I am learning more about our interaction with our loved ones who are in Spirit.
While Anthony and I were shopping for a Christmas Tree, a real one, last Sunday, he was in the noble fir section. We have always bought a noble fir, as long as he has been alive.
But the tree I had, while growing up, was the cheaper one, the douglas fir.
I was trying to get Anthony to compromise, to save some money, and also, to enjoy what I grew up with--and was in the douglas fir section. I stuck my face in the branches of one tree, and took a big sniff.
THAT smelled like Christmas! And instantly I was flooded back with memories of my sister and I going with dad, the three of us always, to pick the tree. We were very picky, and it took some time for us to find the right one. The right shape, with full branches all the way around. Dad was so strong. I thought it would last forever. I recall the one time we went on Carson street where the train dropped the trees off, with men throwing them out of the train car for us to buy. They were the freshest in town.
I was overcome with the strongest feeling of missing my father.
My soul cried out DAD!!! and I fought back the tears.
Even as I decorated the tree, I was resigned to the fact that all our loved ones die, including us, and I wrapped carefully the ones that reminded me of both mom and dad into the lower layer of the storage box, knowing there's a strong chance the two will reunite in 2017...and Christmas will be even worse next year because I will miss both of them.
I also missed the Charlie Brown Christmas trees. They didn't have any at the lot. There were some new kinds of fir. But not the kind I had for all my years in school, which was a lot, the flimsy ones that were very inexpensive, just like in the cartoon.
Where did they all go?
I have to be careful with certain restrictions about what I share from my experiences at work.
Let me tell you not too long ago, I was scared. I was in pre-op, talking to my patient, and amazed they were able to breathe because I was not certain how I was going to be able to put a breathing tube into their airway. I watched with trepidation as they talked, and I asked, 'do you have sleep apnea?' which they said, 'no'.
I hadn't seen anything like it in years.
I asked my buddy, who was between cases, if he wasn't doing anything in the next five or ten minutes, would you mind please being on standby, just in case I need help? I'm scared. I know everything will probably go okay, but still...
He was super preoccupied on his phone.
So in the hall, on my last walk to the room to make sure I had all the equipment, I said, 'Ross, I can't do this. He's not going to help, I know it. I'm in a pickle. I need YOU. And Raphael too. There's no way I can intubate this patient, nobody can.'
And I felt this warm glow of happiness coming from Ross.
He was so touched!
I got the feeling that our asking our guides for help is a super nice compliment to them, something they are delighted to do, especially when we are really stuck and call on them with a 'I don't know how I'm going to get myself out of this mess! HELP!' kind of tone.
It's like the nicest thing in the world you can do for your guides, and I stumbled on it.
I had both Ross' and Raphael's reassurance they would be present with me.
Like a miracle, all went well, both with intubation and extubation, and it was more because of their contribution I am SURE!!! than because of me.
I was expecting a long day. Anthony had his Christmas music concert at school. I had arranged for a colleague I covered two weeks ago to cover me, for I was high call, so I could go.
In the morning, he decided he wanted his grandmother to come.
She lives just as far from my work in the other direction.
I called. She said to ask the rest of the family too. It was okay, they would like to be asked. And those who were available said yes. All I needed to do was to pick up mom, they would meet us at the performance, and take her home.
At two, I was relieved, and I went to pick up mom.
What I did next is a tip off to my being a native Southern Californian through and through--I filled up and tank and I washed my car so mom wouldn't see it dirty. People talk, and she wouldn't want to be seen in a dirty car...lol. What would others think? (she used to be more like that than she is now).
THEN I picked up mom. I drove her to Anthony's school, a drive she used to make often, and for the past three years, hasn't been able to drive. She was very happy.
I picked him up and she was thrilled to meet his new teacher, and to see the school again. Someone she has known since his preschool is expecting her first child, and she was able to see her and congratulate her.
We drove home the way we always do, which was a treat for mom to see what's changed and what hasn't.
Her joy at seeing our house again, and our neighborhood, was palpable.
So was mine. She also met our neighbors, two new ones, who are very nice. One has a little baby.
Anthony gave her a tour of the house. We have new carpet, he has a new desk and shelf. And we have the bunny who is bigger than the pomeranian my sister has...lol. She's a BIG bunny!
And I made dinner. I had everything cooking--rice, corn, broccolini, the charcoal lit, and lo and behold, much to my surprise, the meat I had taken out three days ago, was still frozen!
Ross said not to worry, it would be the best steak I've ever cooked, it would turn out okay.
I only had two very small steaks, and wasn't sure how I was going to stretch it...
I followed his advice, and also, cut the steaks thin, so there was twice as much. Everyone enjoyed it. And mom was excited to get a huge piece of fat because she loves it. Both mom and Anthony are all about meat. I took a small piece, not much, and was content.
Then Anthony got ready and we took him to his concert. Mom and I got a front row seat. My sister and niece were one row behind us (seats are hard to get!). Anthony is very good and none of them have ever heard him play. I was so happy. So very happy to have mom with me, right next to me, watching him at the drums.
I also had some things I had bought for her, she had asked for them for Christmas--a certain jam with low sugar--so I had them in the car in a little box for her to go home. I gave her one Lebkuchen, too, for last week for the first time, Trader Joes had them. I know she loves her cookies, but I know she's diabetic so I just gave her one.
I don't know how much time with mom I have left.
But that empty in my heart from missing Dad, was miraculously filled.
When we got home, I had trouble with my phone. I thought I'd killed it. It had dropped during the concert twice. I turned it off, and then on, and it took forever. He helped me stop panicking--I use it to wake up, and my work calls me on it. (I call my phone my 'slave device' because it tells me when I have to work--I can't be separated from it).
Somehow, he found not only his old baby pictures, but some short movies I took of him just months old. Him reaching for his toes, him cooing.
There was one where I was feeding him. My mom was in it too. I was like, who is holding the camera?
It was my dad.
He used to stay here too, with mom, while Anthony was little.
I heard his voice. Anthony was surprised, he had remembered it differently.
But I went to sleep both seeing my happiest memories--me being young, and Anthony being a baby, with my parents helping us out. The house was so empty, so clean, so new to us. There weren't any cracks and there wasn't even an inkling there would be cracks in anything. Anthony thought the way I dressed him was cute, and he approved.
It was a miracle for me. I went to sleep saying thank you and good night to Ross and Raphael, and to all my loved ones.
My need was filled, and in less than a day.
I was amazed.
My mom is so funny. She walked into Anthony's room, and said, 'it has really good energy here!'
Mine is next door. I kept the door closed because it's the bed was unmade.
She felt the crystals, my special grid which I share with all of you, their energy.
She didn't even know it was there.
It caught her attention.
Mom is open and awake, almost all the way--except she watches a little too much news!--and very psychic.
Carla had a hard time.
I did my best to help it.
To turn things around.
How do you think I did?
Always remember your guides are ready and waiting to assist.
Even if it's to help you through your life lessons.
Aloha and Mahalos,
Ross and Carla
The Reiki Doc Team Captains <3