Thursday, December 29, 2016

A Breakthrough

Yesterday morning, I woke up with a new emotion in response to what was expected of me. I knew in my heart, that for the next twenty-four hours I was at the mercy of my hospital.  I was on call. And anything goes--in the middle of the night--I have to stay up and do the case. It's my turn. The buck stops here. And I never know what I'm going to get, you know? 

On a good night, I finish my lineup of cases, and go home to my bed, and sleep all night. (this is in fact what happened, fortunately!)

Only this time I woke up and I felt overwhelming love for Ross!

It was protective, to me, somehow, though I didn't understand it. But I knew in my heart that if I focused on my love for him, no matter what happened in the course of my call, I would be OKAY.

I enjoyed feeling the closeness to him.

I saw amazing things in my day, too. I worked with kind people. I was able to help some who were so terrified of their procedures that when it was done and they hadn't felt anything they kept giving thanks!  I was also able to smile and comfort those who were dying and very sick, through the course of my work. 

The most amazing thing was giving the bracelet to the anxious nurse whose daughter had lost hers. We had spoken in the lunch room the day before, and she said that she didn't understand how she could feel the bracelet and how it just 'made everything better'?  I confessed I know I need them for me, and I go through about one bracelet a week with my rate of growth. It helps.

While I was making her bracelet (she bumped in line, spirit had hers go first)--I was struck with the realization that she was an empath, with no training, and anxious because of the overwhelm of picking 'everything up' that was going on emotionally around her. So the bracelet also has the blessing of Archangel Michael, and was given to her with the Empath's Prayer to write and repeat as necessary, 'if it's not mine Lord, please take it away.'

She smiled and didn't even know who Archangel Michael was. She wrote it all down. I assured her she is 'normal' but with a 'gift' and she will learn how to use her 'gift' when she wants to, and not to have it bombard her from 360 degrees as it has been. 

She said she can pick up a whole room, all the details, what is going on, at once, and she's always been that way...

The most beautiful part of my day yesterday was I felt Ross' love trickling through the veil to me.

It warmed my heart to really FEEL it, undiluted, unaltered, unchanged, from the original love in his heart he has for me up in Heaven (or wherever he happens to be at the moment!).

I mentioned to him how wonderful it is, how it feels...and he smiled, and after a pause asked me if I would please write about it?

I did.

Off and on throughout the day, I felt warmth washing over me, familiar warmth, from my angel, my beloved, my husband and Twin, Ross.

There was reassurance in his love that kept me going.

I think there is going to be more of this from all of them 'in the rafters' coming to us, and I know Ross wants you to be prepared to receive it.

This is from Divine Father.

I had a concern about when things are asked of us. I had a concern about how if a person who is not making progress in their lessons, asks for something which if we give it might keep them stuck in their lessons, what are we to do?

For example, giving money to a street person who is likely to use it for drugs, is a very clear cut example...but not the one I encountered.

Divine Father says to focus on what is asked of you; not to worry about the lessons of others besides you, and furthermore, not to worry about the impact of YOUR actions on THEIR lessons.

Divine Mother nods yes in agreement.

I have their full support in saying 'you concentrate on you and your lessons, and when something is asked, as long as you resonate with your response to the request it's okay to go ahead and act.'

One more thing.

I always care about you.

Ross always cares about you.

Ross can be in millions of places at the same time, because he is disincarnate.

I can't.

I am up at four thirty in the morning, I work a full day, and I have responsibilities to my patients and my son. He is active in sports, and takes music lessons. I spend much time coordinating his schedule for him--because of my work assignments which can be short or long depending on the day, and because of his co-parenting schedule time with his father.

On a given day, I have a number of requests--messages and the like.

I'm not sitting in front of a computer.  I'm not paid to do this healing work, at least not with earthly dollars and benefits and a retirement plan and a stock package, lol.

I do the best I can.

Sometimes I forget...and I need a reminder.

Sometimes I notice your request is outside my 'scope of practice' and I will refer you out to someone more capable.

To make it clear, any request of 'what angel am I?'--it's not my line of healing work, and it's not my place to answer those inquiries of total strangers who contact me online. As a matter of fact, I blocked all comments to that blog post and took it down off the 'buttons' because a number of people who aren't willing to 'do the work' and commit to reading the blogs and following me online just felt like they had a right to 'contact me and ask' . I got a LOT of those! LOL.

The true answer to any such request is, when you do the work and raise your vibration enough, you won't have to ask me! LOL. You'll just KNOW!

Another place I can't help is people in crisis. They need professional help, from trained experts in the field. I don't have the training to treat online--not even in person!--for psychological or emotional conditions.  These I place gently in the loving arms of Divine Mother and Divine Father, and I pray for help, face to face help, to manifest for these desperate souls.

I am a single mother, who works full time to support the family, and I do the best I can with the Divine Healing Codes, with all the YouTube, with all the online presence, and I love you with all my heart.

Ross does too.


I invited Carla, my request, was for her to share this very special photo that she took on her first honeymoon--in 1988--in Kauai at the cemetery just in Kapaa.

There was a beautiful ocean view, and Carla enjoyed taking photos, so she and Mark L. S. her first husband, stopped off there.

Her heart opened when she saw this rendering of me. For she knew me, just like anyone else does, from her catechism and rosaries and for the little cross she wore as a child her mother said would keep the nightmares away.

Carla's heart opened to the beauty of the love of the people of Hawaii, with the flowers, in their pure and total love for me. It felt 'right' the way they honored me in their way. More 'right' than anything else she has ever seen for me.

Carla had wanted me to be a part of her marriage to Mark. They went to church every week, for mass. And Carla knew in her heart, without My presence, and without a couple willing to pray together with their hearts, a marriage is doomed to fail.

So for her part, with seeing this image and opening her heart as full as it would open with love and compassion, Carla invited Me into her marriage, whether or not Mark would. (Mark SAID he did, so did Frank, years later--but their ACTIONS spoke to the opposite).

And later, much much later, through Mark's family she met Barbara Matthias, a known visionary of Mary, and through that, began her long journey of automatic writing, seeing and being guided by my mother...and getting to medical school.

Carla went through two husbands--both of whom went to mass with her but never opened their hearts to me to the same degree Carla did--they couldn't (nobody can! Carla has the inside 'edge' on everyone in that!)  (he chuckles softly--ed) but Carla didn't know I am waiting for her to cross the finish line.

Limping and weeping, through her feeling freakish for her psychic ability as a physician, and in sorrow over her sharing her son in a household that was NOT like the one where she grew up, Carla found Reiki. Carla found Reiki through Tim Braun who sent her to Anne Reith, PhD...and now Carla has found her strength!

Just like she did in helping the healing at her hospital, both with the nurse who is an empath and doesn't know what an empath IS--and her patients--as well as her doctors and nurses.

In the procedure room--an outside of the operating room anesthesia site for someone claustrophobic, everything was setting up. The coordinator nurse specialist walked in a little late, took one look at Carla working away, and sighed a huge sigh of relief and said, 'my FAVORITE!' He knew she would do a good job and all would be fine.  (he holds one finger up to make a point--ed--I'm listening too)

If he only knew.

If he only knew the wealth of surprises that was hidden in my woman who keeps her mouth shut and doesn't say boo about me to anybody! Unless they are her students and they ask very nicely, I may add. <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

(he clears his throat--ed)

Carla has a long road to me. I have made it clear. And Carla, once she has a taste of it, is going to RUN with open arms to me at the finish line in the higher realms!

Her blue shield is making the environment more favorable for her, it is like a bell that keeps the oxygen for you when you are diving under water--you are able to breathe and observe through that thick bell-shaped glass, and nothing can get to you. Not even a shark who tries to aim!

And aim they will, as that is what sharks do. It is their nature.

Watch for more. I want you to 'don't touch this dial' and enjoy the show--of what Carla is doing every single day, walking and sometimes jogging herself for the long haul closer to me--and enjoy the changes in her perception which may frequently be like your own, only you don't know it and haven't noticed it yet!

