Wednesday, December 7, 2016


Everyone is garbage!

My postman said that today. I caught him while he was driving to the mailbox thing by my house. I asked him why he's so late? (his usual time is two thirty, and today, it was after five p.m.)

He said the end of the year is going to be crazy for them, they are working super hard. He's had our neighborhood route for the longest time, but he's had to fight for it many times over the years, to keep it.

He says they are working super hard and everyone is replaceable and they let you know it. That's why he said, 'Everyone is garbage!' because that's how the US Postal Service Management makes them feel.

I asked him a question about my work, something that happened that seemed unfair, and you know what he said, 'I'm sorry, but I can't even think right now!' and he drove off.  (when it's not this time of year, he's pleasant, and can talk a bit, but not much, because there's much work for him to do. It's not this abrupt.)

The productivity on these workers is so tight, that their times being measured.

I asked once how do they go to the bathroom, and in fact, they have keys to our pools, and use those restrooms located next to the swimming pools if they need it. That's how it is in all of the communities. That's how hard they work.

At my work, sometimes I feel like I am next to garbage.  I can get stuck in a room with no one offering me a break--I was once booked for a cardiac case that was a hybrid--cath lab and then CABG--and it took ten hours. No food, no drink, and a few short runs to the loo so I could pee.

In general if my patient is stable, I can ask a nurse to watch the vitals while I run down the hall to the women's restroom.

If my patient isn't doing well, then I can't leave the room. I can't even sign the case over to another anesthesiologist. It's just the rules.

My recent patients 'streak' continues--scary airways and coexisting disease which is pretty severe.  Our receptionist at the front desk who schedules our cases says it's the pro-dromal phase before Mercury goes retrograde on the 16th.

No wonder why Ross had me do the shopping! LOL.  I came home from work, exhausted, needing to do laundry because Anthony has nothing to wear. And Ross was like, GO TO THE MALL and BUY SOMETHING FOR ANTHONY.  He said I just have to walk once to the other end of the mall and back.

I got almost all my Christmas shopping done in one day. In two hours. Nice things, too. Shhhh!

One of the funny things about being a single mom is you have to buy and wrap gifts for yourself, because it's a little awkward on Christmas morning if you don't. I keep them small. And simple.

This year Hanukah falls on Christmas Eve.

How rare is that? I don't think I've ever seen this happen.

Is anybody wondering if something special is going to occur?  I am!

Ross wants us to celebrate the eight days of Hanukah with Anthony. So I have many little things, and there is one BIG thing yet to be determined.

Aha! I digress! Today I asked for a break to eat--after six hours and the surgeon had three more. I said I was hungry. And someone gave me a break. It was very nice of him. It made my whole outlook better--I had twenty minutes to heat up my rolled up tortilla with salami and grated mozzarella cheese, eat a carrot that wasn't orange but white, have a homemade yogurt, and a banana. I drank half a kombucha. I brushed my teeth after. It was a royal treat to take care of my bodily needs! It wasn't leisurely like it sounds--I ate swiftly-- indeed!

No wonder why I loved school so much. There was always recess, the windows to look outside, and there were no nights and no weekends. I could eat by choice on the lunch benches outside, or in the cafeteria. Or on rainy days, in the class. It was very balanced.

I bet if I had that work schedule from elementary school--and complete lack of home responsibilities--I'd be skinny like I was back then too. I was always roller skating and riding my bike with my friends to play. Then I did sports, gymnastics, baseball, swimming lessons. How can society get us all athletic in school, and then BAM--as we get older we have to stop and be responsible?

It's sad.

I wish there was more balance for everyone.

One of the things I'm really learning to do, is to LOVE.

Some of the long case I just sat there and felt this warm glow of love and gratitude--for the people in the room, for the patient, for things going well...It's not always easy, and in fact, I got stressed at the end of the day. The charge nurse is inexperienced, she's not a good fit for the job, and she's always looking out for her needs--the OR. I just finished a long case, I needed a breather, and my next case was a while after. But she traded. A surgeon in another room was delayed and the surgeon who was behind the delayed one was mad. So BOOM it got moved to my room. I did the work. I met the patient. I wrote the pre-op. I drew up the drugs and got the equipment ready.

Then when it's time to go back, the charge nurse tells me that the call one surgeon wants 'his lineup' and I'm supposed to go wait for an hour for the case that would have been mine.

That's not the rules.

The rules are, there is no 'lineup'. If it moves, it moves. And you don't give up the work unless you are excused to go home. End of story.

But the greedy ones, they talk to this charge nurse all day, about 'their lineup'. She thinks they are right--they are persistent. But when I'm high call, I get cases taken away right and left to those same people who look out for number one.  A lady colleague said, 'hell no!' when a higher call person didn't want to wait for their case, and tried to take her work on Tuesday.

What about my boss? The one I pay two percent of everything I make (billing company gets seven percent, but they take it twice, both when my insurance collections come in, and then again when they cut my check--that's a lawsuit waiting to happen there if I had the energy/money etc to pursue it--the double-dip)??? The group of partners I pay half a percent of everything I make?  Do they even care?

They don't. They don't give a shit about me.  And I am replaceable. In a work sense. They know me, are friendly, and would help me if I needed help. But there's no looking out for me because I'm a single mom, the only breadwinner, or even because I'm really good at what I do and put patients first, always...

In anesthesia, every day you work, you win! Because you never know what tomorrow will bring.  Friends are important. They are your safety net because there is none for my specialty. Absolutely none.

Can I love them?

I do. I love my boss, those who mistreat me, those who look out for number one, because it's the right thing for a person in my position to do.  It's not sucking up. That's different. Sucking up is out of fear. Loving those who are definitely sick in the spiritual department (clearly demonstrating a 'lack' mentality which is a form of fear) is a healthy and normal response, especially for a healer who is grounded and connected to Source.

It's the work, the REAL work, of why we are sent here in the first place.

Am I a pushover? No. It's more like brothers and sisters, family, and some are easier to get along with than others, some are more fair, and others aren't, but they are still family. We are work family--even if in essence I am disposable, garbage,  a commodity--a skill set that walks around on two feet.  I pray for my whole hospital every day, and my patients. I send Reiki and Divine Peace Healing to them as well.

I couldn't get through my day without appreciating the gifts and kindnesses of everyone I work with, and my patients too.

I see amazing things.

For as long as it's meant for me to be there and see them. : )))


We--I am inclusive here, to mean, me and you, and Carla thrown into the mix (he chuckles--ed)--we are superheroes!

And our ability to LOVE is what sets us apart from the 'bad guys'--Those Who Do Not Have Our Best Interest At Heart.

It is kryptonite to them, the LOVING VIBRATION.

In return, they have no kryptonite for us!

Be sure to daily use your incredible super powers!!

Clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,

Ross and Carla
The Reiki Doc Family