Archangel Haniel has been at it again.
Today at work it was literally 'raining babies'. The Physician Assistant was pregnant. Someone on Facebook showed a new baby niece. It was grandparent's day and someone shared a picture of her new baby granddaughter. All the talk in the OR was of making a registry at Babies R Us, engagements of the latest colleague...all that stuff of Life.
It felt like this--and there was no way to hide from the 'rain'!
When I first woke up, I heard Ross say to me in my half-awake state--'We are healing mirrors for one another'.
I didn't understand it, but it sounded cool, just like most things Ross says to me, when we speak in private.
Anyhow, the work of Archangel Haniel got to me so much, that I went to Mom. Yes, my spirit Mom--she is incarnate. And the rest is a long story--LOL--and Mom has written it! (very inside joke)...
I said, 'Mom? Why is it that I have to heal this? Why is Archangel Haniel PUSHING me? Why does it matter? Who cares how I feel about myself in this way?'
'Mom? Why can't Ross heal me? Or you? I could be embarrassed with you, and let my guard down, and heal it slowly. Why do I need HER? I don't know her from Adam! Does she get a raise or something for helping me? She is like, over eager!'
Mom suggested perhaps it's a woman thing? That's why Ross can't? Perhaps you could explain it and ask for a change?
I was in pre-op holding, keeping track of a conversation between a husband with memory impairment, a patient, a daughter who did NOT have memory impairment, and getting the medical history out of the three so I could come up with an anesthesia plan.
I heard a cough of a baby. I thought it was a patient in the next bay.
Like twenty minutes later--I looked down randomly, and saw the most mellow toddler EVER, chilling in his stroller at the foot of his grandma's bed. He looked at me with those big beautiful blue eyes, and handed me his mom's cell phone.
I asked to take a picture of him with his mom's phone (so I could see him smile).
The family said, 'Tell him to Say Cheese!'. I did, and the effect was delightful--gorgeous dimples!
I let my guard down.
I only do this with kids. With people who are dying. And one other kind of patient...
For some reason, we just 'click'. I don't give any bullshit, and most of the ones who are seriously down and out--HIV and prostitutes--respond well to my care. Usually they tell me a lot more from their heart, and I can feel it. I just love them, and I can't explain why...this has been since medical school...
Recently, I got a patient who I should have asked what drugs didn't you take? Because it would have been a shorter list.
But the name, and the presentation, especially when asleep, reminded me vaguely of St German in one of his incarnations...???
Suddenly I was moved with DEEP compassion.
For in my 'sight' I 'saw' this--the explanation for the drugs
For me, as a healer, I saw an opportunity to heal all dimensions, all timelines, for all drug addicts and prostitutes...this was AFTER I asked Ross, Archangel Michael, Archangel Raphael, and Merlin to help me out because this guy was sure to have so many dark entities and attachments I didn't know what to do?
I was guided by Divine Mother to borrow her Diamond Shield--like taking the family car as a teen and 'borrowing' it--and as I worked, it mixed with my compassion, and I saw a beautiful shimmering orange diamond flame coming out of my hands and going into the timelines.
Then it hit me.
And why I was in so much pain...but Archangel Haniel worked so beautifully to heal me, and only she could and Ross couldn't.
My life with Ross--was like this--we experienced it:
But history--and I am an incarnation of a historical figure--said I was this:
A total whore. A prostitute.
I was an Essene. A spiritual master!
And history wrote me off as not only much, much less than my Beloved--in every way--but they took every gift that was rightfully mine away.
And I believed it.
I'm sorry, but all I want is for Ross to come back.
And for us to go away together.
I wanted to go and run away from my past and build a new life, a Galactic life.
But you can't use The Higher Realms as an escape from a painful past. My many incarnations that followed the original ones, couldn't shake the pain.
I wanted children, lots and lots of children, because in a way, they show others that your relationship with your Beloved is 'legit', and 'holy', in our society...'inside wedlock'.
I wanted to 'undo' all the prostitution and whore 'reputation' with new Life, and Love, and Freedom with Ross in Partnership in the same dimension again...
And for all my being a Twin Soul, I always felt like I was the peel, and Ross was the Orange.
I was stage crew, and I was happy with that.
The little lady in the home.
The 'woman behind every successful man'...for all eternity.
Archangel Haniel didn't allow it.
She shook me up and pushed every button and sent maggots and rats and babies 'falling out of the sky' to push my buttons enough to get me to look at this one with new eyes.
No matter what History has made of me, it is not significant, because I am part of my Star Family, and the Beloved of Ross--all it takes is for me to open up my eyes and SEE it!
I feel better, Archangel Haniel.
For the first time in many, many, many incarnations.
I'm sorry I was so unpleasant and unprofessional.
You are top notch, and a healer in every way.
Aloha and Mahalos,
P.S. This one gave me such comfort I wanted to share it here with you: http://thecreatorwritings.wordpress.com/2014/09/09/the-hurt/