October 9,
2008
1127
I felt a need
to call Sally on Saturday. It turns out from Mom Roy died. The memorial
service will be Saturday 10/18 in Fallbrook.
I just saw a
glimpse of him in Levi’s 501’s and a tee, hair greased back. Looking very
dapper. There’s no moustache. He’s maybe twenty. There is an energy and
vitality to him that is electrifying.
He’s looking
at mea, near, moving his head from side to side as if struggling to
focus/remember me.
R: Carla!
C: Yes.
R: Slow great
big smile across his face, holds his arms wide, “I died!”
C: we hug each
other. I smile and say ‘how about that?’
R: I’m still
here!
C: So am I.
R: you thought
I wouldn’t talk to you, didn’t you? (teases me).
I saw at your cousin’s house when I was talking to you about my surgery that was something
more you wanted to say. Why’d you hold back?
C: Everyone
was there. You would have thought I was crazy. I knew you’d figure it out. But
you felt it. I hoped at the time you would.
R: God will
make it up to you (gives me romantic advice about D)
C: Have you
seen Aunt Edna?
R: No I
haven’t (she appears linking her right arm in his left) they’re both smiling.
Aunt Edna waves to me.
AE: Carla! How
are you? (Hugs me)
C: I miss
you…(I cry here). I’m doing really great. The baby is so good.
AE: I know I
have been watching him. That boy is really something. (Shows me something
knitted in purply heather) It is a knit cap. I made it for you. God wants you
to buy it and wear it at Christmas when you are with your boy and on Christmas
Day. I love you very very much. You are looking beautiful. Keep exercising. God
wants you to lose that weight. Everything will be all right now, honey.
Everything will be all right.
Even if D.
doesn’t tell you it. There’s always me. (taps her heart). I am loving you from
Heaven. I died and I saw how much my love for you had grown (in this lifetime).
Carla we’ve been together a lot. I am lucky to share our relationship of our
life and heart. Even up here it keeps growing, blossoming, like a flower.
I will marry
you. This is what God said. I know it sounds impossible. I want you to know
when you are trying on that dress, the
one for the wedding, I will be there. I will whisper to your heart which one
God has meant for you. I helped make it (it is already chosen). It shall be
more beautiful than that expensive ‘l’esposa di Gio’ dress you have there on that ad. And
throw the ad photo out. Also the list of what you want in a mate. Toss it. Give
it to God as a way of saying thanks for what God has given. Thow it in that
trash outside so it gets taken out. (she tells me what to cook for dinner)
God loves you.
I bless you. As also does Roy and Sally. (they hold hands, fingers weaved, and
wave bye, Roy and Aunt Edna)
We love you,
(she kisses my
head and goes)
