Sunday, December 17, 2017

You Will Have So Much Angel!

You will have so much angel!

This is what I heard right before I woke up this morning. These messages are the clearest and most direct from Home that I ever get on a regular basis.

Most of the time they don't always play out during my day.

But they give me hope.

It is with this renewed sense of hope that I share what happened to me yesterday during a healing.

I saw in a post that Lightworker Sang Nguyen had been in an automobile accident. He was badly shaken and bruised, but not seriously hurt.

I decided to send him Reiki.

Because I am Karuna Reiki, I can go directly to the soul to ask for permission, and permission to be given Reiki was obtained.

I showed myself in my true form to Sang.

My true form is a cross between the above two images.

I glow.

I am very beautiful and young.

I stood in the periphery of his awareness as I had arrived unannounced to his consciousness.  I didn't want to startled him.

He recognized me, and was drawn to me at once.

What happened next startled ME.

He embraced me, put his head on my chest, and started to cry uncontrollably.

When you are an angel, you understand the unspoken words in the sobs and the tears.

He was extremely fed up with the situation on earth, frustrated by the whole project, and thankful to have found me--whom he recognized as Lady Gaia Sophia on a soul level--on a conscious level, someone from home who is connected to the earth, as in Mother Earth. I felt the longing, the deep longing, of his soul for what he thirsts being quenched by this encounter.

He had given his ALL for this project, I could tell.

I embraced him and comforted him as a mother would comfort a child.

I also called with my heart to Ross, who soon was standing near, behind me, to my side a little, so that when Sang looked up he could see us both.

At some point the tears slowed, and Sang looked up.

On his face was a look of shock and horror, and he blurted out, 'am I going to die?!'

I reassured him, and Ross did too, that this was not the case. I gently explained that he is my partner and twin, and truly, in his own right, 'Papa Earth'.

Sang was astounded with this Truth.

If it wasn't for the energy of us both, none of this (I gesture to everything around us) would 'work'.

Ross and I together held Sang close to us for a long time.

Then Ross gestured to me he was going to need some time alone with Sang to assist him, and he let me know it was okay for me to go.

I saw Ross taking Sang by the hand down a hallway, and Sang very excited with MANY questions, and Ross patient as ever, encouraging Sang the whole time.

Ross has been helping me a lot as my frustration levels are reached on a daily basis.

In the mornings, on my way to work, he invites me to my favorite spot of ocean, where I can snorkel with him. He splashes the water to get my attention, and invites me in. He shows me the pretty fish he likes. I watch the water drip off his beard. I feel him hold my hand.

I tell him I want to make friends with a Moray Eel (Puhi) and feed it by hand.

That is the true heart of me--ever the Italian, wanting to feed everything!

Then I am okay enough for work. With the gulping of Light/Support intermittently, I can make it through the day.

Here is a love letter from Ross to me.

I write them when I can, because just in case if I lose it I can always find it here...and it gives our readers--you--a sense of the nature of our relationship. History doesn't explain who we are or why we are here and what is happening. It is through tiny revelations that the total picture becomes more clear.

To my Beloved Carla:

 9:50 am

My Jewel,

Everything happens for the best.
Even this gap. (I have a three hour gap between cases, I realize I can get a mammogram or at least schedule one--ed)

I am with you.

I want you to see your mother one last time before I take her to home to Heaven. I want you to make it pleasant, just the two of you, and not with Anthony. Tell her all you need to say. You are the best mom. Let's put all the unpleasant from the past behind us. Always watch down on me from Heaven. I want your blessing mother every single day. 

Your mom is holding out for this.

She wants peace.

The project can wait, my little filly.  I will guide you when. Your mama is not a 'lost cause'. That lady has been very good and kind to you. Forgive her all her foibles. God will make a go of it. Thy mother Nicki will be the first to guide you home to Heaven, even before me. Just like she did in Life.

She is a wonderful guide; I wanted the best. I know she has been hard on you, and you couldn't understand one another. It had to be this way for your thirst for my mother--your mother in law!--to guide you on your path to your Higher Awakening. 

I realize now I am boring you with this line of reasoning. Darling, some things need to be discussed. I am one to say them. I am never one to shirk or shy away from a little 'healthy conflict' or 'challenge' as you would like to say.

