Sunday, December 31, 2017

To Hades In A Handbasket

The dark ones are experiencing sudden loss of power. Their world is falling apart.

This is the culmination of a three or four year project where starting at the top down, the souls of the darkest leaders have been given a choice--heal or merge.  Healing means to be under direct supervision and remediation to heal from their habitual abuse of others, seeking power for themselves, and serving their ego without consideration for the effect on anything else. The lies must stop. The abuse must stop. The cheating must stop. Forever.  Merging means to choose to remain unchanged, face the consequences, and to be consumed in the Galactic Central Sun, to have their soul traits separated forever, and to be later rebuilt into newer souls.

Heal or merge.
Heal or merge.
Heal or merge.

You would be surprised at how many choose merge!

This has been going on twenty-four hours a day, three hundred sixty five days a year, and it still hasn't stopped yet.

Those select few who have chosen healing have been offered the best care available and are making slow but steady progress.

The elite have remained in power because of the two images above; with people chasing dollars they are able to exploit them, and live a live of grandeur because of all the 'worker bees' who are working under them.

They also take no chances--at possibly not winning--so, they have everyone in their pocket:  police, judges and courts, healthcare, education, finance, and the mainstream media.

They take no chances at being dominated or beat in business.  That is why there are many legitimate 'fronts' which hide illegal activity.  (pizza and coffee houses running pedophile rings, for example).

Child pornography is a key part of the power system.

It's more than just perversion.

It's a means of control for blackmailing people lured into 'compromising positions' on videotape taken without their knowledge during pedophile sexual acts.

(Kerth Barker describes performing fellatio on powerful leaders where there was a hidden camera in his series of books which are available on Amazon.)

According to him, 'Only now, many decades later, do I understand what was really going on. Senior, Shotzy, Bob and Ole Jack all worked for the Baron. And he worked for something called The Committee, and the Committee answered to the Illuminati leaders. Luciferian secret societies have been around since ancient times. The real purpose of these secret societies is tomato sure that the wealthy aristocrats remain wealthy, and in power. These Luciferian secret societies all know about one another, but some of them are somewhat independent of one another. The Society of Lucifer is a name for all the secret codifies from around the world when through of collectively. But they've never been completely unified. The Illuminati has the goal of unifying all these secret societies to create a single, all powerful world government. In those days, the Committee pretty much dominated the secret societies in the U.S., Europe and Israel.'  Kerth Barker, pp. 143-144, Angelic Defenders and Demonic Abusers

This 'structure' is collapsing.

And today I will show you examples of how clearly their 'unseen hand' can be seen as it works behind the scenes to impair justice.

To help us prepare, I am going to share a few verses that are mentioned on the wrappers at In and Out Burger, a Christian, family owned and operated organization:

  • Proverbs 1:32   For simpletons turn away from me--to death. Fools are destroyed by their own complacency.
  • Revelation 3:20   Behold, I stand at the door and knock:  if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.
  • Nahum 1:7   The LORD is good, a strong refuge when trouble comes. He is close to those who trust in him.
  • Proverbs 3:5-6   Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.
  • Proverbs 24:16   The godly may trip seven times, but they will get up again. But one disaster is enough to overthrow the wicked.

The other day I got the word Agammemnon in my mind. 

I looked it up. To be honest, it's kind of boring and predictable how one father is killed, a son vows revenge, achieves it, then the other son vows revenge, etc. etc. 

The image above is Mycenae an ancient grave site. 

I don't see how these sorts of power struggles which are recorded in ancient history could have ever happened without the covert, behind the scenes influence of the early equivalent of the Illuminati.

They are never mentioned in the history books.

However, there are secret libraries which account for the True History.

Kerth Barker has been in them. 

"One is written the Book of Five Rings that was composed by Miyamoto Musashi in 1643. Originally written as a book on martial arts, it has survived into the modern world because of its insights on the process of struggle between conflicting persons and groups. Many feel that it reveals insights applicable to many different types of human interactions." Kerth Barker   p. 93, Cannibalism, Blood Drinking and High Adept Satanism. (this book and the Five Rings book aren't hidden, we can read it too).

'...when I was a teenager I did read a somewhat similar Luciferian book called Way Of The Warlock.  It was written by a man who was a Freemason and a member of a Luciferian secret society. His name among the Society of Lucifer was Gregory, which means watchful. He used this book to show how ideas from Freemasonry and Satanism could be applied to military actions. Apparently he had been a combat soldier during the Great War and a professional mercenary afterwards. the book there was an illustration of an upward pointing pentagram. At each of the five points of the star was one of the five words. Starting at the top and circling in a clockwise fashion were these words:  Spirit, Air, Water, Earth and Fire. 

Spirit: When your enemy has superior strength, or when you don't know the strength of your enemy, you apply the strategy of Spirit. This is where you remain completely invisible to your enemy and you gather information about him, In the way of Spirit you only gather information and take no action. You make yourself into a Ghost Warrior who walks unseen among your enemy's camp and yet who sees all. You become invisible to your enemy when you wear his uniform.

Air:  When you know your enemy's strength, and you know it to be superior to your own, you apply the strategy of Air. You become as a Wind Warrior who moves quickly and unseen. You strike where you will, in quick actions followed by quick retreats. Like the wind, you rise from out of nowhere and disappear as quickly as you came. You leave behind damage like an angry storm, but none can capture you or your men.

Water:  When your enemy is fortified in a fixed position and becomes complacent, you apply the strategy of Water. The way of the Water Warrior is flexibility and speed. Moving in from all directions, you flood the enemy's encampment to wash away his men and equipment. Depending upon your enemy's size and strength, you may wash away the encampment completely, or retreat quickly like water flowing down a stream, leaving behind only partial damage.

Earth:  When you strength is such that you can resist your enemy's attack, and your position is known to him, you apply the strategy of Earth. You find the best defensible position and hold your ground. The way of the Earth warrior is to be unyielding when attacked. You stand like a mountain and are unmoved. You may tempt your enemy to attack you, but each time he does, he becomes weaker and you stronger. If you desire negotiations this would be the time when you indulge in such.

Fire:  When you have clear superiority over your enemy, don't screw around with strategy. The way of the Fire Warrior is to destroy his enemy without mercy or hesitation. Be like fire consuming dry wood and leave nothing behind of your enemy but his ashes. Take prisoners only when convenient and to your advantage. But the Fire Warrior in his passion must remember to not burn down those possessions worth looting. 

...A direct attack through a violent revolution against the wealthiest one percent would be foolish. It would generate sympathy for them and give them the excuse to use violence in response. The best way to attach the global plutocracy is indirectly, by informing the general population as to how they are being exploited. This would slowly weaken the global plutocracy's ability to influence the public. Eventually the public would break free from the control of this wealthiest one percent of the world's population. Then, authentic reform would be possible. This is not easy because the global plutocracy at this time virtually owns all the major mass media outlets for television, internet, and print media. Therefore those of us who fight back in this information war must be innovative and persistent.

It is also important to note that there is a spiritual component to this conflict. A philosophy of materialism has been actively promoted throughout the world. This has spiritually degraded the human race. A widespread spiritual awakening needs to take place. This is the only way to defeat the High-Adept Satanists. 

High-Adept Satanism is the philosophy and practice of those Satanists who seek to commune with Satan primarily through psychic means. They seek an intense and personal psychic connection with Satan. Their practices give them psychic powers behind those utilized by the average human being at this time. ''Kerth Barker, Cannibalism, Blood Drinking and High-Adept Satanism.

Let's take a moment to breathe and enjoy the soft gentleness of the flowers.

Remember, there is always time to listen to the birds, enjoy nature, and connect with Creator of All That Is, even in the darkest of times, particularly a deep spiritual awakening to the duplicity which has been hidden to us for all of our lives.

There...that's better!

Let's go on.

Absalom was the third son of King David, and the most handsome man in the kingdom.

His half-brother raped his sister Tamar. 

Two years later, Absalom avenged her. 

After that, some time later, Absalom was murdered in another revenge attack. 

This broke David's heart. 

David was a good man, closer to the Lord than most. He even made a mistake with Bathsheba and returned back to the Lord. 

I don't think all this trouble came to David by accident. Not even the Bathsheba part. 

I'm one hundred percent certain there were 'unseen hands' who were like the owl--the mascot of such dark secret societies--predators who hunt silently in the dark.  They wanted to destroy David and they did. They hate anyone who is close and loved by Creator of All That Is.

Now let's take a look at how they are attacking us, children of the Divine, and trying to bring ruin and heartbreak to our souls.

If you are new to awakening, I highly recommend Carolyn Limaco's work. She is thorough, and calm. She makes her points again with evidence you can see, and she presents it many different ways.  You can find her work that's been taken off YouTube through censorship--her best work--on Bitchute.

I myself saw a resemblance in the blue bottle logo to an erect phallus wearing a condom with a reservoir tip. 

So I looked up 'blue bottle' on Urban Dictionary.   It's not family-friendly. Also, incidentally, blueberries is another horrid term which may be related to all the secret language of the pedophiles.   Here is another link to their pedophile symbolism

This Keurig smashing Hannity article helps you to see trolling in action  and feel the confusion trolling dishes out. This makes sense. Why? Because everything is owned by the Illuminati, they don't want their pedophile 'gig' to be out in the open. The Twitter people are like, 'dude, this is sick, but them!' and the whole article just becomes bizarre when people who support Hannity smash their Keurigs in support of him since Keurig pulled their adversing.

Do you see it?

Do you see the filth which is hidden in plain sight? It's like a secret language the dark ones use to communicate with one another, but the general public doesn't understand.  And to cover their tracks, they make it confusing. 

The only real way to learn how to see it for what it is -- a horrendous lie which hurts innocent children--is to keep slogging through the information presented by Truthers, places like EarthZSchool, certain YouTuber's but some aren't 'exactly on our side'--and use lots of DISCERNMENT.

This is what I was doing the other day.  I know that the Shriners are a particularly bad form of Masonic groups. I've seen Shriner initiations in Harlem online--black Shriners/Masonic/Illuminati. And I had just watched Elf and I have heard that Will Farrell is a Shriner. They are supposed to be 'lighter and funnier' versions of the Masonic Temple--and he certainly IS funny! But his presence in the Lego Batman movie or the Lego Movie was kind of creepy. So I looked them up...

Then I found THIS:

Did you know Indiana has the highest percentage of Masons in the country? About seventy percent of the population is involved with these temples.

So I watched this video--I had no idea--I had no idea the Indianapolis 500 is like the Super Bowl--in an occult sense.

This one Cynthia describes how the Illuminati cheated her out of her inheritance, how they followed her, and how they encouraged her to kill herself and handed her the pills to do it. She woke up, and is now a Truther. 

This is also special to me because it shows a brief photo of Svali, who was a brave survivor of SRA, she was actually a trainer too, who left. Nothing has been heard of her, she recalls being followed like Cynthia. And like Ron the Dutch Banker who exposed them and was murdered...she and her family are likely murdered too. As they are threats to their secrecy of the secret societies.

If you haven't read this blog post from me, I encourage you to scroll down to the part where they list the Talmud's description of goyim--how they have no legal rights--and will lose in any lawsuit against a member of the Jewish faith. (crypto-Jewish, the bloodlines).

