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Tuesday, June 25, 2013
For All The Single Moms Out There
It finally happened and I have gotten sick of it!
I looked at the billing page with the socioeconomic information I send to my billing company. My eye caught the part where it said 'marital status' and I saw the word:
I got this warm fuzzy glow.
For heaven's sakes, WHY?
Why is it that I get a warm fuzzy glow when the patient is married, less of it where I see 'boyfriend' and cringe when I see 'single'?
Isn't a baby a miracle in itself?
Isn't that enough?
I have seen just as many couples who are married and 'can't afford it' as the unwed single moms. Trust me, I know. I see the monthly billing summaries from my billing company!
Where on earth is it such a big deal if people are married or not?
In patriarchal societies.
In places where women wear burkas.
In places where female circumcision is practiced.
In places where women don't even have a birth certificate--only the men do (Pakistan, countryside, my professor who mentored me in pediatric anesthesia has no record of her birth)
In places where the Goddess Energy is Suppressed and held down
Last night, the one who proposed to his long-term girlfriend recently was on call before me. I 'got' that the reason for the delay is that to buy a house there had been a concern over the loan. You see independent contractors don't get a W2, they get a 1099, and the requirements to apply for a loan are different.
He waited until he proposed so that he would have a house.
And he wanted the house so that they could have kids of their own.
It's like that.
Society is so structured that just about everything about reproduction has 'say' in it: from the church, from the courts, from the Law, from 'society', from 'culture'.
So much more 'say' than a couple who love each other very much and want a child together. As a matter of fact society makes them jump through hoops, each one costing more dineros along the way
When is this going to stop?
When are the single mothers going to feel beautiful and loved when they go to Babies R Us and make their registry ALONE?
When are the single mothers who are able to support their family in whatever way possible going to be applauded for not being on social support?
I met a girl on the flight to Hilo from Oahu. She was seventeen years old and going to meet her father for the first time in her life. She was the last one to meet him. His wife and her mother had connected on Facebook, and she learned he had an interest in her.
He had fathered THIRTEEN CHILDREN and not supported most of them!
I watched as she came down the escalator and saw the sign being held up by her stepmom welcoming her to Hilo.
The father was nowhere in sight! I overheard that he was in the car.
Funny thing he waited until she was almost of age until he contacted her, huh?
For every single mother there is a father out there. (sperm bank pregnancy excepted, of course!)
Why must single moms take the rap?
They were not alone in making these children!
The social stigma has to go. In one generation it will disappear entirely. And for me, it is leaving this heart TODAY.
In Goddess-centered cultures, the children remain with the mother their whole lives, and everyone cooperates in the raising of the children and assisting the parents. Both women and men. And everyone knows what's up. People stay together for the benefit of love and mutual growth. Not 'ties that bind'. if you have ever tried breaking them with divorce, you know it's not any fun at all...and not cheap either! LOL