Sunday, January 31, 2021

Knowing In Your Heart


Good morning! I am post the Covid Intubation Call. Yesterday there was not much activity. I stayed in the room. I counted how many patients, we are back to one hundred from seventy. But I see down in the basement near the cafeteria, food services and the call room, many empty beds lining the hallways, and an absolutely forest of empty i.v. poles. Hopefully these are all rented and ready to return and hopefully, hopefully they will no longer be needed. Most of our patients are in the regular floors (wards) and the ICU's are having fewer and fewer patients. 

Lately I have been on an 'acquire information' trend. I'm reading, lots and lots of reading. And praying too. Yesterday I read part one of a three part series End Time Disciples Book One.  I bought it on Amazon. I'm not saying the author's name, because he's censored. I also read half of HIS KINGDOM COMES IN POWER: THE BATTLE , also available on Amazon. The last one I can't look at the face on the cover, it bothers me. But she's a controversial soul--from her past--I've been watching lots of videos with her. When you watch a video it's harder to think critically, we are trained to just relax and go with it. But I do. She is the one who recommended the last book. And in that last book, I learned that if someone is unable to SAY these words:  Jesus was born and became flesh, he died for our sins, and rose from the dead....--then they aren't from our Team. 

What I'm going to discuss next is how the end part of that book needs a little disclaimer/softening/explanation. I've spent a lot of time in prayer and meditation on it. So for what it's worth...

Jesus healed the sick. 

In the Bible there were many who were prophets.

People like Moses were able to connect with The Divine, and lead the people. 

We feel Reiki when it flows. We have a sense for Spirit. We are here in a duality where everything is black or white, good or bad, chocolate or vanilla.

Well, in my opinion, there is a third option--for sake of argument, let us call it the 'chocolate-vanilla swirl', that extra spout on the soft-serve yogurt where both flavors come out at the same time together. 

Let me add to this that Jessie C said that no matter how the mind may split, there is always One HEART in a victim of MK Ultra or SRA. One HEART. 

We know we are here to have our Hearts and Minds working together as students on Earth. It's not all one or the other. It takes time and practice to develop an accurate sense of Discernment. 

The book by Rebecca Brown, just like a phone call with Cisco Wheeler scroll down to the bottom link on Halloween, takes a strong stand against anything occult. With good reason. They have seen the worst of the worst, and want to distance themselves as far as possible from it. 

We each have our own soul, and our life lessons. I remember being four years old, standing in front of the fuchsia bush that was taller than me, and thinking how I wanted to know everything there was to know about the plant world and to heal people with it. I was so young, I was completely, totally, innocent. It must have been a past life perhaps? Or part of my calling?

Freeborg (formerly Lisa) and Doreen Virtue recently went through a huge purge of all they had once worked with. This is in alignment with Rebecca Brown. However, Free came to the realization that we are Spiritual beings, and a lot has to do with the motivation behind use of the Tarot. In some cases, it is possible to use the tool, in complete and total alignment with Jesus and our Team. 

This takes us back to the days of the mystery schools. And to the Christians who influenced Kerth Barker, the hidden ones who were adept at the Spiritual gifts. If you read his books you will understand that there is a very secret group of mystical Christians. They are very secret because they are the target of attack by darker sects.

In my Reiki training, my teacher Anne was very strict about our being taught to 'let go of the outcomes' when we do Reiki healing. Spirit knows what to do, just let go, because Reiki has intelligence, and it will go to where it is needed most. Healing can be in body, mind and soul. Even if we can't tell a healing has taken place, trust that it has. Be the conduit. That's it. Let the healing energy flow through you.

As I sit here, typing, I have Buddha and Kuan Yin and a mermaid to my right, In front of me a Lucky Cat, a Navajo turquoise pin, Aura Soma THE CHRIST Quintessence, a satyoka crystal blessed by Buddhist monks, and my favorite gift from a patient, a tiny clay Jesus in a manger holding a wand or rattle with a star on the end. The only thing missing, metaphysically, is the Kitchen Sink! LOL. I have deep respect and love for the traditions and the good people who sought to find a way UP and OUT from this Matrix. The vibrations are high, the intentions are high vibration, on the up and up. And as one who works with Spirit, my guides helped me find all of these things! 

The key is the test of Nurturing, Warmth, Love and Compassion. This is the vibration of Home, of Heaven. Do not throw the baby out with the bathwater! Always be mindful of the author, how they are writing it, where they are from, and their message. Mull over it and pray in your heart. Discern. 

Gosh, I just realized that discern has CERN in it. What a strange combination. For CERN is truly an abomination--like a Maxine what we are told it is meant to do, and what it does, are two totally separate  things.

Your call to action, and to Service, is to Love. And if crystals and tarot cards help you to do your assignment better and with more grace and ease, then, so be it. 

But if others are afraid--they have experienced darkness and like Cisco--know the slippery slope of how things have 'two meanings' and want nothing to do with what traumatized them--honor them. Respect their wishes. Don't try to convince them you are harmless and these are harmless and defend your position. Drop it. Let it go. Pray and LOVE. Find a common bond. And PRAY! 

This is the original blueprint for students on Earth.

Learn to love.

Love to learn.

About everything.

Be thankful.

This is all there is.

Ross wants me to provide some videos as a P.S.  He wishes to Speak now.


Carla is really warming up to me. She was talking to Creator and giving thanks for me. For all I do for everyone--even though she can't really understand it about the dying to save others part--and this she will plainly admit. She gives thanks that I am happy, and that there are no marks on me, anywhere, and I'm in good cheer. 

She loves to have me back.

I must say this tenderly to keep her from bursting into tears of the things she gives thanks for, about me, to Divine Creator, is that I don't seem to suffer from any mental traumas or spiritual wounds like any other human would who has PTSD or DID (dissociative identity disorder).  My mind is clear.

Carla knows me well. She has experienced overwhelming trauma herself in this life, and in other incarnations. And she hits the target in giving thanks for this--no apparent suffering in my psyche, even though I went through all that I did, and she was right there with me through all of it. 

I'll give Carla a few minutes to compose herself and catch her breath...

It's the children. 

Carla suffers greatly for the whole in what has been happening to the Children here on Earth. The hidden ones who are 'passed around like candy' and worse. She often asks me WHY if indeed I did die for all suffering has the suffering persisted everywhere she looks? What is the point, Ross? she asks me plainly, WHAT IS THE POINT?

This is where the End Times Disciples book comes in, and the work on Revelation by Pastor Nafty. 

Even when she reads that, she feels overwhelmed, and says, 'Ross this doesn't make sense to me, it doesn't make sense to me at all honey. Why can't I understand?'

So the answer I have, for her, and for all of you, is that everyone is looking from a different perspective. Some of you are human souls, been on earth forever, and are going to face the Awakening. Some of you have taken the Red Pill, and there are many layers to it so you are working through them--others, not so much. Perhaps you have been busy with the efforts to obtain food and shelter? This is to explain the 'general spectrum' of 'Consciousness' for it's not like a lamp where you flip a switch and it's either on or off. It's like a lamp that has a dimmer switch on it, yes? Can you see?

Add to the mix are the ones who follow the darkness and want to proceed forever although they are fully aware their time is near its end. Remember that these can quote Scripture just as well as others who do believe. So, Discernment always always always is key. And if you make a mistake? Well, if you fall off your bicycle, just get right back up and start riding it again. Think in your mind of the destination, how you are going to arrive there, and keep using whatever works. (he gestures with a hand as it on the road ahead but it's positioned like a karate chop hand and points forward with his arm).

Do not be overwhelmed about the need, there is healing enough for everyone who desires it.

Carla asks me how I can be white haired with fiery eyes and filled with Judgement? Like in the book of Revelation. She's like, Ross, I know you, what is all this?

Let me tell you, the story works, you are going to like it, even to the end, and not to worry. Take each day as it comes. And remember it is blessings that are given, and be very very glad for them! Blessings always surround you, even like the air you breathe.

clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,



Ross and Carla

The Couple who are on the High Road to Heaven


Friday, January 29, 2021

The Valentine


Yesterday was a long day on Covid call. I read an entire book the whole shift. And when I finished the book? That's when the intubation call was announced overhead: CODE 19 ROOM blah blah blah, CODE 19 ROOM blah blah blah, CODE 19 ROOM blah blah blah. 