I was in the O.R. on Friday, and they brought up Mark Rettenmaier. He was a local OB/Gyn who was caught with child pornography. He brought his computer in to be serviced, and the technician found material on the hard drive. He reported it to the federal government.   Apparently the porn was on EVERY phone, computer, and electronic device.  My surgeon and tech knew him, and said 'he was the nicest guy you would ever know'  -- there was no inkling Mark would be capable of such a thing!

I knew. Anyone deeply into the occult/SRA would have this--perhaps with alter personalities--and either would collect it if they were rich Illuminati--or to use it for blackmail--or to make money. It happens!

Well, what happened to Mark? What do you know? The case was thrown out and he walked free!

Who owns the courts? Who owns the media? Who owns the judges? Hmmmm?

The poor victim doctor, right? By the way his google ratings are 2.3. He's not doing well with his patients, either.

Here it comes again. In a day care situation.  'Poor victim Satanists':

Who owns the law? Who owns the courts? Who owns the mass media? Hmmmm?

The same people who practice THIS!

I am not joking.

Bestiality is discussed twice in Kerth Barker's books. Once they had a mind-controlled wife of a senator or congressman 'service' a horse on film, to blackmail him. Another was to have a marriage of the beast pornography video with a woman named Daisy who was also mind controlled. 

How could this be happening?

I ask again, who owns the media? Who owns the film industry? Who owns TV?

You may be asking yourself, is there any way out from this disaster?

Fortunately there is.

People are awakening in droves and sharing this information with one another! Just like in this message from the Council:

Here is an excellent article/video on RF Exposure:

Here is a wonderful example of how we can help each other. This person, like the RF guy, talks about hacking and how to know if your phone is hacked, and how to prevent it:

As you can see, there are so many more of us than Those Who Do Not Have Our Best Interest At Heart.

Their world is crumbling.

Their world is falling apart around them because people are wanting to be free from the enslavement of the systems which have been built to make society function in a way which benefits the one percent and harms the 'goyim'--everyone else who is not 'in the club'.

Freedom is inviting!

Take it.

Take what is offered to you.

Work in Spirit, work WITH Spirit, and allow both your intuition and your discernment to guide you.

Help your friends and look out for each other!

We are now in an era of soft disclosure.

A contract has been signed.

Look for articles in the media to the effect of 'what if life outside of planet earth is possible?'

I know for the last week, Kevin and Bean on KROQ had 'conspiracy theories you would believe' phone call topics with their listeners, who called in and shared their UFO stories. 

It was supportive.

Everything is working out for the best.

At the right rate, at the right time.

Together Ross and I wish you a Happy New Year.

This is a video of a clock with old sad things every hour in 2017, which is transformed and replaced with GOOD things as 2018 comes in.

Ross wants me to share one more thing with you.

I was in the O.R. last week with many patients with bad pelvic pain.

I saw this and called in my teams.

I saw them, in a circle, beaming laser-like white light from their palms to the abdomen/pelvis of my patient. 

It was breathtaking!

Ross, Michael, Raphael, Merlin and Raziel. 

They wore their uniforms from flight--flight suits?--and were incredibly healthy, intelligent, handsome, and engaged in healing like soldiers in battle who are winning the fight!

I knew in my heart that all sexual trauma and abuse, particularly from SRA, was healed that day--for we are one! And when the one is healed, all the others are healed too. 

I was sharing this with a friend yesterday, and he said, Michael says, 'they rock and roll and you can shake your booty to it!'

It's going to be an amazing year, and incredibly fun.

Please don't get discouraged by the awakening process.

And Ross has one last share for you. We watched, me and Anthony, the Secret of Roan Inish--of Seal Island--movie last night.  It's about Selkies. He's like you to watch it if you have the time. It's a wonderful movie for our era. Watch the girl, and how the family comes to believe her.  It's about the two worlds which unite.

clap! clap!

Aloha andMahalos,

Ross and Carla
The Reiki Doc Couple

P.S. Ross wants you to know Carla spent three hours writing this for you. From when she first woke up at seven thirty to ten thirty now. Anthony has been patient and kind waiting for his meal and to start his day. Please remember his sacrifice to the cause. 

Friday, December 29, 2017

Feeling The Overwhelming Love

Can you believe I only have twenty minutes to write this?  And I'm not stressed?

There has been a change for the better.

I'll try to explain it.

Last night, I made a deal with Anthony--I was tired and post call--and the deal was 'I'll cook you clean'. He greatly enjoyed his dinner of 'shit on a shingle'--ground turkey in gravy over mashed potatoes. We actually had courses, one of my mom's apples from her tree with some cheese from Beecher's as a starter. Then a LOT of salad, in the style of my nana--onion, tomato, romaine...and some radishes for me. Simple vinaigrette homemade. Then the main course. Anthony was adorable--mom? which one is the shit and which one is the shingle? We even had a paleo dessert...thawed frozen blueberries, fresh pomegranate, and mascarpone cream.  Oh, he tried to make it sound like it was the end of the world when it came to the dishes. I'd actually put each course into the dishwasher as I served. It was a lot of pots and pans, I'll admit. And he did the work. I thanked him.

His doing the work helped me so I could go to bed earlier. I folded sheets, and I put a load of laundry in the dryer while he worked. 

We were both working! And less of the burden was on me.

(now I have fifteen minutes)

Ross is helping me in tangible ways.

For example, I had bought a waxed cotton cord bracelet with a fleur de lys on it for my friend whose mom had just passed She trained in NOLA. So I figured it would be a good reminder for her. 

Ross said no. So I gave it to myself as a Christmas gift in my stocking.

I wore it all on Boxing day. It hurt like crazy. The glue had been stretchy. I had to go home and take scissors to it. Now it doesn't hurt. 

