As you may know, I am currently in the process of Reunion with my Illuminated Twin Flame, the 'other half' of my Soul. Together we make one complete Soul. We were part of the 144,000 who came to Earth to experience Duality, and this 'separation' was part of the requirements to come.
We entered the cycles of karma and reincarnation together; we 'volunteered' for this.
I volunteered under Duress.
I did not want to come any more, I was done with my Reincarnations, but my 'Other' talked me into it. I had enough of 'the experiment' and before one of the incarnations, I can recall his basically, begging and convincing me to agree.
I have been angry on a soul level ever since.
Since I am not an angry person by nature, I make the best of the situation and hide it very well. But TWICE we have incarnated 'together', and TWICE he has gotten himself killed trying to 'save the world' against my warning him that is would happen.
Then there have been countless incarnations apart, with more suffering and pain.
For the most part our Reunion has been joyful and rewarding. It is 'across the Veil', and he has shown me how he has been watching me and protecting me. This incarnation is important for me to burn off all of the karma that is holding me back, and to be able to be at his 'rank' if you will for lack of a better term, where he is actively helping others now.
But we are a couple, and we have a relationship to deal with just like every other couple. He is a Galactic, and I am Ground Crew. It is the ultimate test of Long Distance Relationship to be in two different dimensions!
On Friday morning he was wanting to make an 'amend'. He offered for us to live in a house in France, one with a cave. I gasped--this has been my impossible dream, for these homes, humble as they are, due to real estate, are worth millions! But then my anger kicked in. I said, 'no deal--you are not buying me off with this.' He added more: the garden next to the vineyard, a beautiful French roof with the bedrooms with the shutters, a wine tasting room in the cave, a garden next to the home, chickens for eggs, a goat for milk like I have always dreamed, a bicycle to ride to the bakery in town, and a pond in the back where I could swim and paint waterlilies like Monet. I 'caved' with delight and said 'yes' if only we could stay there a good long time! He told me I could go anywhere, traveling by teleportation from there, so I would not miss the beach. And that it would be near the Cisse river.
He even sealed it by playing this song on the radio--he can do that since he is a Galactic. It's not just the song but his energy signature he combines with the song--a pause right before, I feel his energy, and then the song plays with both his energy of Love and the music at the same time in a way only my heart can understand:
Then I read this in the morning when I was between cases. This article threw me for a loop: http://sirianheaven.wordpress.com/2013/12/27/heavenletter-4781-your-passage-across-the-sea-of-life-december-27-2013/
- Our only relationship is with God.
- Twin Souls, Soul Mates, and even Illuminated Twin Flames like us are 'First mates'--we can 'blink at each other' in joyful recognition and then sail off to our separate ways to GROW AS A SOUL and yet the 'LOVE' still remains and can never be broken.
- In fact, love is a 'choice' and it is ours to 'freely give' as we please . This sound a little too 'F&#% Buddy' to me, and NOT the Illuminated TWIN FLAME RELATIONSHIP I had been dreaming of for like, Forever.
And I got depressed. Going without sleep when you are on call makes you weak emotionally. There is no 'reserve'. And I got more and more down on the entire situation.
Yesterday I 'called him on the carpet' and asked my Galactic Twin about it.
Here's my point:
- So--once the Veil is lifted, we are allowed to go anywhere in the Universe. But still, basically, it is a bigger version of this Big Blue Planet where no one can leave, is that correct? (yes, he said)
- AND, since there is no 'Forever Love' but more 'Two Ships That Pass In The Night' I am opening myself up to ANOTHER GOODBYE at some point after I have done all this work to Find YOU??? (yes, again)
- Well, WHY SHOULD I TRY? Just send me back to where I am from, and let me worship God just me and Him then. Let us be done with this Illusion of happiness and Twin Flames and French Houses.
- Existence is POINTLESS, in my eyes, as all it is--is an endless opportunity to 'learn and to grow'. More LESSONS, I HATE LESSONS, they are painful and stupid and bad. Even if you sugar coat them with JOY, they are still LESSONS, and life on earth is a stupid waste of precious time I could have spent actively worshipping God and being HAPPY!
- It got darker from there...he told me to just let him carry me for now. So I did. And I rested.
- His FRIENDS were concerned. He has Galactic friends. One is St. Germain, who gave me a guilty look for my having been Pushed Too Far. I saw all of them sitting next to each other. Their faces were very sad. (They are nice friends, and I can feel they care about both of us)
- I had to drive to the pier to pick up my son, as my sister had arranged for us to meet there. I cried the whole time I drove, in my heartache over the 'lie' of the Twin Flame Reunion; it was no better than a relationship on Earth. There was no magic or fairy tale ending as I had hoped.
- Parking was terrible at the beach, I cried even more.
- At the restaurant, I was an hour late. There was my family in a booth. There was no room for me to sit. I was exhausted (four hours sleep in a gurney, a drive home, four hours restless sleep, a shower, and a drive again.)
- When my family saw what I was like, they were still angry.
- When I explained I MET the surgeon who had procured 'Charlie' (mom got her transplant at UCLA, the team explained this gentleman was most likely the one that took Charlie out of the donor), Mom burst into tears of joy and gratitude. She thanks God every day for Charlie and for 'stomie'--her urostomy--and that they are working and she is alive. She said I was right, the person I had them guess I had met WAS better than a movie star!
- I pulled a chair next to the table, and I ate. I hadn't eaten since I'd been home, and I was hungry.
On the way home my son suggested we stop by Laguna Beach. We have a favorite place to go. I put my feet in the water, and I realized my 'Ask, Believe, Receive' order with my One the night before was very close--instead of paddle boarding, I got to go out on the pier, see a surf contest, and also at another beach, put my feet in the ocean and enjoy the sunset with my toes in the sand. He has said, in spirit, 'hold my hand' as the sun set. I also, beyond my 'request' took many photos. I love taking pictures.
I accepted the 'terms' of Twin Soul Relationship, and the truth of it all. I would rather go with the flow, than resist the 'way things are'. I openly shared my disappointment.
On the drive home, he sent this song:
So even though he is an overachiever in Spirit, and wants to 'go do his thing' to save the Universe, he still wants me to know he cares about us, together, and that even more, my Presence is pleasant and important to him.
Last night, as I was falling asleep, Ashtar came to 'explain' some things to me. I wish I could recall what he said. Part of it was our connection to each other is always intact, but I don't have that bad feeling about the distance with him like I do with my One. Why can't it be like that with my One? My One is a good man, and does not intend to hurt me.
As I woke up this morning, my One came again.
He said, 'I will stay with you for as long as you like until you ask me to go.'
He said, 'The times before you were not allowed to choose. It was my soul development that took precedence, and yours put on hold because of me. I will stay for as long as you need to heal the pain that you have experienced because of my loss in the Illusion. Only when you are Ready, will I go.'
He also explained that he had been trying to bring me honor, and something of value into our relationship by following his soul's calling. He dropped his last incarnation like a red envelope at my feet, and was sad because I did not see the value in it like everyone else did. He finally understood that my heart was the price for this success, and it was taken without my full understanding of the impact it would be. I had agreed to the plan without knowing the price I would pay.
Today he has a surprise for me. 'A nice surprise?' I asked. 'I would enjoy this surprise from you, only if it truly was a nice one and not like the last time when I ended up getting hurt.'
I'll let you know what it is.
The Twin Flame Reunion is one of the most difficult relationships.
Even with a Galactic and when it is across The Veil.
Aloha and Mahalos,
Here are some of the photos from the beach: