The Payoff!

 

Today was the very first time I saw progress in everything I have been working so hard on my personal growth and healing to achieve!

As an anxious attacher, I have been reading the book and journaling through an author/Instagram person who 'clicks' with me. I've been seeing things from a different perspective, letting go, and putting a lot in God's hands.

After working at Long Beach yesterday, I realized that there, is sort of a certain level of professionalism that nobody--from all ranks and positions in the hospital--will ever go beneath. Even the women volunteers in the Gift Shop were way more professional too!

Somehow my subconscious and conscious realized that what's been happening to me at my place of work is not only wrong, it should never have been permitted to happen! I'm the one who had the 'slippery boundaries' because of fear ('I needed the work'). 

But compromising yourself, or trying to do things to get people to accept you/love you/change how they perceive you--only causes a disconnect with your own soul. It's a form of betrayal against your own gift of YOU. 

What happened?

I shifted from 'reactive' to 'reaction' and 'proactive'.

On the schedule last night my boss put me in a room with the mean surgeon who makes me cry. 

Ordinarily I would have danced around and gotten upset and talked to everybody and not been able to get any sleep...with anxiety and dread.  

Instead I figured there's a chance things would change and if they did, fine, if now, I'd deal with it at the place and time I needed.

The Charge Nurse, a friend, asked me if I'd be able to work after that case (I was first to leave on the schedule). I said it depends on how things go, if the surgeon makes me cry, then I need to leave at once. I was willing to put our differences aside and work with him if he was willing to do the same. 

I saw him in Pre-Op. He was professional and cordial. We discussed the plan.

The case went okay. Not great or perfect but it went well. (I had two tries at the arterial line). 

The feather in my cap was that I held my pee the whole five hours! Time before he stopped working with me, I must have had too much coffee, or too much nerves, or a bladder infection. I had to pee like, five or six times during the case. But today?  HE had to break scrubs to, in his words, 'take a piss'.  Right in the middle of the case!

I felt good about it. It wasn't as bad as I would have imagined. And I was really glad for the opportunity to  work with him like I had been doing for twenty years at my old hospital and the beginning of this one. 

My 'don't fuck with me' attitude is online, and firing like it should!

If' you've suffered trauma, you'll know how easy it is to let things slide. You've suffered far worse, in reality, so this offense is not anywhere near as much of a violation, so you just put up with it. It conditions you and you resent things to be like that. 

Here is was with the abuser, interacting well, not being fawning or obsequious. And to the Charge Nurse before I said that the interactions with him have been so bad for so long I could sue and I just won't put up with it!

All of this 'awakening' stuff seems so utterly 'airy fairy' most of the time, doesn't it? But when you follow your gut, your soul guidance, work with your guides, and put in the effort, you heal. And it heals into a wonderful surprise just like I had today.

Ross nods in agreement. He's proud of me, I can tell.

clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,

Namaste,

Peace,

Ross and Carla

The Reiki Couple

Healing the Depths

 

My healing journey has taken an unexpected turn as of late. I've discovered a whole new layer of healing with Ross, who has been working with me extensively today, one on one. And I'm really, really working hard to accept and allow this healing. It stretches me just about as much as I am able to stretch.

Since it's so new, and so deep, I'll explain how I found myself at this point.

I've discovered I am an anxious attacher. Remember all those times when I was little and had neglect from the babysitter? And other things at home? It affected how I 'bond' with people. People who are in my private life, in my home, and in my heart as a partner. It's not easy for me to attach, and I get very nervous and upset and hyper vigilant over any inkling or possibility I could be abandoned in any way.

A big part of healing this maladaptation is to learn to take care of yourself, to fill your cup first. This is a skill to practice and learn.

But another part of the healing is the disruption and extenuating circumstances in my life. It seems like whenever I get my hopes up for a day to do what I need and what I want, then, things disrupt it! My boss called and wanted me to work for him, even though the schedule came out without my working. I had that 'aaaahhhhh' going thinking I was going to catch up and sleep in...then BAM! Had to say yes. Well, an hour later, a surgeon cancelled a line up due to corona (more on that subject later) and someone else took my room! So I WAS off. 

I like to plan.

I really do.

But my lifestyle has made it darn near impossible to plan a day all out. 

So, Anthony left for school.

I went to the porch swing.

I cried.

I don't know what to do with my life, I'm just not happy. Work is weird I'm not even going to discuss it. But it's highly unstable. Relationships aren't easy. And that deepest part of Ross' and my relationship--how it kind of fell apart in that lifetime, and yet we both loved each other--I cried. 

I cried off and on today, a lot.

But, in that porch swing, Ross explained something he's never talked about before:  all of this is fake.

None of it is Real.

Yes we experience it. We experience it so we can learn about our personalities more. About our hearts. And my being absolutely destroyed by his passing was, in his words, 'a sign of how much I can love'. 

Back Home is what's Real.

And Back Home I am absolutely loved and confident and in a state of Bliss.

Here it's like a movie, or a game. Even though it feels like forever and we've lived thousands of lives, there is no such thing as Time. 