You see? The trust it builds between a couple when he does his part--helping me with the unseen.

He also has been taking steps to increase our intimacy to improve my psychological well-being.

He gave me a symbol for 'commitment'.

He calls me his woman, and says, 'I couldn't live without you'.

I have a sense of his love through this, and his intensity of his love in ways that make sense to me.

His love has never wavered since before I was born, this I know.

But the feeling of being here, under the veil, has been so lonely! Now the loneliness is starting to dissolve.

The other day he hinted to me to go to a Mexican place for dinner. I obeyed to drive that way. I've had a little too many tamales lately. Then he was more clear--go to the crystal store--which I did.

Amanda was there. She's moved to Northern California. She looked GOOD. Total earth mama vibe coming off her. I remember right when she left, she was anxious. I was glad to see her.

I was also glad to see that change can be good.

I will share with you a phrase which works like magic.

'This or something better'.

I've been really going up with the gratitude, saying 'Thank you for THIS or something better' and it's starting to work.

As a soul who has had much taken away, I tend to hold on to things. I want them to last forever. This is reasonable given the situation with Ross in our past life.

Through this practice I'm starting to SEE how 'this or something better' makes it OKAY to let go. It invites Spirit to enter a dance with you in your daily life.

This is exactly what is going on right now with Ross and me, just like on the dance floor, he has his steps (which are as good as backwards to mine for he is in Spirit), and I have mine. Together, we move across the dance floor to the glorious cosmic symphony of Life.

To be true, we are still learning--I'm learning!--he says he is too. And the results are good.

This brings us to the fundamental dilemma of duality.

Service to self?

Service to others?

Manifesting appears to be 'service to self'' doesn't it?

Do what thou wilt--and I want x and y and z.

Many people struggle to 'manifest'  material things, or romantic things, or spiritual things.

That's because they are still in that mode in their heads--of duality.

Think about it.

If you were a Lightworker, and wanting to help lots of people with your assignment, would you want to make money from your work--or stay under the radar and keep a day job too?


Carolyn Limaco is the next one to say, 'I'm not able to support myself, I will need to get a job. This full time research isn't paying out'.

Meline was like this last month.

Many people are trying Patreon with no success.

THIS is how censorship works! They go after the money. They choke you out, hoping you will stop your efforts. And THEY is 'Those Who Do Not Have Our Best Interest At Heart'.  That's how they roll. Embarrassment, shame, blackmail, infiltration...

This or something better is the key. It gets Spirit involved from the 'service to others' side of things.

It's like asking Spirit to dance out on the dance floor with you.

My time is up.

Which is a good thing because I ran out of pictures!

Ross will speak when I'm not late for work.  There's school break, I need to cook for A and me--he will miss me--then we drive to alternate childcare.

Ross wants me to write this.

I will still make my spiritual services available to empower Lightworkers, and to sustain them.

I have two huge successes:

  • My high school friend Shauna Reynolds saw my daily Reiki healings I send to my friends. She got curious. She took classes. Now she is a Reiki master and the newest member of TDWR. Wow!
  • I offered someone free bracelets for a year, just to help them out of crisis. I never imagined what change could happen in a year. It was like a hungry baby bird who fell out of the nest, this person NEEDED the energy in small doses to support them. I never gave it a second thought. They worked so well, this person, who has never been able to gain weight, did! To the point of needing to go up a little in the bracelet size, from five and a half inches, to like, six. I saw a photo, as this person thanked me for sending the latest ones. It was a selfie.  And I almost didn't recognize the energy any more. Life wasn't a bed of roses, but the anchor to Gaia was strong, the energy was flowing smooth and healthy, and there was a hint of being able to joke around a bit in a nice way in the energy. You don't crack jokes unless you are in a good space--healthy jokes. I'm still blown away by the results and very encouraged by this.

Ross wants our menu.

Here is a rough version.


Negativity reducing (clears the energy around the wearer) -- thirty dollars free shipping domestic USA

Grief support with pure angelite (I can make about ten then my one bead runs out) -- forty dollars, etc

Jingle blue -- ten dollars free shipping again domestic

Ross and Carla bracelet updated version--slow, steady support to the newly awakening -- fifty dollars

Second Chances --thirty dollars (pictures will come later)


Loving Embrace of Gaia -- makes a bubble of 5D around you that is impenetrable --  fifty

The Rose Petal Shield of blessings -- ten

The Ross Bondo Shield -- heals all your old hurts once and for all (with lessons it makes them less painful but still you need to do the work) -- one hundred

I hope to also show the donations on a running track sheet, so you may have complete transparency.  

My inventory of beading supplies has cost thousands, know we, Ross and I, are contributing to the cause bring these healing tools to you.

Request them if you like,, or PM me on FB at DWR.


clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,

Ross and Carla
The Couple

Tuesday, December 26, 2017

Having The Talk

I had an amazing day today. Woke up, got Anthony, and headed out together to Knott's Berry Farm.

The last time I was there, my sister Vanessa worked at a place called Argosy, and SHE knew a person who had test driven a Toyota, gotten one free ticket or two, I forget, and couldn't use it. 

Anthony was in a stroller.

That's how long ago it was. 

Again, last time, and this time, it was the holiday version of the park. The time before, everything was decorated, even the log ride.  Our photo we bought of us on the ride had a holiday border to it. This time, not so much. The Calico mine ride was decorated on the train and the waiting area.

I do have something fascinating to share. The mine ride and the log ride and I think one other ride are owned and operated by a separate company within the park. The Holbut company. And when I was on the log ride, I saw that name on a crate that was a decoration. 

Anthony's grandfather, on the paternal side, worked on that ride for like seven years in the sixties and seventies, and it was, in his opinion, 'the best job I ever had'. 