I went as fast as I could.

I don't understand how the ICU charge nurses want me to walk through the entire unit to gown up and put on my PAPR. I went in and took it outside and put it on. The air outside doesn't have the aerosols the inside does, that's why THEY are wearing their PPE past those double doors. 

She also wanted me to wear a CAPR, not the full kind with the shroud. I like my neck and shoulders covered.

Everything went fine, my team is good, I'm blessed for that. And I tapped the patient on the shoulder and said, 'you're gonna be okay'. 

Actually, I've been tracking all my patients I've had to intubate. Not one has made it. Not one. They have had so much lung damage by the time I get involved the damage appears to be irreversible. But better to have a ventilator helping you get air, than to die of air hunger. I'm always praying for my patients, and I know Ross and our teams are going to take good care of them.

I drove home and picked up takeout. We are supporting local businesses on days I work. This was the only day for the week. 

Ross wants me to tell you the book I read. It's called, 'He Came To Set The Captives Free' by Rebecca Brown, MD. She's kind of like me on steroids. This book was written in 1986, too. It's absolutely fascinating, fascinating reading. I couldn't put it down. I bought it on Amazon.

Anyhow, once I got out of the car, I managed to carry both bags of food, my work bag, my pile of books and journals I read on call...and the keys to open the door.

I saw a single star, up in the clouds, and I made a wish. I usually never tell you my wishes, but since it came true, I'll share: I wanted to send Ross a Valentine. A real one. And with my heart, I kept it very simple, 'thank you for watching over me, I'm so lucky to have you and I love you very very very much.'

We had our dinner, I cleaned up (usually I shower first but I had changed all my clothing at work after the intubation), and I got ready for bed. Just as I was falling asleep, Ross asked me, gently, what is the hardest thing for me about our relationship the way it is with him 'up there' and me 'down here'?

I said it's hard to communicate my feelings, since here on earth, I would buy a card, write nice things, and send it to you, and you would open it. Now, I can't SEND you anything like here. There's no place for it to go, because it's in another dimension and frequency. So I feel sad because I don't know the ways you do that kind of Valentine up there, and the kind here doesn't work there.

Well...this morning when I was just about to wake up?

I saw my little red envelope going up and up. Ross made a point to show he caught it. I saw him open it. And I saw the smile, his beautiful, beautiful smile that comes from his heart and the corners of his eyes crinkled up. I don't know how it got to him, but seeing him hold it and open it made me fill with joy. 

I spent some time asking him questions. Ross is it true that in Heaven there is no pain?

There is no pain, he said.

Not even if you stub your toe?

Not even then.

What if you threw yourself off a tall building and splattered on the ground would it hurt?

Then Ross chided me for being ridiculous.

Ross? Is everyone in Heaven nice?

Everyone in Heaven IS very nice!

Ross, in Heaven can we do things we enjoy, more than here where we always have to focus on survival?

Yes, in Heaven, survival is not a struggle and there is much much more time to enjoy our friends and family and interests. 

I'm so glad there is Heaven. It's nice to know that at some point illness and suffering and pain will end.

This was us on one of our timelines, in our last incarnation together. There were more than one timeline we were on. I call this the Happy One. We both lived to a ripe old age...

By the way our Covid patients are down from one hundred ten to seventy. Our units are all full. And the two refrigerated trucks are still out in the back parking lot. California is now 'open' even though the ICU beds are less than they were when we 'closed' back in December. JP Sears has a hilarious video on Dictoator Gabin if you'd like to watch it. 

There's been steady accounts of people who have passed after Dance With Maxine Two. Like in days. Remember what happened to the monkeys in the studies of S. A. ARRRRR s One Maxines. Same thing. Hyper immooooon response. 

By the way, of the intubations I have been asked to do, all have been men. One was Latino. One was white. And the rest were Asian. I have heard there is a receptor in Asian Male lungs that the Wire-Us targets. That video by the doctor with the drawings shows you where it is in general, and imagine on that type two pneumocyte cell, a little 'handle' that is there only on Asian Males. It's the target. Others might have it too, but it's predominant there.


One day Carla and I will be riding off into the sunset. 

Until that day, Carla will remain at her post, and I will remain at mine. 

I love her. 

I love her with all that I am.

With my heart.

What we are learning through this mission, in addition to what has been assigned already, is how to translate that love into something tangible, with meaning for both of us across the veil. (he waves the red envelope and card). Carla has been conditioned that Love for something romantic and close, is sent by a card on Valentine's Day. 

Nothing could be farther than the truth in the world of Spirit! Love completely surrounds us and not all of it is romantic although some very special love IS. For us, why send a card? It's the thought that counts? Because in Heaven, thoughts everyone can see them/understand them/sense and feel them. I know that Carla loves me when the thinks of me in her heart. 

But for our relationship, Carla needs to 'see' me opening the card and reading is and smiling just as I would on earth. That way, Carla both understands and believes truly that I appreciate her love, and I do.

There was something Jessie Czebotar brought up yesterday that is important. Although MK Ultra survivors have had a split of the mind, even in these individuals there is still only one heart. And that heart, with the right support, can heal and recover, just as the mind heals and recovers, through my love and care and healing. So when you look at the masses of those who are asleep and under 'light MK Ultra mind manipulation'--remember that no matter how closed they may seem, they have only one HEART and the HEART will AWAKEN. 

Elaine in the book Carla read was a Bride of Satan. She was the top one. A very high functioning practitioner of darkness. When she was in ritual she was untouchable, and wore the very best, but in her day to day, sometimes she was even on welfare and none of her friends and family had a clue just how deep she was into the occult. There was a battle for Elaine's soul, and through the Grace of God she was won back to the Team of Heaven. Her testimony, and that of Rebecca's, is a powerful source of both truth and inspiration. 

Know your enemy.

He can't read what is on your mind. Only humans around the angelic frequency and angels can.

Here is the Schumann resonance frequency for today:

Enjoy your time on earth as it is in Heaven.

clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,



Ross and Carla

The Couple

P.S. tomorrow we will go over the place of Reiki and divination in a higher sense. Do not be afraid of the end of the book. I will explain it to you. You will feel it in your heart. 

Wednesday, January 27, 2021



This morning I listened to some more of the people I've been listening to, learning about how the darkness works, and how wonderful it is that God has found a way to set these captives free. 

But then, right before I needed to pick Anthony up from school, I felt an overwhelming need to cry. The realization of how Earth is such a horrible place of pain and suffering welled up from the depths of my heart. I set the timer as if I were to meditate, but instead of sitting I crawled into my bed and cried my eyes out to Ross, who I knew was there and was listening.

I just couldn't take it how animals eat other animals, I eat animals, people grow old and die, and there is all this organized systems of darkness that run everything here on the globe! How far could it possibly be from the original plan than this?! A place of pain and anguish and despair? I cried and I cried until I slowed down and I know from experience that there is something my guides DO, energetically, that help me to calm down when I get like that.

Ross spoke up, very matter of factly, and addressed my three points:

  1. With the animals, don't even worry about it. It's part of the plan because in dealing with the physical matter Earth needs to 'recycle herself'. Without it everything would not be able to 'go', and it is understood that most animals have a relatively pleasant life before their end. And for some beings they want to experience a little 'action' and it is written into their life script, either to be predator or prey. He encouraged me to let that one go. 
  2. The second part is that a large part of the lesson experienced here on Earth is 'to break', the concept of 'breaking' and not being able to 'fix' it--things grow old, and are replaced by the newer ones. Everyone who graduates from Earth is automatically experienced with this concept. 
  3. For those who are in the 'system' of 'darkness', who fixate on 'breaking' things against their will and causing untold suffering, the ones who go a 'little too far'...Ross had many things to say about this. The first is that the 'ringleader' by name is actually a 'teenager' soul, very much like those here on earth who are rebellious. But this one is unduly influenced by Archons. Initially the Archons were welcomed here on planet to do a function, but they started behaving badly. This is well known and everything is in control by our teams. It has to do with Divine Timing. But he said something that really, really inspired me a lot. He asked, 'what better way for the Glory of God to be known than by taking down those systems which are in place?'
I dried my tears, feeling much better, and went on with my day. 