(he smiles a great big warm smile--ed)

clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,

Ross and Carla
The couple

Wednesday, December 28, 2016

Recent Developments

At work the anxious RN let her daughter wear her bracelet, and her daughter lost it. It's in her daughter's room but they have to clean the room to find it.   Now the anxious one is starting to lose her calm and composure, and she asked me yesterday, 'will you please make me another bracelet, I need it!'

I said, 'it makes everything better, doesn't it, the bracelet?'

She said, astonished, 'yes! from the moment I put it on it, it....'

I cut in, 'just made everything okay?'

'YES! Exactly!' she exclaimed.

I told her that's why I go through about one a week, my energy is changing that rapidly. And I asked her to try on my verdite one. I was looking for the energy match. She thought it was beautiful, but she wasn't ready yet for her kundalini to open up. I told her I am working on it to open it, but she needs a few steps in between.

She emphasized, 'I will PAY YOU' for the next bracelet.

I made her an emergency one last night before bed. While making it I realized a large portion of her anxiety stems from her being an empath and not knowing it. She picks up everything and that makes her stress.

She can't go back to the old bracelet, although it is her request and when I can find the pattern I will recreate it for her. But as her energy medicine, she is ready for the new one.

The Loving Embrace Of Gaia Shield has been installed on a handful of people. It was a joy to create each one. If you have an interest please direct message me on FB or email me at

My shield had the acid test yesterday. Mom was sick. Anthony was worried. She was watching him while I was at work. I contacted my sisters, because when she's sick she gets worse in a hurry. I asked for Reiki from our team of healers, by making a formal Reiki Request.  I stayed calm, and was able to get Anthony to get mom to start taking her inhaler. A sister called her at noon and said she 'didn't cough once' through the call.  I came home with a heavy heart, ready but sad to have to spend hours and hours in an emergency room even more miles away from my home because that's where mom's doctors are. I asked Raphael and Ross to be with me as I stepped out of the car.

Mom surprised me. She looked better than I thought. And her lungs were clear, there were no signs of pneumonia.

Then out came her crap.

Out came all of her emotional imbalance that had lead up to this.

How she gets all worked up over Christmas because in Italy they didn't give gifts. How as a young newlywed she had to buy gifts for everyone in dad's family (over forty people), then after four years, only for the kids (I have eleven cousins), and then, after that, for HER kids (I always felt inadequate for not being able to buy you something nice).

As an aside, I had picked up her hatred of Christmas by osmosis as an innocent child. She would go into debt and she and dad would have to pay the bills until May to get caught up. They never were able to save in advance. I recall her getting up early to cook--and she wasn't the best cook--and crying all morning from five a.m. until we woke up over her hating the work that was expected of her.

She never asked for help, not once.

She could have. We would have been happy to help. And we did offer. But she'd say, 'get out of my kitchen'.

There you have it. Almost sixty years of toilet water that's been sloshing around in her head, beating herself for 'not being able to buy you gifts like a new car' at Christmas.

It was the unmet EXPECTATION that was making her sick!!!

The albuterol helped her lungs calm down.

But then came the next wave of her anguish:  how come I am treated when I get sick like I did something WRONG?!

She said it like a four year old. That is where she is at emotionally, deep inside, probably where most of us are.  I see it a lot in my work. I saw it in a grown man yesterday. The fear.

I was calm.

I said, 'Mom, since Day One with your kidney transplant, you have needed to go to the ER for anything that comes up, even a sniffle, because this is what is normal for transplant patients who are immunosuppressed.  You still don't get it. You haven't gotten it since Day One. Illness in those who are immunosuppressed can travel faster than normal, and be very dangerous. That is why we want you to go check it out.' and 'Your track record, as you have said in your own words, 'I gave myself enough rope to hang myself'--of decision-making when you are sick has not been the best...there might be something we can fix with antibiotic pills if we catch it early, but you wait and next thing you know you are in the hospital with three days of i.v. antibiotics.'

She agreed.

Then she said, 'Why is everyone always wanting to help me and take me to the doctor? I feel WEAKNESS, like I am not good enough when people do that.'

I turned it around.

In my loudest voice (she has significant hearing damage--and 'isn't ready yet' for a hearing aid--she's had the audiology tests two years ago which showed much loss), I said, 'You are the most popular person I know. People who like popular people want to help as a sign of respect. This 'problem' of people checking up on you and caring is the 'curse' that goes along with being popular'.

And she laughed.

She had never looked at it that way, and as a person, mom is very into understanding 'being cursed'.

I told her it's going to be quick when she goes. Whatever infection she has is going to move fast and we won't be in time. But this time, I think it's her asthma exacerbation, and not pneumonia.

We spoke with her advice nurse on the phone, and first thing in the morning mom is going to call to make a phone appointment or a regular one. We both agreed Urgent Care wasn't going to help her more than that, and would probably take as long to be seen anyways.

Anthony and I waited an extra two hours just in case her doctor would call in a prescription and we would drive her to her twenty-four hour pharmacy.

They never called.

My boy and I were extremely drained when we came home. Dealing with the elderly, particularly my mother, can be more challenging than my work, which in itself is a challenge. Mom says she can see my work is 'getting to me' and asked me how it makes me feel. I said I feel like I am asked to cheat death for my patients more and more, almost every case, and they have no clue just how close to dying I am taking them by agreeing to give them anesthesia (with all of their multiple medical conditions)--they have no clue and expect me to just do it like that (snapping my fingers) every single day.

I guess it's almost like that with mom too. She's terrified of the doctors as far as being sick and needing the hospital, yet, it's our forcing her to go when she's toxic and septic is thankfully what had been keeping her alive.

Even now as I write this, my blue shield is working beautifully.

I was exposed to mom's battery acid of self-hate, self-contempt, the real nitty gritty behind her illness:  her expectation of America being the Land Of Plenty as an immigrant and her being Upper Middle Class because of dad's college education not being met, and her COMPARISON of herself to others in our neighborhood.

I provided healing, by sharing from the heart, 'Mom, I never would have known we were poor if you hadn't said it. I thought all of our Christmases were just fine.'

I was never so glad to celebrate Hanukkah as I did with Anthony last night. He got yet another pair of Star Wars Socks, but instead of an ornament for the tree (I got a menorah, and the next night a scrub top one. We skipped day one due to his being away).  It felt warm with the candles, and real. And Ross was present, I knew.

My shield didn't break in direct exposure to my mother,  my biggest weakness from being a child in her care--and her toxic emotions--because the shield is good. It was like a windshield of a car, I could watch the interaction, and act from a place of healing, and NONE NONE NONE of her toxic energy came 'in'. 

I still love her, deeply.

She is a troubled woman, and is having a hard time healing her wounds--most people acknowledge them, release it and move on. She holds on tight. 

She is trapped in a torture of proving she 'isn't a burden'.  She won't accept a gift, she always pays you back for it--so I lie and say things cost five dollars because she doesn't know. 

She won't let love IN. She won't accept the good side of Christmas because of her expectations which were from before I was born, and haven't been met. She won't understand how rich she is to have been given her family--until she crosses over.  

It is our hope, both of us, me and Ross, that YOU will be able to lift the fog of what is holding YOU back, by learning from my mom and her expectations, and how it connects to her stress and her not being able to breathe--to her being in the hospital every December, since 1999--because of what's going on in her mind-body connection.

And THANK YOU for the Reiki. I didn't have to spend the night with Anthony in the ER.

They Heard Me

 I don't know who these people are. I've never read of them. I don't like that one's name is 'Carla' like me.

I don't like how they 'went someplace' and 'all saw something together' since in our teaching, Ross' and mine--we don't go for the 'super-duper-natural WOW factor' even though we work with it--and we always taught, 'go within, go within, go within and see with your eyes that SEE'...we want you not to read about these experiences but to go on and have such experiences in a loving positive way YOURSELF!

But for all you have it, while I was creating and discovering the Loving Embrace of Gaia, which is crystalline blue--these people saw and reported this on the same day:

I discovered mine early in the morning, on my first case, probably around eight thirty PST.

Last night I was talking to Adama as I fell asleep.  He gave me a gift of Agarthan Reiki in I think January 2013. I have taught many students, who are doing their Agarthan Reiki daily.