That's how I know.

Back to today, it was fun. Just plain fun. We rode a roller coaster called Jaguar, it was a 'four'. Very mellow. 

Then I asked Anthony if he wanted to ride Montezooma's revenge?

He was surprised! It was a 'five'.  A 'five' is an aggressive roller coaster, extreme thrill, not for the faint-of-heart.

I told him I had been on that ride the first day it opened, and it was one of my favorites. It slingshots the train of cars through a loop, then straight up, then it falls and goes through the loop backwards, goes straight up in reverse, then the ride comes back to a stop. 

He LOVED it. I did too.

But I can't take it, like I did when I was thirteen. It's a shame, really. I used to enjoy those rides so much. 

The funny thing is, someone called my name shortly after. We were by 'Accelerator' and it's REALLY scary. Anthony has been on it. I would never go. It was closed and I was looking at it in sheer horror.

It was my childhood friend Kimberly Newcomb.

She was THERE with me on that day the ride Montezooma's Revenge opened!! We used to hang out together with the same group of friends. She remembered it too! Today, I had the pleasure to meet her husband, daughter, and two grandsons, Ezra and Colin. 

She didn't recognize me at first, but she knows Anthony from Facebook. Then she saw me. 

The highlight of today was the Snoopy holiday Ice skating show.

The second highlight was having Anthony pick a geode and watching it get sawed into two pieces. There's a super nice fossil and gem store in the park. 

A third highlight was having boysenberry pie and boysenberry punch for a snack. You know, the name 'Knott's Berry Farm' is sold to Smucker's. They changed the recipe. If you look, it's all with high fructose corn syrup.  The Knott's Berry Farm at the grocery store actually isn't from Knott's Berry Farm any more. However, at the park, you can buy jellies and jams with a different label, that's the actual true recipe from the past. It's reasonably priced, too. 

Ghost town is awesome! Just like the old west. There's a jail where someone must see you on camera. Anthony asked the fake dummy in the jail cell how he got in there and how long? When can he come out. The man said, 'I didn't listen to my mom. I didn't stay in school. I've been here forty years'.

I was cracking up.

The man said, 'goodbye giggles!' to me when we left. 

We left at an early hour.

OH! I forgot! The wild chickens. When we had to give up ours, we let them loose at Knott's. There was an area by the picnic area is now, that had a lake and you could go for fifty cents. The park was eleven dollars. For our small family, we were poor, so we would take a picnic and go to the fifty cent part. They had cool wooden animals, a teeter totter (see-saw), and when mom was pregnant with Vanessa everyone would have a good time.

Goldie was a little Bantam.

I'll be darned but these chickens here sort of looked like her, kind of mixed up colors and shapes, but her, and some SOUNDED like her exactly. The little darker ones with attitude sounded like her. And the larger one had her color and her face. They were her great great great grandkids!

It made me glad.

This came up when I was just going for a walk at home to clear my head.

It started with, 'Ross, I have to thank you because I just need a strong shoulder in my life. I know technically I have five of them, but when you're sad, you just need one to focus and I feel closest to you.'

I told him how without spiritual help I don't know how I would keep it together--working, paying bills, planning for retirement, figuring out when or where to's too complicated for me and it's not my strength!

I told him how I long to have a partner who can help me with these decisions...

That's when it came up.

Not the pain.

Just the old problem.

Whenever you are in a relationship, its never a perfect match, even with Twin Flames--when one or both are incarnate. 

Ross was always out there doing his own thing. He was so far advanced in spiritual matters he totally, totally, totally neglected the everyday, especially when it came to his relationship with me.

When we were a different set of twins incarnated --and I was the temple girl--it was a nice life. We advanced spiritually, were comfortable, and except for my being buried alive with him in his tomb so no one else could defile me and I could tend to him in his was a good life. I liked how we didn't have the crazy crowds in that life and I preferred it over the most recent one with all that madness...

He understood.

Galactics like Ross are never upset over a truth, when you are telling your feelings.

He actually asked me questions to help me get to put words on it.

He asked me, what would you like?

And in this question, I knew it's really ironic because I am subject to time, and he isn't. I had to find a middle ground.

I came up with three simple points.  I wanted to know if we have a place to live, and I can help pick it (in both of my marriages, the husbands had a home, and I moved into theirs). Ross reassured me we have one, and my HS gave the okay, so I will be happy once I'm there...and as an aside, we both--me and Ross--saw the painful scar I had from my two marriages in this incarnation over the place to live. It's a huge reason why I am having trouble figuring out where to go. Between school moves with training, and the marriage moves...I kind of like to stay put!

The second point was that a relationship has a natural growth to it, a daily interaction, ups and downs, which help the couple to get to know the little things. They decide together which way the relationship will go...when to retire, etc. It's a partnership through the life experience.

I wanted to know if Ross has a plan? And are we planning this together? 

With this one, we both saw clearly, the painful scars, from his being there for everyone in the world--except me, his anchor where he clearly felt secure enough to the point of wandering all over the world with his teachings! And my having to 'fend for myself'...for so long. 

The last part was I wanted to know his hopes and dreams, and my hopes and dreams, and how we would share our dreams with one another, and support each other--once time is gone and I'm on the same frequency as him--to move the relationship forward in a natural way?

There was never any blame on my part, and the pain was more of a memory than the kind of pain that feels just as painful when you bring it up. It's more of a 'that didn't work in the relationship' learning, and desire to improve and not make that same mistake again on either of our parts.

Ross was a little taken aback by my candor.

I think the part that really got to him, is how I was able to discuss the problem from a perspective which honors both my life experience here--under the veil and subject to time, in a human body--and his life experience there--with a light body in the realm of spirit--and find ways to work through our situation to make the best of it.