He brought this up to ease my pain. It worked a little.

I also put all my worries in his care, and asked him to help guide me through the steps of my day, since I wasn't really up to planning anything any more. 

Again, later this afternoon, I went in the pool, and Ross had me just float and just 'be'. We talked again, in depth, about all of the various things going on with my lesson. I realized back in the day, he loved me, even though we didn't have the best marriage...and even more, he loves me Now. As in Now and Forever. He loves me a lot.

So, even though it was painful, today I needed to realize I am lovable (childhood wounds were not only unjust, they weren't true, because I was innocent AND lovable)...and let all that love soak in. From everywhere. 

It's not easy to realize you are lovable just the way you are.

It's super easy to love others the way they are. 

He also went over how even though we may feel guilt over various things we have had in our life experiences, he can take that all away. Partly because it's not Real as in Home/Heaven. Partly because we have the gift of moving beyond such things, and starting new whenever we wish. 

I wish I could explain it better this lesson, it's almost like words are failing me. I trust and I hope that Spirit and Ross and our Teams will help you understand the concept. At least better than my explanation, which is a good start and that's about it. 

Ross wants us to focus on what is good. And to keep dreaming and moving forward. In the healing part, if you are asked to get to this deepest layer, it's okay, it's not scary, and it feels the closest yet to being Home. So give it a try, if you are so invited by your Life lessons!

On 'that subject'. It is not supposed to be a 'summer thing'. The original one was around in winters, like influenza. This particular type is going like wildfire. Even Anthony caught it. My immune system is working from January, I'm still good. From what I understood heat and humidity killed the infectious organism. So this is a huge warning bell going off...just odd...wondering what Fall will bring....

clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,

Namaste,

Peace,

Ross and Carla

the Couple who are very much in Love

Aha!

 

I'm in a time of assimilation and rapid growth ...inside.  It's always an 'inside job', isn't it?

Part of it is having frank discussions with Ross daily. 

One discussion was, 'what should I focus on in these times where the AC is running the show?' The answer was to basically acknowledge that but not focus on it. Instead, just the same as always, focus on what brings me joy. And pretty much all things which bring us joy are in alignment with out Life Plan. So don't worry, go out there, and create, try, learn!

Another discussion was about people who aren't making changes. For those, Ross says to just make a mental note of how they interact with you as being a sign of where they are in their stage of development, and it's the stage talking, not really them. In a way, detach with love, and honor the path of the other.

My biggest 'aha!' was a craving I've always had. As a result of the abuse and neglect, from my childhood, I am what they call and 'anxious attacher'. I've always felt if I got the attachment 'right', that craving to be loved and held would go away. 

WRONG!

It's not my place to seek another to fill that hole in my heart and soul.

It's up to me.

So yesterday, for example, I was kind to myself, ran a short series of errands Ross recommended I take, and just focused on getting myself and my health and energy back to this time zone in preparation for today's call.

This is huge! This 'aha!'. I've suffered from this 'hunger' my whole life, I could never escape it. But yes, just like with the broken bone needed to be 'bent' in the same direction of the 'break', returning to adaptive, 'normal' development would be not having such a hole, and who better to give love and attention to the ache than myself, who is always with me?

That's pretty cool, huh?

So today, I face a grueling schedule, and a surgeon who makes me cry. Yesterday I didn't let myself dwell on it because today wasn't here yet. Today, I'm getting ready in time. Going through all the preparations. I'm letting go of all expectations for today. And it's what I have to do to keep my job. At the moment.

Daily, daily, I relax and talk with Ross about my future. And he has me imagine different scenarios, sort of to try them on for size. I also ask myself with each activity I begin, 'is this creating the kind of life I wish to have for myself?'  To be honest there's a lot of 'I don't know's and 'I'm not sure's in this process. But I am centered and grounded, that's good enough for me.

Time to go.

Ross gives a big thumbs up!

clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,

Namaste,

Peace,

Ross and Carla

The Twin Souls

A New Twist

 

Remember all that Pilates I've been doing?

I'm really glad I did.

Travel is not what it once was. It's a physically grueling event with little to no time to relax and enjoy the process. 

The world has changed. Enough so I'll clue you in to how ravel is these days...long changed from the days you could walk into an airport, buy a ticket, and just fly that day on a flight that wasn't totally full like back in the eighties.

Long, long time ago, we booked our travel through travel agents. And then, perhaps in the past twenty years, using booking sites such as Expedia to save money. For me, once I had my dates of coverage at work, I started looking on airline websites as well as Expedia for the best price. Anthony is very tall, so for his comfort on shorter flights we go economy plus. On longer ones I invest in lie-flat seats. 

Last year we left from our local airport and avoided LAX altogether. This year I opted to do the same, which means, not one but two connections. In the past, connections have been little breaks but not much trouble to get from one gate to the other. I've upgraded to a travel carryon bag with wheels which fits my backpack on the handle, so I have an easier time going through the airport. 

Buying the flight was nerve-wracking but the easiest part. It's expensive. As such tickets go, my price was low enough that my friend who paid the same for lie-flat seats to her home in Singapore, got her flight cancelled because it was too inexpensive. 

