November 6, 2009
This is Dolores. D.R. You found me on the floor being CPR’d. I was happy that you intubated me. It helped. For a very little bit. (ed—I was on my knees intubating her ‘paramedic’ style…it was not easy)
I wanted to die. My life was nothing. It was my exit point. I had been so sick and so fat for so long. (ed—5’ 4” and 371 #, multiple comorbities, found down on the floor next to her bed). Everything happens for the best.
That is why I wanted to talk to you. I saw you looking around for me when I was outside my body. I wanted you to work, to get your best.
Everything happens with a blessing. Even my death. My son Albert wanted to talk to you. He knew you knew how I was. He saw it in your face that you knew and you were trying to make it the best for him.
My life, on review, was difficult. I made a good showing on it not like your life—you are a star on it honey, let me tell you! A lot of light! : ) ) Anyhow, I was not wanted and was abused so much. My first husband the father of my children left me for ‘another man another life’ he wanted for him to be. I was not surprised or saddened. I wanted for him the best. Life was hard for us after though. All his many ‘friends’…
About your life: it is better and happier than it ever has been. Not because of Chris—he is the icing on the cake of life! Your cake just went from chocolate to white that is of heaven. You will not die for a long long time. Thou wilt be happy.
I wanted to talk to you because I saw that you were there for me and looked for me and cared for me—both in the body-spirit sense. I was not sure how to respond. I was surprised that you could look at me so well. I have not shown myself to you. I am thinner and lovely. I am happy in my death. I am at peace.
I want to thank you and encourage you on your path. Your chart has lots of good grades in it, like you did on your report cards on Earth. Your teachers love the way you learn and I talk to them.
It does not show, your scars that caused the PTSD. Only Light. Like the crack in the glass on your Z-4 that got replaced today, there is a quality to it that reflects the light (I am talking smart, aren’t I?)—that’s the term for it. You are not cracked, but you ‘catch the light’ so very specially.
Everything is beautiful. Coming through you. A very miracle of blessing is about to descend. I saw it!
About Chris: trust him, love him, like no other and pray pray pray for him to have a good time, that everything happens for the best (that is a good one for all of you). It makes a difference, for your life and also for the next. Bob Farrell was delighted by your story and your son. Let his Pickle book guide you on your interactions with Chris.
Be one with him and care for him. He is the lover of your life. To not be afraid to smile on him. God will grant a comforting. For two. That was his face you saw a minute back. He makes several appearance to your consciousness a day. As you do to him. All of it unconsciously driven.
There is love enough to last. For all of you.
God will have a miracle for you that is spectacular. Thank you for lighting my path. I admire what you do for us over here. God Bless You. I pray my children may give up their wretchedness. I have no loss but gain. Two eyes of Heaven. God will marry you.
Let it rest. Dolores R.
God is glorious! (shakes her fist) Woot! Woot!
(ed - Chris was the anesthesiologist I met at Conference at New Orleans. October 18, 2009. I ended the relationship because he was not willing to relocate, and also wanted me to do all the travel to see him. A girl has to have her standards. Chris was the one to show me that I deserve what I think is a better deal than what he had to offer. So I let him go! It was 'enough'...Dayenu is a beautiful concept in Hebrew lore...it was enough. <3 But the advice from Dolores? It's right here at my fingertips for when I need it ; ) )