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Friday, March 29, 2013
Dinner With My Father Who Has Passed
Tonight I had a short break before my last case. I was hungry! I went down to the cafeteria, and for some reason I was guided to sit at a certain table there, in a certain way. I faced away from the room and toward the wall. It was a round table with two chairs. An empty one sat across from me. Normally I run back up to the doctor's lounge to eat at night, just in case they call me.
I was enjoying my asian salad I had thrown together, when across from me I felt the presence of Dad.
This was my first visit with him like this.
Dad: I am going to walk you down the aisle at your wedding.
Dad: When it is time for you, the next time, I want you to know I will be there.
C: (I was flustered. I am single. I am not even dating anyone, although I have someone on my mind. A lot. Yet talking marriage?! That was like, way more than I would expect. And yet he made a special point to be there, at this time, and it takes a lot of energy for him to manifest contact like that...I felt his sincere loving emotion, and I wanted to cry tears of joy! I missed Dad!) What do you think of him, Dad? Do you know who?
Dad: (he sent me a picture-feeling about the whole thing. He approves, but does not promise anything or predict.) You know I was really proud to walk you down the aisle in your first marriage.
C: (he lets me know how hurt he was when I eloped to Vegas for my second marriage. Even though I got married at the same Little White Chapel where he and mom tied the knot.)
D: (I send him thought-picture about how afraid I was after the first divorce that for number two I wanted everything different just for luck. I could sense he understood.) I should have done more for you. I had an angel in my house and I did not even know. You deserved so much more...
C: Dad, I didn't 'deserve' anything. You and mother did a lot for me. And treated me normal...
D: If I had known more, I would have done more to support you on your Mission...
D: Sometimes the biggest opportunities to help you grow are from your parent's mistake.
C: (I knew EXACTLY what he was talking about--and I changed the subject). What else can I do for you, Dad?
I sensed it was time for both of us to go. We said our goodbyes. We are close, just like before.
Then the phone rang. It was PACU. The chinese nurse who used to be a physician back home, who had a thick accent, said, 'The patient blood pressure is three hundred twenty. Do you want me to give anything?' I almost dropped the phone. I have only seen a systolic like that once, and they needed Nicardipine drip and an ICU admit. I'll be right up.
It was the blood SUGAR and not the blood PRESSURE. Eight units of insulin sub q and the patient did just fine.