Wednesday, December 28, 2016

Recent Developments

At work the anxious RN let her daughter wear her bracelet, and her daughter lost it. It's in her daughter's room but they have to clean the room to find it.   Now the anxious one is starting to lose her calm and composure, and she asked me yesterday, 'will you please make me another bracelet, I need it!'

I said, 'it makes everything better, doesn't it, the bracelet?'

She said, astonished, 'yes! from the moment I put it on it, it....'

I cut in, 'just made everything okay?'

'YES! Exactly!' she exclaimed.

I told her that's why I go through about one a week, my energy is changing that rapidly. And I asked her to try on my verdite one. I was looking for the energy match. She thought it was beautiful, but she wasn't ready yet for her kundalini to open up. I told her I am working on it to open it, but she needs a few steps in between.

She emphasized, 'I will PAY YOU' for the next bracelet.

I made her an emergency one last night before bed. While making it I realized a large portion of her anxiety stems from her being an empath and not knowing it. She picks up everything and that makes her stress.

She can't go back to the old bracelet, although it is her request and when I can find the pattern I will recreate it for her. But as her energy medicine, she is ready for the new one.

The Loving Embrace Of Gaia Shield has been installed on a handful of people. It was a joy to create each one. If you have an interest please direct message me on FB or email me at

My shield had the acid test yesterday. Mom was sick. Anthony was worried. She was watching him while I was at work. I contacted my sisters, because when she's sick she gets worse in a hurry. I asked for Reiki from our team of healers, by making a formal Reiki Request.  I stayed calm, and was able to get Anthony to get mom to start taking her inhaler. A sister called her at noon and said she 'didn't cough once' through the call.  I came home with a heavy heart, ready but sad to have to spend hours and hours in an emergency room even more miles away from my home because that's where mom's doctors are. I asked Raphael and Ross to be with me as I stepped out of the car.

Mom surprised me. She looked better than I thought. And her lungs were clear, there were no signs of pneumonia.

Then out came her crap.

Out came all of her emotional imbalance that had lead up to this.

How she gets all worked up over Christmas because in Italy they didn't give gifts. How as a young newlywed she had to buy gifts for everyone in dad's family (over forty people), then after four years, only for the kids (I have eleven cousins), and then, after that, for HER kids (I always felt inadequate for not being able to buy you something nice).

As an aside, I had picked up her hatred of Christmas by osmosis as an innocent child. She would go into debt and she and dad would have to pay the bills until May to get caught up. They never were able to save in advance. I recall her getting up early to cook--and she wasn't the best cook--and crying all morning from five a.m. until we woke up over her hating the work that was expected of her.

She never asked for help, not once.

She could have. We would have been happy to help. And we did offer. But she'd say, 'get out of my kitchen'.

There you have it. Almost sixty years of toilet water that's been sloshing around in her head, beating herself for 'not being able to buy you gifts like a new car' at Christmas.

It was the unmet EXPECTATION that was making her sick!!!

The albuterol helped her lungs calm down.

But then came the next wave of her anguish:  how come I am treated when I get sick like I did something WRONG?!

She said it like a four year old. That is where she is at emotionally, deep inside, probably where most of us are.  I see it a lot in my work. I saw it in a grown man yesterday. The fear.

I was calm.

I said, 'Mom, since Day One with your kidney transplant, you have needed to go to the ER for anything that comes up, even a sniffle, because this is what is normal for transplant patients who are immunosuppressed.  You still don't get it. You haven't gotten it since Day One. Illness in those who are immunosuppressed can travel faster than normal, and be very dangerous. That is why we want you to go check it out.' and 'Your track record, as you have said in your own words, 'I gave myself enough rope to hang myself'--of decision-making when you are sick has not been the best...there might be something we can fix with antibiotic pills if we catch it early, but you wait and next thing you know you are in the hospital with three days of i.v. antibiotics.'

She agreed.

Then she said, 'Why is everyone always wanting to help me and take me to the doctor? I feel WEAKNESS, like I am not good enough when people do that.'

I turned it around.

In my loudest voice (she has significant hearing damage--and 'isn't ready yet' for a hearing aid--she's had the audiology tests two years ago which showed much loss), I said, 'You are the most popular person I know. People who like popular people want to help as a sign of respect. This 'problem' of people checking up on you and caring is the 'curse' that goes along with being popular'.

And she laughed.

She had never looked at it that way, and as a person, mom is very into understanding 'being cursed'.

I told her it's going to be quick when she goes. Whatever infection she has is going to move fast and we won't be in time. But this time, I think it's her asthma exacerbation, and not pneumonia.

