Today's countdown is one hundred thirty nine.
We progress.
I'm going to discuss three parts today, and our opinion to share with you on each one.
First part: Sunday Call
It was brutal. And it took a lot out of me. To cut to the chase, Jared wanted Anthony. Jared lives the opposite direction from my work and far from the freeway. So picking up Anthony pre-call adds an extra hour to my day at the front end. I'm fifteen minutes late, but we have ample time to enjoy Vietnamese breakfast together which is our custom on such days.
The first case is elective, and takes many hours. Anthony patiently waits in the doctor's lounge. At my first break (case delays the following lineup two hours)--I run and take Anthony to his destination nearby. I come to the next case without lunch, and without bathroom break. The first patient needed intervention in the recovery room, which I provided, and the ICU attending was there. I am told by the surgeon to 'not give so much pain medicine next time so patient will wake up'. It was a very big, long complex open surgery, and patient has obstructive breathing undiagnosed as baseline. But, it's my fault.
Second surgeon rants and raves about why backup team is not called in. Well, number one, first case was elective, second one is urgent but not emergent because patient was here the day before. Surgeon wanted to spend night 'backyard camping' with young son instead of operating.
My backup told me yesterday they have their daughter's birthday party in the afternoon and are not available. The time is two p.m. I am a wall to the second surgeon's request for backup to be called in.
Third surgeon sees what is coming, as second surgeon is slow and is fixing two totally separate bones requiring two separate set ups and even two separate operating room tables where we have to switch the patient from one to the other intra-op. Third surgeon delays until following day.
Fourth surgeon is bumped from six p.m. start to seven, but at seven, a hemorrhage bumps surgeon four for about one hour. A life is saved. This truly is an emergency and why we are on call in the first place.
Fourth case goes at eight p.m. My dinner is the second half of the egg banh mi baguette sandwich that I ate for lunch when PACU refused to get the next patient and the hall support had to go up and get them for 'direct admit to OR'. Anthony must Uber eat to eat. We are pleased with this solution. What he doesn't know is I called the restaurant to remind them to give extra chipotle sauce with the sweet potato fries. He actually saves half the bag for me, and he only used one container of the sauce.
Fifth case is very complex and due to start at ten p.m. I am exhausted. First surgeon has a full pancreatic resection he is calling an 'exploratory laparotomy'. And ex-lap takes two hours. A pancreatic resection for cancer is no emergency--it's a chronic condition and it's elective--and takes six hours in the best of hands. I've already spoken to my boss and the chief of surgery. He is not to call an 'emergency' and bump other surgeons' lineups in the morning. He is to take the nine-thirty a.m. time slot. He refuses because his surgeon who is also surgeon for case five, isn't available to assist him and he has clinic at his office and patients to see.
He wants a six a.m. start, surgeon one. But this involves calling in the call teams whose shift ends at seven a.m. --from home and before they work a full day (except myself who has worked twenty four instead of twelve and have day off). I said, 'why not four a.m. when you are at it?' He books it for four but nobody hears about it from the charge nurse. It's not on the schedule.
Surgeon Five wants to delay his case to five a.m. to 'follow surgeon one'. My head is spinning. It's in the documents and chart that the 'exploratory laparotomy' of surgeon one isn't that, it's a full pancreases surgery and he's called in his teams from home to start early but we don't know. (he has his own team). So when surgeon Five knows I need a rest, and says to start at five, I figure it's for the case he shares with Surgeon one.
Well, Surgeon Five thinks that Surgeon one is taking the nine-thirty a.m. slot the chief of anesthesia and the chief of surgery mandate for Surgeon one.
Surgeon one shows up at four a.m. to an empty O.R.
I am not far, I come in, but I am embarrassed because Anthony hears him yelling at me on the phone. He hangs up when my alarm goes off on the phone.
I am ready for a big case in twenty minutes, ample time for the patient to come down.
But Surgeon One is in my face, sergeant to infantry recruit style, yelling and spitting about how he is not going to wake up at three in the morning to come in for an empty O.R. with no patient.
I smile.
I am gentle.
I don't react.
I do apologize that when Surgeon Five said five a.m. I was led to believe it was for his case assisting with you, that he was speaking with you, as it was the first work he was to do in the lineup--help you first and then follow with his. That was my mistake, and I'm sorry.
Patient is on the table by five ten a.m. (originally he wanted six).
As it turns out, Surgeon one doesn't finish until one p.m. There is confusion and delay for the other patients and surgeons who have been assigned to that room. Relief comes for me at seven ten a.m., and I get to go have the breakfast with Anthony we both prayed for, a nice one together that was quiet to start our day. I'm exhausted, but don't rest. Anthony needs to go to school and I drive him. Traffic is very backed up. He arrives thirty minutes late.
I was suicidal ideation/feelings yesterday.
The pain of killing myself would be less than the pain of being forced to work twenty-four hours when I was sick, when my mom was in the hospital, with no breaks for food or water or toilet. I actually got very constipated.
