Tuesday, February 19, 2013

On 'Being Good' and Money



'If anything happens to me, be good to your little sister. Will you be good to her for me?' mom asked while she was in intensive care at the hospital.

Of course mom, I will be good to her. Don't worry! I answered. It was easy because I am good to everybody. Why would I yell at her or make her life miserable in any way? I love her!

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'I have a Big Favor to ask of you, ' mother asked, this time from her floor bed at the hospital. 'Write your sister a check for one thousand dollars... I will PAY you BACK.'

It stung, the request. I had just paid almost two thousand dollars in tuition for the martial arts for the year. And I owed almost one thousand dollars to the school, and that was ON TOP of my regular monthly bills. From the tone in her voice, I KNEW that A) she was never going to pay me back and B) this had been going on for a LONG TIME, supporting this sibling. 

Yes mom, I will write the check tonight when I got home from the hospital. I said, letting mom cash in on her 'one and only deathbed promise' that Sicilian mothers have a right to make. I couldn't live with myself if she died and I had said no to her promise she asked of me, no matter how difficult it is.

I wrote 'I love you' in the little 'memo' section on the check.  Why do so many people confuse money with love and love with money and any of it with 'being good'?  And I felt like kicking myself as I put it in the mailbox.

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My best friend I hang out with, another mother from the school, is from Singapore. I asked her for advice. Apparently this is common in asian families, where one sibling is not doing well and making poor choices. The parent enlists the one seen as 'doing better' to support this one who have 'money problems'.

'Tell your mother you need the money to take care of your own children first. This is a bottomless pit and get out.'

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And then I recalled mother describing the boyfriend that the rest of the family was horrified my sister chose to date. He had a record. You could look it up online. 'He is good to your sister...' she demurred lovingly, as if his giving her expensive gifts like the Chanel purse she wanted 'was good' and 'made up  for his sins'.

The rest of us were shocked at what being with him was doing to the reputation of our sister.

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"He went to Mc Donald's because he wanted a smoothie. He wanted the berry one. He bought me this-- (shows me the yellow smoothie)--He is good to me.' Said my friend who had been watching my kids all day about her boyfriend. He has money.
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My friends, money is going AWAY!

There are no dollar signs in Heaven. And Heaven is right on schedule to arrive to earth. All we are going to have is the 'ability to manifest and co-create to meet out needs'.

In HEAVEN on EARTH everyone will have Prosperity and Abundance.

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A new friend of mine was going to stay at the restaurant after Kirtan Drumming. She is one of the organizers of the event. I was starving. Although I had been told that people 'stay and eat after Kirtan', this week, somehow, everyone had eaten before the drumming circle. All day, all I had eaten was two bowls of cereal and five strawberries. I had to eat.

'I will stay for tea' she said. And we waited for the restaurant to open, and we sat at the 'bar' together. It is a Vegan restaurant that is noted for its 'Raw Kitchen' and affordable 'Raw Food'.

I was stumped. Her words did not match her aura. I knew she was hungry. But she had not enough money to pay for it, and was focused on her lack. When you have a clairvoyant friend, they are going to know this much about you without your saying a word. (soon when everyone 'wakes up' we will ALL be this way with each other.)

I couldn't eat in front of her. But I had to eat. I was in a bind. The prices were expensive, but not that much--I could afford it. This is my only night out with the kids at Dad! I offered to buy her dinner.

She refused! Again, I 'picked up' energetically, that she did not want to set up a cycle of 'obligation' or as my asian chemical engineering friends laughingly called to it, set up 'dinner wars'. I was well-educated by them on how to 'fight for the tab' at the end, in proper Asian culture.

So I leveled with her. "Look. I am an anesthesiologist. And I am starving! I have to eat. But if you do not I cannot eat in front of you.' I pressed further. 'You do not owe me ANYTHING. This is MY GIFT to YOU.' She hesitantly agreed. I ordered a large salad to share, and she ordered a raw vegan appetizer. And we had ginger tea.

Guess who ELSE was generous? The owner! Her husband and I are coworkers. She gave us free green drinks, scoops of avocado that tasted somehow like egg yolks (she put a little black salt on them). She even offered to give me a free jar of Dr. Shulzie (spelling) green energy total nutrition after giving me a taste of it. This was a big jar, and goes for fifty at the health food store. I said, 'I will take it even if it tastes nasty because you recommend it (because I love and respect you). But I will pay.' She gave it to me for wholesale, which is twenty-five dollars. This woman's heart understands that the more you give away, the more comes back to you if your Heart Center is Working Properly.

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The more you focus on MONEY the less chance you will have of 'waking up'. My ex, the father of my kids, is a long way from waking up.  Through the children, I hear of his schemes and dreams 'to win the lottery' I know how he buys them 'kid meals' for 'portion size' although some of them are so big I can wear their clothes! Kid's meals are CHEAP. He has never paid a penny in child support, and through his 'work' as a massage therapist what is 'reported income' is much lower than 'actual' and difficult to prove because he has a clientele of many 'cash patients' he works on in their home.

I have 'let him go' financially because otherwise he might make the custody battle flare up again.

His mother understands how much I do for the children, and is always making comments about 'some day' when 'he will get a good job' and 'help'.

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Here are some 'thoughts' that from now on, when you think of them, I encourage you to notice and 'pluck out' like weeds in a garden:

  • I could do 'this' if I only had enough money
  • He 'has money' (said with a sense of entitlement to them being able to give it to you)
  • Anything relating $$$ in any way with 'goodness'
Instead I want you to plant into your mind these 'flowers' from the 'plant store':
  • Right around the corner, something WONDERFUL is going to happen and my dream is going to come true. Make this a MATERIAL thing, something concrete, and not money.
  • Money is just an energy exchange. Carefully think about their energy, and yours. Don't just take. Exchange something from YOU with something from THEM.
  • Allow the Universe to Bring You what you want through nudges, hunches, and other 'coincidences'.
Here is a conversation my friend who watched the kids said yesterday:
Friend from church, older lady: Is there anything you need or want? What can I give you?
My friend: A million dollars!
The friend from church started reaching in her purse.
My friend, actually THINKING that the lady, who is rich, was going to write her a check, backpedals furiously.
The church friend pulls out a fifty dollar gift card to a local grocery store, and says, 'I never shop there'.

Do you see how this works? There are LOTS of ways to 'manifest' your needs being met without an actual 'paycheck'. 

I have been paying my friend for babysitting ever since she was laid off from work four years ago. I was with her as her 99 weeks ran out. She is living off of child support, and her work with me. She has gone through her savings. Life is difficult. 

She is looking for her boyfriend to 'buy her a house' and 'put money into her bank account'.  She has been offered jobs but they 'were less than what I was making on unemployment'. I supported her choice because I knew her son had special needs, because of a learning disorder, and child care would have eaten up her small paycheck.

If you see those thoughts in your mind, or have an idea of 'what makes those examples tick', you are still locked into third-dimensional mentality.

Try your best each day to look past it. Look into the wonder and delight of the Higher Dimensions. You won't regret it. Like many of my friends, if you are hungry, food will be given to you--from a new friend at a restaurant, from the owner, or from a friend with an unused gift card. Allow the Universe to deliver. All you have to do is think about it, feel the emotions of 'getting what you want', and believe...Look at the people on the stinky cruise ship and how they helped one another in their time of distress. That is a good example also.

Namaste,

Reiki Doc



1 comment:

  1. Thank you. I have been falling into the trap of worrying about money lately, which I know will only make my situation "worse". I needed to read this today. Thank you again.

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