We are in times right now, where ANYTHING goes. Close friends will turn against you, co-Lightworkers will betray you, and your deepest darkest secret buttons are going to get pushed. A lot!
The shadow chasers are not going out without a fight.
As of late I have had the opportunity to explore some of my own 'dragons' or 'dark side'--you may laugh and find it funny that I would share this with you....that I would even have them! But it makes sense if you think about a lot of lives lived, having 'picked up' some 'past' to go along with them.
Affairs of the heart are not my strong point. Especially when they involve my 'inner world' of Spirit. Everything 'makes sense' in my Spirit life, but when the two combine in the realms of the heart? Let's just say the topic makes material for a 'good movie':
- I was given a name of a person who was to be my Soul Mate in Medical School while I drove from Northern California to Southern with my car all packed by myself. Sure enough, this person was actually THERE and Blessed Mother gave me lots of coaching about him and our future. One day, I got my courage up, and shared my 'news' with him. I brought the journals, thinking they were evidence enough, for they were from Heaven! I quickly learned to keep all my messages to myself with that one--the rejection was so painful that at a party he came up behind me, covered my eyes, changed his voice and said, 'Guess who?'. I felt his marvelous energy and I knew at once, but I also picked up that the others were drunk and making fun of my 'gift'. I lied and said I didn't know, just to avoid being called a freak. (I think she was testing my sincerity to do Her Work in my willingness to do as She asked.)
- My son's father was my massage therapist. I was a dancer at the time, and I liked sports massage. He was talented and I danced better when I used his services regularly. Well, long story short, we began to talk. The energy that flowed between us was amazing. It somehow 'balanced' and for both of us 'everything felt right'. It turned out that he is clairvoyant, and I was so happy to find someone to talk to after all this time! Then came the dream--we shared a lifetime together, as we had both had the same recurring dream of being chased--for over ten years each of dreaming--only he was the male and I was the female who were running together. For him, all of a sudden everything was 'okay'--but in fact, that was when he split off to protect me, and got himself killed so I could escape.
- Naturally I thought this meant 'it's time to do things right!' and looked forward to blissful reunion. And it was, for a while...
- His favorite film of all time was the movie 'Dogma'. I had never seen it. The night he showed it to me, we stopped the movie and made love. Later we watched the rest of the movie. At the part at the end, where the Last One got told she was going to have a baby, the strangest feeling overcame me. It was as if they were talking to me, and I knew in my heart that I was going to have a baby and this was Spirit's way of making sure I knew about it. Tears of gratitude (I had fertility treatments with my ex-husband) flowed.
- What ended the relationship was the combination of my being pregnant and my talking to angels.
- Ever since, I shut down in relationship and focused on child raising, until only this year. I found someone I liked, who likes me back, and is very nice, and very Spiritual. He is a Seraphim but doesn't know it.
- It turns out that the person online who I never gave a second thought had something else in mind--long story short, we have something in common, much like the above 'common', same time in history, same location. He is a Unicorn (with the same attitude I've seen in other Unicorns--see my blog posts on them) and an Archangel who does White Magick, and I can feel it and I like it.
- Spirit tells me that who he says I am is True.
- I went into Spiritual Shock. A million things are going through my mind. Is this Shadow Chaser Deception? They can fake you out. They know what motivates me--the heart. I am a sitting duck. But more and more in common turns up. And the energies are wild!
- So--I put up my hands and called a 'Spiritual Time Out' and blew my 'whistle' as hard as I could.
So--the moral of the story is--whatever it is that 'pushes your buttons' is going to activate in these next few weeks to months.
Look at it as a cleansing. All the way to your core. I saw an image of someone in a hot air balloon cutting ballast to be able to go up.
Here's what I did to sort things out for me:
- Kindness to myself and others
- Calling a friend
- Calling for Spiritual Help. Today I called Cerridwen, Morgane, Hecate, Rhiannon, Our Lady, Brigit, and Isis to help me out. I wanted to be sure I understood what was being asked of me, and for their guidance on how to approach the situation. They promised support. My Karuna Reiki guide, and friend, came. 'He says he's You.' I said plainly. 'Does he act like Me?'. 'No. I'd know you in a million years. but what about who he says I am? Is that True?'. 'Yes'. 'Well, what am I supposed to do about it?' And he gave me a plan, and showed me to have trust in my intuition and my own ability to face the most fascinating situation. He assured me I won't get hurt, and in a short time, everyone will know everything about this anyway. All of the 'shadows' are going to be exposed to Light, so never fear.
If you feel like you are being rocked to your core, and your sensibilities are being strained, you are not alone.
Go far deeper into your self, your Spirit, and you will emerge with less 'ballast' and be on your way to the Higher Dimensions. There is no place to go but UP. Have courage when your 'past' comes up to your attention. Know that you are not alone, and this process is literally 'time-limited'. There is no right or wrong, there are no mistakes. All I can see right now is Love in the entire situation--with everyone who has played a part in this story--only Lessons, only Learning, only Light and Source encouraging me to Grow.
The gift is being able to know yourself better than you ever imagined. And that you can take with you to any Dimension you may go.
Aloha and Mahalos,