I didn't think anything of it. Tonight we had Ardvark brand Drunken Jerk Habanero seasoning chicken. It marinated for three hours. You don't need much. It's a brand that has soy sauce, apple cider vinegar, habanero, and rum in it. I grilled it up to make street tacos with the little tiny corn tortillas warmed up. For accompaniment we had kale and arugula from the garden, with cut up leftover kabocha squash. It was spicy but not too spicy. For 'dessert' we had Sigi yogurts. 

But after I finished listening to the second half of the ex twenty two report (I usually play them while I cook dinner), our bible was there. I did a Bible study by myself. I asked God how am I going to keep going on, keep being strong, and find my way in these difficult times?

I was sincere, with open heart. 

I opened the bible to the beginning of Isaiah. But Ross pointed to a paragraph on the left. It was Song of Solomon, Chapter seven, and I read the whole thing. 

Spirit is real.

All of it, the whole thing.

With that chapter, I've read as a girl and hoped and dreamed and wished to find someone like those two in the Song of wasn't until now, with so many years under my belt, and my figure completely different from when I was young--that I felt so deeply loved and cherished by Ross. In partnership, we each look out for the other. I did so much of it in our past life, for him, that even now it took seven years for me to really accept that he is well-fed, well-clothed, and well-rested in the afterlife. Now he is showing how he cares for me too. 

He protects me like no other, all of my teams do, and for this I am filled with gratitude and love and appreciation. 

He gives me hope.

My tears were for all the children like Kerth and Cisco and Kathy who have suffered...especially the 'expendable' ones. I know with all my heart that my prayers and pleas for their suffering to end, and for complete and total healing to take place, are heard. God knows and hears my cries. 

God hears your cries too.


The experience of Spirit to a soul is highly personal. It is extremely close, and tender. There is counsel when like Carla at times it was needed today.

You can depend on it.

clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,

Ross and Carla
The Couple who are Forever Twenty One (He giggles)

Order Through Chaos?


Order through chaos is a spiritual concept.

Two days ago, when I moved a bar cart with vitamins and stationery and address books on it so Anthony and I could reach a battery that needed to be replaced, there was an avalanche of sorts all in the dining room. My raclette went flying and clanging, my gardening items I'd been saving went all over the place, and I laughed.

There was no other response to it possible than that. Whoever came up with the term, Order through Chaos must have known me well enough to know about my housekeeping, which has affected me time and again, incarnation after incarnation!

But even though tidiness is something I value, and no matter how hard it is for me to reach it, I keep trying. Yesterday I worked on a project Ross had told me to do, to tidy up the bathroom. So I had Anthony help me assemble a set of shelves, bookshelves. I couldn't do it alone. I actually assembled them backwards! The bracing wouldn't look right on the front lol. But I carried it/dragged it by myself to the closet, so I could put all of our medicines and remedies on it. Everything is grouped in little baskets by what they are designed to heal--we even have one for skin conditions like warts because once Anthony had a bad plantar wart that was very painful. 

On Mondays I clean bathrooms. We have three. I made it through one and a half. I still have to clean Anthony's and the rest of mine...

I've changed.

So many things that used to bother me, don't.

I've had three days with no work--it is what it is--and I try my best to limit my expenses accordingly. There's actually a fine balance between supporting local businesses as best I can, and limiting expenses.

Yesterday our state finally opened up from the Stay At Home order. I called the local hair cutting place and made an appointment for Anthony.

I've cut his hair for a year.

His cowlick had gotten the best of me. I watched every snip the stylist did through the window, learning from her technique. 

She was kind and said I wasn't bad, I had done a good job. But now his haircut was a little smoother and less chunky. I overheard a dad talking on the phone, talking about his daughter being so happy she could get a haircut she went running and jumping down the street shouting the good news! She was a grade school girl with long hair, but now the bottom ends were even and she was happy. A car came to pick her up and he went in for his haircut to follow hers. 

To help the business which had been closed for six weeks--I bought Anthony a shampoo, myself a conditioner, and I gave the stylist a ten dollar tip.

Covid has been a mixed bag. Working from home. Not being able to go to restaurants like before. The traffic has been light in the mornings, I've appreciated it. Instead of thirty minutes my commute to work has been twenty, and on the way home, thirty instead of one hour. 

It makes us appreciate the little things we once took for granted. Like haircuts, being able to go where you wish, and to look forward to being with family and friends.

Even funerals have been so awkward and difficult without the presence of loved ones to help with the loss.

Since I haven't been at the hospital for a while, I don't know what our numbers are. But when I was last there, it was bad, really bad, and the hospital was totally full. 

I kind of like staying at home. I don't have to wear a mask. I can enjoy being a mom. Yesterday while Anthony was at school, I did dishes, made banana muffins, made ranch dressing from the packet, made limeade from fresh limes. I picked him up--it's been cold lately--so I made grilled ham sandwiches and tomato/pepper soup for us. I had cleared up many of the boxes and put them in the bins. I even cooked some venison for dinner. It wasn't perfect, the courses didn't turn out so we could eat as a main course with side dishes. But the meat was good. Then by that time it was done, the rice was ready. After that the kabocha squash was roasted. 

My worms are extremely happy in the compost bins. We have two SubPod units with the metal raised bed around it. I put everything in there but dairy and meat. I have a bokashi for that--it totally doesn't work but I keep trying. It feels nice to have balance with that. My cabbage patch gives me great joy. I kept the stems after I cut the heads off last season. I didn't have the heart to pull them up and throw them out. And they have repaid me generously this season. I like to let things go to seed and see what comes up later. I have second crops of lettuce and arugula. Then my other gardening is from the tops I've saved from kitchen vegetable prep. The bottoms too. I have a beautiful celery growing up now from last year's 'rescue'. The rabbit enjoys carrot greens and I've regrown them from the tops many times. We even have two avocado teeny trees that have come up from the seeds. It's nice to let the garden work with you.

Is the world falling apart?


Is humanity being fed a lot of bullshit that is unsustainable?

I think so.

Signs point to YES lol.

Are we in End Times?

It's certain.

What can we do to help?

Ross REALLY likes it when I check in by meditating. I set the timer for fifteen minutes. I sat on the couch yesterday and closed my eyes and let go. We are talking more, he's talking, saying things like everyday things a couple would discuss--because I'm more consistent with this practice.

So meditate.

Pray, too. I pray all the time. And I ask for help with my daily things. With the big things. And the little ones. 

Keep your heart open.

I love to learn, so I study, and as I study I am learning more of the Spiritual War which is taking place. I gain appreciation for Ross and our teams, and what they do. I am grateful for this. 

Hope for the best, do what you enjoy...remember Order can come out of Chaos--any decluttering specialist like Mari Kondo will tell you this. Just watch and keep your eyes open for the Hegelian Dialect (Problem! Reaction! Solution!) Don't fall for it. That is how large groups of people get 'steered' by the few.


Carla is very beautiful. To me. And to my heart.

Carla listens. And she trusts.

Yesterday when I was holding her, Carla changed from her human form into a more 'Galactic' One. There was no body, like on earth. She had a perception of shimmering energy, that was made of many particles, and sounded like a rain stick to her when she moved. 

At first Carla panicked when she was aware of this transformation. But then, when she looked in my eyes, she let go of her fear, and said, 'the only thing that matters is that I am with you.' And she MEANT it. 

I explained to her more about her body. How it was to protect her, this form. Then she went back into her usual 'body' she has, which is an exact double of her Earthly one, that she uses in Spirit. 

I grow to love her more and more, in her unknowing, because it illustrates for us the complete and total depth of her Trust and her humble and pure love for all of Her Family in Heaven. 

Can you trust?

Will you trust, no matter what appears?

I counsel you, to ponder this, for some time.

clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,



Ross and Carla

The Couple 

Tuesday, January 26, 2021

The Medicine Cabinet


Last week while I was driving to work, the radio host was talking about a way to increase the value of your home if you are putting it on the market. She said to remove the medicine cabinet. Most new homes don't have one. If you have one in your house, it 'dates' it and people think that there are other things needing to be fixed elsewhere in the home.

My house doesn't have a medicine cabinet.

I actually was sad when they took it out of the old house to sell it. 

I like medicine cabinets.

But then I realized, in lots of TV shows, people who visit other people's homes were always snooping in the medicine cabinet!