Hold on to your blessings.

They will guide you on your path. I want to apologize for having been so 'far' and 'distant' both physically and emotionally as of late. I know it has been a burden to you.

I am always here for you, all you need to do is 'pick up the phone and dial'. It is my understanding in your current relationships (on Earth--ed)  it goes 'both ways' between the two in a couple and I want to apologize for not holding you the way you enjoy being held, as often as you would like to be loved.

I am ever and always front and center in your soul and heart. For this I thank you. Your love for me 'keeps me going' and I HEARD you on your way to work, saying, 'I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU,  I LOVE YOU! Ross I don't know where you are, and I LOVE YOU.'

Thank you for your faith in me my princess,

All my love

Yesterday was hard. I am almost embarrassed to write about it.

First I was stressed by the schedule. I had to go to work for an ACLS review, but there was a conflict for Anthony and his basketball tournament final.

So I did them both.

We enjoyed together a nice Vietnamese breakfast after we got there just in time.

I find time for me runs in spurts, stops and starts, and for example, I clean the rabbit cage (finally!) I look up, and an hour has flown by in what once would have taken twenty minutes, and I have absolutely no sense of the passing of time!

I went to my meeting while Anthony was in the Doctor's Lounge on the computer.

The meeting was at nine thirty, but people were late. I needed to leave at ten. And we didn't get started until nine forty-five...

Fortunately Ryan talked fast, and I was able to get the most of it and go.  We were just in time at the courts for Anthony to warm up.

Anthony had wanted to watch Star Wars the day it came out. I had work and he had a game.
So we bought two tickets on Fandango for the ten thirty p.m. show. The seats were not together, but at least two seats away in the same row at the very top of the theater.

After the game, I caught up!

Online, with all the orders for the bracelets--who is who, who got what, did it arrive?

Next I knew it was four p.m.

I don't know where the time went.

I made lunch for us, many courses. We had leftover guacamole, salsa and tortilla chips from last night's Mexican dinner. I made my favorite soup, I'll call it, 'Italian Pho'--boil a chopped potato till it's soft to a fork. Turn off the heat. Then add two or three handfuls of arugula. Add one cup of cut up old French bread at the end once the arugula wilts. Ladle into a bowl, and top with generous olive oil and freshly ground pepper.  He didn't mind the soup!  After this he had a left over baked potato, and I had a left over slice of homemade pizza. We were full for a long time.

Here's the embarrassing part.

I paid my bills--it takes forever--and I realized Anthem had auto-deducted for January 2018 from my bank account on December 8, even though I was paid through January 1 on November 8! They took my money! Six hundred seventy three dollars and fifty cents! I messaged my bank that this was fraudulent and in error. I messaged Anthem and told them I told my bank and it needs to be corrected at once! I printed out everything.

This was the good part.

The embarrassing part was I lost two checks donors had sent. One was a money order for thirty dollars, and one was a personal check for ninety. That's one hundred twenty dollars--vanished in my house.

Anthony and I turned the house upside down looking for them!

He said, 'mom, I've never looked for anything harder'.

I berated myself.

I was so cruel to myself for losing the checks. (I had found a class action lawsuit settlement check in today's mail, for twenty seven dollars and fifty cents--that's why I was looking for them--to deposit all three).  I knew I had put them in a 'safe and clever place' and I ALWAYS forget where those places are.

I said I was stupid. That my brain didn't work. That I'm a hoarder, and I'm so embarrassed about all the piles of paper everywhere.

Anthony was sweet, he said, 'mom, you're not a hoarder, our house is okay. People don't come over that much anyway.'

I cried out, 'That's because I don't invite them I am too embarrassed to let them in!'

The funny part is, I asked Ross and also a pendulum 'where the check was'? They said it was on the kitchen table.

I looked everywhere and still couldn't find it.

But you know what?

Both my tables, the dining room one, and the kitchen one, are cleaner than ever.

I threw out two waste bins full of unneeded papers.

I found a pile of billing slips I need to mail to my billing company. That's worth lots more than one hundred twenty dollars.

I found an envelope from Alliene I've been meaning to use to remind me to send her a bracelet since she sent it so kindly months and months ago.