He is good.

Then there's Kryon, in Las Vegas of all places, saying, 'nothing is decided yet'. I'm sorry, read John Smallman, and you will know EVERYTHING has been decided a long time ago, by US, our Higher Selves and Creator. It's just not sure WHEN it will come down. And Ross has told us when it does it will be a Double Wow for both his teams and us.

Then there's this:

Whatever! LOL.  Enough of the intrigue. It's time for work. I take Anthony to his father today. There's no school. I hope he gets his homework done. He's been putting it off and I'd hate for it to dampen our New Year's weekend.

By the way, Gaia's color is blue. Light blue. That light comes FROM Her.

If you ever see it.

Aloha and Mahalos,

Ross and Carla

(he's always by my side while I write, and helps me decide what to write first. Not the words, but the topics, in what order. I have to rush so he's taking a break. Smiling that gorgeous smile and waving such a welcoming wave to you.)

Monday, December 26, 2016

Clarity Through Compassion

This is one lesson I wish to give credit to my mother, for she is the one, through her watching lots of inspirational stuff on TV (she is a shut in and doesn't drive)--helped open my eyes.

The situation was harsh at my work. Many doctors are starting to lose it, with their temper, in the OR. I get yelled at a lot these days. One, who is notorious for throwing instruments, just got written up by the tech and nurse who were present in the room.

It's uncomfortable.

I was like, 'mom? what's WITH those surgeons?!'

Mom explained it this way, 'Carla, you live in a modest home, and your mortgage is not too big. You have your son, and your life is pretty much set. You need to look at it through the other people's eyes. We are entering a time of CHAOS, and everything is falling apart at the seams...this is expected...and COMPASSION is the way to make it through. Take these surgeons for example--they have huge financial commitments, their business, with the office staff and insurance and fees, then their family, with a wife who married a DOCTOR and isn't going to be happy shopping at JC Penny for her clothes (a trophy wife) and four kids, a huge mortgage, and possibly a mistress on the side. No wonder why they are lashing out as the financial pressure on them is great and medicine as a business isn't what it was twenty years ago. Can you see? Can you find the compassion in your heart to look beyond the emotional outbursts to the total situation, at least so you will understand the Big Picture, and know it's not 'at you'?'

It helped.

It really really helped a LOT.

There is a lesson I learned from Tim Braun which dovetails nicely into this lesson. I'm going to put them together and give an example or two to help it make sense.

People you know are each on their own life lessons. They make their own choices. The result of their choices is their lesson sequence, which creates a timeline of learning, which only they are at the wheel to control. Their ability to control it is based on their Consciousness, basically, and even if you can 'see' it, your can't DRIVE it for them. It is THEIR life, THEIR life plan/lesson plan, and THEIR Consciousness.

So you just love them, let go, and hope for the best.

Otherwise you get sucked in. That isn't pleasant. And it takes the focus off your OWN lesson plans.

In my family, my Loving Embrace of Gaia shield was working very hard over the holiday.  Through the application of Compassion and the Lesson of Tim, I was able to detach with love.

I must admit it was very painful to watch my mother, who in her lesson, is feeling the pain of her choices and the situation. I also am thankful to Ross, who showed me the true miracle of Christmas--that the cat mother feeds on her front porch, the one she calls Abby, who 'just showed up' when father died--has never been in the house. Otherwise it would be ME who couldn't set foot in the house, like it was thirty years before, when they had Pyrite the most appropriately named cat who was ever on the face of the earth.

The dynamics this time are the sister with the dog (she also was deeply in love with the cat Pyrite when my other sister brought it to the house, completely oblivious to my pain and suffering like the rest of the family). She needs the dog the same way the other sister needed the cat--for psychological reasons, for having 'always wanted one', for something to love.  The sister who had brought Pyrite into the home now has a son, my nephew, who takes after me with even more severe and multiple allergies. There are food allergies as well as to dog. What is ironic is for six months both sisters lived under the same roof with their families and dog (pomeranian). Everything was fine. Even my niece had the dog's picture on her birthday cake, they loved it so. Now the sister with the cat didn't come to the house for Christmas. This is after a similar incident where the plan was Thanksgiving at my mom's, but changed at the last minute, because the fiance of the one with the dog wanted my mom to meet his family. One sister lashed out severely at my mom for many reasons, making her cry, but I'm not supposed to tell you--but I will because it is important to view this from the outside to see how BLIND people can be while they are inside their lessons!  All of the characters are blinded to some extent, due to their lessons. The emotions are what's driving the dynamics, not the high heart, and definitely not the brain.

For me, my concerns are 1) mom was 'jumpy' as a hostess, and I've never seen her like that, and I KNOW for myself as one who has been abused emotionally, in my marriages, that's what a person does after being yelled at too much. I asked her, point blank, on Friday, 'mom, has so and so been saying mean things to you? Is this a punishment?'  She covered and said, 'no, they feel trapped and want to go so I let them.'...Mother is a very good 'stretcher of truth', and it was that PAUSE before she answered that made me hurt in my heart. All I can do is to share my love,  for all of my sisters, for my mother, for the old dead cat, for the dog, and to be thankful to have moved on from my lesson.

The second 2) is that the dog bites now, and mom is immunosuppressed. The fiance is 'getting the dog feisty' with play, and the dog growls routinely in play. But the dog doesn't know the difference between play and not, and when he was biting/eating something he shouldn't out in public, his mom my sister took it out of his mouth. And he bit her so hard it broke the skin and she bled. It's not good to leave a dog like that with an old person, especially one who is frail and on immunosuppression drugs. The dog is older, perhaps eight years, and might be getting a little senile too. For weight/health it can't gain, and therefore it is always hungry. The dog never gets full. So the bite will most likely be over food, if it is to happen, in my mother's home. I've been growled at once by the formerly friendly dog, and now, unless it's with his mom, I generally avoid it.

Love is the only solution to this situation. Love is the key. Love will soothe the pain from their lessons, their choices, and be an anchor for them to possibly wake up.

From a distance, PEACE is worth more than cats or dogs. And enjoying together as a family what is most likely mother's last Christmas, at least the last one where she is still independent, far outweighs the struggles, from my point of view. This is why I made a big effort. (please note a side benefit of being a medium is you can buy presents for the living at the request of those deceased--I was at the store and my grandfather wanted blue towels for my mom, a whole set, bath, hand and washcloth--and my father, who my mom has only recently got the courage to watch sports again in the house after he's passed--wanted mom to have a Rams warm blanket and ski hat and huge bell to ring--so she can enjoy watching their old team play.)

Let us add one more layer to the lesson:  EVERY ASCENSION IS UNIQUE, just as we are each UNIQUE.

I hate the Lord of the Rings. I absolutely detest it and my mind drifts off whenever someone talks about it. (My ex took his 'friend'--woman he was fooling around with--along with us to see one of the movies once. It was awkward.)  I also detest and have no interest whatsoever in video games or war or any kind. I can't stand it.

I have a very close friend who loves it. Both. A lot.

I've taken her aside and said, 'between us, this is fine, but you risk losing some of your credibility with your readers if you talk about it too much. Be careful.'

The reason I said this is because early on in my awakening, I was getting psychic messages which made complete and total sense to me, even taking with the other's higher selves in dream time--but when I put it to 3D, I came across like a total nut job, and people let me know about it.

What I learned in psychic development classes ten years later, is that we each have our own 'Reiki Alphabet', as Anne calls it. For me, illness feels like a 'dip' in the aura, for some, it feels 'hot', for others, 'icy cold'--everyone is different and needs to create their own system to understand and interpret messages from Spirit.

Basically, my close friend is in the language of Lord Of The Rings. It makes sense to her, from Spirit, and she 'gets it' as messages layered onto the film for her. And for her, video games help her relax, and Spirit encourages her to play them.

Can both be right? With me hating Lord of the Rings with all my heart, and with her loving it with all of hers?


Spirit talks to me in different ways. Spirit talks to her in her own way.

And Spirit will talk to YOU in your own way too!