People don't want other people to know their secrets, and THAT'S why the medicine cabinet has been phased out. Plus that hotel bathrooms never have them too. 

People are funny. They really are.

My cousin Nettie passed. I had a feeling she did because I saw her sons posting on her FB account. I also was thinking I wonder about the first of our cousins on my dad's side to die? My cousin Susie had married in to the family and died years ago. This was my first of kin. Her brother and sister outlived her.  I spoke with her in meditation yesterday. And also my mom showed up for a little while. 

Nettie and I were close of heart when I was little. At family gatherings, we would always go and talk because the other cousins were very close and didn't seem to enjoy our company. Fortunately we always had each other, and we enjoyed each other's company.

Nettie was my Aunt Annette's youngest daughter. Aunt Annette or Nettie always seemed to draw my name for the Christmas gift exchange. Aunt Annette gave me gifts that opened my horizons--my first roller skates, my first Magic 8 Ball...things like that. And Nettie, she bought me things I enjoyed that were the finest quality--even if I was a nerd in what I wanted--a left-handed calligraphy set, Beethoven's 3rd symphony CD...

That's what I liked most about her, her heart. She was like her mom that way. She'd talk to me about drugs and how easy they were to get. She would go to Mc Donald's and people would walk up to her and try to sell them to her!

She told me she never, ever wanted me to do drugs. She warned me. And I took that to heart.

Drugs, and bad choices, unfortunately got the best of her, like alcohol got the best of her mother. Nettie's home had been chaotic growing up. Her father had thrown her down the stairs and she had broken her nose when she was like twelve. Her dad ended up getting in a bad motorcycle accident and became a quadriplegic. He had caregivers over time, including each of his kids, but he was a tall, big man, and it took lots of physical strength to care for him. Some would live with him, others would come to help in the morning and at night. 

My mom's dad gave me an ultimatum at my wedding to Mark--either Nettie shows up or my grandfather but not both. So I chose my grandfather. I lost touch with her over the years. We spoke a little on FB messaging. And I sat with her at her father's funeral. 

She told me her dad always wanted to be buried in a blue suit, he looked good in blue. But when she went to buy him one, her brother and sister said NO! It's too expensive. And to bury him in his old brown suit. She couldn't understand it. It was his last wish. And she felt helpless not to be able to give it to him.

Her brother said that at the end, even though her dad had hospice, he wanted to be taken to the hospital, but Nettie wouldn't let him and just said to die and laughed at him. So her brother came and took him to the hospital to die. I was shocked, I didn't think Nettie had it in her to be so cruel and cold. She, like her mother, had always been very sweet and nice to me. And when she spoke of how she loved her father, I had felt the love. It totally resonated with my being. I wasn't sure what to think, and I prayed I wouldn't be asked to take sides.

When all was said and done, it was ugly. The brother and sister sued her over the estate. They said that she spent too much of his money when she was living with him. It's entirely possible that this was true. I didn't see any of the finances. My other two cousins offered to sell me the house with an ocean view, for under market value, because it needed huge renovations. I had dreamed of the home, because the back yard was huge and there was a canyon behind it. Richard Nixon's Western White House was right down the street. I was concerned because of the bad luck and bad energy imprints which filled the home. I also was concerned because it would lengthen my commute. But I said no because I was worried Nettie might show up with her sons and want to live there still. I didn't know because I did still always love her, and I didn't understand the drugs and life choices she had made. 

In Heaven, she's good. She's really good. And we are on good terms like before. I am glad for this.

Now I am going to share a little bit of medicine from a friend who works at the grocery store. 

Be kind!

There are people out there who are very rude to the workers. Perhaps they are taking their stress out on the easiest target, I don't know? But when my friend asks, 'would you like to buy some bags, sir?' the person says, 'WHAT DO YOU THINK?!'   

Actually, he has to ask. 

There are lots of people who bring their own bags and bag in the car. 

Some people say things like 'don't put heavy items on my grapes' because they've had them smashed. The people don't ask nicely like, 'while you are at is would you please leave my grapes out so I can put them on top?' with a polite voice. 

They command. They insister. They get nasty and mean.

It's taking its toll on my friend.

That's why at the drive-thru window last night, I made a point to smile and with the worker a good day. 

Be sure to practice this everywhere you go, and also at home with your family. In times of uncertainty--little work, pandemic, scary news on mainstream media, masks--people sometimes forget to offer the one thing that matters most of all. Kindness. And Consideration.

Do unto others as you would have done to you. 

Remember too, Ross reminded me this morning, Give unto Caesar that which is Caesar's, and give unto God that which is God's. 

Those are words to live by.


When Carla found out about Nettie, I was proud, very proud of her. I call it 'Loving Without Judgement'. For in her heart, there is a tie, a bond, with this soul...and it can never be severed. She understands the importance of following her heart, and refraining from judgement. 

Everyone will 'have their day in court' so to speak, for the wrongs they have done to themselves and to others.

Actually, in doing to others, since we are One, it truly IS doing to one's self. That is why the Golden Rule is so complete and all-encompassing. 

Weight your heart and your mind as if on a scale, with the heart on one side, and the mind in the other. Do not let it unbalance. But remember, the one which has the most weight, is the side of the heart. The heart always sees true. It never falters. Others may trick and deceive it. But the heart in and of itself, is able to process and interpret the higher frequencies without any of the distortion of the 'Matrix' in which you live. 

How about those 'tomatoes'? (He smiles)

clap! clap!

aloha and mahalos,



Ross and Carla

The Magnificents in Twinship!!!

Monday, January 25, 2021

A Little Birdie...


I have a bad habit. I like to listen to other people's conversations. I know I shouldn't. But sometimes it gives me a peek into a world I otherwise would not know.

I overheard a woman talking about being in advertising, not with the client but with the advertising company. Her company had wanted to outsource her department, they did, but it didn't work out and they are hiring everyone back. She said that the person hiring her was new. Only worked there two months. And she had a lot of trouble renegotiating her contract. The new hire didn't advocate the woman, say, 'she has experience and these skills' (for example, when she was on medical leave nobody could figure out how to do her job when she was hired before, and she 'had no privacy' because they went in her computer looking for how to do it.) And for what the woman wanted, they couldn't give it, so they arranged for a bonus to be included as salary. But after two revisions to the contract and signing, the woman was told she wouldn't be eligible for her bonus until year two. 

It's sneaky.

Then the woman switched topics. She must be a big follower of the C News Network. Every point of view was verbatim to the narrative. Maxine. Did you get it? 

This is where I was surprised. The other woman in the conversation said, 'my family all made appointments at Dodger stadium but I didn't go.' and 'I think it's too early to tell it's rushed and I want to wait.'

I was like, 'Wow! Of all places...' this woman was holding up the light for the asleep one. Wow! Every topic, every point, was like, hmmmm. The awakened one was carefully delicately holding her space with grace and honor. 

In my own conversation I learned from a dear friend that two years before his mother's death he had learned that his mother had given the only asset she had, the house, to his sister. The other siblings all lost out. 'I got NOTHING!' he said, and I could sense the pain and rejection he felt. Why one and not the others?

He said that it hurts. 

I asked how it affected the relationship?

His sister is still his sister, but she keeps her distance he thinks because of the guilt. He still doesn't understand why she wouldn't do the right thing and make right by him and his other siblings? That's the pain. Her choice to take the easy way, and to keep it all to herself. 

But he added, 'the home is in the desert, the conditions are very harsh, there's been much weathering, the house looks ten years older, and a lot of repairs need to be done. At least I don't have to be involved in the repairs now.'

Well what about my gossip?

I always have gossip from the Spirit world. 

Remember the woman who was talking about Michael and Gabriel in the video link only given by one word at the end of the last blog post?

I was deep in meditation, and she popped up. She was startled and surprised to see me. My real me, not my Carla me. I was at Ross' side, in a beautiful dress. I had been talking with him about skipping the wedding part and just moving past it because I was nervous about the whole thing. Do you have cold feet?! Ross asked, teasing me. And I said, 'No, it's just that big shindigs aren't my thing, I had thought since we are close we had been through the whole thing already...' He insisted.

That's when she popped up.

She had never, ever seen me. Not in all of her early training, not in her later years as Chaplain. She hadn't even known I exist but had suspected it. 