In Europe, there is this thing, a 'locator' you need. You can't get on a plane for a connection there without one QR code for each passenger. I did one for me, but not for Anthony. It was kind of a panic point but we were able to fly as he did his on his phone at the last minute, copying everything on the printout I had for me.

What about the injection series?

If you've taken it, you need proof. This proof is enough to let you just about anywhere. If you haven't, then you need a recent negative test from a lab (72 hours for PCR, 48 hours for antigen). I went through a company that you enter your passport number and they do lots of internationals. For Hawaii, back when they tested, you needed to go to someplace they approved of, such as CVS. If it wasn't from the approved list it wasn't okay. 

Then for the big trip, like always, you need new clothes, gifts for family, your bills all paid ahead, someone to collect or hold your mail, someone to watch the pets and water the plants...this alone in preparation is grueling. 

You also have the option to pay someone to drive you to the airport, or to pay for parking at the airport in either a short-term or long-term parking facility. 

We woke up early, but last minute things took up time. We should have been at the airport at five and got there closer to six. 

Business class and first class have two 'perks' if you remember to use them--you can go up to the counter instead of an app or a screen at the airport to 'check in' with a person and drop off your baggage with little to no line. Also, there is sometimes but not always a shorter line for security and customs. Another thing people forget is that the airline Club areas have free food for you and free wifi. You have to show your ticket to be permitted in. First class domestic will not let you into one lounge but first class international will. The food isn't great, either, but it's free. And there's coffee. Sometimes alcohol too.

In the US, domestic flights do not need masks to be worn. On Canadian flights, all, they are very strict but if you take your time eating you don't have to wear it the whole time. They provide you with masks too. I find it more pleasant to be without a mask in flight so I would choose a mask-free airline in the future.

Here's where the changes are really, really noticeable...there's lots of apps you need to travel now. I had one for Air Canada, one for United. You get text updates on the flights and gates which are constantly changing. These are super important so pay attention to them. 

Second, with delays which are common, the ninety minute connection turns into a thirty-minute 'tight connection' where you often have to walk in a hurry from one terminal to another.  If international is involved then factor in a long, slow, line for security. In Canada the unvaccinated are free to pass through the country but are not able to stay. In the United States it appears to be the same for people who are not United States Citizens. 

This is where the Pilates paid off. It wasn't easy, but I could make the distances as I was in much better shape than several trips earlier. 

Keep in mind restrooms too. These long lines are very, very long. And barely move. We had a three-hour delay in Montreal. If you cough when you pee you might want to consider wearing something under your clothing to account for that. 

Food you used to have time to pick up but we didn't except for when we had long connections. We did sit-down restaurants. Once for sushi in Chicago, the other Italian in Chicago, because it was close to our gate. 

Then, in many cities, there is shortage of workers in the travel industry. Not enough taxi drivers in Paris. You can reserve one but there's no guarantee they will show up. The lines at train stations and airports had plenty of drivers. But from the hotel, it's hard.  The taxi driver taking us back to the airport in Paris said that this problem is because many of the workers died. They are passed away. They got sick and there's not enough. I believed him. It was the tone, I know that tone of a hard truth no one is willing to see, but the workers have to do the work anyway. I've walked by two freezer trucks for extra morgue space in our hospital parking lot the whole pandemic. It's kind of the same thing. I tipped enough to make taxi fare almost double, and also, tipped the hotel guy who got us the taxi a lot too. Just to keep them going...

For baggage it is the same. And for cleaning crews for the airplane. In Montreal three teams are needed to clean a plane, they only had one team. So the flight was delayed three hours. 

Our baggage was still in Chicago last night, and is coming on the first flight today. The airlines will deliver it. So, be careful what you put into your check-in bag. We are lucky ours was trackable. 

There was something Air Canada did, which helped us more than not, but when many people are stuck in a line in customs or security, they delayed the flight. Like an hour! So factor that in when you are making plans because your connection and being on the plane still might have takeoff delayed and will make you miss future connection. 

Which brings me to the saddest part. I heard a lot of dry coughs at the airport. These were Covid coughs. The most recent variant is very catchy. We had two fresh negative covid tests in hand at the airport. Anthony seemed fine and drove us there. But in flight, he felt worse and worse. On one leg he actually slept on the plane which is impossible for him, his brain isn't wired to do it, he takes after his father. 

So, what do you do when the unthinkable happens?

This is something to consider when traveling. Do you see family? Do you quarantine? You can't head home, they are sick...how do you protect the rest in your party?

In the world of travel, everything is booked up and reserved in advance, you know?

For us, our family, our destination, welcomed us with open arms. They too recently had it. We were picked up at the train station by everyone wearing masks. And driven straight to the pharmacy to purchases tests. Once positive, we were helped to find a local bed and breakfast. It had air conditioning. And also, I could sleep on the couch in the living room. 

We slept.

