HAMBACH, GERMANY - DEC 14, 2015: Bucket-wheel excavator number 289 from RWERheinbraun standing idle in the morning mist in the open pit mine Tagebau Hambach.
I can feel the rumbling of the energy of the masses waking up. It's a very low sound, and it sounds more like it is beneath the surface of the earth than in they sky. Energy is moving like spiritual magma.
I have no idea when it will come to the surface, or what it is do when it sets itself free.
It's like the subconscious of the collective consciousness has just started to move around in bed as the sun is coming up, and in a short time will rub their eyes and face the day.
Novosibirsk Museum of railway equipment in Novosibirsk, Siberia, Russia - July 7, 2017: the Locomotive shunter TE2 No. 289. Built in 1953 in Kharkiv locomotive factory of the Ministry of transport and heavy engineering
Spirit is making itself known in ways I can't even predict. The way it turns out makes me almost a little seasick because the situations are moving so quickly.
Example one--I finished a case in room five. I was to go do one in three. But then the anesthesiologist in seven refused to move. The nurses were livid. I mean, charge nurse running up and down the hall screaming LIVID. Surgeon wanted to go do his case. I had Q, Q, J then Q and what the nurses did was have Q go to 7 and J go to 3, so both could operate at the same time.
At the very last second, I was assigned Q in 7 and the anesthesiologist left the room. I reassured her it was me in 3 last, everything was in good working order and stocked.
She breathed a huge sigh of relief.
As I hurried my heart sank when I saw the name of my next patient...it was the one where I had assumed responsibility for a broken tooth and offered to pay.
I prayed for Grace and Ease.
This is a very quiet patient, the kind you can't know what they are thinking.
He didn't refuse me.
But then, as we rolled into the OR, I knew that he would respond well to one med because I had seen the symptoms stop when I gave it for the other procedure.
It stopped, and he exclaimed, 'what was that you gave me Dr. ?'
I had a second dose and after he moved to the OR table I gave him it too.
When he woke up, he said, 'don't leave me doctor (my name), don't leave me doctor (my name)' over and over in his barely awake state.
The taste of forgiveness is worth the pain and expense of a tooth. I haven't had a patient call for me like that since Mr. Fisher in 1994. He was having hypoglycemia, bad, a code had been called, and when I arrived they were squirting cake frosting on his tongue to get his sugar up. He kept calling 'for my doctor!' and was angry the team wasn't answering his request. When I showed up he said, 'WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?!'--a medical student, unlicensed, I was, but in his heart, I was his doctor.
It's an incredible amount of trust when someone calls you like that.
Ford Mustang 289
My anesthesia machine broke in the middle of the day yesterday. Just plain broke. The buttons to control the ventilator just stopped working.
I could run it on the default settings but not even change the rate or tidal volume or ventilation mode.
There was no backup machine.
Eventually the case cancelled.
But not before my having to explain to people exactly what happened, pushing the same buttons over and over, and showing how they didn't work.
People in management and my boss don't like to be told something doesn't work. So an extra hour of my time was spent--unpaid--talking to management in person and technicians on the phone, sending pictures to the tech.
I talked to the patient too.
There was a while where my boss wanted me to stick around until it was fixed and then do the case, like three hours!
And my sister had just called me with changing numbness on her face, and gone to the ER at my hospital.
She's had tests. I ran between cases to give her a hug in the clinic and I gave her my very best pen that looked like Minnie Mouse in silhouette. I had it to cheer up my patients but she needed cheering the most.
Then I found out the surgeon wasn't available, I could go home, and I went straight to the ER to see her and my brother in law and niece.
I stayed for two hours.
I didn't do much.
But Spirit wanted me there. And even though Spirit's ways were a little 'bumpy'--I got to be where I needed to be.
I realize now that my life is a little like where it was in 2009. Things are changing outside of my control. At work.
Spirit is at the helm.
My boss is talking about cancelling all time off for the group because we are short.
We are short because they upset another anesthesiologist by making him do OB after three years of not doing it. He quit.
Another one left.
It's been two weeks without them and we are feeling it.
To the point where my friend if he wanted full time work could join up today--the one who did part time coverage and my boss had been denying him full time work.
I had a heart to heart with Anthony, and explained to him how my job might be in trouble.
(My brother in law, says, perhaps I'm in the driver's seat and can get what I want and call the shots)
We are both open to change.
Anthony had a realization about his true identity as a soul. Spirit told it to him yesterday. It resonates. This coming out when it did, helps me to cope with the uncertainty at work.
Ross plans exquisitely well, and makes no allowances for error when it comes to the small details.
This one is perfect.
I must get ready for work, it's an early day, it's possibly a changing day, and I'm as ready as can be for whatever comes next.
Spirit is in the driver's seat.
Good spirit...as in Creator of All That Is.
I had argued with Creator the other day about why I have to work so hard. Ross sent me up to the office, and Creator said, 'why? because you are the best for it.' I was extremely tired on call, and said, 'at this rate I'm not going to the be best for much longer...'
It seems the more I try to get myself a livable life, the more Medicine sucks me in. For example, yesterday, my time off, I end up in the ER with a family member.
There's something needed from me that I don't understand.
When my friend Renee the RN came to the bedside to assist my sister with something (little clips that wouldn't come out of her hair before a study), I was around the corner. Renee said, 'I love your sister...and that means now that I also love you.' to my sister.
I am needed in ways I can't see or understand.
So I go to work until it's time to work in the hospital there no more.
BTW my bracelet making is getting even better. The creative outlet does wonders for me. Once I take pictures I can share them with you on my website that's being constructed. Once I get the time I will get things like this done.
I know Spirit is the one to decide on all of it, Spirit is at the helm, and I am calm.
Ross is quiet. I have an early start and must start to prepare for my day.
Aloha and Mahalos,
Ross and Carla