Sunday, October 13, 2013


This is a story of an 'aha!' moment I had recently. It arrived shortly after my Reiki student worked on me.

I went to see our mutual friend who has an office in the back. He is a healer, and I enjoy his presence very much. Spirit said, Ask him what he's doing!

So I knocked on the door, and I asked. He seemed annoyed at the break in concentration. I offered to leave, but he stood there. There was an inspirational sign I asked to read. I stepped in to the office, and enjoyed reading the inspiration. I was a 'Recipe for Happiness' sign.

I laughed.

Then he showed me his hobby, coins. He sells them on Ebay, to help abused kids. Ten percent of everything he sells goes to this cause.

It was as if I had just stepped off Willie Wonka's Magic Elevator and been instantly transported to the dinner table at my Italian grandparent's house. Nannu Filippo loved coins, and dealt in them, just like my friend!

'Do you have the book?' I asked, excitedly. I remember taking jars of coins to his house, and we had to wait until after dinner, and he would sort through them. He'd let me know which ones were valuable, and which ones were not. Most were not.

Then he would take out HIS coins, most of them foreign, and we would match them in the book. Some were worth more than others by their wear and tear...

these euros would not be worth more than face value

I discovered I loved silver! These are worth more than the silver, due to their age, and condition.

Then my friend showed me HIS coins. They were in little plastic boxes, and I knew they were the expensive ones that Nannu couldn't afford to get--the 'mint' ones came in the boxes like that. I longed for Nannu to be here to see this wonderful find! My eyes and knowledge couldn't appreciate the coins like Nannu could.

It was like when I met Muhammad Ali at the Carnegie Deli. As I took a picture with him, I explained how he was my grandfather's favorite person in the world! I couldn't believe my luck to have met him, but how ironic it was that it was me and not him to finally meet his hero of all time. Ali, gentleman as he was, asked to give me a kiss, and pulled me in close for the photograph. He said I was 'a pretty girl' and wished me good things.

Pretty? I have an old Roman coin like this I wear around my neck when I go to Renaissance Faire. Only then do I feel pretty--my spirit is grounded, the costumes flatter me, and I am absolutely free to be myself in every way. I don't have to be a doctor!

I've spent my whole life in agony over my not fitting in anywhere ELSE besides Ren Faire!

  • I don't look like Barbie
  • I'm female and I love math and science
  • we were always too poor in the neighborhood
  • I don't enjoy parties and bars--I can't relax
  • I hate 'shopping' and girly 'things'
  • In mediumship, I find I prefer those who have crossed over to the living because they are honest
  • I have a sense of responsibility for others, whether I am at work or not--not co-dependentl--just first born syndrome on overtime
  • There is a sense that I am 'different' and 'nobody cares' or 'notices' and no one wants to listen
  • In psychic circles, I am the 'rogue doctor' and not 'one of them'
  • In medicine, I am 'kinda different' but 'nice' so I am accepted. I also have excellent clinical skills and bedside manner.
I have been beating myself up for 'not fitting in' and feeling the pain of others 'having fun together' and my not being able to 'let go' like that and be 'like them'.

I also feel sad not to have a 'partner' or 'other' to share my heart, for no one really 'matches' it...

And then I realized--it's the ones that are 'like the rest' and 'mint' that everybody wants to have, but the REAL value are the ones that were made 'funny' at the mint, the ones that were mis-struck, like my friend deals in for his hobby.

They don't even look like a coin! And no one would ever take them as legal tender at the market or the bank.

I saw one nickel with twenty-two bids on Ebay, going for one-hundred twenty-five dollars! A mint condition one would never go for that much!

My Nannu Filippo, who is my Godfather AND my Grandfather, loves me! He gave me his breath as a blessing at my baptism. At my birth he gave mother a great big pot of mint so I would be tenacious and thrive like the plant. He saw my value.  He knew my 'different' (he was psychic too). He made sure I knew it, with a great big hello or goodbye, lifting me up, scratching my face with his stubble cheek, and with a big loud voice with a super thick Italian accent say, 'My queen, my queen, my queen!'

By some Divine Accident, I am the misstruck coin--lost somewhere between Heaven and Earth, not really 'fitting in' in either place. But it is my rarity--which I feel sharply every minute of the day--and my heart that makes me something one of a kind in all the world. My value, and my unique contribution to the Liberation of Gaia, is by being who I am, and doing what I was sent to do.

If you too, have a feeling of 'not quite being one of the crowd', and it bothers you, take heart. Your value is in your heart, and soul, and Purpose.

Take steps to know yourself better. You will discover it! And in the meantime, my arms embrace you with the love of unconditional acceptance and friendship in my heart.

Aloha and Mahalos,

Reiki Doc

P.S. On Ebay you can find my friend at 'peacefullscents'.