So don't copy us! Find your own way to connect.

I for one, first experienced this 'movies' thing while seeing Star Wars in the theater when I was twelve. I looked around at all of the people, and I got the funny feeling that even through they all thought it was just a story, it was REAL, an no one could figure it out. There was a colossal joke being played on all of humanity, because the main point of the story was actually some form of Galactic History, and the creators were enjoying how ignorant the general public is; and yet, with the resonating with the story, the deep memory in the souls of the people responded, and it made it incredibly popular.

Does Spirit talk to me through Star Wars?

Not on your life.

But I am very blessed to see and feel, and relive my past lives, in color with all the emotions, so I go do my own thing.

Do I love my dear friend, who is Divine Mother, and also my Divine Father very much?

Yes. I would give my life for them.

Do I listen to all the songs or read the lyrics to the songs in the blog posts?

I only skim.

The love is the same, and the choice is mine--to ride for a while on her 'train' of life lesson, or to spend more of my emotional resources on my own.

Does this make sense?

Furthermore, does she hate me, or take it personal because I don't like the Lord Of The Rings?

No. She politely says, 'I wrote this but I don't think it will interest you'.  I'm glad she shares, and accepts me anyway, just the way I am.

Just like I accept her <3

This last lesson is the most poignant.

On Thursday, I came home early, and I asked Anthony what he needed to buy for gifts for his family on his father's side?

He wanted to go to Target. I encouraged him to find something for every one. The only people he had bought for were his grandparents, who like to go to Vegas, and the M and M store had a 'slot machine' that paid out M and M's.  I also helped him to buy for our side of the family too.

We wrapped together, and he learned how we wrap gifts. It's work! LOL.

This is the first time in his life, no one--usually it's his aunt or his dad's mom--took him to the store to buy something for his mom.

I didn't know.

On Saturday, he asked me to leave the house. He wanted to make something. I was like, 'okay' and I ran a few errands.

He made my gift. Together with Ross. He took a driftwood stick, and put symbols into it with a steak knife, and lit matches (outside, thankfully!) to put the energy of Hanukkah in it.

Then they both wrote me a note. Anthony at the top. Ross at the bottom. And Anthony NEVER reads these posts. He doesn't know it's the order how Ross likes to communicate.

Anthony also doesn't know that Ross (who I still call CRAZY because of his decision, which I followed for him nonetheless) wanted Anthony to get the nice GoPro for the last day of Hanukkah.  Ross wanted us to celebrate Hanukkah. And we are. I wrapped all those presents first.

It's like the Gift of the Magi, isn't it?


I will share with you, the letter, in its entirety:

Dear Mom,
I am sorry I didn't get you anything for Christmas. However, if you want anything (I mean anything) I will get it for you. (Dec. 23)

Dear Mom,
I have made something for you that you may enjoy. It is a spiritual stick. It may seem funky but if you see there is little details everywhere that I put in. I hope you love it!


Dear Honey,
I have helped Anthony make a spiritual stick to help you through these tough times with your family. What you are going through is very similar to what you went back in our days. This stick represents a lot of different things:  Hanukkah, our family, and my precious sweetheart Carla. Anthony put a lot of detail in this stick. He lit 8 matches and put them into his stick to represent hanukkah. He did a lot of carving in this stick: he tried to put hearts in it, he made patterns which symbolize love, and let this be where I can put healings into it. I love you honey and hope you have a lovely christmas and hanukkah.

Ross (your angel)  <3 (star) 

It's wood.

Anthony doesn't know that Ross' hobby is to carve wood. It helps him to relax. He's done it forever, even up in Heaven. And on our honeymoon, Ross brought with him--he sneaked it into our luggage--a beautiful model boat he had carved out of olive wood.

The most precious thing, is Ross helped Anthony to save face. Imagine not having a single gift for your mother, who buys so much for everyone else? on both sides of the family?

And Anthony's father's family did give me a single gift. I was not forgotten.

It was a Pandora bead heart that said, 'daughter'.  I'm official now, and I'm most grateful. I am the daughter they never had, they say, and with what limited resources they have (there was a retirement, and now they are on limited income) they gave the most special gift they could find, which would mean the most from them to me. Anthony was so excited he filmed me opening it!

That's what Christmas is all about. And Hanukkah too!

In Summary:



a)    we each drive our own 'wheel' to steer us through our lessons with our Consciousness--and because of the Consciousness, we can't help others except through love, because they won't see it.

b)   expect as we Ascend in the energies increase in vibration,  for people to act out, and use COMPASSION as a way to help increase your own Consciousness to the situation, and apply much-needed love, even if it is only from a distance.

c)  old lessons will repeat themselves with increasing intensity until they are learned/mastered (my mother, with both Pyrite, and now the dog, and the allergic loved ones who can't go to her home.)

d)  PEACE is the most important gift of all, along with the spiritual maturity to let others be themselves.

e) when you start to really wake up, and you've got something going with Spirit that you understand--know the path of Ascension is UNIQUE to us all, and someone else might not 'get' your 'language of Spirit' the way you do--and it's PERFECTLY OKAY!!!  Just love each other anyway, and drive your own wheels on your life lessons with your Consciousness  (a corollary is this is not 'Group Ascension'--we all don't have to believe the same thing to still make it up. It's okay to let go and move on if you are interested in one direction and the other isn't.)

SPIRIT IS REAL!!!  Look at how Ross helped Anthony <3  and me.

What's MY big gift for Hanukkah?  A nice Marseille Blue Le Creuset Casserole that was on sale. It's probably the same color as the shield, I should check! LOL. Spirit is smart! I bought it months ago and the shield is not even a week old...

clap! clap!


I just wanted to get your attention.

Today's message is very 'thick'--there is a lot of very DENSE and PACKED information in it. Be sure to take it slow, perhaps skimming it a few times until the message is clear to you. And perhaps revisiting it from time to time as you Ascend.

Carla's father is an elementary school teacher. Carla herself was a professor for nine years. Carla is into education. This is why she was chosen to write the way she does, in general terms, for the benefit of everyone.

Carla does this on purpose. She likes close detail.

And she likes me.

I told her yesterday that what is ahead will make us BOTH go 'wow!'. Carla pushed me on that point, because, in her words, 'you can see ahead to the finish, can't you?'

I assure you--both you the reader and Carla who is writing this now--every one of us 'upstairs' is going to do a huge DOUBLE WOW! When the Ascension is complete!

And thank you to our son for taking the time to help me create something special from my 'workshop' for you, Carla

And Carla, do not worry about the dog. Everything is going to work out fine.  I love you.

clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,

Ross and Carla
The Couple

Saturday, December 24, 2016

From Ross 12.25.2016

Good morning, and Good Evening to you, depending on which side of the International Date Line you are on.

Merry Christmas.

(he clears his throat--ed)

What I am about to say will prepare you for what is come. This isn't an early form of prediction. It is of Spirit.

(waves his hand--rocks it--palm down as if to say 'so so'--ed)  I want you to cut me a little slack when it comes to the time of the predictions. From where I come, I count on probabilities and energy readings with the timelines, and distortion/misinterpretation sometimes pans out while reading the 'graphs'.

(he clears his throat again--ed. He also folds his hands in his lap. He is seated and facing us.)

clap! clap!

I want all the good things to become better!

I want you to increase all the good upon the earth--both in your hearts (points to his chest--ed) and in your minds (points to his sides of his head with both index fingers--ed).

For it is starting from here (points to his chest--ed) with the moderation from here (points to his head--ed) with some common sense for 'grounding' and 'keeping it reasonable' will get us from (gestures with his hand pointing index finger down and making a sweeping movement as he speaks--ed) from Point A to Point B in a hurry! (holds one finger up to make a point--ed).

clap! clap!

There isn't anywhere else to go but to Point B from Point A. (he points to both sides of his head with the index fingers, looking like he is thinking intensely--ed).

There isn't any other place to go.

There simply isn't.

That place is the Higher Realms....upon Gaia. (he rubs his hands together--looks like with anticipation--ed).  I have been waiting for this for a long time. And so have you.