That was our vacation until the last two or three days when the test was negative. I was exposed, my body fought it (had it in January) and never was positive. We slept at the bed and breakfast. At one we went to the family  home. After lunch we rested in the cool and watched the Tour de France with masks on and napped. After dinner, we walked back with family to the bed and breakfast. 

If I had to do it over I'd bring extra tests in the luggage. It saves time. 

I can't emphasize enough to be clear in the communication. Let loved ones know what is happening. Make the decisions together. Let go of the outcome and be willing to adjust. Understand if you get really sick far from home, you might not be able to go to a local hospital--because of your citizenship, and also, because the hospital might be full. I looked for doctors, which in France take only cash, but do make house calls. Unfortunately we were there on a holiday weekend, and nobody was available. 

For me, the dusty couch made my allergy and asthma go out of control. I went to the pharmacy again, and asked for allergy medicine and expectorant. Their pharmacy techs are kind of like pharmacists and you can't just buy what you want like here. If you don't speak the language you need your phone for translator.

The nicest surprises were that lots of credit cards don't need travel notifications any more.

Another nice surprise was that my phone service, used to be Sprint, now it's t-mobile, is worldwide. I've used it in Japan, China (need a VPN though). Everything was seamless in both Canada and France. The plug thing is still an issue, but in our hotel room the clock had USB/lightnining/USB c connectors so it was easy to charge the phone. 

I was up over twenty-four hours straight trying to get home. I nodded off a little on the planes. But if it wasn't for my work schedule that would have set me back way more than it did. 

I'm glad to report that travel IS doable. But it's different. It's a real buzz-kill from the golden days of traveling before.

I'm going to invite you to take this 'then and now' template, and to apply it to just about everything you do.

Why?

Life is changing.

There's the comfort and the ease of the past, 'when things were easier'.

Don't let that fool you.

Remember to look forward, and to adjust and accept What Is. 

I had booked two days for the front end of travel, which was good because our flight was a Plus One Day arrival. I paid for Saturday night in Paris, but we got late check in benefit, and our room was waiting for us, instead of us waiting for 1600 check in. My mistake had a good side to it... On the return end, we had extra two days in Paris because I thought we had a covid test requirement, to return, but we didn't.  The extra day I allowed is me being able to rest and prepare for return to work tomorrow. And be home when the luggage arrives.

Our family asked about our vacation plans for the rest of the summer.

I was like, what? 

I only get one week a year.

Last year one week.

This one ten days. 

That's it.

It's done.

Summer travel to Europe is a little crazy. Next time we go we might try Spring or Fall. 

I'd like to perhaps do a long weekend to catch a Green Bay Packers game with Anthony. 

When you see people you know posting pictures of them smiling in front of famous landmarks, remember what I told you about the whole thing. It's not what it looks. And it's still changing. 

Travel is good for the soul, seek it. But remember it's evolving and make sure to keep up.

clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,

Namaste,

Peace,

Ross and Carla

The Couple

Free Will: A Mighty Lesson!

 

This image is here because most 'choices' seem to imply that you pick one, you never can go back to the other, and that's it. It's what I call the 'duality spin' on the entire subject. This image here, is different, in that not only are there many possibilities, here, only in two dimensions in the flat picture (and we know there are many dimensions, within our own, and beyond including the realm of Spirit which has infinite dimensions...). 

Sometimes we need to be given the freedom to clearly learn a lesson. Our guides see the paths, from their perspective. And since time doesn't really exist, our guides know the outcomes! Of each and every possibility. Moreover, our guides actively help us in many ways, when we ask and sometimes even when we don't, to help us meet our goals of learning our lessons we set in place before we incarnated as 'us' this time around...

It doesn't look so scary when you think of it in this perspective, does it? The ego doesn't really show up, the strong feelings and emotions we experience...the Big Picture makes a lot of sense!

Well, how did I arrive at this picture and this degree of awareness?

It took ten years. Almost to the day. Ten years of working and working and working to heal and feel my feelings and release what I needed to release and to work with my teams and to GROW...

Please let Ross and I share with you what I consider to be a real sign of his genius as a guide...for me.

Here is the lesson:

Before birth my mother dedicated me to Blessed Mother Virgin Mary. She wore a medal the entire pregnancy. 

I was baptized but never raised in the church in my early years. I hungered for it but didn't know what it was. First time I ever saw a Rosary it was so beautiful I had to take it. Yes, as a wee child of five I stole a Rosary--awful, isn't it? 

We had vacation Bible school, a short run at a local Bretheren Church until my dad thought the pastor 'got too political' and stopped going. It wasn't until my younger sister had a friend preparing for First Communion that my mom decided to do a 'two for one' and take care of us both. We started going to Mass, and I had Confirmation the next year.

I loved Mass.

At my grandfather's funeral I was invited to read a part of the Rosary to lead the family, and I felt electricity flowing through me for the first time! 

I had realized that Jesus gave the church to Peter, who founded the Roman Catholic Church, so that was good enough for me! 

