Our countdown is 158.
I had to choose this image just to match yesterday's.
I love it.
I didn't feel like this yesterday.
Actually I felt more like this:
I was home from work. After taking Anthony to school in one car, I came home, called the dealership and brought in the other car--the one I usually take to work. There had been trouble with the hatch. And the key to make the hatch open.
Fortunately the service guy showed me there were really two problems, an old key ('really dig in there') with a worn out button, and also a hatch opening motor that was overheating. He showed me the trick to help it to close if I was having trouble. So they never actually took my car.
I came home and I was overwhelmed. I didn't know where to start! It's days like this where I really ask Ross for guidance and direction.
I took a nap first. I am horribly sleep deprived.
Then he asked me to clear two laundry baskets and a box that was on the bottom of a pile.
I did. I felt good to get it done quickly.
Then I cleared out a whole double file cabinet, getting rid of tons of junk, old junk I will never need. I couldn't believe it, I could see floor space I haven't seen in YEARS. I was very happy.
There's been an order I wasn't sure got delivered from my favorite coffee store. A neighbor has told me my next-door neighbors are stealing things off people's porches, and also have sent their daughter to case my house. I've taken photos inside their house before they moved in, it was to complain that the owners had remodeled it from a single family home into a duplex. In researching it, I learned that the house they are renting is actually for sale. It's been on the market and listed twice since last fall. My friend and neighbor told me who to send photos to for complaining about the family. They and the owners of the house who lived there before they started renting two and one half years ago--have taken over the visitor spot. The trash cans are always outside (it's one hundred dollar fine a week my friend says). And they also park horizontally in front of the garage door, which is against the rules too. They used to park in my spot all the time too but thankfully stopped. It's funny because that home was for sale two and one half years ago and nobody wanted to buy it.
Well to log into the coffee website, I needed to change my password, and then I couldn't log into my email because that too I had recently changed my password and forgot it. After chatting with the internet provider, I logged in.
I hate email. Really, I do.
I had over five thousand unread emails from about two month's of not checking it.
So I started erasing them.
I hated it more. All these people who if I ever do business with them they feel they have a right to harass me with weekly specials until I die! I realized, over the five hours I spent erasing things, that boundaries are a good thing. I unsubscribed from many things. And I realize it's okay to value my time and cut things out.
The GOOD thing is that now I'm caught up, and I found the original order that never arrived from the Coffee Company. I found a form I need to have patients sign, a waiver, to cover for my fee if Anthem doesn't think my services are needed. I also was able to find a copy of my malpractice proof of insurance certificate and send it to more people who were harassing me to show it to them from my billing company.
Even sometimes pain can be a good thing.
I hurt yesterday. My sister is baptizing her daughter, and I'm Sicilian. My other sister is Anthony's godmother. It's a big deal to us. My mom is my other sister's godmother to both her kids. I'd hoped it was my turn.
Nope.
Not in the wedding (if being asked to share a reading three ways with the two other sisters at the last minute counts? I was post-call and didn't have my reading glasses, but I stumbled through). I did go to the hospital the day the baby was born. I've visited twice. Once to hand-deliver a bracelet I made on the spot out of items she chose for her birthday--my sister's.
It really stung, hurt me to my core. I NEVER get picked when it comes to things of this world. Not a flower girl. Not a bridesmaid (except for my Sicilian sister, the other one, who thankfully asked both her sisters as is Italian tradition. I happened to be living in San Diego and going to medical school, and going through a painful divorce. It wasn't easy, but I did it and was glad I did.). Nothing.
But I caught myself.
I told myself 'she has her reasons'. I had asked mom just to be sure. Mom had said it was some friend of hers who didn't have kids or a husband and was 'crazy about the baby'. The godfather isn't her husband it's the father's cousin. I calmed myself down. Maybe she wants someone who is young enough to raise the child if something happened to the couple? Maybe she thinks being an Auntie is enough? Maybe she didn't want to choose between her two sisters?
I don't know.
That kind of 'honor' isn't what I was sent to earth for in the first place. My vibration makes me a little isolated and lonely, for sure, when it comes to these social things, but it's okay...and that made it a good day too. To get over it without holding a grudge--after the painful surprise--that very same day.
To each his own, right? And this one is totally funny. Make sure you get to see the rooster on a stick lollipop at the end. It's hilarious.
This morning I cleared out an old suitcase that had extra china in it. It's never been in a closet, it's been under the desk where I write.
I put the dishes into the empty filing cabinet! And I did one extra box from the pile.
I'm going to put away the Christmas dishes. And Ross says for this year every month to change the china/dishes. I love the variety! I'm starting with my fine china from my wedding in 1988. I love it. It's Albany by Royal Doulton, with little scallop shells painted on the edges. It will be hand wash for a month but I don't care.
I adore cooking.
I'm starting to realize it's okay to be open to 'something new'--when I drove around to the school and back and to the car dealership...I picked up on the energy. To be honest I've never really chosen anything in my life. When guys liked me I liked them back. It wasn't so often that they liked me that I had to make priorities and decisions. It was take it or leave it!
