September 5,
2008
Mr. R.
You are going
to have a father for your baby.
Thank you for
taking care of me the day before I died. I knew I was really sick. For most of
the operation I was watching you, wondering what you were doing, floating above
and wondering why everyone was so focused on the computer while I was dying (the
new computer anesthesia record).
It looked like
you knew what you were doing. I was blessed to have your help on this. I needed
a little more time on Earth, I found it. You don’t know what it was I saw
inside of you: a happiness I never thought could happen. It is shining, mi'ija.
Let it out. Let this joy from the sky encompass everything that you do. Just
like Mother Teresa. That is how you will ‘land your husband.’ By not trying and
being yourself.
D is a good
man, but very unhappy. When you talk to him, be careful to understand his face,
his thoughts, and his body language. Then you will understand the calling of
the night: men are simple. When they are interested in you they want nothing
more. No motives, no stress. Let it happen. Not by ‘being yourself’ but by
‘being what God has given’. You are more than an individual. You have a purpose
and a place just like Mother Teresa. Let
God have use of it.
You were just
lovely in your teaching yesterday, just perfect. D sorely missed it, calling on
your lesson. I saw him when he worked on me—trying very much in earnest to gain
the approval of his father the cardiac anesthesiologist. That’s why your
evaluation of him from you meant so much to him.
What God has
given, there is not anything that could be taken away.
I saw my life
was at its ending. I had a good time with it. I was ready. I will cross with
roses for you from the other side from time to time. Thou art beautiful. I want
you to remember this. Thank you for helping me. A.R. died 9-4-08
(ed - D was a coworker that had an attraction to me at the time. He was my graduate student. I was feeling 'something' back but I was not sure how to conduct myself, and Mr. R 'picked up on it' with 'guidance' for me. Things did not go well with D. However, last October, by some twist of fate, we ended up on the same flight to Kona from Honolulu. By an even stranger twist of fate, he was there with his new fiancee. Although it hurt to see him across the gate with his woman, I avoided him. However, on this flight it was the first time I flew first class. They had to walk by me on the aisle to get their seats. D was cordial, and made the introductions. Throughout the conference, I could see them together, and I could 'see for the first time' the truth Mr. R was trying to get through to me four years and one month earlier. D WAS unhappy. And he sat next to his father at every lecture, seeking approval. And when D came up to me on the beach to say hello, he had a drink in his hand and smelled strongly of ETOH. That is not the kind of man I would be interested in, not then, not now. And I understood at last my heart breaking at that time that Mr. R chose to contact me, was for my safety and my health of my heart for today. Spirit works like this. It is important to trust and count on your angels when it comes to matters of the heart. They see a higher perspective! I have been happy, and complete since 2008, just being what I 'signed up to do' for the Light. Anything more is just frosting on the cake. : ) )
