August 29, 2010
It’s Karen! I ADOPTED you! You are my daughter up here. I will take care of you. Try Yoga. Lots and lots and lots of it. Every single day. Take classes. Not on your own. Pilates is fun—yoga is for your soul. At work. At work. Get a cute outfit from Amazon (free shipping).
It’s Darren’s turn (steps back)
(very very quiet)
Thank you for taking care of my sister Heather. When she lost her job. It helps her lots. I was crazy in my mind, but not in my heart. I knew what you were doing and why. God told you. It won’t last forever (your paying her to watch your son but really to help her financially. I gave her one thousand dollars a month for 'unlimited sitting' as it was needed. She was my neighbor four doors away.). God wants you to save your money. For Granny Faye ( ed- my old sitter who moved to Oklahoma) is back. I blessed it and I changed her heart.
My hanging of myself was to stop those little voices. The one you are hearing today is mine. I am not scary. The ones I heard in my head were terrifying. Just like Genevieve’s brother. God will take good care of you. Reward you on your task. You are superhuman in some ways, but not all. Open your heart to men. God will follow. You will be happy. God has someone wonderful. Walk to it.
My life’s purpose was to be at odds with myself. To destroy the temple and come back. I broke my mother’s heart. I will be there for you, and all moms, in order to repay what I did to mine. My purpose was not harmonious. Not dark, but STRUGGLE. Ryan was too. To test. To test. All three mothers passed (the test), Genevieve’s, Ethel, Linda. They just don’t know it yet until they pass over.
I am watching you for a while and thanking you for loving me. Enough to cleanse my house for mommy (ed - I hired Margaret to do a clearing for both the home after the suicide, and for Ethel Darren's mom). God will pay the money back to you. For I am sending it. Enjoy the Fall. Summer still comes back. You will have more time to enjoy it. (tousles my hair). I love you. As does Jared M (ed- his nephew).