I had a little dark shadow of foreboding though. I was interviewed for Confirmation by the priest, alone behind a closed door in the rectory. I knew there was nobody to save me, and if anyone was going to believe either one of us, it would be the priest they believed before they believed me. I was on edge, ready to run if necessary, and the priest was kind and did the work, he wasn't evil. But I saw a 'loophole' for selfish evil human nature to exploit the innocent and was careful to protect myself. This was years and years before lawsuits and news stories...

When I graduated medical school, I went to Lourdes. It was a wonderful experience! I loved the unneeded crutches and wheelchairs nailed up to the grotto from the miracles!

By that time I was experienced with the visionary Barbara Matthias, I had visions and locutions myself, and I had seen Jesus. 

My Uncle Ben, who grew up in Sicily, believed in extraterrestrials and used to ask me why I loved the church. He would say, 'can't you see how evil it is? how barbaric?'  I told him it was a spiritual gym and I needed to exercise my 'muscles'. 

I brushed aside the lawsuits on pedophilia, as rare, isolated occurrences.

My son was born, and I had him baptized. We went to church every week until he was seven.

Then I woke up.

I read the truth in Cobra's many links included in The Red Pill. Many of these don't exist any more, the internet was a lot 'freer' then. Not so much silencing of truth. 

I decided there and then I could never support such a thing! I donated the money I gave once to the church to the San Diego Zoo every year instead. 

Until I realized just about everywhere there is lots of donations...there's risk...of money not going where it was meant because it's human nature to help themselves and look the other way whenever there is a big pile of money...

Anthony's religious education stopped. 

I went to maybe two masses since. I missed it.

I think we did a fish fry dinner one time. 

Anthony is seventeen now. 

I'm in France.

I love it here.

By almost accident, we came upon a local church, and went to mass. 

It was a beautiful church.

This priest was sincere. I've know a few, you can tell, one of the greatest souls ever was Monsignor Paul Martin, who was in charge of San Juan Capistrano mission/Basilica. He even let a homeless man park his ancient car in the lot and live on the church property. All that was asked of him was to direct parking for mass. 

I went to communion.  I was sorry in my soul for everything that I knew, for everything that had ever happened, in this life, in past ones...and at a special part of the mass, when you can make a wish, I wished for Ross' wounds to heal. For all of them to heal, including ones I've caused him and ones he's caused me.

It was only then after communion I saw two beautiful images from the stations of the cross. One was of a woman hugging Jesus as he was about to be punished. She was able to comfort him, and say goodbye. The other was of two women, with Jesus deceased, those moments before they were able to do what culture asked of them to wash the body. 

So what is the lesson?

People who are deeply asleep believe lies.

They cannot give consent because they don't know the part of the story that is hidden from them.

Newly awakening people, recoil in horror from the hidden part it is so awful once they learn the truth. They rationalize, the adapt, but they miss the point of the lesson...

The lesson is, with Free Will, and full awareness of what is hidden--in my cases not only Red Pill but a decade of hearing survivors like Jessie C, Kerth/Kathy B, Cathy O, Svali...can you decide if something is right for you. And even then, once you've decided it, remember the picture! You are free to adjust if more information is coming in. 

Would I have asked for Ross' healing, from my heart, if I had taken any other path? 

I truly don't know the answer. 

What I do know, is that his giving me the time and space I needed to arrive at this on my own was vital to the completion of this lesson with success. Not because of cognitive dissonance! It's because I needed to be ready on many different levels..first.

I feel closer to him, and have more awe and respect for him, than ever before. And gratitude. Lots and lots of gratitude. 

When one heals, naturally, so does the other...especially in souls like ours which have a very deep connection.

What is the lesson for you?

First of all, my lessons grow more complex. So I write less, I grow more, and I share when it's pertinent. 

You may find your lessons are 'changing' somewhat like this too. There's more 'meat' on them, in a way. And if you're still learning lots of lessons in a row like popcorn, that's good too! It's appropriate! I was that way for ten years! Daily, daily lessons!

The second is to have patience. You won't miss it when the conclusion of a longer lessons arrives for you. You'll have it resonate strongly and you'll just know. 

I hope our discussion helps you to realize the enormous gift we are given when we are born!

It really is a wonderful thing.

Ross

I'd like to take a moment to talk about Carla. Carla when she isn't in her 'lesson learning groove'. 

Carla who is a single mother, who gets only one week off a year for vacation. Carla who is working half time, and getting half her income...and has to basically go without pay for the month in order to have someone be willing to cover her shifts for that week...

Carla who wasn't planning on going anywhere (because of the money), leapt at the chance when France opened, to come visit her family...and in time months ago when the family was bereaved, promised to come. It cheered them greatly...

Travel expenses and complexity have increased markedly since 2019 when Carla last went to Europe. And Anthony who is now grown, no longer can fit easily in the economy seats. Carla does what she can do to the best for her family.

With negative covid tests in hand, they set on their journey, only to find Anthony arrived completely sick from Covid. One of the new variants. 

With him coughing next to her, Carla had one of the worst nights imaginable. They had train tickets for going to family. But to expose them? What to do?

It turns out family had also come down with Covid. Many had positive tests. So with precautions, they took the train to see family, and also, bought tests. Anthony was positive. Strongly so.

