Can you see a flower grow while you are watching it?
The same is true with us.
We grow in spirit at the same rate that flowers touch the sky; we 'get there', albeit imperceptibly.
Today I had a 'meeting' with my boss.
Yes, that's right, I have one, same as you. Anesthesia bosses always catch you in the hallway. And after the topic of importance gets done, they relax and start bringing up 'other things'.
The messages I got were:
- Sign the contract on this line and this line after you look at it tonight (tonight I am sending it to my contract attorney! LOL)
- Position the patient so their legs hang off the bed for an epidural. (I can't reach across the bed, I have short arms, so that's why they sit funny. But I will do it.)
- Here on some tips to make your epidural even more technically 'slick'
- Don't take three weeks vacation in summer, people complain to him. Don't take off work at times when school is out because other people have kids too. (even if I get coverage--he says 'it's not first come-first serve')
- Do any of the women want to work part time? (looks straight at me--I stalled)
- Because this is not residency, academics, or a large corporation, don't complain about not eating lunch. ('I get lunch but don't eat it. I take a few bites here and there. By dinner I am done.' they said. 'Get some nuts and chocolate to keep in your locker.')
I was pleasant.
I was polite.
And for the first time ever, I spoke up!
- I completely understand. I won't do the Christmas break off again. EVER.
- I won't do Spring Break either, too.
- But please look at it from my side--this is FAMILY I have in France, I am going the long trip, and three weeks makes it more doable. My colleagues go to Iran, China and Vietnam for three weeks all the time. This is for my son to learn to speak French. What else am I supposed to do? This was planned in January. I have the tickets. (Just don't do it again--in SUMMER--he says. Ok.)
- I also explained that I have food IN MY LOCKER and I don't even go to the cafeteria. And because I give a detailed report to PACU, unlike the rest of the group, that is where my time for lunch 'goes'. All I ask is for ten minutes to actually eat it. I won't mention it to the team any more--I will just go eat.
If this had been me twenty-five years ago, I would have gone home and cried to my husband, and never said a peep to my boss. I would have been terrified of losing my job.
If this had been twenty years ago, I would have done my best to do everything the boss said, and made sure he knew I was doing it.
If this had been fifteen years ago, I would have complained to a girlfriend about what was said, but never let my boss know I disagreed with him.
If this had been ten years ago, I would have asked a mentor how to make it work for me--with business smarts. I probably wouldn't have had the courage to try it.
If this had been five years ago, I would have gone straight to my mentor (a different one) and done exactly what HE said to do without questioning HIM.
Today I spoke for myself.
The 'flower of assertiveness and self-confidence' is growing with lots of love and support from my Guardian Angel, Laetari, my Ascended Masters, and Spiritual Guides. And from the day to day practice of being a mom. I try to work together and be reasonable, but I also know when to 'call him on the carpet' because sometimes that's just what has to be done, and there is no choice.
Thank you so much God for helping me to grow like that. I am happy with the results!
A lot of people are disappointed with the Spiritual Path. It's not like you can measure inches gained or lost with a tape measure. It's not like a summer blockbuster movie with special effects.
It's like watching the grass grow, or paint dry.
But that is the speed it takes for a soul to learn life lessons. That's why it takes possibly many lifetimes to learn, right?
Keeping a journal is an excellent way to watch the effect of spiritual guidance.
It's there, with you, always.
And besides, being a Reiki Master helps too. I have grown so much as a person since I first took Reiki!
In Love, Light, and Happiness,