I have a lot of skirts, like in the old days, and she was looking more at the dress than me. But I was crying and I thanked her for her work 'for the children'. (the ones like Cathy O'Brien and worse). I wasn't allowed to touch her. Ross said. But we had a short conversation.

Then I showed her something I'd like to add. I went to the Moloch on the wall, and put a big molded clear plastic over him and his pegs, sealing him to the wall. And above, a little bottle of perfume to drop a drop every now and then, 'to make him smell better'--the concept was a little like some of the deodorant systems found in public bathrooms.

She giggled and was delighted!

It was time for me to go back to Ross, but this time, I was still crying, and was permitted to hug her.

When I came back to Ross, there was a strange man I had never seen, in a room. He wore like a suit, very business-like, sort of a tan or camel color. I was kind and guided him to sit down. A simple chair manifested and he sat opposite from me. 

I couldn't place him, I'd never seen him, but with his words I figured out at once who he was, 'I win.' he said. He looked me in the eye and kept saying it over and over. At the same time, I was able to see the big picture, how it wasn't going to work out that way, and I had him sent away. I actually wrapped him in the carpet with my mind energy and showed him the door. 

Then I just stopped meditating. I'll talk more with Ross about the whole thing later. But not now. 

Here are two articles, videos for you:

  1. This one is helpful and was posted over our social media. You may have seen it yesterday.
  2. This is more of an article with a video, we didn't watch the video, just read the article, but it's a fascinating perspective.
  3. This one is sheer joy to watch: woman builds a beautiful home out of bamboo


Do not be afraid about the 'mysterious person'. He is the embodiment of our fears of the whole--all of the fears of the collective consciousness. It is very important for you both to be 'informed' and 'not afraid'. This is again like the two levels shown by Laurie Ladd in video one above. Although fear is a human emotion, and it is 'catchy', it is better not to be sucked into it. Think of it more like a rip tide out at the beach. We avoid them, we have lifeguards to help us if we are caught up in one, and if indeed we are, and there is no lifeguard, it is better to keep one's senses about them, and instead of trying to swim against the current, to swim across it to the other side. Rip tides are very narrow, at most perhaps ten or twelve feet, and once we are out of the pulling current sweeping us out to sea, no matter how far we are away from the shore we are able to swim in because we are no longer caught up in that current.

I will take care of him, that one, personally. I have the power and also the inclination to do this job. 
Leave my job to me, and you do your job, and all will be well.

(He waves his arms over his head) No matter WHAT you see or hear in the conventional and social media. <3 

clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,

Ross and Carla
The Twins who are of One Heart

Sunday, January 24, 2021

Understanding The Big Picture


There are many unknowns at this time of 'secret plans' and 'Ascension' and 'changes in power'. There are many unknowns when it comes to our health. It appears, based on a FB group in my local area, that many, many have overcome the 'contagion'. It is affecting many on a personal level. 

There is Uncertainty.

However, we are all born, we live, we die, and we go back to where we came up in the Higher Realms. We all have a purpose. We know that this incarnation is only part of a school, a classroom if you will, where we are learning and growing as souls.

This is one hundred percent absolutely Certain.

Therefore, the topic of our lesson which we have prepared for you today, is your option to exercise Kindness. This is a choice, it is yours, and yours alone. Even in the midst of political upheaval and a pandemic.

We are going to close our mouths to speculation both here and online 'politically', because of AI that watches everything and reads and listens to every word. Our word choices in the future will always bear this in mind.

However, what we will share today are two examples of everyday kindness, which was possible in these times, and warmed our souls, which is medicine against all we are up against. Kindness is good for the mind, body, and spirit. It uplifts the morale for both you and the recipient. 

There is a director, a CEO of my surgery center. I didn't know it, but she confided to me her son has autism. He's only four. Fortunately he's affectionate. But he's in special school every day. (Special needs at the high school has been in session on campus every day too, I hear).  

I opened my heart. I shared how I too have a touch of the 'spectrum'. I look at faces and the emotions displayed on them don't 'register' in my brain. I have to mentally process it over patterns I've learned with that person and others over time, and 'translate it'. It's painful. All I draw on my own without the work is a big blank. I can't tell when someone is lying to me. I can't tell when they are annoyed. It's painful because it affects my relationships, because I just don't 'get' the little social cues unless someone has pointed them out to me. But I have a friend, one of the mom's from Anthony's old school. Anthony had lots of autistic kids in his private school. And my friend's son benefited greatly from a special program at the University. They have child care there. And he's thrived and adapted ever since. It's expensive, but I asked my friend and she gave me the information for the mom with the four year old. 

This is the kind of help and hope and understanding that is priceless, from soul to soul.

Yesterday was the birthday of twin daughters of a coworker of mine. She is the one who picked me up for my colonoscopy, did my anesthesia, and drove me home. An exceptionally kind person. Her daughters are incredibly creative. They even have a special 'office' in the large closet under the stairs for all their art projects. I had promised a beading lesson for the girls. And they kept asking 'when is Carla going to come?'

It's difficult because the family is not only Muslim, but very liberal, and super concerned about Coronavirus. Actually, they are from Iran too. I have to walk delicately and make sure no one is afraid of virus. 

Yesterday, I put together two bead boards, two elastic rolls, and an assortment of shapes and sizes of beads to spark their creativity. I knew the girls would be excited to create something new and have something to help them pass the time. 

This is where I got surprised. I was only going to drop off the box at the door. But then, I was invited inside. I was served delicious cup of tea made with Rosewater. There is a special brand of Rosewater that was at the place in Beirut which blew up. The factory there had been over one hundred years old. It will never be rebuilt. They had bought up all the bottles then. 

They gave me one. You only use a capful. The flavor is very smooth with no aftertaste. 

Her husband gave me one 'low sugar cookie'.

As I sat and guided the girls to the basics, they were absolutely thrilled with the beads, as they were so much better than at the local craft store. They were real stone! They explained. I agreed and added that some are in fact, true gemstones, such as howlite (little heart beads), red jasper, and freshwater pearl. 

The girls showed me their rocks they paint. They were absolutely beautiful. I was given two. They remind me very much of Carrie Anne Secklin's geometric dot patterns--spiritual awakening and growth spans the globe in different places--not just one. 

I was stunned at the generosity and kindness when it was ME who was making the effort to be kind to brighten these lovely girl's special day during these times.

Last night, I was sent a picture, one daughter had four new bracelets on her arm, and her mom said she hadn't left the beads and the kitchen island all day. 

Now, like a dear friend told me, friends don't let friends overpay at local craft shops. They buy online at this supplier. 

Look for opportunity in these times, to share kindness. The future isn't known in full, in steps, or as planned exactly. This is stressful. But share the kindness. Open the heart. 

That is how you learn about you.

One of my sisters has been very sick. I was concerned she and my niece had Covid. I had to work where I did either anesthesia by hand or in Covid zones--both of which I couldn't use my phone. But then next day I called and texted to check up on them. I didn't hear from them all day, which is their custom. But I was worried for the worst. 

Later that night I found out they were still sick but had turned the corner. 

I didn't realize how deeply losing my mother had affected me. I was in anguish over the thought of losing them. I didn't realize how deep my feelings were, until then. My sister, said her family is just like that over their one remaining dog since the other passed a few months ago. I was glad she understood.

Remember kindness matters. And kindness begins at home. Smile at your loved ones in your home. Be respectful and courteous. And then, when you find yourself in a position to be kind, let the energy of nurturing, warmth, love and compassion flow. This is YOUR bread and butter for the soul. It nourishes YOU. As well as the others.



I made a room for Carla. The extent and severity of the Evil behind the scenes 'running the show' is overwhelming for her. She asks me, 'Ross, how did I end up here?' and 'how are we going to survive?'

The room is pure white with thick solid walls, no windows and no doors. It is actually whiter than white. And by thought Carla is able to go in it, and to rest and recharge her batteries. 

I tell Carla that this room is made from Angel wings. 

Remember our strength as a team.

clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,



Ross and Carla

The Couple who bring JOY as our 'trademark'

Saturday, January 23, 2021

A Look At The Front Lines, Again


Yesterday was a long day in the medical center. It started with fun, enjoyable cases at the surgery center. I enjoyed the teams very much, as well as the patients. 