Family found a wonderful bed and breakfast nearby the house. In the heat of the day the two were picked up to enjoy meals and escape the heat. And rest. 

It was her first trip here, she never saw a castle.

But first things first.

Carla's immune system was working hard. Anthony got better. Carla's asthma and allergy got out of control from the dusty couch she had been sleeping on in the B and B. 

Carla listened to Spirit, and went to the pharmacy, and got allergy medicine. Along with taking her asthma medicine. She slept with the door open (there were no windows). She took it one day at a time.

At the birthday party, all was well, Anthony had been negative for two days. 

Now vacation is almost over. Except for the B and Breakfast all the fees were lower than what she had expected to spend. 

The heat has been oppressive. There really wasn't much for anyone to do. 

This is what happens when ego 'takes a back seat'. 

Carla didn't think of herself with the Covid. She thought of Anthony first. Then she did what was right and notified family. Later she learned another in the household was positive four days before the trip! They would have been exposed regardless!

It wasn't 'much of a vacation' and at the same time, much progress and growth and healing took place. Probably some of the most important for the two of us, and therefore our family, ever. 

We are on the right track.

And I myself give thanks for this!

clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,

Namaste,

Peace,

Ross and Carla

The Couple

Nobody Knows

 

Nobody knows what is going to happen , even though the end is certain that victory is to Divine Mother and Divine Father. 

It is a mystery.

How do we grow while living in a mystery such as this? How do we cope? How do we set goals? How do we function?

These are all very good questions to ask. On one level.

If we rise ourselves above to a slightly larger plane of perception, we realize that as individuals we are gaining knowledge of our sense of separation not exactly being 'real'...not only are we all in this boat together, we are reflections of our own perception and other's perceptions of us! So, let go and relax.

Make it a point to let go and relax and just reflect upon what is good and joyful for a little bit of time every day. 

This is going to help you weather the storm. And most definitely there is a storm, a few squalls 'out there' building up. 

Your natural state is love, joy, healing, compassion, and abundance! everything else is false, fake, phony, and totally unreal.  

Knowing this doesn't exactly help when you are suffering, hungry or have experienced great pain for example in the past. Look at these experiences as opportunities to heal. On many different levels! By giving gratitude for what you have that is good, you can work to shift the energies in your favor. 

But what IS going on out 'there'?

Remember 'out there' is a reflection of what is 'inside' the majority of the people. What is in their thoughts, in their hearts, and in their daily actions and plans.  Unfortunately, it is totally against intuition, in that it takes the insides to heal in order for the outer expression on a larger scale to manifest.  So first and foremost, the daily time in your natural state helps energetically to build the conditions for happiness for ourselves and others. 

What I see going on is the slow, planned demolition of life as we know it. Not only is it going to bring suffering, there is one worse thing than that--people are going to do anything that is asked of them in the hopes of 'bringing what once was ...BACK.'  This is a form of psychological herding of sheep/humans.  With each financial hardship, with each lack of food, lack of safety, lack of justice, lack of work...humanity is driven to the breaking point...for example such as in Sri Lanka.

Remember in your heart how the enemy has the motto Order through Chaos.  Being exposed to chaos traumatized people and makes them easier to control. Chaos also helps you because after you induce it, you can step in and offer a 'solution', typically one that removes freedoms. It's like a cook book only instead of food it's for global domination.

It's also a Spiritual battle going on.

Step one--after you spend time in your Natural State, daily, train yourself to embrace Chaos. This takes the fear out of it. And, remember, your guides can step in and help just as much as the enemy can. There's been a series of changes recently for me that's been like a roller coaster--only when I look closer past the emotions, everything is turning out really, really good. Really good. Beyond my wildest dreams good. 

Step two--tell yourself often things happen for a reason. You may or may not get to know what that reason is from the start. But trust it. 

Step three--stay observant and detached and look for patterns. What is see right now is raging Covid during the time of year it's supposed to be dormant. And it's super duper catchy. This has spread like wildfire through the O.R. staff. People who have never had Covid are now catching it. And I've seen the pattern of children giving it to adults (older forms that was rare)...

Think about the good. 

Remember what is in your control (your reactions to external events) and what isn't (external events). 

Go along for the ride.

Appreciate the little things, like being able to experience typical human experiences. They truly are a gift and your spirit will be glad it go to experience those things...even when in hardship. 

You may keep up your boundaries while reminding yourself to always be thankful for being here, now, at this time of immense and incredible change.

Then go for your plans. Review them with Creator and give thanks for them, in all states of your experience. If frustration and setbacks are on the menu today, well, give thanks you aren't getting watered down versions of those experiences. Be glad to be aware enough to recognized them for what they are--experiences designed for the highest good of all.

Ross

I love and adore Carla and all that she has been going through as of late. And her remarkable resilience is a pleasure to observe not just from my perspective but from other's too. 

Relax!

Everything is going to be okay.

