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Thursday, February 7, 2013
Healing Candle 1: Wildflower Meadow
For Imbolc I had bought some candles to help me release the old and make way for the new.
Wildflower Meadow, a green soy candle, reminded me of my perfect day. I was seven years old, and had befriended a fellow camper in the Dorst Campground where my family was camping. His name was Patrick, and he was from Pennsylvania. A very kind soul, he balanced my feminine by being masculine in the healthiest way I have ever experienced in my life. He took an interest in me, a genuine one. A little older, but not much, he guided me to experience the meadow that was right next to the campground. We saw skunk cabbage, walked on fallen logs, and laughed in the sunshine.
Between one log and the next, if it was a tough climb for me, he offered a hand, never making me feel weak in any way.
He also showed me the most wonderful surprise I had in my life, even until now. He asked if I wanted to see something special. He took me by the hand to a patch of snow by the meadow. It was June, and in the shade there was still a little left. For me, a California native, snow in itself is very rare and special! But in the snowdrift, were the strangest little red 'flowers' pushing up. Patrick said they were snow flowers. The snow, and the flowers, together had such a beautiful scent! It was more wonder than I could ever imagine, coupled with such kindness and willingness to share with a friend.
We were together three days. And when Patrick drove away with his family, I cried. I knew I would never meet anyone like him again.
When times are tough, I re-live that day in the meadow. And I bring back all of the Lovingkindness from Patrick, who was my angel, if only for a short time.
My family was stressful. There was conflict upon conflict my entire childhood. Money was tight. Mother had a hair-trigger temper. Father was controlling; emotion was not allowed. I was lectured for hours on end about 'my being selfish'. They tried to tell me that my allergies 'were psychosomatic'. I had asthma that was not diagnosed--my lungs would whistle on a smoggy day while I played. I never told anybody, or understood what it was. I just stopped until it finished and I could get enough air to play again.
The Wildflower Meadow candle is my way of saying 'good bye' to all that. Both the happiness, the 'oasis' of Lovingkindness in the desert of my young life, and the emotional scars are behind me. Patrick has gone on to live his life. And I have made the best of what I have with mine also. My childhood, is a 'take the best and leave the rest' when that candle burns out by the end of this day. The fragrance has been lovely. And I know this is baggage I want to leave behind when I Ascend into the Golden Age.