One patient was a little risky, the charge nurse at pre-op was concerned because if the case didn't go well, there's no beds open at the hospital, and the ER is totally backed up. A past surgery ended up for this patient with a hospital admission.

Everything went well. I ate my lunch late, at two p.m., but I enjoyed it. 

I had gone to work in street clothes, changed into scrubs, but the facility and the hospital have different scrubs. I went to the car to drop off my lunch bag and my pants. I had kept my wool tee shirt on underneath for warmth. We have cold weather and now rain this weekend.

When I came to relieve, my heart sank, because there were not one but two GI cases with Covid in a three-case lineup. There is no such thing as a quick Covid case. You need to gown up into the protection, you need to be clear with family about the risks and it's hard to track down family by phone. 

Spirit told me to tell myself 'I LOVE doing Covid cases' instead of hating it because to do otherwise would feed the grid of the system that is keeping us from Ascension. 

What I'm going to share is what it's like to be human in those parts of the hospital the world cannot see. 

They are busy. ICU's a little less. But there's many people in those areas. And some sit at the nurses station. But most people are actively working.

There are little yellow gowns in carts outside of each Covid patient door. You have to put one on and take it off when you leave the room. That creates lots of trash but fortunately the hospital seems to manage it. 

The rooms are tiny. Two patients in a room make not much space for the equipment and the teams. The roommate from one of my patients was younger, Asian, watching TV, and looking like he didn't want to be there but he was. There was a quality of having places to go and things to do about him. But truly, in Southern California, there is nothing to do for fun. Absolutely nothing. 

We just wake up, go to work if it is permitted, go home, and go to sleep. It's crazy.

The ICU's, the makeshift kind where they took over other parts of the hospital, are surreal. There's no other way to explain it. It's like a brightly lit place where you can see all the patients at once--like six or eight--and they are connected to machines and hovering between life and death, they are totally sedated. There are fecal recovery systems in place (we call them rectal tubes), foley catheters to collect urine...lots of i.v. drips, and the ventilators.

I saw a new one I've never seen before, but it worked. I changed the oxygen level on it. It was very compact and actually smaller than the monitor for the vital signs. If you have ever bought a pie in a box, it's about that size. We have plenty of ventilators. Beds we are having to rent from outside, we are low, and some funky ones come in. But ventilators are good.

There's a new kind that has 'high flow oxygen'. It gives one hundred percent, like a non-rebreather mask does. It's different from the CPAP and BIPAP I've seen elsewhere in the hospital. One of the things I've noticed are pressure marks in skin, deep, dark and red ones, from wearing these devices all the time. My dad had a notch in his nose from his oxygen cannula years ago. It's just something I notice and might as well share.

Then there was the first time I saw a patient who didn't make it being wheeled out of the regular ICU, the non-Covid one. Ours look a little taller than gurneys, and there's a black plastic curtain over the whole area where the body is, so instead of a lump you see the angular lines of the frame that supports the curtain. 

People are starting to panic. It's the same kind of panic I used to see in people's eyes at the grocery store when times were bad and nobody could afford anything. It's a panic they try to hide. You have to look for it. 

At work, I see a lot of 'dingy' things from people. That ability to focus and do the tasks needed to finish is out the window. I had a patient sitting in the room for fifteen extra minutes, surgery was over, the bed was in the room, and the scrub tech was just taking his time doing his thing, the nurse was doing something on the computer. The surgeon was in a hurry and I was moving things forward and I looked at him like, 'WTF is going on?'  He handled it well, he's a young surgeon, and he said, 'Now that everybody understands and knows the patient is ready to leave the room, let's get the patient out of the room'. to avoid the excuses. Afterwards he talked to the charge nurse for the OR, and she relieved the other nurse to do the next case. The surgeon was able to make his appointment on time after the cases. 

My neighbors are starting to feel the effects of Covid. Some of Anthony's friends and their families have had it, and they were fine. But some who have relatives with comorbidities and are living in higher risk areas are coming down with it. They said, 'Mom, I didn't feel RIGHT' and got help. My close neighbor said the death rates on the news are getting to her. She does everything to protect her high risk husband but he's very social and needs to go out.

That's where I shared from my heart that it's a balance. Some people being stuck at home is the worst possible thing for their mental health. There's only so much we can do. And Jesus said, in Mark 8:33 more or less, that if you save your life you lose it, and if you lose your life you save it.  Worrying keeps you from enjoying the blessings we have in this day!

Which brings us to another point. Quality of life. Many people are asked if they want 'everything done' for their loved one when their loved one is critically ill. Well of course people are going to say yes to that, right? how could anyone say no?

Doctors often say no. For their loved ones. If the lungs are going to make the person handicapped and on oxygen for the rest of their life if they recover, we might choose to let nature take its course for them. And if more than one organ system is out (lungs, kidney), we understand the overwhelming risk to overcome and how rarely the process of multi system organ failure is reversible. At that point we think about the suffering of the loved one, stuck between life and death, connected to all those wires...and we pause to consider the option of letting them go. 

We don't think that 'he is a fighter' is a valid data point. It's an emotional one. And in the face of overwhelming disease, we hear family members all the time using that argument when in fact it comes across as a form of denial of the (to us) medically obvious. Our system is set up to allow for this, the pursuit of care when it's not likely to change the outcome. We are fortunate we don't have to ration care and can allow families this bit of 'wiggle room' to help them come to accept the inevitable at their own pace.

I came home so tired. And today we have a meeting on Zoom with the department because some people want to earn all the money in the group. People have to wait for four hours, two hours to do a little case, and the higher ranking person just swoops in and takes it from them. We resist. So the swooper docs are upset. Hence the meeting. 

Please note that on my good week, I worked three short days with much less caseload. And on my 'bad week', I'm not working at all. For most in the group, the full time ones, they have two to three days off a week right now due to Covid. We are staffing the Covid intubation call twenty four hours a day, but we don't know our hourly rate and there's no payment plan like, every two weeks, at the end of the month. This Covid is going on much longer than the three weeks the last surge. So that's what I'm going to bring up at the meeting.

Ross told me yesterday morning he wanted me to go out to eat at the end of the day, no questions asked. That's how he supports and guides me. I had a feeling it would be bad, but it was worse than I thought. Four hours for three low paying, high risk Covid cases. I was in that protective gear the whole time. 

Here's something else to think about from yet another doctor: The way I see it, these changes in healthcare are non-accidental. They are steps in a plan to usher in the NWO, to limit population, and to take away freedoms. Not only is this talk from this doctor important for everyone to hear, know she was arrested shortly afterwards and had to spend a night in jail for speaking the truth.  Don't share it on social media. Just let people you love who might be receptive to it, know, by the old fashioned methods.

That's pretty much everything for me.


I want to say something about the importance of having hope. Not blind hope and faith, but a constant reassurance that everything is going as planned. About our team. We have our faith in you, and we encourage you to have your faith in us.

Take careful note of the shakiness and 'dingy-ness' Carla mentions about people 'not being present' and 'not functioning at their highest capacity for clinical demands'. I want you to extrapolate that one everywhere.

I want you to recall the way you felt when you discovered for yourself the truth behind the secrets that are hidden. That disorientation, that shock.

I want you to put the two together, to layer that discovery on top of today's social stress.

Now you will understand why the private time in meditation will strengthen you, and why YOU are awake and aware, and others aren't. Simon Parkes gave a nice talk to his teams about it, it's an honor and a blessing to be awake in times like this, and to applaud yourself for it. Realize it's not 'their time' to awaken for the others, and it's frustrating that they aren't and you are, but look at it from the perspective that your soul is in a much better place and your hard work at soul growth is paying its benefits for you to see. Better to be awake than asleep. 

Especially when the awakening is on the road ahead.

clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,



Ross and Carla

The 'do gooders' <3 (he's chuckling and laughing at his sense of humor)

Thursday, January 21, 2021

What is Available to Us?


What recourse is available to us at this time? I'm speaking about the hospital. I'm off work today. It was my 'good week' and I've only had three days work. Yesterday I only did three short cases. If we are 'at war' with a biological weapon, the front lines are the medical workers who are both exposed to risk, managing the carnage, and losing income...all at the same time.

The conversation at the hospital is all about Maxine. She's a popular girl and everyone gets two 'dates' with her. But I have stopped answering such questions honestly. A lot of people take it and don't want it and are apprehensive. I know of only one physician and one surgical tech who decline to meet Maxine, besides myself. But now with the conversations, I lie. Yes I took it. Oh no I had no reactions. 