(he crosses his leg, and leans back with his hands laced behind his head and his elbows are sticking out--ed) What is there to say?

That I want a puppy?  (shakes his head no--ed)

That I want a RAISE?  (he chuckles, and shakes his head no again--ed)

That I want everyone to be at Peace?  (nods yes, as if we knew the answer all along--ed--then he leans forward, hands on his knees)

What is this Peace?

Is it a War to End all Wars?  (shakes head no--ed)

Sadly it isn't. For War leads to war leads to another war...

What about Corruption? Is the end of it a sign of Peace?

In a way it is, and in a way it isn't.

(he points to his chest with one finger--ed)  It depends on what is going on inside, in here.

Do you understand what I am telling you?  (he rubs his hands together again, as if going to share a great secret--ed)

What is without (gestures to the room with right hand--ed)  starts inside (points to his chest--ed) in HERE....and in HERE (points to both sides of his head with his index fingers--ed).

What is without  is a manifestation of the hearts and souls of the population.

So how is one to swing it?  All the love and joy and peace and lack of wars and prosperity for everyone?

(he points to the television set--ed) Are you going to find it in here?  (shakes his head no--ed) Sadly, it isn't. I would like it to have been so, a message to the masses that 'all is clear' and 'all is as it should be'...there are far too many who are entranced by it to understand the message, even if it were broadcast mid-day!  It wouldn't compute. It would not be understood, even if it was presented in the native languages.

What is going to come about is like a snowmelt. A little at first, and then a thaw, perhaps a refreeze for a night or two, but a general thawing of the masses from their 'rest' (slumber in the Illusion of Duality), and then a sign of Spring! Perhaps a flower (Carla saw one tree covered with white blossoms, and delighted in it today)...perhaps a windfall (something to make life easier in some way that is across the globe but people can't put their finger on it, what did it or what caused it) --(he chuckles and winks--ed)...

(he shifts in his seat again, leaning back and crossing his leg and putting his elbow to rest not he back of the chair next to him--ed)  It is going to take some time. I want to make it clear. (gestures as if shooting a basketball--ed) It is a free throw, not a slam dunk, and I want you to know I and my team are excellent at the free throw line.  We will make our mark, and arrive somewhat weathered--through all of the 'adventure' (I claircognizant this to mean, 'since 12/12/2012 to Point B'--ed) and everything is blessed! blessed, blessed, blessed blessed!

Is this a pep talk?

You bet on your life it is.

Go Team! (he pumps his fist into the air--ed)

I know you can do it!

clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,


(and Carla who is typing it for me)

Friday, December 23, 2016

A Year Of Growth

I wanted to title this a 'Year In Review', and Ross nudged me to turn it away from looking into the past, to reframe it into the future.

So here is my year, my spiritual growth, somewhat like the ring on a tree:

  • Last December I was completely distraught. I recall sobbing in my hotel room in New York, panicked, feeling like I was losing my home to cracks and instability. I knew the big rains of El NiƱo were due, and my house was going to slide off the hill. It started with my new neighbors moving in in September 2015,  taking out walls, load bearing ones, banging on everything with the remodel, and from Thanksgiving to Christmas my house really had new huge cracks sprouting up every week. It was a long growth, from dealing with the management company, the association, my neighbors, a lawyer, a MESS! I was staying late on school nights to go to meetings. I have since learned all homes crack. My home is a planned development. I own the land and the structure, the association only takes care of the stucco out. BUT THE HOUSES ARE CONNECTED. For termites, there are rules. We've had them tented, once, all the homes connected. But for movement? All four neighbors must decide, and there's no jurisdiction written into the CC and R's for when neighbors disagree. Is it better to leave the Association payments behind? I don't know. My postman had an eleven thousand dollar bill to replace his sewer lines to his own home. Today I am calm, and confident that this problem is manageable. I like my home, and it might just need paint. I can deal with it. This is a HUGE amount of growth. Incredible! Especially if you add to the mix the past life sorrows imprinted in my soul from life with Ross so many years ago, everything had to come up to be acknowledged and released.
  • My work IS unstable. The lawsuit against my boss came and went. I still have a job. I lined up a backup job before the lawsuit settled in September. I worked four days in the summer as vacation relief for their group which is very large, about forty anesthesiologists. I enjoyed the place and the people, but it's far. Basically I trust in Creator, and in what's right, and do my best...for what's next...however it may go.
  • My Reiki at the hospital is starting to take off. With the bracelets. I am openly accepted and welcomed as a certified psychic and healer. I'd like to focus on this project for a while because it's fun.
  • My skills set as a professional anesthesiologist has reached what feels like professional mastery to me. I am seamless. I bring in new technologies into the operating room. Two new important medications, one sugammedex, the other is a reversal for long-acting anticoagulant (I have to look it up, I forget name). I've been to two conferences this year, last year three. It takes less time to set up, I can get to the important issues faster in my patient assessment, and even, when asked and it's medically indicated (so it won't get lost in the lungs)--pull teeth that are dangerously loose! There has been a hiccup, with a lawsuit, and this too is helping me to grow and to understand this important facet of medicine, with almost everyone experiencing this in their career.
  • Travel is important to me--to maintain my friendships and ties to people I love. This year I visited France, Switzerland, San Diego, Victoria, Big Island (Hawaii), Chicago, and New York.  There are special souls in each of these places we were blessed to visit. Anthony is a very good traveler now too, and thankfully it's something we both enjoy. I don't know about what lies ahead in 2017 in the travel department--it may be less travel--but I'm grateful for 2016. 
  • I sought Spiritual Guidance. I haven't done this since my training. I booked five sessions in advance with Tim Braun, and I made the most of them. I'm highly independent, and I don't like to seek other's help (especially for a fee!)--but it's been since 2010, and I wanted an adjustment. It helped. Now I meditate. I didn't used to. Thanks to Tim.
  • My bracelets have reached a level of mastery I never thought possible. So has my teaching and healing too. I can easily connect now the pattern of symptoms with the imbalance in the chakra--it's not straightforward as all individuals are unique. They don't all fit the same pattern, just like they don't all take the same anesthetic. It's personalized. I absolutely love to work with the stones and create.
  • I took a HUGE step in my autonomy with the bracelets and my being a spiritual person online. I went BACK to the old ways. Teacher (with spirit) guides who is ready. It's not for sale. My gifts are not for sale. Each shield, each bracelet, each anything I make--is going to be with Spirit's guidance for both myself and the other person. The way the Kahunas did it hundreds of years ago. It was the healer who would decide, and they would invite Spirit to help guide them how to proceed, case by case, and even if it is meant to be for the Kahuna to take on the job altogether.
  • I am absolutely delighted with my new crystalline shield. The one I created two days ago, and will create for those who will benefit from it. This one lasts through all of your incarnations, and is permanent.  It's not like the ones you learn in Reiki where you layer them and renew them every day. It's because of who I am, although it matters of no consequence if you don't know me--all it means is I have reached a certain mastery and am permitted to do these things for the benefit of others. Today, it had the acid test--possible mixed signals from my family, and stirring up the old ghosts of emotional upsets and upheavals from my family of origin. There were a few bumps, but with each jolt, it settled back stronger into the New, the Bliss of the Higher Realms. I'm very grateful for it. It also helps me to accept and allow the choices of others, no matter how unpredictable or unconventional, such as finding out Anthony and I will be the only family present with my mom on Christmas Day. I tell myself, 'this is an adventure' and 'spirit has it this way for the best!'  (Two just got engaged, so I'm not sure if their old plans will 'stick')  There was last minute cancellation, of the other four people--just like Thanksgiving was cancelled at the last minute. It is what it is, we all do the best we can, and even though it would be easy to beat myself up for it or blame myself (I missed the party! They are mad at me! --the one last weekend) I know in my heart I was sick as a dog. And the other worker who flew to NYC, MISSED A DAY because she was so sick when she came back she skipped work (like I was tempted to do, but didn't). I know my truth, and I'm confident in it, and anyone who wants to make a big to do about it, well, that's not part of 5D. And for all I know I could be wrong. So it's a blessing...all of its own. Three days, and shield is working more beautifully each day.
  • Balance is the theme for 2017. I have my maid of honor from my first wedding--my most amazing friend--to share this goal, and we will keep each other accountable!  Health, family, work, all the balance--to maintain our success in all we do. And she IS successful. I suppose in my own right, I am too. But not like she is. She is worldly success with a good heart. The rarest combination! I'm doing okay, and happy, and perhaps a little more successful on the spiritual part. It's all good! I just look forward to meeting her amazing husband, who is from where I live--but has relocated all the way to the East Coast. : ) Life is good. 

