch John Wick?'

So they did.

And the weather gap in the game was long enough for Carla and Anthony to watch an entire movie!!!

When it finished, they were able to go back to the football game, and watch the end of that. 

This I present to you as a magnificent example of 'going with the flow' and 'adapting to whatever will arise' and 'making the best of it' for a 'very enjoyable experience'. 

By staying absorbed in what is going on around you--from moment to moment--you will find a way to free yourself from the 'day to day' structure that is imposed upon us by the makers of 'news, weather and sports' and FREE yourself to enjoy everything--on YOUR terms, and nobody else's.

clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,



Ross and Carla

The Twins who have a lot of work scheduled in their house this week! (the electricians are coming back, and there is rat activity again up in the attic)

Friday, October 8, 2021

Halloween Guilt


Sometimes, after growing up Catholic, in an Italian-American home, my life seems to me like a merry-go-round of guilt. There are the ups and downs, but basically it's the same thing going round and round and round...

This week, I was able to try something a little different, kind of like choosing to ride on the monkey instead of the horse on the merry-go-round. 

I took care of me.

There was no work, no work to be had. I took my Sicilian class on Saturday, and I hadn't done the homework. (Looks like it's going to be that way tomorrow too).  I rested. Sunday too.

But Wednesday, I took care of four different much-needed tasks, three for me and one for my car. Can you believe it's been four years since I had my last mammogram? It was so long that my insurance company was going to pay me fifty dollars just to get it done. The reason? Partly the work schedule. But also, my OB-Gyn wanted me to go to another facility, and covid hit, and I just dropped the ball. I found another place near home and that was fine.

Actually, if you count the surveillance testing for work, and picking  up meds from the pharmacy, I did five things for me. 

I was tired at the end of the day. While I waited for the tires to be worked on I studied Sicilian.

We have a small project in the home. And it's taking some coordination on my part. And the workers yesterday, kind of got in over their head. They couldn't finish. They were like, 'we will come tomorrow'...I was like, wait a second, hold on there, I might have to work. 

The plumbers were to follow but couldn't because the electricians didn't finish too.

Right after I confirmed the time, after looking at the schedule and calling the lead one, someone high up on the call schedule called in sick--mom wasn't doing well. My boss called me and asked me if I wanted that shift...

...I paused a long pause and said the electricians are coming to the house. In the afternoon. I can work morning...

Our policy is that everyone moves up a slot in the event of illness. 

So all last night I tossed and turned, experiencing guilt.

Mind you, Marie Mbouni, MD, QUIT anesthesia forever, because they gave her an ultimatum--come in on your vacation or lose your job. She quit and after grieving, never looked back...

But you know what?

I haven't done that to people except for my operation.

Two operations in twelve years isn't bad.

My boss didn't work that day--he has it off today. I saw the schedule.

Nobody else 'stepped up to the plate' except someone who takes lots of calls for other people. 

I will work my morning and hopefully get my afternoon. 

I could have made more money, but I need the peace of mind...

Peace of mind?



My house is getting cleaner. And I worked hard, very hard, all day. My son was so surprised at his room he was like, 'mom this is like a different house!'  

It is.

So, I'm vulnerable right now, as I'm making progress. I understand about the PTSD and clutter. I know there's a dopamine rush when you buy something or open a box. But also, there's a counter effect--you get dopamine when the house is clean and projects get done. 

Dignity is the ability to own your 'process' and to put energy and effort into it--no matter what anyone else thinks. And after having the dignity to take care of some of my medical needs (the copayments are ridiculous, OMG, $$$$$)--I'm willing to cover for my colleagues to help them take care of theirs too. Once I'm 'set'. It won't be long to finish this project, and to coordinate the rest of my tests and studies and specialist appointment. 

I realize too that the garden takes time and work, just the same as the house. Now I can schedule time for both. 

Yesterday I cleaned all the bathrooms, dusted, swept the floors, did loads and loads of laundry (and put it away!), cooked, did the dishes, put clean dishes away...I was tired from the work, but grateful I did it. I replaced two burnt out bulbs in our night's the little things....

It is what it is, and when you own it, and you get off that merry-go-round, you can experience life without that same old guilt...


I want Carla to know that I love and tend to her. For all her earthly needs. Carla is learning to negotiate, and she is a little rough and weary of her first attempts. There are ways to get what you want, even with her onerous schedule at work. 

For example, she let the group know she had an appointment that's why she didn't pick certain rooms -- in the group text over the schedule. Then in the day, she asked a friend to trade places with her so she could go. Everyone understood that whether you go or not, you have to pay full price, for some appointments.

Her meeting was with Tim Braun, the medium. It had been two years since she had gone to him. 

Her mother came through, and it really helped Carla with the mourning. She knew it was her mom and not Tim, because he offended her (again, she never really liked him) and she got quiet during the session. He was talking about her having natural charm, and she could have used it to get what she wanted (bad, selfish use) but she didn't act like that, she was just charming and enjoyed the perks it brought naturally. This actually was a compliment, but she didn't like Tim, when he told her she had only so many years left...and again, he hurt her feelings with his judgement of her. 

People are people! No matter whether they are in body or not. And whether or not they reach 'enlightenment'. 

It's all good.

Do what you can, and then recharge and rebuilt.

Tell yourself always, 'this or something better' when you ask for your needs to be fulfilled.

clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,

Ross and Carla
The Couple