Monday, April 22, 2013

Dead Duck?

As you know, I live in Southern California. I am a native, and nothing is more normal for me than driving on the freeway.

Today, after I had my hair cut, I drove two exits up the 405 to see a friend. I had hopes to take her to see a healing garden at the back of a hospital where I used to work. But she sounded busy on the phone. We made plans for me to pay for the catering I had done for L&D day and night shifts.

Right when I hung up in the car--there is a button on the steering wheel--spirit caught my attention:
to the side of the road was a duck. 

A little brown duck, with it's orange-yellow feet in the air. It was intact, not torn up or anything. But it was on its back and it was not moving.

A Dead Duck? 

Oh Spirit, this is not good. I remembered the horror of the pigeon that flew into the windshield of Mark and my car way back when I was applying to medical school. It broke its neck, was paralyzed, and was moving its little head in circles. It was suffering. Without giving it a second thought, Mark crushed its skull with his foot to put it out of its misery. I almost threw up and started crying immediately.

With that sign from Spirit, I knew without a doubt that our marriage was dead.

I braced myself for my friend's work. Her restaurant was closed. I went in the back door, like she said. I walked slowly through the kitchen to find her.

I was interrupting a meeting. I felt embarrassed. It was important. There was no way I was going to get my friend out in the sunshine. I tripped over a chair walking to the back where they said she was.

He was there.

At the meeting. His back was to me.

I saw the hair. His hair. His sexy curly hair, just the way I like it.

I had never seen his hair before. It had always been under a hat.

I was a goner. All I can think of now is touching it and going through it with my fingers. *Sigh*

There is no turning back.

Sometimes giving up and letting go has nice surprises.

I think I'll let go some more. <3

Oh, by the way, I forgot to mention--that dead duck was a mallard--all brown with no colors--so it had to have been a female. ; )


Reiki Doc