Where have you been in YOUR year?

What notches are there on your walking stick?

How did you grow?

Did you meet your challenges with grace and calm?

Did you maintain your dignity, your 'sovereignty', and rise above the milieu created for us by Those Who Do Not Have Our Best Interest At Heart?

These are the abilities you take with you after you Transition...these personal growths, and well as what's in your heart, in how you relate to others.

Think about it. <3

Ross picked this one.  It represents him.  

He says he will write tomorrow.   He says 'I love you and good night and Happy Christmas!'

(the rascal! He also says to add, 'Merry Hanukkah!'--ed)

clap! Clap!  

Aloha and Mahalos,

Ross and Carla
The Reiki Doc Family

Something To Share

I was driving home and the following conversation took place. Ross asked me to share it.

R:  A while ago guess what I was doing, Carla?

C:  A while ago? Is that your while? My while? Or like, our while a way long time ago?

R:   Your time, not that long ago.

C:   What were you doing?

R:   I was looking at your file.

C:  My FILE?

R:   Yes, your file. (he showed me a thin file that was more like a tablet, with information on it that looked like a grid)  There is a pattern.

C:  A pattern?!

R:   Yes, a pattern. When something is in your awareness that you do not like, you push it away and out, and then you advance about four steps. It's a pattern. The most recent one was your getting sick on the way home from your trip to New York. See?

C:  (I looked and it was like a moving diagram of data, and sure enough, there was a big spike and then an energy burst and the level moved several steps higher than the spike.)  Hmmmm.

R:   This pattern is from the Divine Feminine. It's like giving birth, with each painful contraction the mother gives a push which helps to get the baby closer to being out of the womb. It's very powerful with respect to energy. Everyone tends to think of the Divine Feminine energy as being receptive, and passive, with the Male energy being more aggressive and active. But it isn't only like this. The Divine Feminine has an active strength and your are displaying it in your movement pattern.  Will you write about this?

C:   Yes, of course Ross. Yes.

R:   It's something to think about. Empowering the Divine Feminine a little more, don't you think?

C:  (nods yes)

(This quote is also requested from Ross for you; it's important, he says)

clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,

Ross and Carla
The Reiki Doc Couple

Thursday, December 22, 2016

Awakening Our Kundalini

I will get right to the point.

We are spiritual beings who are 'trapped' or 'hidden' somewhere in an Illusion we don't understand.

It's like a cat being stuck inside a paper bag while playing with it, terrified and forgetting that there is an easy way out, because of the feeling of confinement and the lack of being able to see.

In 3D, sight is our protection, our sense to help us know what's in our surroundings, and allows us to discern if we are safe from harm and can relax and be at Peace.

As spiritual beings, who are trapped inside the Illusion of Lies and Double-Speak which surround us by the Corporate Media, along with the slingers of even more lies who are paid to do so on the Internet by the same 'team'--the trolls and disinformation specialists...We can't see ourselves for what we are.

I do not offer my goods or services for sale to the general public.

I am not for sale.

However, I do have a policy where I will make bracelets free for any nurse who asks at my hospital--one per nurse (or health care team worker).  I make them custom to match, boost, and support their energy, just like I did when I offered them for sale online.

They are asking in great numbers at the hospital.

They are talking with their friends.

As a healer, I was overwhelmed with the response of one nurse who had asked for a bracelet at least a year ago, and I wasn't able to create it for her until I made one for another, and I didn't want the first one to feel forgotten.

I added Russian Serpentine. I gave it to the friend to give to her, the one with the more urgent bracelet. I explained how it helps with sexuality, this stone which is meant for her, and not to be surprised by the 'side effect'. In other words, your husband will thank you for it.

She gave me a huge bear hug yesterday to thank me, as this was the first time she's seen me in the month since she got it.

She's in balance.

I felt it.

She explained she had some female troubles a while back, and waited a year to get her hysterectomy, but she did, and now she and her husband are 'getting busy' even in the mornings before work!

She is incredibly happy. And he thanks me too.

I didn't know about her troubles with her health. I listened to what spirit had in mind for her, and I created it.

The other one, the anxious one? She's tons better. I had told her NOT to share her bracelet because it was for her. She has two daughters and I know how daughters can be. She didn't have it on.

Her daughter had troubles with her soccer, and she wanted it.

You know, the etheric cord between mother and child is silver, and it never gets broken, even after this life.  So the HEALING is flowing through that cord from the child to the mother, and one bracelet is doing the work for two.

Everyone at work notices a huge difference in the anxious one. Her symptoms are about ninety percent improved.

It's the bracelet.

I'm starting to see that the energy imbalances which make us uncomfortable are in part from being exposed to the Illusion which sets us off balance from our natural harmony and peace as spiritual beings of Light.

Yesterday, I was in a situation where I just couldn't take it any more. I felt bombarded with 3D.

There was a conversation going on in my presence at work, I was giving direct patient care, I couldn't leave, and it reminded me of high school queen bees and wanna bees. Who is seeing whom, who is going out next time with the group, and where, after work.

The media has been intrusive, and uncomfortable, and these individuals are REALLY tied into the media and talk TV shows every time too, including this one.

Then something surreal happened.

My patient started snoring loudly.  Back and forth, the rhythmic breathing of one unconscious, very deep asleep, a sign of a job well done by me.

I could hear both the snoring and the small talk from 3D at the same time, and I SWITCHED the significance to equate this 'chatter' to be the equivalent of VERY LOUD SNORING of those who are deeply immersed in duality, the third dimension, the horrible 'paper bag' we are trapped inside like those terrified cats.

Further, I realized their chatter was no different from the snoring, as it is Nature's way of people who are in this certain form of unconscious awareness to the higher realms to act; what else is there to do when you can't see outside the bag and you want to bond with others to comfort yourself while in the Illusion?

So, out of sheer desperation and desire for PEACE and to keep their chatter out of my internal 'oasis' of Higher D, I created a shield.

It's blue and it's from Gaia. Only I can give it. I've put it first on me, and then on one other who gave me her Diamond Shield a long time ago.

It makes you disconnect from the chatter, it's like you hear it but it bounces off and doesn't affect you. Inside you feel a blanket of warmth and love, and you know you are free from getting sucked into the energy of those kinds of situations.  For those who have advanced to a spiritual level where silence is welcome and conducive to Spiritual Connection, Development and Growth, this shield takes out the 3D 'clutter' energy, and gives you the ability to be present and disconnect with love.

And THEN, miracles do happen! At the end of the day, several cases after the shield, one of the 'sleepers' asked for a bracelet! Spirit told me to explain my policy, one free to those who ask to help promote a Healing Environment starting with us--for our patients and coworkers. The other will 'watch' and 'see' how the first one's will go.

Spirit came through with a brilliant design and I made it last night.

Everyone wants to heal.

Everyone feels better in balance.

And those who aren't quite 'there' yet in their Awakening are going to surprise you!

Once you master the ability to give them the space to be them, by dropping your spiritual expectations (wake the heck up everybody! was one of my big ones lol), and letting Love be your shield and protection.

Ross helped me a lot last night with my Kundalini. It's not like an on or off switch. It comes a little at a time as you awaken. Last night I asked him a lot of questions about our roles as Twins to one another. For example, his question as an answer to MY question (he does that a LOT, the old rabbi, lol) was, 'where is your Divine Feminine? where does it come from?' and I searched for my physical body, emotional body, energy...and I couldn't point to it. I relaxed and the answer came forth from my being, and I said, 'it's in my heart'...even though I didn't understand the full implication of my answer, it was resonating as truth.