He hadn't expected that.

He knows me, he knows me well. He watches me and he sees the future. Everyone can where he is. It has to do with probabilities, and most likely outcomes, etc. It's not perfect. So a little thing like this can catch him off guard.

He's very confident, and doesn't get rattled, ever. And even with a totally unexpected thing like that, he always recovers well. And he does this FAST. It's almost imperceptible.

Ross has a habit of 'data gathering' while he's figuring out a way to respond. I've never met anyone like him in that way.

He asked me questions about what I want from him, and guided me along, for example, I can feel him--physically--and I KNOW he's there. But it's so much easier to know with my human ears, my human eyes, my human touch, and not my spirit ones. They are weaker. It takes more energy for me to use it. 

He was like, 'do you feel this?' and he hugged me.  I did, and I told him.

I told him I know without a doubt in my heart, he's there, and always with me. I even tried to shake him as my Twin, to ditch him forever, and I failed at that, I couldn't. Which is natural and makes sense given our stormy experiences...

I told him I'm so glad we are together now and I would never want to go back to the unknowing of 'us' again.

That's the kind of soul conversations we have when we are alone. I'm writing this because he asked me to write it when we finished our conversation. He wants you to get a feel for how things work between here and the other side.

His response to me, took me completely aback.

He was all business.

He looked me in the eye, pressed me on the arm. He said, 'I have a plan.'

I relaxed.  He had a plan for 'us', for our future. 

I already mentioned the part about the housing, his response.

And then he said, he is looking forward to our growing closer too. There isn't anything to hold our souls back from intimacy, even in the afterlife/what comes next whatever it is. 

This made me glad. 

He also said our future would be in the middle, not like either extreme--just us two and no crowds, or him away from me with the overwhelming crowds. 

This gave me hope.  He reassured me it is something 'doable' and there would be ample time for us to be alone. We aren't going to go that old way again.

Tonight's sunset was surreal.

We are talking bent clouds with vertical black stripes.

I commented to Anthony, with frustration, 'why do they keep barely cloaking those things? why don't they just uncloak them completely, once and for all, and let people get over it so we can get on with things????'

The sky out here hasn't been normal all day. Very hazy. Hard to breathe. Lots of chemtrails. Then the bizarre clouds. 

To be honest the only thing that is helping is counting the days when they finish.

The 'we are one day closer to Home!' countdown. I have no clue as to how many days it's going to be. 

I do know the full moon is building, and at the half moon today, the energies are really powerful. I'm looking forward to it.


It's time for my woman to get her 'beauty rest' and get some sleep.

(he clears his throat--ed)

(then he gestures with his hands palms curved, fingers outstretched, kind of like a position one would use to hold a hamburger, and moving on hand relative to the other back and forth--ed)

I'm trying to show you how the two worlds meet.

This is the purpose of my intention to share our private relationship issues with you.

(holds one finger up--ed)  It's not the topic or the subject per se, it's the willingness of both parties to abandon blame for past hurts (touches his chest--ed) and I've had my share of them too, in that relationship and even in this one with me here and her there, let me tell you. Carla is a pistol when she gets angry and all fired up. She let me have it! You can read about it in the blog here plenty a time.

But that's my woman, I like Spirit, and it makes the rough patches worth it to get near and observe the workings of her incredible mind and heart, especially as she is under the Illusion, of the veil, and coming to me.

It's breathtaking how she takes her stride, and consistently makes progress without realizing she is hitting the bar or exceeding it.  She has no clue.

When the average person is able to hold a conversation like this, and to hold on to their part, without the blame, without the denial, and with an open heart, THAT'S when yours truly--me and you and Carla and everyone else in our 'family' too--is going to be truly HOME in the Higher Realms.

These are the type of conversations all of you are having with your teams already every night when you are asleep.

This straightforward.

This direct.

And totally practical.

Once when you, in your incarnate 'waking' state --which is utterly false in that 'waking' is totally asleep/under the illusion of separation from source and Divine Creator, am I right?--are able to purport yourself and present yourself to us with all the candor and professionalism that you do when you are with us at night and outside of your bodies--then everybody and his brother will be well on their path to their Journey's total and complete Ascension, a planet and her people--will be in the books! (for those of you who do not have English as a native language, this term 'in the books' is American slang for having a sports event be complete and now 'in the records'.)

clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,

Ross and Carla
your friends and your guides
who just happen to be Twin Souls/Illuminated Twin Flames (which is an angelic term and has absolutely nothing to do with Those Who Do Not Have Our Best Interest At Heart. They usurped the term 'Light' from us too. It's mutually exclusive--their term for it, their meaning--and ours up here 'on angels' wings')

I See

I see.

I see so much more today than I saw yesterday.

About life, and also, about myself.

Twelve years of sharing Anthony for Christmas, on top of twenty-three years of working holidays, has really hurt my self-esteem and my quality of life.

Today was difficult for me.

After only one hour awake opening gifts (all the ones with no name on them were for Anthony, it saved me time. LOL)--it was time to take Anthony to his dad's house.  His grandparents were here from Arizona, and his cousins and Great Aunt and Great Uncle were due later that day.

It was awkward.

There is familiarity between us and the grandparents. Jared and I get along well when they are in a different state. But when they are here, they are setting the agenda and it's confusing at best for me as a 'baby mama'.

I've been called their daughter by them, I've gone to a family funeral, yet there's constant pressure from the brother Ian who hates me to this day.

Anthony didn't know what I was invited to do. Since Ian moved to Seattle, I had hoped for peace and nurturing, warmth, love and compassion.

Instead, I wasn't offered a cup of coffee even, never mind the Christmas Breakfast Anthony thought I was finally invited to join.

We exchanged gifts. And after about five minutes, the axe fell:  next year Ian wants the family in Seattle.

