Thursday, April 25, 2013

How and Why Do I See Our Lady?

Some of you might be wondering how it is that I 'channel' messages from Our Lady, Mother Mary?

I was an otherwise normal kid. The only clue I had to my 'gift' was that mother would call to us in her mind to come home when it was dinner, and that I was a 'receiver' when our family played the game where we look at a card and the other tries to 'guess' what it is. I got almost all of them right.

Mother never spoke about the visions of angels her father, my nannu, had while being out in the forest and hungry because his grandparents who were raising him never fed him. His mom had died of tuberculosis when he was two. He would cry in desperation, and a gentle old man would show up and offer him food. He was a kind man, and never said anything.  But nannu saw that the old man would vanish into thin air when he thought nannu was not looking.

So the first part of How and Why is genetic. It runs in the family. Furthermore, since nannu's mother was full-blooded Irish, that might have a part too.

When I was seven I found an interest in metaphysics. I read all of my mom's books. Linda Goodman's sun signs. Palmistry. Numerology. Dream Interpretation. I read avidly and felt an immediate connection with those books.

So the second part of How and Why is from Past Lives. Often we carry on the work that we had started in lifetimes before this. That 'connection' is often a clue.

I also became very spiritual. In the protestant church with the kid's program, I never really clicked although I enjoyed myself and the teacher. It was when I became active Catholic around twelve that it really 'stuck'. I enjoyed prayer and the silence after communion. I also was active in Campus Life, and had bible studies and worship morning and night. It was at Seaside Camp in Santa Barbara that I learned to read the bible on my own, how to interpret it using PRESS pray, read, evaluate, study, and share. I read the bible with joy every morning, and asked God to send Wisdom, the most lasting of all jewels in Heaven.

When I turned twenty-one I got my first Rosary as a gift. It wasn't until I graduated at twenty-three and was afraid to drive myself to and from work (about a thirty minute drive) that I prayed the rosary. I had to. My hands were shaking at the steering wheel. I found that if I used my fingers to count the Hail Mary's and in between them for the Our Father's, I calmed and was able to drive. I felt a blessing every time I did this. I did this every day for two years, at first to calm the shakes, and later, to give thanks for the miracle of my fear being lifted. I always prayed on the way to work, and listened to alternative music on the way home.

Mark's family (my first husband), was very Catholic. So much so that they even knew a Visionary. You know like the kids in Lourdes (Bernadette), Fatima (Francisco, Jacinta, and Lucia), and Medjugorje? Well, this was Barbara. On the day she was at their house, in prayer, I walked in the front door and experienced a 'knowing' (claircognizance) that she was seeing God. It was a powerful awareness. At dinner I asked her all kinds of questions--how does she look, what does her voice sound like, what does she wear? And patiently Barbara answered all of my questions. I was surprised how no one else took an interest in wanting to know who Mary was and what she was like!

In the message Barbara had written during her 'connection time' with Mary, Blessed Mother gave the message 'There is C--that's my girl!' the minute I walked in the door. 

Mother had worn a medal of Our Lady the entire time she had been pregnant with me, and dedicated my life to Her.

Still, at this point, the third part was Interest and Desire to Know Our Lady, out of Love and Gratitude.

While I was applying to medical school, I found a church in Baltimore. On my knees in the empty church, in prayer, I said from my heart to Mary, 'Thank you for being Good'. I meant it. In this horrible world with lies and deception, She is my guiding Light. I felt that She was pleased very much with that prayer; it was the first time I 'sensed' her in Return.

One March, we drove down as an extended family to Barbara's house in Santa Maria. Barbara was on her knees and interacting with Blessed Mother. She did this every day at four-thirty p.m., rain or shine, on trains and buses, no matter what. Barbara was studied at UCSF. They put ice cold water with a water pic into her ears while she was 'in ecstacy with Blessed Mother'. Barbara was not there. She did not react. Even a comatose person would react with their eyes moving either toward or away the ear. Barbara's eyes did not move. She was Someplace Else outside her body. The Jewish, Buddhist and Athiest physician examiners who had been selected for their lack of bias, converted on the spot.

