Monday, June 10, 2013

The Bravest Hero I Know

It is my son.

Two nights ago, the preschooler at the house who is very territorial, was kicking and hitting my boy, who outweighs him by fifty pounds. My boy is strong, and built like a linebacker. He knows martial art and is very tough.

He didn't want to play with this kid because the preschooler was being too aggressive.

He also didn't want to hurt the boy by fighting back.

He ran to the bathroom to get away from this kid who is hard to control.We had an escape plan in advance. (He has told me to shut up, F-you, I hate you, you are evil, I don't like you, and also tried to spit/kick/hit me. In front of his parents! He also says the same to his mom--F-you, I hate you! Abusive behavior escalates so we came up with a plan just in case.)

The kid chased my boy, opened the locked bathroom door, and pinched so hard he drew blood. My son does not cry easily, but this hurt. It was difficult to console him after this attack.

We needed the older brother to contain the kid.

I have responded by ignoring the child completely. It is my right to keep peace in my world as best as I can. I love this child, but I love my peace more, and am loving from a distance. The parents are out for the night with a mutual friend, and I offered to stay with the kids.

My son has learned from the father what works to control this child: humor and play.

He has been telling stories like Scherezade, like Ruslan and Ludmilla, and playing until the kid laughs with delight. Now they are playing and wrestling. My son has forgiven and moved the relationship forward where I have chosen to forgive and disengage. That is why I am humbled by his humanity.

And because of his wise action, and Right Action, I am safe from emotional attack.

I am not being called the F-word.

There is Peace.

And I am thankful.

Never had I thought the child I carried would be a knight in shining armor for me.

Tonight he is.

We leave for another island tomorrow.

This family is close, and our souls are bonded.

If I hadn't experienced this conflict, I would not have discovered how much Peace means to me. How to be strong in a hostile environment. To KNOW in my very bones that I NEVER have to expose myself to verbal abuse, in any form, not even from someone who is under three feet tall. This situation is absolutely ridiculous, and I know it says so much to me to learn to set my boundaries emotionally (this is big for a survivor of abuse).

I know to follow my heart and make sure this child-who says, 'shut up!' when I offer food while the parents are go-- is fed, even if it is by going through his brother. I anchor and  hold my Vibration of Love. I see him watch me humming while I am working in the kitchen. He watches me unload the dishwasher carefully and with lovingkindness. He knows I care for his family, his mother who is my dear sweet friend. He even watched me when he thought I was asleep. He doesn't like me in his home, nor does he like anybody. But for now he is happy and engaged in play with his brother and my son.

He is the light of his father's eyes. I can see the love they share is beautiful, fresh, and complete between their hearts. It is wonderful to see the bond they have and how strong it is.

I thank God for all the lesson that has been given. It has made me stronger and everything is perfect for our development.


Reiki Doc

P.S. He just hit my son over the head twice with a sock filled with coins! Twice! If they were adults that would be considered assault, both the bleeding pinch and the coins to the head. How very sad. I ended a friendship--distanced it significantly--when they family bought a pit bull puppy. I just didn't want to take a chance. It looks like I am going to have to take steps with this family too. The personality is formed by this age. Kids like this need i.m. ketamine to anesthetize them--I have seen a handful of them, and one adult like this. There is risk to staff safety when one is this angry and lashes out. We give them tranquilizer, the same that is used in other areas as a dart, right to a big muscle with a needle through clothing, and back off until it takes effect. Some are that traumatized by the medical system that this is the only way to interact in a medical setting safely for the patient and everyone involved. It is hard to admit I am afraid of this child, but I am, and that's it.