This feeling is something I would not act upon. But the Creator Writings has been tracking me. The horrible call where I didn't know why I have to suffer on the 27th. And The Council Too on my Feelings as a data point. When I get feelings to destroy myself to end my suffering, I take note and say, 'this isn't normal or sustainable'. I know in my heart I need to get to a lifestyle where I can have a dog. The hours for that. Anthony's life will depend on it in High School. He's very close to dogs. Big dogs. And I need to slow down with my work. A LOT.
What I didn't realize is that others were watching.
I sensed a 'direct hit' when I turned the other cheek to Surgeon One and offered no conflict. I felt it.
And the Chief of Surgery told me later that eight different people approached her about these elective cases taking all day and night for the call teams. And even five members of my anesthesia group met in the doctors lounge to talk about it.
My suffering was the straw that broke the camel's back and is starting movement towards change!
And I better? A little. Anthony is worse--sore throat. And mom is better but still in the hospital.
Last night, I went to our Association meeting. Oh my gosh there were fireworks and it was like Jerry Springer show. The board members are in disagreement. The board doesn't want to hear the one who says what can be done better. There was almost a cancellation of the meeting due to the disruption.
I thought to myself how things change quickly when I'm not present (it's been a year). And when the follow up item was to announce the landscape committee and thank them for their efforts, the crowd was still stunned.
I clapped.
I'm an old Toastmaster. I know what to do with crowds. And I said, loudly, 'THANK YOU ARCHITECTURE COMMITTEE VOLUNTEERS FOR YOUR SERVICE!'. I clapped loud and hard and long until everyone joined in. And the meeting went on without any negativity.
Love and Gratitude. A smile. These are your weapons. These are your shields.
How did this story make you feel?
It's strong, isn't it?
It's in the first person. It's recent events. It's from my heart.
I'd like you to take a note of that.
Second Part: Someone Is Coming To Save Us
How did this make you feel, aside from the emotional trigger the topic has become to be for many? How did it make you feel to listen to his predictions/interpretations of current events?
How does it compare to my story?
He is compelling, isn't he? Daniel is likable and almost has an apostles energy to him. He's fresh. He's different. And when he puts up his list of what he does, and you know he's already quit his job and 'walking the walk', it's nice, isn't it?
But Daniel isn't talking about his own experiences with those around him.
He's focused on something going on outside, and also, something none of us can control.
I'd like you to take note of that.
Third Part: In Cahoots?
How can the Simpsons know so much? How can the movies?
If you know how the smoke and mirrors work, you would know that today's end times are scripted from two hundred years ago, and generations after generations of secret society people have each carried out their part.
Watch this.
I can't even find the next video, I've looked for twenty minutes and it's really hard to find. I'll describe it to you. It's an old European music video. And Melania is in it as a young woman. Her role? The president's wife! She wears elegant clothes and drives in a motorcade like Jackie Kennedy. I've seen it, and I tell you, it's creepy.
How do these videos make you feel?
If you are on the Daniel track, don't lose heart, it's okay. Stay tuned for the next summary. It will cheer you.
How do these video creators make you feel? They are in fact sharing direct experiences of media 'abnormal coincidences' with you. And it resonates, does it not?
Summary
What if Ascension is so close it could be in your lap or your back pocket or your purse?
What if Ascension and the next step is being able to master your Galactic skills and remember your gifts RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE, RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW, starting TODAY?
What if, all this mumbo jumbo in the media is to distract you from your ability to manifest a better life for yourself, one that is in complete and total alignment with Spirit?
What if, TWDNHOBIAH, KNOW that we are like Dorothy with the red slippers, the ability to go 'Home' at any time--and just don't want us to figure it out?
In summary, Ross and I want you to focus a little more on what is going on around you, and a little less on 'the popcorn'--looking for signs of progress in a bigger level.
As the energy shifts within each of us, it is going to have an effect on those around us, just like in the Operating Room with Carla and Surgeon One, and everyone else.
Nothing can stop it.
And it's contagious.
And those who are in charge--are outnumbered by people who aren't.
When the energy shifts it will be unstoppable.
So do a little more 'inside work', don't ignore the 'popcorn situation outside' but don't let the 'popcorn situation' get in the way of your moving ahead with your own waking up and remembering why you are here and what is normal for you when you are 'Back Home'.
We have been conditioned to put weight on what our five senses tell us, and what is logical like we are taught in school.
Our extra senses, our intuition, basically, and what is unseen actually deserves to be factored in a little more than we give it credit.
Work with both.
Mind and heart working together.
That's why this came out: https://gaiaportal.wordpress.com/2019/01/29/flashes-of-light-cannons-are-viewed-with-gratitude/
Thank you.
This one was an equal part from Ross and me. He's with me. And he's sustaining me as I go through. And helping me to recover. Last night we had Rubio's fish tacos, and I treated to a tiny lemon/coconut square we shared Anthony and me.
Life is sweet.
We want you to always remember this.
Remember your power, Ross says.
He smiles and adds, 'it is out of this world!'
clap! clap!
Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,
Ross and Carla
The Couple