In the meantime, I know people whose arms got hard lumps that have never gone away at the 'meeting site'. There was 'a bad batch' in San Diego where more nurses than described were taken away by ambulance with allergic reactions. And a physician in Florida developed ITP and passed of a brain hemorrhage two weeks later. Of course, no one is at fault and experts 'agree' that there is no direct correlation. 

People are smart. I found two nurses in the hallway who looked glum and had packets of papers in their hands. I know them well from the operating room, they are both excellent. But they have been forced to work on the floors. In the Covid units. But their expertise is the opposite of what is needed on the floor. Many others 'floating' there have 'played dumb' (I asked is it possible to exercise this option?). So now there was a 'class' on 'basic nursing' they had to take so they could 'take vital signs' and 'do other things'.

I asked them if they heard about the seven hundred fifty extra dollars a Covid shift, plus the time and a half that the nurses get? 

They hadn't, and also, they don't get it when they 'float'. Only the dedicated floor nurses on their own units make it.

This looks like Bevelyn Beatty. I saw her video last night. That and X22 (the b version from 1/20) helped me to cope. 

It's been a difficult week, especially with the energies and my soul recollection. It's been the closest to the levels/events of unopposed evil that were around Ross' demise. He was a sacrifice, he was treated how the Luciferian do, and in addition to the beatings that they told you, he was savagely violated and I'm going to stop there. So for me, my soul has been in absolute panic. Desperation. Wanting to die. I've felt that once, I don't want to ever feel that again. 

I was wishing pain on the masses of unawakened people. Pain and suffering. Because they watch and do NOTHING. I could SEE how the dark ones have absolute hatred and contempt for the 'useless eaters'. 

I walked in the break room, where all the nurses are liberals, and they were watching slack jawed and glassy eyed at the inauguration. One spoke up about 'respect for the office of the president' after I've heard her talk shit about the former one for four long years. 

They can't even see their own hypocrisy!

If you've read Fritz Springmeier on the bloodlines then you will know exactly who Joe Biden is and what he does for the Illuminati. And it ain't politics. 

Yet, I've been faced with my own shortcomings in the realm of Spirit. Yesterday was Ross' birthday, and I almost forgot it. His example of compassion is like, way bigger than mine. I'm petty. I'm cross. I'm human. I anger easily when I see evil and I want it all squashed like a bug.

But Jessie Czebotar? She was IN it. She watched the killings, she was forced to, she couldn't flinch. I've been freaking out over the memory of what I saw with Ross. She witnessed over one thousand a month. For years. 

Jessie has compassion. Her ministry is to those who want to get out of the Illuminati. She reminds them and us that God's love forgives everything. Everything. If the soul truly wants to repent and change. 

That's how Bevelyn helped me to close the gap. Today is another day. There's only so much I can control. 

I cried a lot in Ross' arms last night. The horror. All of it. From the past. From now. I don't remember any dreams. But I woke up feeling better.

I also had to learn of resourcefulness. Last night's dinner the turkey meat tenderloins were still frozen. So I got creative. I sautéed collard greens with garlic, and heated up some chicken sausages. I cooked paparadelle made in Germany, and added pesto sauce to it. And I made a salad with the food processor, very fine slices, of baby bok choy, jalapeño, Persian cucumber, apple. I had blue cheese dressing with mine, Anthony had his favorite one instead. But it made for a nice meal. We went out and got a chocolate cheesecake for Ross, and lit a bunch of candles, and sang for him.  We had our bible study, Mark 8:33 stood out. It's the one that I use when I tell myself why I am 'no Maxine'. It's inspirational. Just like Psalm 119 was for us the night before. It's the middle of the Bible that verse and the longest of the Psalms.

I want to share some really, really good news.

Our old babysitter was the niece of a nurse I knew in PACU at my hospital. She was from Liberia. She wanted citizenship. She spent thousands--all of her babysitting money--on an old friend in Texas and married him to get her citizenship. But it fell through. She needed a green card.

Then she was taking lots of classes. To enter the medical field. To be a medical assistant and phlebotomist. She told me about a deal where a doctor would pay for her tuition (two thousand dollars) if she would work for him for two years. I smelled a rat. It wasn't good for her human rights. 

So I paid for her tuition and let her work it off. This gave her her freedom.

Well, Anthony got bigger, and she never worked off the last six hundred dollars...but she's starting a new job, her first one in a hospital, and she's so grateful to us. She understands and appreciates how we helped her--this wasn't the first time we paid for a tuition up front and let her work it off there had been others too. 

I made her promise to be very careful about her PPE. Always. She said she will.

So good things happen. And people remember the help they are given. They really do. And I'm glad.

Ross wants me to share some of the videos that cheered me up:
  • ten signs your rabbit loves you. Ours does.
  • The overlook at Yosemite Falls  I'm so glad I saw this, I could never hike it lol
  • Caitlin rates Hollywood corpses...actually, if you've studied with Jessie, then you would know that Caitlins dream of 'being eaten by animals' is actually something that's been done for a long time to humans. There's magic that makes people who eat that more susceptible to demon influence. Jessie says the powder in the bottom of oatmeal is an example of it. Scary, huh? I'm grateful no matter how scary it is for the Truth.
  • Pictures of Marilyn Monroe from the Misfits  I love to watch her because I know she's a beta kitten--the poor soul had a heart and was just aware enough that her lift was NOT NORMAL, and she was smart enough to be her own advocate as best as she could, too. The past reminds me of 'better days' too.
  • The Hilton Conjoined Twins. I don't know why I like the 'sad life of' movies, but I do, and that they were 'owned' and 'bequeathed' just is beyond me. I'm so glad they sued and got their freedom. And that they worked in a supermarket too. 


First of all I want to thank you for your birthday wishes. They mean a lot to me, so very much, and it is a treasure in my heart.

It's been hard times for me too, even though I am in spirit and in the Heavenly Realms. I've mentioned once before how since I am helping Carla, I am seeing things through her eyes, of our mutual shared experiences in our immediate last incarnation together. It breaks my heart to see the passion and the torture and the horror Carla experienced to have been my wife in that time. I couldn't have done it without her. I needed her loving support. What I didn't know is how much it truly took out of her. 

I offer her my loving support. And I bless her as she heals from the trauma she endured on my behalf. It was a quiet drama compared to my own, but a hidden one and real one nonetheless. 

Evil has a way of making everyone believe it has the reins of the horse in hand and it is running away with the stagecoach--but in fact it isn't. What God takes into account is the path of the road ahead, the velocity of the vehicle, and the likelihood for it to tip over in a horrendous crash or meet with ill fate such as bandits or the cavalry at the end of the movie.

My support for you, as well as my suggestion, is to live your lives as you would otherwise, without paying attention to what is in the news, until something affects you personally and you have to adapt to it. Then you consider making a choice and how you are going to accept it. This keeps everything in the realm of being able to control that what you can, and being mindful in that perspective. 

The dark wants you to seek solutions which are outside of yourself. 

Always look within, to the strength of your soul, and for your mission. 

Carla had a surgeon who refused to work with her yesterday and they had to switch rooms--this was known to her in advance. However, the second patient loved her so much that she has reserved Carla's services for her very next continuation surgery! To each his own and it is far better to look with love and gratitude for What Is than to dwell on what is Unpleasant.

Yesterday the charge nurse was looking for her phone. She was certain she had 'lost it'. Everyone was searching all over the surgery center. Carla had a feeling the phone wasn't lost. It was in the car perhaps? But when she was changing clothes she heard a phone ringing in a locker, and knew it was important for her day but couldn't place it. Usually phones never ring at that early hour. But she retraced the steps with the Charge nurse, and both realized she had a calculator in the med room, and it wasn't the calculator on the phone she used. Later the phone was found in the nurses' purse inside her locker.

This is an example of people being scattered, which Carla has noticed. Perhaps it's from the stress of the Covid, perhaps it is a by-product of Maxine, no one can put a finger on it. But compassion and love and patience is the answer.