Ross has been trying to get me some Verdite. I had seen a sphere of it online. I wanted it, but I have many crystals and sometimes I worry, so I held back. A week later, there was a ring online, he wanted me to see it, and I ordered it, but it was Variscite. I missed the Verdite auction. Then I looked Verdite up and I was like, WOW, that's what I need! Was it the same thing as the sphere? Yes, it was! Well I ordered the sphere. And when I went to make the bracelets? I had ten millimeter beads of verdite right there--five strands of them! So I made a bracelet for me, and the healing for my kundalini has been wonderfully supportive from the stone to help me with Ross's guidance in the realm of kundalini.

clap! clap! (that's Ross--I'm late for work)

He points his finger to his mouth like, shhhhhh.

He wants me to tell you about the shield.

It's not for everyone. It's not like you pay me and I'll make it for you. It's not for sale to the general public. But for those I know through my healing work, if you are interested, I will see if it would be appropriate for you. If spirit says yes, for an energy exchange I will create a shield for you, Ross calls it the Loving Embrace of Gaia...which will be of most help to those who are on their assignments and being distracted from them by the 3D down here where they are sent to do their work. Contact me through FB messenger, Twitter messenger, or if you're interested.  The price is half the price of my bracelets for the energy exchange.


Aloha and Mahalos,

Ross and Carla
The Twins

Wednesday, December 21, 2016

Short Quick Communication

Happy Solstice!

I have an excess of work right now. Got in after midnight. On call. Must go back again to 'the office' too soon.

People who use their freedom of choice, their free will--to hurt others are not okay in my book.

I don't like or enjoy the lower vibrations in any way shape or form.

People who are hurtful, I 'forgive' but only like this:  I put them in God's hand and don't think about it.

If I have a pet who pees or poops all over the house, they don't get to stay free to roam in my house. They go outside, or in one contained room where it's easy to clean up. I still love them. But my love for them isn't going to let them poor or pee all over everything else that is important to me. 

I'm not going to be all friendly with someone who makes horrible choices until they show evidence of seeing the 'light' and wanting to change, such as asking forgiveness, or even more, their making an 'amend' (Twelve Step program type of amend). And really MEANING it, being sincere!

It's enough for me to be here incarnate, to love everybody in general and to show up in all the responsibilities I have--at work and at home--without interacting with somebody else's choices that hurt people because we are not on the same page!

Also, I don't like the allegory that the body that types these words, and the heart who listens to both Spirit and itself which discerns these words--is only a shoe for an extension of 'My Greater Self' to wear for an incarnation.

I am not a toy. I am not a game. I am not a joke.   I am not a plaything. I am incarnate with a Veil--and for Spirit to do anything otherwise than to intervene and assist everyone incarnate who is struggling is not nice. To me, perpetuating the Status Quo or even changing it one speck slower than what's possible is not nice. We need OUT. I want OUT. I want to be Home in the Higher Dimensions, here incarnate on earth, NOW.

God is nice--Creator, both Divine Father and Divine Mother.

Someone who is really, really low on my list of people who have done despicable things as Lightworkers who have hurt the progress instead of helping, and really hurt Divine Mother a LOT!--asked Divine Mother for a reading. 

I would never in a million years touch this individual with a ten foot pole, not even a twenty foot pole. 

I wouldn't even want to get close to seeing their true vibration.

I am NOT Divine Mother.

Divine Mother is strong, and sees they are Her Children, and unpleasant as it is, she will make herself available to help this one Grow, on the chance assumption it is not a Trick. 

I love the poor, the helpless, the struggling to be free--the people who are in deep doo-doo and know it and want help. As a physician I love cancer patients and taking care of them with my professional services because that's what I signed up for, and it's all about. 

As a physician it's a struggle to work with those who abuse the system for self gain, people who don't work and have an easy lifestyle and aren't really sick but use a lot of medical resources for whatever reason--drug seeking, secondary gain, whatever.

This is why I make the distinction on how I forgive when it isn't easy--I send difficult people to the Spiritual Experts. They are outside the scope of my practice. I DO have to work with difficult medical patients--it's inside my scope of practice. But I wouldn't do anything outside of my specialty. 


Some Lightworkers have done well on their assignments.

Some haven't.

Stick to you own assignment.

Be honest with both yourself and Creator of All That Is on your progress.

And DON'T make yourself upset for not being Creator--if someone rubs you the wrong way--and they are NOT part of your Assignment (for example the one wanting the reading from Divine Mother)--simply REFER these individuals OUT to Creator and let it go.

Say, 'I'm putting this one in your hands, Creator, because that is the best I can do at the moment'. 

And move on.

My health is vastly improved. Thank you.

Yesterday was a miracle--the anesthesia machine showed up after a year of delay in the GI lab. The means automatic vital sign recording just like in the O.R, and more ability to concentrate on my patients. It was Christmas and my birthday all in one to be the first one to use it in GI.

There was food there too. I had a good day.

Until the Mercury Retrograde night on call.

I'm handling it.

I wish I could get excited about Christmas this year but I'm not. I just feel like a puppet on a string, and the hand holding the puppet saying 'buy buy buy' to 'celebrate' seems so totally obvious I'm like, not happy society constructs something like that.  I just want to see my family, and I'm thankful I'm not on call, you know?

I went through a LOT of clearing of old debris in my soul with that last cold. I'm cranky.

And yes, cranky is real.

In a Reiki cleanse the old blockages come up to release.

Ascension is all about acknowledging and releasing.

The trick, and it's a subtle one--about acknowledging and releasing, and the Law of Attraction--is not to dwell on the negative.

It's like, 'ouch my foot huts I stepped on a nail' and then you pull your foot up to inspect it, and you either treat it or move on.

Focusing on the nail manifests more nails.

It's also like when you meditate--things pop into your Consciousness, you acknowledge them--and move on.

Exercise to keep your thoughts positive as constantly as you can--and you will retrain the mind to manifest good things.

Don't stuff your feelings down to your ankles like Marge Simpson and ignore them. Simply acknowledge them when they come up, take it as data points, and move on. Ignored feelings have influence on what we manifest too.

I wish I could stay longer, I have to go. I'm late for work.

Ross please be patient, and wait for another time.

Thank you.

Aloha and Mahalos,

Reiki Doc

Sunday, December 18, 2016

Before Mercury Retrograde

Ross wants me to write.

I haven't written for a long time.

I have been sick the last few days. But also, I am adapting to a new awareness of myself and my life situation, and coming to accept it.

My trip to New York was wonderful, both professionally and personally.

I don't know where to begin.

When I study, I like to learn things from the end to the beginning. I start in the back of the book.

So I'll do that now.

Ross just had me spend a few moments in the garden, enjoying a mug of hot chocolate. It's not the hot chocolate I make for myself and Anthony. It's the high sugar kind I used to make for us, until he got sick with his blood sugar being high. I haven't any milk in the house( it went bad while we were away and I had to throw it out). I just added boiling water, and took the mug downstairs.

My garden makes me very content. There is one row of potatoes for some reason Spirit wanted me to plant. Then there are two rows of fava beans, which I hope by next March will have beans for us to pick.  Throughout are the garlic plants in their own rows a reader sent me from the midwest. I am glad to see them grow.

In the other little plot of land I have arugula, lemon balm, fennel, and mint. I was able to pick some for the rabbit, and also a little for me. Earlier today I had 'soup' with hot water poured into a mug with some chicken boullion, and chopped up arugula and fresh rosemary from the garden.

I missed two parties because I was sick. One was the O.R. Christmas party. The other was my sister's party for the family to honor both my niece (kidney transplant anniversary) and my mom (birthday).

Why am I sick?

I see it clearly now. It's the fear. I was flying home, and pushed into a trust Spirit and see what happens situation. I knew I would get home. But I had to engage by text with my boss and a colleague for the contingency if I didn't. It was that familiar panic because of my work, the lady coughing next to me, and most likely, the dog someone brought on the plane who 'has been flying eleven years'.

I can't be in a closed room with a dog. And cats are the absolute worst. My eyes swell shut and I get welts. They won't serve peanuts on a plane because of the allergies, but they let the animals on board like they are people.

