I felt the urge to chant...and I forgot my mala at home! Here I was in the OB Anesthesia call room, faced with a dilemma: chant or give up? Spirit was giving a 'nudge'. How can I do this? How can I do this? I wondered.
Then I remembered my rosary. I bet some of you are wondering how in the world I ever managed to say the rosary and drive to counteract my fear of driving on the freeway to my work when I was twenty-three, aren't you? You can't drive with beads! Not with a stick shift!
Well how about one of those little rings with ten bumps and a little cross on it, a 'finger rosary'?
I used my fingers! There are ten Hail Marys in a decade, and five decades in a Rosary. I would say Hail Marys and press lightly on the finger where I was at. In between I would say Our Father and Glory Be. I would do one decade for each digit on my right hand. Of course, at the start of a Rosary, we say the 'I believe in the....' big prayer, followed by three Our Fathers. And at the end of the Rosary (I alternated Joyful, Sorrowful, and Glorious mysteries each day), I would say one special prayer I was taught to say.
I did that every day on the way from Berkeley to Pleasanton! For years! (the fear went away somewhere in the middle of those years, but I said it still just to let Blessed Mother know how much I appreciate getting over my fear.)
Today I did similar: ten times ten plus eight. <3
It felt really good to chant!
We can't all have the quiet spa music and incense! I went to a Buddhist ceremony once. A student of mine had a brother who was going to be a monk for one month. He shaved his head and had a robe and a rice bowl. I was invited because I was spiritual. It was a Thai monastery. I meditated with them. I walked in circles saying intentions around a money pit they had to raise funds for some building thing. I dropped big bills in just to be nice, even though I was a single mom on an academic, part-time salary.
I was so jealous! I was SO jealous of those monks! Imagine, having the time to think and pray and connect with spirit? That would have been a total luxury in this life!
I have to LIVE! I have to work to support our tiny household! I barely get time off!
So how do I 'make do'?:
- I layer my prayers into what little time I have. As a result my power of concentration goes up, and I can pray in increasingly discordant environments. Yes, I can meditate in a bus station. Make that Grand Central Station. It's beautiful there, too...
- The more you layer, the more you can flip back and forth from 'here and now' tasks and meditation's 'Here and Now'. It gets easy, it really does.
- When you pray with your heart center, you allow for 'little mistakes'. It doesn't have to be perfect. Spirit will correct for it when the intention is good.
- Today was eight in the morning and I was at work. There was something happening. But I really wanted to join my energy with the cause for Egypt! Eight was the proper time in my time zone. While I was holding an airway in place while the surgeon put in a trach at the bedside, watching the monitors, and being fully present 'here and now', I set the intent to join up with the others too, and I Let Go of my idea 'you can't do this'. Just like listening to a song at work, I had the memorized meditation going, more or less, through my mind too. It wasn't like I was totally concentrating on Egypt--just enough for my energy and Light to go without putting anything at risk. Sure there were interruptions (turn up the propofol! LOL) but I felt my energy join with the group. There were no visions, there were no arm movements or spinning. It was all in my mind. But I did it and did just enough as best I could.
Make Do with your Spiritual practice. I cannot emphasize the importance of it enough. Jump in, and connect to Source! Any way you can!
What's holding you back? C'mon! You can do it!!! Go For It! Dude---you are made for it!
Love and Light,
Mahalo and Aloha,