I'd also like to share that independence of conviction Carla demonstrated yesterday to a colleague who was stuck in a ten hour case. When Carla walked over to the main OR to drop off her billing slips, she had a gap in her line up at the surgery center, and she offered right at eleven the chance for her colleague to take a break and eat. "I will do it for free I won't charge, it's just like you were always here" she was clear to tell him. Back in residency this was the norm to get one half hour for lunch and fifteen minutes morning and afternoon for breaks. Carla did this from the kindness of her own heart, with no compensation or reciprocation expected, simply because it was the Right Thing To Do. So, even when Carla was in distress in her darkest hour, it was Carla who chose to Give of Herself to Others who are also under stress like her on the Front Lines. And this was the perfect gift for me, her consideration and compassion, and extended MY mission a little bit further as if I was back again on Earth in her welcoming arms.

Kindness is King, and Compassion is Queen! And so it is in my Kingdom!

clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,



Ross and Carla

The Twins who are 'figuratively joined at the hip' 

Wednesday, January 20, 2021

Peace In The Kitchen


For about a week now, a transformation has taken place in my heart. I have peace in the kitchen.

It's hard to explain but things that used to stress me out, don't bother me in the kitchen. And like a miracle, I have been able to put together delicious meals with a little more skill, and using all of the ingredients we have on hand, before they go bad. 

The dishes are always piled up, but, I tackle them while listening to the X22 report. And I don't mind. Anthony plays the video games, I can see him, and he says 'he's going to help in a minute'--and I'm not angry with him at all. I understand he's playing something with friends, he can't leave. But when I ask and I know he's available, he will gladly help. 

Yesterday I was surprised because he asked for a leftover for lunch. He adores risotto. I had made a chicken marsala with extra mushrooms, and a risotto, one night and we ate at like eight p.m. it took forever to make. But even without the chicken, he loved the risotto, and we had just enough for one.  I had leftover thai eggplant basil, and was happy too. 

Last night, was a simple yet satisfying winter dinner. I put 3 leeks, half a kabocha squash, all the ginger I had chopped up, and a whole bunch of rainbow Swiss chard, along with Japanese cooking condiments. I let it simmer. This simple stew was absolutely delicious. Full of nutrition too. We had my frozen homemade gyoza as first course (I had frozen them in a little plastic tray, and cooked them last night. And for dessert was poached red pears simmered in mulled red wine. 

I can't begin to tell you the peace I have, with some part of my life working right. I'm so grateful. 

I've had a lot of anxiety lately. So much I couldn't sleep. About the lawsuit. The last day at work my first patient was like a twin for the one who is behind it. I found compassion in my heart, and I forgave the original one for suing me. I was able to sleep again.

Between work and home, and missing my mom, and other things, my anxiety has been off the charts. Last night I didn't sleep so good either. 

I'm distracted by a spider to my right. It's a daddy longlegs. He's in the corner. She? I can't tell with spiders to be honest. But it's moving around in its web. A friend had shared how in Brisbane, Australia, a man saw a HUGE spider, as big as a plate, up in his room and just decided to let it live with him. For a year. It's shocking how big that spider was! But people who weren't afraid and commenting like that in the comments, said, in French, because it was a French friend who posted it--'did it pay you rent?' because it was so big. 

We each come to peace with what we are comfortable with. At our own time. And when we notice and appreciate the peace, it's a blessing.

Time for work.

Ross waves hello. He is always so handsome in his uniform. He says he loves you and blows you kisses too. No matter how busy he is, he always lets us know he cares. He's one of the good ones, isn't he? <3 I'm grateful.

clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,



Ross and Carla

Tuesday, January 19, 2021

The Orb and The Feather


Yesterday I was on first call. The hospital has lost the sparkle, life and joy it once had early in my career. There are checkpoints, mask mandates, and ever-increasing superbugs like VRE and ESBL in addition to the usual C DIFF...and of course, Covid 19. I counted one hundred ten patients yesterday. 

I'm starting to notice 'care fatigue' in my colleagues and in myself. Short days leave you just as tired as the long ones used to. It's from wearing the N-95 masks underneath your regular surgical masks all day. To be honest my ears are getting sore from all the elastic straps. 

I notice that there is a distinct lack of honest news from the front lines. There are the drama rants from the care providers who are on the front lines, accusing everyone of causing this pandemic because they are tired of the masks, as if only the 'mask and hand washing' and 'maxine' will 'cure' it. The hospitals at the beginning said we aren't to write about it on any social media. But, I think a little just to keep the truth out there is best. Otherwise how can people know and decide what they wish to do?

One of my patients I intubated on my last call shift passed, and the other one isn't looking much better. I read with interest the symptoms of the one who passed when he showed up to the emergency department...a little cough, a sore throat, nothing major. But then his shortness of breath got so bad he could barely move around the house. Yes there were risk factors. Yes he was 'young'--early fifties. At the end the pneumonia had taken its course and the temperature was almost one hundred six Fahrenheit. It had taken three days after intubation for him to pass. 

There were lots of resources used, all the standard medications, a ventilator, nursing care, labs...two code blues. Then off to the extra morgue space.

A friend of mine has seen someone from a mortuary taking out the bodies. The whole parking area is the farthest from the main entrance to the hospital, and it's cordoned off. 

I'm a keen observer of people. I read them. Always have. And there was one thing I couldn't put my finger on--the nurses in all of the Covid units have been extremely happy. Nowhere are the free meals and perks from the local small businesses to 'the heroes' because the small businesses if they are still open are struggling to stay open. It's been a year. But the happiness? It's money. Each nurse is paid an extra seven-hundred fifty dollars bonus just to take a Covid unit shift. Plus they get paid time and a half. But the ones who are showing up for work at the O.R., who have to 'float' over to 'help' the Covid nurses? They won't get their unemployment leave signed or paid if they refuse to help over there. 

People are highly intelligent. 

And now I'm looking for those who have 'disappeared'. Many have just left the hospital with one reason or another. The expectant mother had 'early labor' and is out on leave. Both of the ones in our department. One who had just underwent surgery before Thanksgiving--and missed all the holiday seasons--is getting even more surgery again. The hospital has a policy only one major surgery a year. But this has 2020 and 2021 covered. I haven't seen my own pulmonologist who had been heading up the entire Covid response--it's been months now. There's others taking care of the patients.

And even the patients--they are in the room but the iv tubing is super long so they can run the iv pumps from outside the door. Those are the Covid ones. 

And the absent-mindedness! A cardiologist 'cleared' a patient for surgery without looking at an important test result cardiologists run. The patient didn't have much blood pressure and surgery was cancelled, it was frightening. There was important knowledge needed that wasn't available to the surgical and anesthesia team...

I saw a gastroenterologist going SO FAST. Why? Because there used to be two or three who would take care of the emergency stuff that comes in to the ER, but now one caught Covid and is 'retired' due to health being totally shattered, and others who don't like to work nights and weekends. In other words, our teams are 'running thin'. I have a feeling some of our own anesthesiologists are finding work elsewhere to supplement their dwindling income from lack of surgical cases. And overtime? In the O.R. the management is saying, 'not one minute!'--they are struggling too.

I will briefly add the rest.

Spirit gave me two gifts, one I can share with you. When you encounter a very negative soul, like a Dark Mother and the like, you can tickle it with this feather. It's big and white. And this action reminds both of your souls that 'this is only a game' (an Illusion). No one wins.  This is very empowering.

The other is the Golden Orb that was just given to me this morning by my teams. It represents the Magic of Gaia returning Home to Her. I had been getting angry and upset because the Dark Ones don't even have their own magic to use! No. Not in any way. Much of it has been redirected from trapped magical creatures, from the ley lines of Mother Earth herself (to the point of hijacking her natural time travel and dimension and distance portals for their own use), as well as the sexual energy and lifeblood of living creatures! They use incantations and what has been taught from generation to generation through bloodlines. But that's a poor substitute for the real magic, like from the Faeries, the elders, and mystical beings. It just makes me sick the impostors, for that is truly what they are. And I stood for it. I was kind of surprised at its coming back to me. Remember, when you see the QE2 with that little gold ball, that's what it stands for--the keeper of the stolen magic. Only, now, it's empty and powerless, as are all of their efforts. There's been a decoupling of that and only the will of the ego on their side remains. Without true Magic and Life Force and energy of the Universe--it's nothing. 

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Aloha and Mahalos,



Ross and Carla

The Twins

Ross says 'hold on to your hats!'