It's the first thing I ask when I am invited to a home--'do you have a cat?'. If yes, then I can't go. It's as simple as that. With dogs, it's a little easier, but if a family has had them inside for a long time, I can't go in for very long.

I get sick for days after exposure to a cat, or a high-allergy situation with a dog. Is that why I'm sick?

I don't know.

Did I want to go to work on Friday?  Not really. I would have liked to have just skipped the whole day. I had a super runny nose, I was sneezing. I asked the per diem scrub tech, 'can you call in sick to your work?'  Of course yes!

I can't.

I have to work.

No anesthesia, no surgery, no money, and a lot of people angry and upset.

Only if I am in the emergency room myself can I not show up, and only then, once in my career. I have to be 'affable, able, and available' to keep my employment. It's the rules in private practice.

On Friday I asked ELEVEN PEOPLE if they would trade call with me, so I could go home. ELEVEN PEOPLE said NO. They wanted to take their kid to see Star Wars. They wanted to show their kids the Christmas Lights. They just said no without any reason why. They had been staying late all week, and even through they saw I was sick--they said, 'I've started your case for you you can just stay and finish it'.  It was only thirty minutes and they stuck me for it.

I had a super 'AHA!' moment from these four or five inputs during this trip:

  1. Mom explained to me dad retired because he burned out--she sees the warning signs in me. 
  2. The lecture explained how lack of control over one's work situation and production pressure really increase risk of burnout. And how once burnout strikes, you can't recover from it. 
  3. My old roommate from Cincinnati, who was my maid of honor, and I met. She's wonderful. But I realized the lie I've been telling myself all these years about my work. They yell at me. I don't get breaks to eat. I have no idea when I go home but they want me right on time every day. I pay all my own everything--insurance-wise. She works hard too, but there's a little flexibility for her, she can come in a little later after a long day. A plastic surgeon was really sad on Friday. He can't go to Mammoth on Monday, even though it's booked. A patient wanted a big cosmetic thing, and isn't available any other day, and wanted it before Christmas. He's in business for himself, he had to stay and do the surgery. But he can leave on Wednesday for his vacation with his family. 
  4. Both before Hawaii and New York, I pulled all nighters. A full one before Hawaii--to pack--and two of them before New York. Somehow the scheduler made it so I was to work on the day I asked to be off so I could leave, and I had to scramble to find coverage.
  5. While I was on my 'Fun Day' with Anthony, we went to the Empire State Building, Papaya Dog, Little Italy pizza, and Grand Central Station. While I was at Grand Central Station I was happy and exploring and felt like a little kid. I haven't had that kind of freedom to just be myself in a long time! I had felt the same way at MOMA, in the Matisse room, and shared it with you earlier.

What was my trip to New York? It was more than a conference. I had to go in without my usual protective crystals. It's a very dark town--in the things behind the scenes from 'the builders'--but the people are phenomenal and have open hearts. They don't have any clue about the hidden occult symbolism that's easy for me to pick out, the clues the 'builders' like to put into everything. My energies were able to connect. It was important for me to have free time with Anthony. To go to the Carnegie Deli, to Central Park, to go on a bus tour of Harlem. To SEE with my own eyes, to feel what's up. I laughed inwardly at the wax museum, because so many of the figures there are in fact from Those Who Do Not Have Our Best Interest At Heart. People have no clue, no concept of the lies. I was like, 'reptilian, pedophile, full incarnation of an archon...' just able to see how the figures are arranged in the room who the real power players were.

When it was time for me to leave, my heart ached. It literally ached because I love all of these wonderful random everyday people who live and work in New York. I didn't want to go.

I'm not sure what the future holds for me, in a Spirit sense. My teams have been very quiet.

Except for one very cool thing--on the flight home, from Atlanta, Ashtar was with Ross. Ashtar gave me a gift. It's a special camera. They both know I adore taking pictures. I asked Ashtar if I have to be a special brain to use it? He said no. It was blue, about the size of my hand, and had a little strap for my wrist like ours do.

But it can take pictures anywhere in time. And you don't have to worry about the chip in it--it can't get full. It's always sending them to the cloud. And you can retrieve them any time. This is a spirit gift--I don't have it here in 3D. But I'm still excited about it.

When I came home, my crystals were like medicine to me. A vivianite ring. A meteorite one (don't get those wet they rust!) and a garnet/marcasite one. I also opened my thumbnails I'd ordered, little tiny specimens. Vanadanite, hornblende, galena, zincite...they helped too. 

Here are my goals:
  1. to sleep in my own bed every night
  2. to get up at a decent hour, and also go to sleep every night at a regular bedtime--not these short or long days like I have now.
  3. to exercise and be able to see the doctor and take care of my needs. (I once went two years without time to see the dentist)
  4. to do what I love--healing and patient care--in smaller doses so I don't suffer in my work-life balance
  5. to keep my ears open to spirit, for guidance on how to reach these goals.

By the way--at Macy's on sale there were 'genuine stone' bracelets by Esquire--sodalite, onyx, tiger eye, or azurite with sterling silver--for the men, regularly four hundred dollars on sale for one hundred nineteen. Or Anne Klein natural stone inspirational gift sets, with Jasper for nurturing-prosperity, sunstone for leadership-energy, or Jade for love-loyalty--for one hundred twenty-five dollars for the watch plus the bracelet (made with gold-color metal, not silver). 

My work isn't for sale. It's only now for giveaways or for gifts. But the price I had set for myself was actually low, when you look at the quality of the spiritual work that goes into it, as well as the designer quality of the stones which are definitely NOT in the things on sale at Macy's. Most of you who ordered--and I thank you--I always sent either another bracelet or a sun catcher or something creative to go with it--are smart shoppers and got excellent deals. Just so you know. <3

Ross wants to write. I will let him.


Carla is overwhelmed. 

I came to her while she was going to sleep last night at seven p.m. , her congested head in a world of pain, and she smiled weakly.

She was like, 'wow, Ross, is that you?'

I didn't know what to say to that. For both of us know I am always with her, and she, in her own way, whether she knows it consciously or not, is always with me. 

There is a part of Carla that really likes to be nurtured when she is sick. And it's poignant because when her boy is with his father, Carla is totally alone in the third dimension, and must take care of herself.

Carla doesn't have friendships like she once had when she was in medical school. There were people she could call, in a bind, and ask to bring her ginger ale and gatorade when she was throwing up. 

As you can see by the result of her asking people to work for her, and their saying no, that work has taken it's toll on Carla's social support system. 

Carla has no idea who is going to watch Anthony tomorrow. There is no school. She had thought her mother, but there is an extra long drive and she is sick, her mother might catch it. Then on Tuesday to Thursday, Anthony is with his dad, who selfishly 'volunteered' to watch him and keep him overnight to his convenience. This is totally out of the usually visitation schedule. But he 'insists'. 

The holidays for Carla are just that--days to endure--just like the rest of her life has been since she began work at her hospital. Before, Carla worked part time, and had more to enjoy, to look forward to, in her time free. Unfortunately there is no guarantee of work in private practice, and part-time filling in work is not sustainable option.

Sometimes, and Carla is well aware of this--we have to reach a breaking point before things can improve. This is both for individuals as well as for society. 

Would Carla have liked to have been embraced as my wife and the mother of my children by the world at large?

It is possible.

But then again (raises one finger up)--as my Twin, there is a devilish delight in her freedom of being in a place like Grand Central Station in New York, with not one soul knowing her for who she really is--my Twin. 

So Carla, wise as she is, the ever wise Gaia Sophia--leaves it to chance, to fate, to the Higher Plan For Everything which is for the Highest Good, and ENJOYS what IS...

Even if it's lying under the covers and letting the dishes pile up for two days. 

Sometimes that's what it takes. 

clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,

Ross and Carla

Here is our Reading List for those of you who want something 'more' (and some of it is watching~)

  3. this just caught my attention because my sister took my mom to Chateau Marmont--and guess who was there that they saw? Yup. I've never been there, nor do I care to go.