I also have the papers organized into 'paid bills' pile, 'insurance stuff' pile, Anthem stole my money pile, random pile, and 'disability insurance company needs to be checked out' pile.

I even found a five hour CME certificate to enter into my ABA portal (the American Board of Anesthesiologists).

Once I got through, all that anger was a plus.

I will admit when Anthony flopped on the couch, it made a pile of papers next to my computer fall on the floor. That's when I really lost it. I told him I'm not  mad at him, I'm just mad, and threw the rest of the pile on the floor, one layer at a time, HARD! I told him I can't handle it. All I want is to do one thing, from start to finish, and not be just carry one thought out. I confessed how I love routines, I would adore waking up at the same time every day, eating meals at the same time, knowing when I come home at the same time, and taking exercise classes on a schedule.

This is the best for me.

He said, 'mom? Then life wouldn't be interesting!'

I said, 'honey, I AM BORING and for me, interesting is not a plus!'

We laughed.

Soon it was time for the movie. He had made us a snack while I was cleaning my piles and ranting. Ritz crackers, string cheese and a little pepperoni or salami on top. We both went for the pepperoni, as the last bit of salami was terrible. We laughed and threw out the salami and ate only crackers and cheese once the pepperoni was gone.

Because we bought our tickets that day, the manager at the theater was able to give us our rewards points that I didn't know how to give while I was on Fandango's app.

The movie was better than I expected. The best line was Leia telling Luke, 'I changed my hair' and he said, 'it looks very nice on you'. Anthony was delighted with the movie. Two years ago he didn't even know who Luke and Leia were! Now he's a huge fan of the franchise.

It was one thirty a.m. when we left the movies.

We both slept in, and it was good.

How do I feel today?

Much better.

Sometimes it takes meeting our frustration and anger at ourselves HEAD ON.  Just like a windstorm.

The sky is always so much more beautiful after the rain or the wind.

It's clear.


Everything happens for the best.

I say this to my beloved Carla, and I also say this to you.

I always say this to everybody!

It's who I am.

For those of you who are curious, Sang, in his Higher Consciousness, had a lot of apologies to make to me, for his 'misunderstanding' of who I am, that I am REAL, and my role in the entire 'process'.

(holds one finger up--ed) Did I demand or even invite this 'apology'?

(he puts his heart to his chest--ed)  Absolutely not! My ego is 'in check' unlike in the case of those of you who are incarnate.

(waves his hand kind of wishy-washy gesture--ed)  What you saw with Sang is the Lower 'Higher Self' coming to 'terms' with 'the facts' as they are in the Higher Realms and are Universal.

There is a form of 'self correction' which takes place by the soul as it awakens/truly wakes up.

(holds one finger up--ed)  I'll never forget the first time Carla showed herself to another who was incarnate, and going to die. It was her husband's friend, Jeff Sage, who died of AIDS in 1992. Jeff had caught it from the producer of the movie Batman. Jeff is a songwriter, he wanted his song to be included in the score, and the producer let him know in no uncertain terms that without the anal sex--with Jeff being the 'receptive partner'--there would be no music of his in the film. As it turned out, the music ended up on the cutting room floor...Back in her apartment in San Diego, during her first days in medical school, when Jeff's condition was worsening and it looked final, Carla, had lain down on her living room floor, and concentrated on Jeff with all her might in order to comfort him as he was going to transition, much in the same way Carla 'spoke' with the soul of Sang Nguyen.

(holds one finger up, again--ed)  Do you know that from that one experience, across the miles, Jeff wrote in a letter which his wife later shared with Carla, 'I feel very calm and ready now...and you know...I am not sure but I think perhaps God is a woman!'

(he raises his eyebrows and nods his head--ed)  I am not sure if God is a woman!

Imagine that!

What about the incredible concept of me being a 'Father Earth'? That although Gaia is a feminine planet, that there is a 'balance' of the masculine and feminine here on earth too?

Just like with those of you who walk the planet?

When they say, 'As above, so below' I say, 'As below, so ABOVE!'

Whatever you have there--that is positive!--exists up here, and then some!

(he is slowing nodding and smiling again and again--ed) Now, put THAT in your pipe and smoke it!

clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,

Ross and Carla
The pair of Twins