This means no Christmas--my legal right--with our son!

Furthermore, it was 'time to leave' because 'Ian was anxious to open gifts on Skype together between both homes'.

That's right, a four day drive away, and he calls the shots.

I took the few minutes there to my advantage. Tim Braun has said Uncle Dick had visited Anthony from his dad's side of the family. He put his hand on Anthony's heart and told him not to be angry at his dad's side of the family, they are doing the best they can.

I pumped the grandparents for information about this mysterious uncle who I met only once when Anthony was two months old.

He was married to the sister of Patrice's dad.  Uncle Dick is her uncle by marriage. He was a teacher, as well as his wife Evie, and Patrice's dad. All of them were from Indiana. He and Evie were in a relationship that was long distance. He found a good life here, she came out, and also, he told her brother there was a big recruitment for teachers in California.

Their homes were very close to each other in Anaheim.

He was a counselor, and so was his wife. They worked up to being school counselors.

It makes sense he would visit from beyond to help Anthony.

I gathered up my dignity, and I left when it was time. The grandparents gave me a fond goodbye, in a hurry, because they are clearly fonder for Ian over anybody else in the family. I was invited to visit them in Arizona. 'Any time'. And also told to 'enjoy my day'.

I couldn't think of anything more cruel to say to a baby mama, than to have her know she's no longer welcome, and send her out into the cold to be alone without her son on Christmas day.  Furthermore that the 'telling Ian to get over it' two years ago, lost its steam, and there is no peace in that realm for our son and grandson.

I'll never forget the joy Anthony had on his face two years ago, after ten years of 'it's her or me' from Ian, when I was permitted to Ian's home for the family gift opening. Patrice forced it. To have both his parents in the same holiday at the same time! It was so nice for Anthony to have both sides of him welcomed on Christmas for the first time in his life. I thought it would be forever like that. I was wrong.

What I see is despite the appearances and good intentions, there is no nurturing, warmth, love or compassion for me--as it would be with my family--or with my Home in Heaven. 

These people, as Uncle Dick says, truly ARE doing the best they can. 

They are, unfortunately, extremely limited with their ability to open their hearts.

What I could see, tonight, after licking my wounds and soaking up the nurturing, warmth, love and compassion at my sister's house like a sponge at dinner--is that the behavior says a whole lot more about Ian, Jared, Jen (Ian's wife), and the grandparents than it does about me. 

So I forgave them the hurt that they caused my poor heart on Christmas day...

I felt lighter after I forgave them.

When I came home to my empty house, my neighbors had parked in my spot without asking. Anthony and I had noticed when he was riding his new bike, that the neighbors had 'borrowed' my Aloe Vera plant without asking, moved the expensive pot/plant into the street, stuck a pole into it, and mounted the thing that shines lights on the house.

It was an insult.

The dad of the many adult children saw me as they were moving the cars around--to keep the twenty four hour limit on the visitor spot without ever making it available to the rest of the neighbors--and he came out of his car and hugged me and said thank you. His brother was coming that day.

I couldn't say no.

What his family chooses to do isn't right.

This morning Anthony asked why they keep doing this to me? I told him if I had a man in the house it wouldn't happen. My neighbor Lisa had her husband Michael tell them not to park in their spot. Michael is like six foot four and very imposing. They listened. I told Anthony you are tall but still a boy and they won't listen to you.

The highlight of my morning--in that brief hour--was the miracle. Anthony had made his dad drive him to the Le Labo store on Balboa Island, and bought me a bottle of lotion and a bottle of bath oil in my favorite scent, Rose 31. It smells just like the hotel we stay at in Hawaii. When he had asked me what I want for Christmas, I had told him that. And I said, 'I'll have to drive you after Christmas' because I knew his father would never drive him.

He paid for it himself, Anthony.

His father remarked to him at the store that I have expensive taste.

He didn't understand. Thankfully, our son did. I wanted to smell like my Heaven on Earth, the place where I wake up at the crack of dawn and snorkel. The place I go to in my mind when I just can't take it any more. He wanted to bring that here to me.

For Christmas I got a beautiful necklace with a tree of life, and a blue jade bracelet from a very gifted healer. It meant so much.

I also got some cards from people I know online, as well as those I've known over the years.

A PACU RN bought me a mug from Florence, and biscotti. I had my Peet's holiday blend from my sister in it. She couldn't let me go without a little something. So she gave me Lindt, dark chocolate M and M candies, and a pound of the most special Peet's. She gets me a little something every year She's so kind!

I bought myself one ornament (Hallmark scrub one for this year) and the tiniest box of chocolates from See's that has six pieces. I also bought nesting dolls of the three kings, and a tin of chocolates for Ross. Everything else was Star Wars for Anthony, ornaments and a deluxe set  of six pairs of socks.

My oldest cousin and his wife sent me cookies in the mail.

Mom gave me a check. It was super kind of her.

Simple is good. For the whole holiday. I'm content. I helped brighten MANY lives, thanks to the help of our supporters, and for this all is well. <3 Thank you.

I saw this last night, it helped:

Then another film I saw this morning helped me to understand why Ian hates me--I had a child outside of wedlock, and I'm independent financially--it's too much of this 'vibe' for him. BTW, this film ISN'T for the sexual part, that's not my point. It's the class of women who are not slaves to men in ancient times--that is the point.

Queens of Heaven by Robert Sephir

This one here, delighted me, and also, validated me. I saw it while I was going through my emails. It's my home...Berkeley College of Chemistry and Chemical Engineering. The one who says Joyeux Noel was a brand new Chem E professor when I started. He was a Chemistry PhD from UC Santa Barbara, and he taught us Chemical Engineering 101--he was learning it as he was teaching us. Now he's the chair of the department. Dr. Jeffrey Reimer. The richness of the diversity really warms my heart.

