Saturday, December 7, 2013

The Jeep And The Couch: Tantric Awareness

My next-door neighbor Jeff lived next to us, this was when I was married to my ex. Jeff lived in a one-bedroom condo, that had a garage to our right that fit one car. Our home was bigger, and had a two-car garage.

Jeff was quiet.
He was also in love with his Jeep and his dog.
The two of them were always out in front of the garage, tending to the Jeep in one way or another, sometimes packing it, sometimes unpacking it, sometimes washing it…It had a plastic liner that would come off so the Jeep could have full sunshine and breeze in the summer.
It was the only vehicle Jeff had.

Jeff was divorced.
It had been painful.
He barely spoke, and would stutter when he would talk to you excitedly about his Jeep.
Otherwise, it was mumbles and short sentences.

Jeff had a girlfriend, another mom, who lived on a neighboring street.
She was smart, and accepted her 'competition'.
I watched her 'work it'. Jeff was a financial guy, and had lots of money.
They married, or rather, 'merged separate lives', around the time my husband and I split.

Jeff's Jeep represented FREEDOM to him: he could go anywhere, anytime he wanted, even off the road.

Freedom is the ultimate energy 'comfort' for the Masculine partner in any committed relationship.

His bride wisely kept Jeff's access to his FREEDOM open wide, in moving the relationship to one where I think he is better off now, and healing his wounds from his ex-wife. (he had custody battles, too, and clearly missed his son very much after the divorce that led to the purchase of Jeep. The two guys used to go camping together often to 'bond'. The woman neighbor came into the picture as the son got older and had other interests.)

This is not easy to share…

One of the peak of my 'irrational' behaviors was when I moved in to my home next to Jeff's. My ex and I got married in January, but I never moved in until March because my schedule was so tight.

My couch wouldn't fit up the stairs into the condominium. And I threw a FIT. I pushed it while the movers were navigating it, I wanted it to fit in my new life so much, and I wouldn't let go of it emotionally, that I made a hole in the wall with the couch that had to be patched up!
The movers looked at me with wide eyes and open mouths. I had no idea where that behavior came from at the time. Now I do…

My first couch was my paren't's Dutch Modern. It was uncomfortable and we had to be careful where heavier family members would sit when we were entertaining. It could break. Mom got a new couch, her dream couch that was expensive, when I was five and my sister was two. It was light grey with big blue flowers embroidered on the back. We lived in fear for spilling on that couch!

It was replaced when I was in the fifth grade with a brown fuzzy one. Even though the wood would hurt your head because there wasn't enough cushion on the arm to support it, I loved that couch and read every day on it after school.

My first couch as a married couple, with my first husband, my college sweetheart, was ugly braided brown, orange, and avocado green. This one was 'furnished' with the apartment, and sagged. We had to be careful when guests came over, and one or the other of us had to sit in the hole and hold ourselves 'up' to protect the guests from sinking in it. (Later he put plywood into it to 'fix' it so everyone could sit).

In medical school, students really need to live in a two bedroom apartment. One for the bed, the other for the office. There is so much to learn. But I couldn't afford it. I was in a one-bedroom in student housing. There was no space for a couch. I had a desk in the living room, a small farm table, and one chair and a tv in the dining area next to the kitchen. There was one balcony, one bathroom, and a washer and dryer. I lived on the second floor. When giving directions to friends, they had to count the speed bumps. Mine was at speed bump number three..LOL.

So intern year, with my first money, I went to Macy's, and bought the most comfortable couch in the store. I tested them by actually laying down on them! I didn't care what it looked like! I wanted a couch to support me and surround me in comfort. The one I bought looked like the picture. I had many 'adventures' on that couch, academic, and amorous, much to my delight. (I once dated three men simultaneously, not seriously, but my second husband was the best of the three.)

This couch was my path to SURRENDER. This is the ultimate energy 'comfort' for the Feminine partner in any committed relationship.

The Feminine partner is filled with energy, creative energy, emotional energy, and her duty is to feel it as it happens, all the way fully, down to every atom in her body, every emotion, every dream…

And it is the Masculine's Divine Role, much like the couch, to Support it and Contain it like the riverbed supports the flowing river. As the river SURRENDERS to the riverbed, the river experiences complete and total joy in Divine Partnership.

This is Tantra at its best: each helping the other experience The Divine.

Tantra is not limited to the bedroom--or even to sex--although it is a major form of expression between the Divine Masculine and the Divine Feminine in all of us.

The French call it 'La Difference'--the difference between masculine and feminine is playful, intriguing mystery that is appreciated by all in their culture.

Reflect on your Divine Nature today. You will know if you are Masculine or Feminine in your heart. If Freedom is your Peace, you are Masculine nature. If Surrender is your Heaven, you are Feminine nature.

Enjoy your Energy 'signature' of the Divine in everything you do, beginning today!

Aloha and Mahalos,

Reiki Doc