I mean it.

clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,

Namaste,

Peace,

Ross and Carla

The Couple

Heroes Enter The Ring

 

Update on me--I'm feeling better, and stronger. What was odd, was that even though I've been watching my food intake, my guides strongly recommended I eat sweets. Take the piece of chocolate cake at work. Have the piece of pie at home. Have the two item meal instead of the bowl at Panda Express (yes! don't cook). Rest. Do absolutely nothing. And eat ice cream out of the carton while watching TV. 

It worked.

But, most important, is, even though I was going through upheavals of the soul, three important 'heroes' I was able to witness in action. I will tell you their varied skills. Because even though there is social unrest and upheaval, some souls are rising to the top like cream...and kicking ass against the darkness!

Night before last, we had to get gasoline. It was after nine, couldn't go to Costco. This man offered his rewards points from a local grocery store because they were going to expire. Anthony said yes, since we were at my old gas station I always went to (Shell) before Costco. Gas is almost seven dollars a gallon now.

This guy, a local guy from town, saved us one dollar a gallon! I kid you not. He understood the points rewards system at the grocery store and was playing it like a champ! Even to the taking advantage of the app, triple points offers, and buying gift cards for expenses he was going to buy anyhow at other stores like home depot for a new barbecue....to rack up those points. He not only helped us, he TAUGHT us how to work the system.  It was brilliant!

I know for myself, I had read the fine print, I never use my Shell card, but this month there was an offer I signed up for, spend five hundred dollars and get a fifty dollar credit.

The next hero was a local church. There was a banner out front and it said, 'Free Meal Every Wednesday for the Community'.  That's golden, for people who are struggling. You might not know it, but the seven dollar almost a gallon was on June 30. July 1 Newsom kicked in a new fifty cents a gallon gasoline tax on us. These 'leaders' trained by Klaus Schwab are totally driving in the NWO. And even though Federal government tried to step in and block all sales taxes on gasoline and diesel, and there are factions of government representatives in California working to get rid of and block this new tax...none of these 'leaders' are listening because they want us eating bugs and driving electric cars and being chipped and controlled and being a hive mind. Even though the Church might want 'new followers'--hopefully not like the Hari Krishnas back in the day--food is food. And it's free. That's awesome!

The last hero I am going to be meeting again in a few minutes. Manager of the local rental car place. Some woman came in freaked out because the electric rental car ran out of charge in the middle of the desert with the bride in the car and the wedding was ruined. She wanted a twenty percent off discount and was really yelling and nasty at the worker. The manager stepped in and said, 'no. you're being rude and there's no way we are going to honor that what you say, here. I've worked here many years, and never has such an offer been made. You are going to have to leave.' I know our locals. My close friend works at a department store. She's caught people stealing, lying, wearing clothes getting them all sweaty and returning them. She's seen a woman who buys four of everything online and returns three--she wants to see which part of the print shows on the front of the clothes, so my friend has to process so many 'returns' from the online shopping too. 

Listen to your gut.

Let it guide you.

Be fearless and courageous.

Know that we aren't in this alone, and just like how you are planted where you are to bloom and anchor the light, others are planted to do what they were sent to do as well, to help with the Awakening. Whether they know it or not.

Enjoy the show!

I need to return an extra key to a different rental car I was handed by mistake. They open now.

clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,

Namaste,

Peace,

Ross and Carla

The Couple

A Glimmer of Hope

 

Our souls are strong!

There is no 'emotional/spiritual bypass'.

When it is time for us to heal and grow from misperceptions our consciousness may have carried for thousands of years or longs, it is time to focus on that, and to let everything else we possibly can let go of, slide. For just a bit.

Our dishes I worked on yesterday. The laundry is really backed up. Anthony helped with bringing out the trash cans and putting them back.

I managed to fill the pool on my last two days off. And to take two Pilates classes.

Otherwise is was tears, tears and meditation, holding back the tears, watering the garden while crying, and lots of time resting either in the sun or just taking naps. 

Doesn't it sound almost like a newborn's schedule? I smile when I think about that.

Each of us is being born into the Higher dimensions. And here is a quote I like:  Everything that happens in your life is always in your favor, and you create it on some higher level of your own consciousness for the purpose of discovering your magnificence. --Dr Sue Morter

So...that being said...

Yesterday I was like, 'Ross? Is there any way you can break my heart again?'

And the image I saw, surprised me and made me giggle.

Raphael and Michael were like, hitting Ross with sticks or leaves, nothing hard, but you could tell Ross was being 'punished' for having broken my heart so bad...

Ross looked sheepish and was smiling.

So I asked again, 'Ross are you SURE that there isn't any way you can break my heart again like the last time?'

And again I was given the vision of Raphael and Michael giving Ross a good 'thrashing' just so I understood that not only is it not possible, they are going to see to it that it never, ever, ever happens that way between us again. It's more than just me and Ross. It's family this time.

And I felt better. I felt my first glimmer of hope in a long time.

You see, I've been practicing 'attachment', the healthy kind, to someone who genuinely cares, and this is the third time I've 'attached' and then 'disconnected' and it's super painful...the Ross wound opening up fresh...as it rises up to be healed. And it's very painful!