So back to Santa Maria in Barbara's Living room, I was to Barbara's left on my knees. Something overcame me, as wave of gratitude. As I looked at the others, I 'sensed' that everyone was 'taking' Blessed Mother's energy. Stubbornly, I decided to be the one that gave back. I lifted my hand in blessing, and I sent as much love and gratitude as I could to Her. I did this for twenty, thirty, forty minutes, just pouring Love into Her and thanking her for all her Work.

Then I wondered, 'If I am touching Her, where exactly am I touching? I don't want to touch in the wrong place or anywhere that is uncomfortable for Her. I can't see her or know.'

In a beautiful voice like tinkling of bells, and calm, even tone, I heard, 'On my tummy' and She laughed gently.

I have been with Her ever since. She usually shares what to write, and I write it in my journals. I hear the words and feel the emotion as I write with my pen. It is like taking dictation. But also She lets me know if there is something that needs to be said or done to help somebody. I sense an urgency when She is wanting me. And I do what She requests.

My calling is through Humility and Obedience. That is my path to Heaven. For some, it is Poverty. For others it is through Illness. All of us have a Path that has been set out for us.

If you are asking questions about why I 'connect' with her, and what I do, here are the answers. I hope I have explained them sufficiently for your interest and your heart.

In Medical School, I had a Task that was assigned to me. It is To Show The Dying How Close They Are To God.  I have helped many find the Light. And I have consoled my patients, where my voice in the O.R. while they were going to sleep was the last Voice they ever hear in this life. They are that sick! It is an honor and a great pleasure to do this work for which I am most thankful. She also is my Reiki Two guide, and supports all my Reiki work in the O.R. Now it is time for me to go.

Aloha and Namaste,

Reiki Doc


  1. This post proves to me that "God" comes to different people in different ways. I was raised Catholic and could never find a connection... now as a practicing Quaker, we have many lovely moments...

  2. So healing and affirming for me. When I was three (and VERY shy) I was adamant that our Sunday School nativity production was not representing the Jesus' Mommy accurately and I couldn't understand why people didn't know what she looked like.

    Last night I asked her to comfort me so I could sleep deeply. Divine Mother provides me with a nurturing that I haven't experienced in this human life. I still long for physical maternal love but I feel so blessed to receive Divine Mother's presence and I remember to thank her and beam my love to her too.

  3. Thank you for sharing your connection to Mother Mary. I went to an Episcopalian church for a few years growing up and as a young girl I felt a very sacred connection to this church. My parents left after a while and sadly I had to as well. Later, I dropped all religion and believed in a God that had no religion but honestly I still feel quite connected to at least the angels and archangels, Mother Mary and Jesus. I know I have a deep connection but am lacking when it comes to actually connecting and feeling their presence when I want to. This makes me very sad - i have bought courses that guide me through meditations to connect and for a while they do but i sense there is more that I have yet to access. I have this knowing that with my connection to the heavenly realm anything is possible but then I just can't connect like I know is possible. Thank you so much for any suggestions or guided wisdom.

  4. Oh how my heart overflows reading your beautiful story! What you are doing for those dear dear hurting people. GOD BLESS YOU!! You are certainly an Angel and I feel we must know each other. I say this be My dear Italian Sistar sent you to me in a prayer I made to AA Rafael just days ago. I am finally taking my first trip to,Italy in a month with my husband and girls. It is a special trip for me not only be I was supposed to go 5 times that fell through since I was 16 ( now 43) to connect with my Ancestral Grandmothers and the land they toiled in the name of the Goddess. I am truly blessed to have found you. I hope we can talk and connect further. I posted who I am on another page about the AA incarnations. I hope you can feel my Truth xoxoxo You truly are a Gift to Humanity. May the God~Goddess bless you and your family all of your days!!