January 5, 2008
Fishy died today.
Pugsly the fish. I got him when I was pregnant. He’s three years old. That is a long time for a betta. The cold home was hard on him.
“You will have a miracle. Another life. It is unexpected. Healthy. A healthy life. The way God intends it to be." said a little voice, both wise and calm, as I fished out the body from his fish bowl.
"Thank you for taking care of me. I love you. It is I you heard saying ‘I love you” all yesterday. I was dying. It happened in the night. Do not be sad. I am happy. Not tro bury me. Flush. I want to go back to the sea. Flush with flowers that you pick. Not with the baby. Tell him that his fishy died and went away. Is in Heaven."
"God has something beautiful for you. And elegant. D.S. is blown away by your body, personality and light, ‘the total package.” God has lovemaking for you. But not with him. You are surprised, or rather, shall be." (D.S. was my latest 'crush' that was going 'nowhere')
"Not to flush." said Pugsly as he apparently changed his mind.
"Bury. In the back by the Fava bean plants. On the right. Pray for me. God is taking care of everything. You will be loved. As I have loved you. Loved…by another…in the flesh. It is time for me to go. I loved you taking care of me. I had no pain when I passed." this wise betta soul advised.
"Pugsly the fish (thank you for naming me that)"
Pats my head. I see his spirit, like a human. (I can feel his gratitude and love, but am still crying over the loss and his bent colorful body that was stiff with rigor mortis. What happens next is the same thing that happened when the Gecko, 'Pink Floyd' passed--Our Lady steps in to console me.)
Blessed Mother points to the Book of Life, and says, “It was time.”
(editor's note-today-I saw His name written clearly in the gleaming pages, and the date and that he was scheduled to die as her finger pointed in the book. She had done this before when I was feeling guilty over the gecko's passing shortly after the baby was born. There was his name and the date for him to pass. Oddly enough, I saw the Book in January of this year, 2013, when I had lost all hope. My name is in it. There also is another name with it. We are not going to die. I saw the name quite clearly, and it is someone I know outside of medicine. I know what it means and I keep this information to myself. I have all eternity this time to wait for what is planned in the Book of Life. We talk about this situation together often, and She gives me Motherly Advice. I appreciate her gentle encouragement very much. No matter what, it will be Right, this time around.)