Friday, April 5, 2013

Goodbye Uncle Rainy

Legend says at the center of a Celtic Cross time stands still

I walked in to the restaurant, and spied my cousin, who I have not seen since the last funeral. He welcomed me with open arms. Once, he had taken me out line dancing, and we talked about our divorces and swore to keep up. His wasn't the dad that passed. It was our mutual uncle.

His father, came next, and gave me a big hug. The family millionaire, made in real estate investments and flipping houses, this uncle gave the nicest hugs. I have since discovered that behind those hugs are some nasty skeletons in the family closet. But since I have only three Uncles left, and this one never laid a hand on me, I hugged him back and was genuinely glad to see him.

Next came the daughter, the middle child of the deceased Uncle Rainy, let us call her Bree. Childless, she married her childhood sweetheart around the time of Uncle Rainy's accident. Both the bride and the groom had fathers in wheelchairs at the wedding that was over thirty years ago. Uncle Rainy was a quadriplegic. I greeted her husband too. He is one who never looks you in the eye and is in sales.

Around this time I started to notice something odd. All three of the surviving children were not seated together. There were entire sub-family groups at far different tables!

Bree was at the one with my sister, my brother-in-law, and Crazy Uncle Dee. They were close, and were in close contact. We often saw Bree at our family events. Dee had glass after glass of alcohol at the table.

At the next table was Cousin Dick. He too had a drink in hand. I won't go into it, but apparently his name was, ah, rather 'matching' his personality? His children were across the room with their significant others. Their mother was cousin Susie, who has channeled messages to me once or twice in my book. There was a nasty divorce over his hooking up with a mother from his son's roller hockey team.  I met her, and was surprised she calls his kids 'her children' when last I knew, only a few years ago, they were all adults at the time of their bio mom's death. She raised them, single, for like, eight years since the divorce before succumbing to cancer. Her children were devastated by her loss, and have never recovered. They are civil with their dad.

There was a table with the relatives, the sister of the deceased and their family. I hadn't seen them for thirty years. It was nice to see them again.

The one I wanted to see was Annie. Annie is the cousin I was closest to at family gatherings. I had always felt sad for her. Annie had married a black man, and this did not go over well with the family back thirty years ago. She had two children, and there were rumors that the husband was a drug dealer and that she should leave him.

All I know is that Nanu threatened not to go to my wedding if I invited her.

If it wasn't for Facebook, I would not have had contact with her at all. And this has only been in the last three or four months.

When I saw Annie, she was the only one who was crying. She was so depressed. Her best friend sat with her. Both were drinking it up. Annie told me how her friend took her shopping to buy something new for the funeral. Annie had devoted her life to taking care of Uncle Rainy. But only at the end, the last five years. I didn't ask questions. 

She showed me a picture of her dad in the coffin. I was so glad to see him. It had been five years since I last made a trip to the house. 

The story she told would make you cry. 

You know, when people are near death, they are pretty uncomfortable the couple of weeks before. I remember my grandma (dad's mom) calling me in a panic, at all hours of day and night, while I was in medical school, saying, 'I can't breathe!'. I would listen, and ask if she was doing everything her doctors were telling her to do. She would say 'yes' and I would say, well, you are doing everything right then, aren't you? She had terrible congestive heart failure, and there wasn't much left that could be done.

Apparently Uncle Rainy, full of cancer, couldn't feel any pain--'a blessing, his doctor said--from the cancer. But the malignant pleural effusion was what started to make him panic in the end. There was hospice involved, and some miscommunication about the hospital when in panic, Uncle Rainy said he wanted to go to the ER. Cousin Dick ended up taking him, and as the ambulance came, the father whispered into his daughter Annie's ear that he loved her forever, and they both knew it was the last time she would see him again.

Dyfunctional with a Capital 'D' Uncle Rainy said, in Spirit, when I started to notice the seating arrangements in the room earlier.

He was right. For all of his millions as a 'smart businessman' (after the lawsuit settlement from the accident and 'investments' after), Dick and Bree hadn't wanted to buy him a new suit. He wanted to be buried in a blue suit and a white shirt. Annie had to argue with them that all he had was sweats and tee shirts, but he used to wear suits, wanted to be buried in one, and could afford it. 'But do we have to buy him the pants?' Bree asked. 

He was buried in a grey suit with a blue shirt, Annie said, barely hiding her disappointment. He did get, however, the same type of funeral as his wife, Auntie Ann (no church, just people talking), and 'something for everyone to eat afterwards'.

Annie says she has no place to live. She lived in Uncle Rainy's home with him. There had been so much conflict over the family finances that each has a lawyer, making a total of three over the estate. All he wanted was for peace and to know that Annie would be treated fairly by her siblings. Uncle Rainy had cut them off to make a point to respect her, but the older two said it was Annie 'twisting things around in his mind' and sought legal counsel after the 'gift money' stopped.

Five years ago, I was shocked to see upstairs in that house. Downstairs was where Uncle Rene lived, it was beautiful with everything he could need, and updated. Upstairs was where Dick was. It was filthy and falling apart. He drank, just like his mommy.  And Bree used to be the alternate caregiver, until Annie came on the scene, and then the family grew more strained. All the while there were professional caregivers both day and night to help with his nursing care.

I noticed today Bree, and Dick, and their spouses, looked like cats with a big bowl of cream to enjoy. At the table, Bree was already talking about going shopping at the nearest outlet mall. 

Uncle Rainy wanted me to talk to you about this today. The whole situation that he left behind.

And to leave with these questions:
  1. Do you think it will matter who gets the money now that he is passed?
  2. Who of the three children is most likely to Ascend? Annie, Bree, or Dick?
  3. What is going to happen to the family ties when 'money goes away'?
  4. Who listened to their heart and married for love and was ahead of their time?
  5. Why were the children not able to rise above their differences, and give their wealthy father the peaceful death he so desired?
These are the kind of thoughts that gets the separation between Duality and the Higher Dimensions clearer when you are an impartial observer.

I love all three of my cousins. I spent time talking with each of them today.

But I also have a bit of advice: watch out for those who spend other people's money and do not earn it themselves.

Namaste,

Reiki Doc




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