We spoke with her advice nurse on the phone, and first thing in the morning mom is going to call to make a phone appointment or a regular one. We both agreed Urgent Care wasn't going to help her more than that, and would probably take as long to be seen anyways.

Anthony and I waited an extra two hours just in case her doctor would call in a prescription and we would drive her to her twenty-four hour pharmacy.

They never called.

My boy and I were extremely drained when we came home. Dealing with the elderly, particularly my mother, can be more challenging than my work, which in itself is a challenge. Mom says she can see my work is 'getting to me' and asked me how it makes me feel. I said I feel like I am asked to cheat death for my patients more and more, almost every case, and they have no clue just how close to dying I am taking them by agreeing to give them anesthesia (with all of their multiple medical conditions)--they have no clue and expect me to just do it like that (snapping my fingers) every single day.

I guess it's almost like that with mom too. She's terrified of the doctors as far as being sick and needing the hospital, yet, it's our forcing her to go when she's toxic and septic is thankfully what had been keeping her alive.

Even now as I write this, my blue shield is working beautifully.

I was exposed to mom's battery acid of self-hate, self-contempt, the real nitty gritty behind her illness:  her expectation of America being the Land Of Plenty as an immigrant and her being Upper Middle Class because of dad's college education not being met, and her COMPARISON of herself to others in our neighborhood.

I provided healing, by sharing from the heart, 'Mom, I never would have known we were poor if you hadn't said it. I thought all of our Christmases were just fine.'

I was never so glad to celebrate Hanukkah as I did with Anthony last night. He got yet another pair of Star Wars Socks, but instead of an ornament for the tree (I got a menorah, and the next night a scrub top one. We skipped day one due to his being away).  It felt warm with the candles, and real. And Ross was present, I knew.

My shield didn't break in direct exposure to my mother,  my biggest weakness from being a child in her care--and her toxic emotions--because the shield is good. It was like a windshield of a car, I could watch the interaction, and act from a place of healing, and NONE NONE NONE of her toxic energy came 'in'. 

I still love her, deeply.

She is a troubled woman, and is having a hard time healing her wounds--most people acknowledge them, release it and move on. She holds on tight. 

She is trapped in a torture of proving she 'isn't a burden'.  She won't accept a gift, she always pays you back for it--so I lie and say things cost five dollars because she doesn't know. 

She won't let love IN. She won't accept the good side of Christmas because of her expectations which were from before I was born, and haven't been met. She won't understand how rich she is to have been given her family--until she crosses over.  

It is our hope, both of us, me and Ross, that YOU will be able to lift the fog of what is holding YOU back, by learning from my mom and her expectations, and how it connects to her stress and her not being able to breathe--to her being in the hospital every December, since 1999--because of what's going on in her mind-body connection.

And THANK YOU for the Reiki. I didn't have to spend the night with Anthony in the ER.

They Heard Me

 I don't know who these people are. I've never read of them. I don't like that one's name is 'Carla' like me.

I don't like how they 'went someplace' and 'all saw something together' since in our teaching, Ross' and mine--we don't go for the 'super-duper-natural WOW factor' even though we work with it--and we always taught, 'go within, go within, go within and see with your eyes that SEE'...we want you not to read about these experiences but to go on and have such experiences in a loving positive way YOURSELF!

But for all you have it, while I was creating and discovering the Loving Embrace of Gaia, which is crystalline blue--these people saw and reported this on the same day:

I discovered mine early in the morning, on my first case, probably around eight thirty PST.

Last night I was talking to Adama as I fell asleep.  He gave me a gift of Agarthan Reiki in I think January 2013. I have taught many students, who are doing their Agarthan Reiki daily.

He is good.

Then there's Kryon, in Las Vegas of all places, saying, 'nothing is decided yet'. I'm sorry, read John Smallman, and you will know EVERYTHING has been decided a long time ago, by US, our Higher Selves and Creator. It's just not sure WHEN it will come down. And Ross has told us when it does it will be a Double Wow for both his teams and us.

Then there's this:

Whatever! LOL.  Enough of the intrigue. It's time for work. I take Anthony to his father today. There's no school. I hope he gets his homework done. He's been putting it off and I'd hate for it to dampen our New Year's weekend.

By the way, Gaia's color is blue. Light blue. That light comes FROM Her.

If you ever see it.

Aloha and Mahalos,

Ross and Carla

(he's always by my side while I write, and helps me decide what to write first. Not the words, but the topics, in what order. I have to rush so he's taking a break. Smiling that gorgeous smile and waving such a welcoming wave to you.)