14 AUG 2016, the lotus flower with the earth castle (building) background which was built in YUAN dynasty (AD 308-338) in Nanjing county of Fujian province, China
I have been doing lots of quiet healing. What I've noticed is I've had a need for environments which 'everything is okay'--for example, video games where there's no bullets, or guns, but all the characters are happy and we play games and farm things.
It's almost like I've had to have a preschool or toddler mindset to heal from the last emotional layer which was brought up in Berkeley, where I had to come to terms with my broken dreams and history of being abused.
It was real. And most of the time I had been away, I had been terrified, even before Mark--about money, grades, and my future...as well as my safety in the urban area.
Here are three powerful videos which really struck home:
- Psychotherapy with orphans who suffer from maternal deprivation 1951
- Movie 'Big' has many 'code words', including the eyes on the wizard gown
- The problem is systemic and global, and horrific. Please watch.
You can add to this, the work of this healer for physicians, a cardiothoracic surgeon who left the 'comfortably dissatisfied' position kind of like at my work (too many hours, too much call, lack of sleep and family time) to create a better life for himself. I watched his free lecture. And you know what? I don't even have a predictable schedule enough for the next three days to book a free coaching session with him!
I realized my goal is to create an environment where we can heal together, readers, healthcare providers, spiritual seekers...and my job for the next year is to A) be a healing presence everywhere I am and B) scale back on my expenses so I'm not as dependent on the paycheck to paycheck.
It will be through little victories I get there.
And through hard work.
Why I'm doing this is because there is no other way. There really isn't.
I've been very sad because Ross has been quiet. Usually Spirit's guidance is very clear and direct. So I figure I've been going through a lesson. And I'm so tired of my lessons. I really, really am.
There was a big lesson last night. These lessons come to me between sleep and wake, when Anthony is away.
I couldn't get this one person out of my mind. It was from my immediate past life. I can see now that he was my trainer.
It was back in the days where the techniques like Bob used on Kerth were used on me. Lots of patience, lots of rewards, and taking it at my own pace so I would do things that no child should ever be asked to do.
This was when Ross asked me what I have to say to him--that trainer?
I said thank you for letting me live. Thank you for sparing me the trauma. I said, 'I don't want anything to do with you ever again!'
Then I said the magic words...I didn't know they were magic at the time. I felt something building up in me, and I said, and I meant it, 'I forgive you'.
Then he crumpled and folded and shrunk to just a little talking flat dot that Ross picked up with a pair of tweezers and put into a plastic sealed bag 'for the lab'.
I realized I've been fighting the SRA and pedo--vorrrrs and in fighting them (under the guise of 'raising awareness') what you resist persists.
So as I forgave...other SRA figures and the energies behind them--making clear I never want to do anything with them again...entire structures of control fell apart before my very eyes like collapsing scaffolding!
I guess this is the weakness in their system. And as a survivor of it, I had the key to collapse it upon itself.
That's why I wrote this post. To remember it. And to encourage you to take the higher road, keep your vibration UP, and when you are troubled by the darkness (it troubles me greatly)--separate yourself from it forever with forgiveness.
And watch carefully, making sure to prevent it from ever happening to anyone anywhere around you on your watch again.
I had wanted to ask people on my social media, 'if you look at everyone in the limelight--celebrity, sports, announcer, host, music...and if you knew they had to eat a cricket or butterfly to prove that they wanted to be famous more than anything else they ever wanted...would you still watch them and respect them?'
I'm glad I didn't.
Because what they are forced to do is so much worse. I know I can't really look at them the same way again.
I invite change!
Saul mentioned that the NDE people have good ideas to see what we have to look forward to.
I also recall in my healing session with Ross, that holes were being torn in the veil, and that bright whiter than white light was shining through everywhere down here. I kept seeing him rip bigger and bigger holes. For this I was glad.
He asked me what the worst part about being incarnate is?
I told him it's that I can't come and go. That forgetfulness and that feeling of not being able to be myself is pervasive. I miss home.
He took careful note of that.
Carla and I are working through the planning steps of what comes next.
She will have unlimited time with me (and she was smart to ask if this was the 'real' me or one of the copies I am able to make--it's a little of both).
We have mutually agreed upon a location where we will spend time together, for her safety and healing, and reconnection to my heart--in a physical sense, more than a spiritual one.
These are the kinds of things we are talking about.
I know the times, more or less, and Carla does not. But I am getting her thinking about it.
Each of you will be appointed a Divine Guardian and protector who will help you in your recovery, and couples it will be your choice how to heal in the ways which are mutually acceptable to you two.
Carla made sure she will have access to Anthony, and that he will be okay before she agreed to the plan.
The same goes for your children and your pets as well.
Keep looking up.
Keep rolling with your lessons, no matter how tired you are of learning them.
Everything will clear.
Everything is forever.
One of these days everyone will know.
It will be as clear as the nose on your face. And I have a big one! That's why I have my beard to sort of balance things out...lol <3
Aloha and Mahalos,
Ross and Carla
The Founders of Doctors With Reiki
P.S. the baby hawks are squeaking now...