Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Anatomy Of A 'Lesson'

What is wrong with this picture?

I see it every day. One the surface, with 3D eyes, it look like a patient is reading and entertaining himself.

But with 5D? It is a person whose energy imbalance or 'Dis-Ease' has gotten so out of control that their 'vehicle' or body is TELLING THEM all System Alert! Fix Imbalance NOW and needing to be in the hospital to fix it!!! And they are blithely continuing the SAME behaviors that made them get the Dis-Ease 'Imbalance' in the first place, right in their Hospital Bed!!!!!

What is a health-care worker to do?

They can't listen. They are too wrapped up in themselves to 'take a hint' in the physical OR the spiritual.

And there are some who even an experienced physician or nurse wants to be no part of if they can help it. Yesterday I was 'on deck' for a case I didn't want to do--let me just say it was the consequence of advanced advanced advanced end-stage liver disease, and the patient was still drinking. It was going to be stinky, bloody, and a mess. Many good-hearted donors had given their blood to 'save a life'. I'm sure this was not the life they had envisioned when the needle got put in their arm.  This isn't to judge whether liver-disease and other self-induced chronic incurable diseases are the patient's 'fault' or not. What it is meant to say is that sometimes these imbalances are not pretty in any way, and leave a lot of mess not just for the employers, friends, and family to contend with, but also those of us who work in the hospital too.

In the meantime, I have been having the sense of being in chains, and 'held back' in my own Spiritual Development. The work I do takes pretty much every waking moment I can no longer bring in a book or a calendar or make plans for anything or talk on the phone when in the O.R. (I used to do this, all anesthesia does, because you have to make a dental appointment when the dentist is open--and our work is the most actually between cases, preparing and setting up.) The surgeons are too quick, and they like a fast turnover.  So once I set foot in the hospital, my life 'stops' and is 'on hold' in just about every way, as I take care of my patients.

But my heart was saying, 'I really am uncomfortable with my Lesson and where it is right now. I want to go and have a talk with God.'

So I went outside.

It is AMAZING the clarity of mind one gets when one goes out the building.  (I had a one hour delay before the surgeon was available--I wouldn't just 'walk' unless there was a 'gap'. We wait around a lot for surgeons.)

C: God? I am 'stuck' in my Lesson. I just can't get it. I don't feel good about where I am and I want to move past it but I keep making the same mistakes!

G: What is your most painful moment?

C: When?

G: What is the most painful thing you ever had to do?

C: Report Dad.

G: Why was that painful? What was the most painful part about that?

C: I had to choose. Between him and my son.

G: And?

C: Dad was so selfish and messed up he would even try what he did with my kid!

G: And what else? What else was painful about it?

C: I really loved Dad. I worshipped him! (I suddenly remembered how when I was twenty-one, mom took me aside and gently told me not to look up to him so much--he 'poked' his sister when they shared a bed, and caused great trouble to the family. There was a pattern. I also remembered his confession after he had passed, through medium Tim Braun, that 'he was very smart and had everyone fooled but because I inherited his mind I was the only one that figured it out. He meant no harm; he was bored. He had mental instability, and was surprised he 'stuck around alive' as long as he did. He was deeply depressed and actually jealous of my opportunities when I became ready for college. He felt his life was 'over' and mine was 'just beginning'.--we made Peace.)

G: What was good about the experience?

C: I could protect my son, and report anonymously, and keep the peace in the family. (The paternal side of the family took the 'rap'--our little one had made confessions not just to me, but sordid ones at the dinner table in front of his dad and grandparents and uncle, too. Social services encouraged me to 'continue contact but never let them be alone together'--because the relationship is important to the child's growth, and the predator was on hospice now, anyway.)

G: Did it work?

C: Yes.

G: What is beyond that causing the hurt?

C: My daddy always kept people emotionally at arm's length. He was nice, and taught me to bat and to throw, and never touched me--but I feel rejected by him on some level. My most important male role figure, my father, was emotionally unavailable to me growing up.

G: And what is the pattern which causes you pain?