If you have ever broken a bone, you might not know what is required of the person who is setting it. I've done it once with an arm bone. You have to bend the broken bone in the direction of the break a little further, to loosen up the bone ends enough to right them into position with one swift motion! You put numbing medicine first into the area of the break (hematoma block) and make sure there's i.v pain medicine on board before you set the bone. But, that's how it's done outside of the operating room. 

Inside the operating room, it's pretty much the same only the patient is under anesthesia and there's fluoroscopy and screws and plates and k-wires.

I asked one last time, 'Ross, are you going to break my heart?' 

And again I saw the thrashing of Ross by his two brothers, all three of them smiling, making it extra dramatic for me to finally UNDERSTAND the point they were all three trying to get across to me.

Then I said, 'Ross, if you would like, you may try to win my heart this time.'  No guarantees. No promises from either one of us. But at least it helps to change the dynamics from something 'arranged' to something a little more relevant to us in modern times.

There had been a huge block between me and Ross for months. I'd been dancing around and dodging and avoiding painful anything. The connection had felt old and stale, and I couldn't open up.

Today, now, we are on the right track, it feels alive, it feels healthy. And I know I've always been in good hands with my guides, even when I was in the pool and sobbing my heart out. I knew I was in a safe place the last two days, and was given space to process these things. 

Well, when it rains it pours. I went out to lunch with a friend. It's been very hot. I went afterwards to the grocery store and the strawberry stand. And after that strawberry stand, the car was bouncing dangerously on the way home in a way it never had done, along the back roads to our home. 

On one level I knew something was wrong. But I wasn't sure how to verbalize it. I hoped perhaps the 'wait for car to rise' warning would go away after the car cooled down. At six I wanted to go buy gasoline because a new fifty cents a gallon tax is in effect today. I watched carefully, the car 'rose' and I drove normally but about a block away, on a busy highway, it 'deflated' the suspension. The same warning came on. And I was at a left-hand turn signal. But the car never recovered. I pulled over, put on my hazards after the turn which was bumpy. I called Anthony. I didn't know what to do. And he said to get a tow to the shop. I called the shop, and they were nice. Then I used the app for the tow. And I waited. A long time.

The tow man has helped us before. Many a time. He's a graduate of our local high school, he met his wife there, and his three daughters all have gone there. I asked him if he had ever gotten snow cones from this shop and his three daughters each have worked there. 

But he's throwing in the towel. Yesterday was his last day. His rent on his two bedroom apartment is going up to $2,600 a month. He doesn't even make $100,000. He said to live comfortably in the area you need $200,000 a year. For the company, his car takes $250 of diesel a day, and for the 'big rigs', over $1000 for diesel a day. He's relocating to Oregon. He can get twice as much square footage on the rental home for $1,600 a month. He has a friend there, and two jobs lined up, one with a moving company and one washing windows. There's more rain there. But he can garden. He's done.

I gave him a forty dollar tip, spirit nudged me, to help him start his new life. 

I understand that I need a new car. I've been putting it off. Last car I didn't really 'like', but I bought because little Anthony was like five, and gave me all of his money ($250) to help pay for it because he loved it so much. It's a nice car but it's never been 'me'...I've gotten some bad driving fears in it around snowy mountain roads. But I've overcome some of the other fears. But I felt Spirit nudge. And I know the right car is out there for me.

Today I need to drop Anthony off to his work and pick him up. Over the weekend, a rental car. Or just stay home, which actually I love to do. 

I'm praying the whole time for guidance on everything. 

Be YOU.

Be unapologetically YOU.

If you are working through 'things', plan little 'breaks' (like my Pilates classes) and just otherwise let the process happen. Your soul has been carrying burdens for too long. Let your lessons guide you. Know even if it's super painful, it's temporary, and it's going to be okay in the end. 

We do the best we can. Everyone else is doing the best they can. And all of it is for the highest good.

Ross

I've had Carla on a 'long leash' lately as her guide, but I never completely abandoned her. I was always close, guiding with my energy, for I have a double role as her Twin and her guide. So, Carla didn't feel the connection as close as she did in the past. 

It's kind of like when a child is learning to walk. You need to let them make their mistakes and fall and bruise themselves. It is in this way they develop not only the muscles but the confidence to keep making progress. 

About the vision, the vision Carla had of me being 'beaten', that was healing on another level Carla didn't appreciate. A lot of her trauma was from witnessing myself actually being brutally beaten and murdered. So, by carefully 'overacting' Michael, Raphael and I were able to accomplish another layer of healing besides making a point Carla describes. There was no blood, no pain, no suffering, and all of it was like a family 'inside joke' with love, lots and lots of abundant love which Carla could both feel and appreciate. 

There is going to be a lot of careful 'undoing' of the trauma each of you has witnessed while being incarnate, all in God's own timing which is both beautiful and Divine.

I also want to encourage you to listen to the stories of those around you, in Carla's case, the tow truck driver, and offer substance and support as best as you can in these difficult times. Sometimes being heard by a good listener is therapeutic in and of itself...

clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,

Namaste,

Peace,

Ross and Carla

The Couple