With places to live, we moved when I was fourteen, as a family, and it wasn't the end of the world. It was kind of nice to have a change. Then there was college, marriage, medical school, residency, marriage again, fellowship, and divorce. After the divorce motherhood arrived and I got to stay put for a good long time. I keep telling myself 'this or something better'.
It was funny, there's lots of wildlife here. And last night for the first time since 2003, I heard an owl outside the window. A lot!
Even though I was angry and upset at having to do the mind-numbing boredom of being chained to a computer and deleting email--I heard the owl--and even though I would rather make bracelets--new projects such as going through my tax documents for 2018 are going to be a whole lot easier now that I cleaned things up in my inbox.
While I was cleaning, Ross had me listen/watch this episode of the Twilight Zone: To Serve Man.
Oh my gosh! It was about tall aliens who lie and want to eat humans! Yup. Truth hidden in plain sight. Way back then! As 'entertainment'!
Then I watched another: Twenty Four minute expose by an ex-insider with DJ Maillion. This one rang true. His story was very plausible, and I was happy to hear it. If you want to know what the all see-ing eye is, he lets it slip. I was like, hmmmmm! The details, like, they first meet your wife when you are being initiated, because you aren't going to be around...it makes sense. How he got out, he was honest, he said humbly, 'it was the grace of God that I got out' and he wants to warn people.
I still had lots of cleaning to do. So I listened to this one on Sheila Zilensky's channel: William Schnoebelen. There were lots of facts. But at the end his prayer creeped me out. Read through the comments. Oh my gosh they are fascinating to see! It's like the total spectrum of Consciousness right there without people realizing they are putting it on display. Sheila was a very popular video on exposing the deception at Dizknee. The reader who hit the nail on the head was like, 'don't people who share the secrets die?'
He wasn't. Neither was Roseanne. Or Jim Carrey. Or Alex Jones. With Roseanne I've seen proof she's like a sixteen level mason. She spoke out against MK Ultra but later got her own T.V. show. Jim said, 'they eat babies' to the press, in exposing the hidden societies--but he actually was the head of it out here and gave the decision to John Travolta your wife or your son to sacrifice. I've seen pictures of Alex rubbing elbows with the elite back in the day. These people are called 'shills' because they have sold out and no longer expose the real Truth.
Could this William S. be controlled opposition? I saw his creepy beard on the 'next to follow' video. He LOOKED like a wizard! And the highest level satanists/luciferians love to get people off track. One in Kerth's book had his house staff thinking that HE was a god! They worshipped him!
I took out my pendulum, and asked Ross. All he could say is that William wasn't on our team.
I've slept on it, and I sense that the prayers to 'fight' the holidays on the Luciferian calendar actually create the opposite, a 'what you resist persists' energy field. I think the burning fingernail to his third eye in the meditation he described was real. He had to have mind control on him by the time he got to those high levels, maybe he had it before he ever joined up to become a priest? I don't know. I'd take him with a grain of salt, and always remember that some people are 'preaching the sermon' when they are under the guise of 'exposing the truth'. This is controlled opposition. Feel what is in your heart when you listen. Is it love and joy, nurturing, warmth, love and compassion with evidence of respect? Or even humor?
Here is an example of another you tube video that just gave me the giggles--the voice, the repetition, the way to say 'wake up people'--the subject isn't quite as important as the person's delivery...
I normally don't talk transgender. But I did find this one helpful at pointing out how easy it is to fool others...even with my medical eye, I was surprised at all these real cases shown:
Again, all of this is just for your being able to know what I've been learning and studying, in case you're interested in the material.
In summary:
- When you get a painful situation, connect to The Divine Creator of All That Is, and his angels, and make your way through your lesson. I've come to the conclusion that our stories of our life experiences are way more valuable than the experiences themselves--so carry on. One day you might be able to share it at the table with friends and laugh. Hang in there.
- Sometimes bad things make you appreciate good things. When I clear out clutter I enjoy the energy and the serenity. It's not fun to clear it. But it's good. Here is a quote from Michael Nulty-Author: Holding on to stuff that no longer holds true value to you only weights you down in body, mind and spirit, so for the sake of your mental and physical health it's a good idea to purse all the negativity and waste from your life.
- Practice Discernment. Here's a quote on that from Mindfulness Wellness: Be careful when you trust, salt and sugar look the same.
- Here is one last lovely quote to help you practice self-love. It's from J Stanfield: I cannot do all the good that the world needs. But the world needs all the good that I can do.
- Remember boundaries are important. Today is my day off. There is a surgery department meeting. It's mandatory. I always go. And my nurse director of the O.R. is wanting more attendance. I emailed her and told her I live a long distance, there's a long work shift ahead, and I'd like to skip the commute on my day off. I'm sorry, but I won't be attending. Regrets. Now to go down to shred all the things I need to put into the shredder! LOL
Ross is happy and calm. He makes a finger gesture like the old 'walking through the Yellow Pages' ad. Somehow we will all get through this together. I sense that energy coming from him. He says when you put that foot forward, be sure to test your weight on it a little before you put all your weight on that leg so you keep a strong footing. It's like when you hike. That's the best way to get through the next few days, weeks, etc. xoxoxox
clap! clap!
Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,
Ross and Carla
The Couple