C: Deep down I believe men are always going to hurt me and reject me.

G: Is this true?

C: No. Nannu Filippo was always there for me. He didn't talk about feelings, but I knew he understood them and respected mine. He provided unselfishly for his family, he shared what he loves to do (gardening, coin collecting), never tried to 'convince' me of anything. He accepted me for who I am, and as I got older, and more beautiful, his love for me grew with pride in all of my accomplishments and just plain growing up. He let me know it with hugs, his smile, and calling me 'My queen, my queen, my queen.'

G: And?

C: That is why I grieved his loss for so long. Why I bought him flowers every week for his grave for ten years (until I became a mom and he said, in spirit, 'save your money'.) That is why everybody came to his funeral. He was a good man.

G: So other good men exist, and are kind and loving and honest?

C: Yes.

This is the kind of focused 'learning' that comes with a Guide, in my case, I called the Guide, 'God'--and it felt like Him. His questioning was gentle, he reworded things to make a point, and he always expected me to 'figure it out'.

This is how Life Lessons 'work' in the Fifth Dimension--in our new Vibration; we can ask for help.

How do I feel now? Well, I see lifetimes of trauma to my Divine Feminine. I also see how I have made the same mistake over and over and over in my choice of partners. Although I see 'the error of my ways' I also feel like I want to 'clean up the wounds' .

Gaia is a Prison Planet.

We are like Australia once was, a prison colony. We are 'fenced in' by the Veil by our 'Supervisors' (Those Who Do Not Have Our Best Interest At Heart). They talked a good story, got the contract, and then went Rogue on the planet. This is why everywhere you turn there is something from 'them' to 'keep us in line' and 'keep our numbers down'. If you don't believe me, look for things that are marketed as 'fun' and 'good for you and healthy'. I see right through the lies. Most people can't. But more and more people are 'waking up' to this horrible truth. (This is why the Resistance Movement is working on the Liberation of The Planet. That same 'team' of Supervisors used to cover many other places, and have been kicked out from everywhere else to this last hold, this corner of the galaxy, and us.)

The reason I bring all of this up is that we are going to each need individualized healing on a very deep soul level to become fully functional in 5D. We have scars, ticks, fleas, and who knows on a soul level what else? The healing is titrated to each individual using Light, and Vibration/Sound. It is very pleasant, and even though the one I went in looked 'funny', it didn't hurt. It didn't 'change' me, and I felt much better when I emerged. (It happened in meditation during a nap I was taking on the couch.--here's the blog post:

So here I am embarrassed and sad because I know deep in my bones, the thing I want to do in life more than anything--explore a healthy relationship--Isn't going to happen until I go back to that Light Box some more for a good healing! I'd just end up doing the same things, right?

The angels say, 'No' and wave their hands at me right now. Their job is to encourage hope.

So, the point of this whole long essay is that once you 'see' with 5D eyes, you're going to take a look at yourself and go, 'Oh No! What HAPPENED?!' because you will understand the 'wear and tear' the 3D 'experience' has on a soul. And you'll want it fixed. Right away. But you can't. And it makes you sad. But the angels say, 'Have Hope'. (Even this morning my guide asked, can you make it one more day? Just one more day? And I said, 'no. the pain is too great. I can't do it. I've had enough of this 'reality' and I don't accept it any more.)

I think I'll go and make breakfast. I've had enough of this lesson for now. Harry Bird is twenty-four years old today! His favorite is French Toast. I think we'll have us a little celebration before we head off to school. I have the day off. You might hear more from me later. I hope you don't mind my sharing with you; I hope it will be easier when it is your 'turn' for 'lessons' so you will 'know what to expect'. 

Go in Nature.
Ask for Help.
Forgive Yourself and Others.
Prepare to be kind of surprised perhaps in a not-so-nice way, but Spirit is okay with it--it's part of the learning.
Give yourself Time to 'assimilate' what you have learned.
Be totally honest with yourself and Spirit, and trust that 'help is on the way' with the Resistance Movement, the Divine, and Source.

Aloha and Mahalos,

Reiki Doc