Ross wanted me to watch a movie on Netflix.

I did.

It's called the Tree Man.  It's about François, a father of three in Quebec, who moves down to NY City for one month every year to sell Christmas Trees. His stand is at Broadway and 102nd street. The documentary is about the people who know him, and buy from him every year. A Jewish woman from Holland lets him shower at her house. He lives in his van he's named 'Elvis'. There's a night watchman named Angel who watches the trees while Francois sleeps.

I liked how François is open about how he feels about the whole thing. He loves  his family. He's never been able to pick a tree with them. He hasn't been able to keep anything but odd jobs. So he does this sacrifice to help his family survive the year. 

There's two helpers, Jason and Nelson, who deliver the trees. 

The documentary talks about others like François who sell trees on the street in the city.

It was good. 

Ross has good taste.

I had been on my emails because I have a terrible deadline. I need to beef up my time on a simulator to meet a certain requirement for my certification. I arranged it so I could study at home.

You can imagine my surprise when I saw a Master Class ad--for Alice Waters!

I jumped at the chance.

This was my message to her:

Twenty years ago, I lived on Francisco Street in Berkeley. I was recovering from brain surgery, and walked the neighborhood often. Chez Panisse was right there. Alice Waters was my hero. I had to choose between two dreams, to become a doctor or to find a way to study with Alice. Both were important in my heart. I am an anesthesiologist now, hopefully, a little like Alice in the sense I am a pioneer. I am known online as 'Reiki Doc' and have formed a small community of people who want 'healing' put back into the 'healers' in conventional medicine. Now, as a miracle, I get a second chance to learn from Alice herself! I am thrilled and eager to just spend time learning what she has to share. She's motivated me since I started as an undergrad in 1982, when I had surgery in 1990, and left for medical school in San Diego in 1996. I adore cooking, I get the organic box to my door every week with fresh seasonal produce. Bless you Alice and Bless you Master Class! I want to learn ALL! (I've eaten only twice at Chez Panisse. She even makes foods I ordinarily wouldn't like taste wonderful!) Merry Christmas!

I'm super excited. I feel that it's Ross' Christmas gift to me.

Then I did the simulator. I'm horrible at video games. The patient on the simulator has died on me twice because I can't figure out where all the little buttons are that correspond to my daily life. Fortunately there's no limit to how many times you take it. They say you will crash and burn at the beginning since there's a learning curve to 'drive' the simulator. I raised my score from twenty-six percent to sixty something. You need seventy percent to pass.

I was in a funk when it was time to go to my sister's house. I'm an early person. And they are a little 'later'. For dinner I was like, should I drive? What about when I go to sleep? And the next days when I go back to work?  Fortunately I asked Ross (with my pendulum) and he said to go right away.

So I did.

Technically I'm still on backup call, until seven a.m. But I haven't been called in.

I go to sleep with contentment.

Life goes on.

My sister gave good advice about the Seattle thing. She says a lot depends on if Anthony wants to go. If he does, then, let him. If he doesn't, then, say no. She says it would be important for his dad to take him anywhere while he still cares for his dad to take him somewhere.

My brother-in-law said that then, the following year, I can have him for the whole time too.

I appreciate the insights very much. It makes my nightmare and anxiety less.

They took care to let me know I'm always welcome.

I realized when there is a LACK of nurturing, warmth, love and compassion--as Higher Conscious/Ascended beings--it takes its toll on us, as we have feelings and are human 'this time around'.

What HEALS us is being in the love of our family--earth family, Star family, work family, 'friends as your family of choice'--where you can be vulnerable and gather your strength. 

Humanity has been exposed to the ultimate LACK of nurturing, warmth, love and compassion at the hands of Those Who Do Not Have Our Best Interest At Heart.  Once everyone 'awakens' to the point, like I did earlier today, that no matter what Jared's family says and does in their 'level of Consciousness' as good will to me, in the grand scheme of things, it hurts--because it ISN'T like 'home' in any sense. So...going BACK to HOME and being vulnerable in a safe environment (with angels! and our guides!) will expedite the healing.

This lesson has taken me many long years to comprehend.

Fill your cup.

The Council and all the channelers say this again and again.

It's not just nurturing yourself. It's not just 'put your own oxygen on first'. It's taking a good look at what happened, with eyes that 'see', accepting it, taking steps to heal, and regaining your composure again.

I look forward to next Christmas, because I know there is support--not just like Ross with the movie and the Master Class--but family support.

Christi found my birthday gift...from summer.

It's from Disney World, I forgot they went.  A mug and also a tote bag, both with Tinkerbell, and my name on it. I love Tinkerbell when she flies before the fireworks show.

I realized with something FROM there, I was able to accomplish similar work by extension in that location, as I've been doing all along here in Anaheim.

I'll sleep well.  I felt a huge energy blockage release when I healed it.

I've been waiting for this to happen for a long time.


Ross wants me to show the tamales I had for lunch, the raja ones (no meat, cheese and peppers inside only)

In looking for that I also saw his heart he sent me as I went to the car alone after leaving Anthony there. (They are keeping him overnight, it's not their turn, it's Monday, which is my home night, but the grandparents are setting the agenda again).

 It meant so much.

Ross honey are you going to say anything?

He shakes his head no.

I hear him say, 'I love my Carla'.

He also gave me a Reiki symbol today, the strongest one. It's the Seraphim symbol. You open and close your hands with an accent on the opening two times. I know it will work for us. He's not talking if it will work for you. He says, 'shhhh'.

We send you our love.

Ross bows in gassho, instead of clapping.

Aloha and Mahalos,

Ross and Carla
The Twins