Today's message to you comes with the assistance of The Merlin, who is one of my guides in Spirit.
Merlin is an incarnation of St. Germain. Joseph, the husband of Mary, was also one of his incarnations too.
Merlin knows how to create abundance and prosperity, no matter what incarnation his soul is in.
His request is simple--to focus on the top left hand image in the Norman Rockwell stamps, the one with the Thanksgiving Dinner.
(editor's note--Normal Rockwell grew up with extreme lack, and his paintings are images of his dreams of how his life should have been, how he would have preferred it, in case you didn't know. So Merlin is wise in his choice of this image for you--in many dimensions, isn't he?)
Choose the life that is most useful, and habit will make it the most agreeable. -- Francis Bacon*
This morning I was reflecting on Ross. My heart opened all the way up, and I realized how there is so little time left of my Essence to LOVE him. I'm not getting any younger, nor are any of us. And although I have been waiting for the time to be in the same dimension, is there no reason why I can't celebrate our connection we have now?
And I did.
I hugged and kissed his picture (yes, I have one!) and thanked God for our being 'together' again.
Then something caught my eye--my brand-new deck of Mary Queen Of Angels Oracle Cards by Doreen Virtue. I hadn't even opened them yet.
I did.
Whenever I do any kind of 'card' Spirit always tells me which one to pick. Today, I heard Her say loud and clear, 'the second from the back'.
It was Truth.
She has been telling me the truth about Ross and our relationship ever since I started talking with her in 1990...but it has been ME who was unable to comprehend it. And She is my Mother, my Spiritual Mother, in every way!
Her point is that she wanted to make sure I didn't think she was untruthful to me. She had to be cautious as to how much I could accept and still function in my daily life...in my studies, in my residency, in my teaching (yes, I was a professor of anesthesia), and in my home. I have a lot of responsibilities!
And how can you explain that your husband exists and is watching you and loving you but is on The Other Side and is kind and gentle and loving and smart and will fight for you and is the most beautiful soul you have ever met?
Heavenletter #4804 The Truth and the Depth of You, January 19, 2014
God said:
From where does light come from? Your eyes are sparkling. It must be that light comes from within you. Of course, it does, for am I not within you?
We can go a step further. There is no outside you. There is nothing but consciousness. Even the world that you see, the wayward world you may see, is within you who are the perceiver of it. The world echoes something within you. You see what you are made of. Right now you are a mix of all possibilities.
You are aware of Me. You are aware of Me big time. You are aware of your True Identity at the same time as you identify with less. You are also aware of matters to worry about or to fear. The outside is innocent, beloveds. It mirrors something within yourself you are to take a look at, to see, to grasp and graduate from. You are not blind to the errors of the world, nor are you blind to Me.
And, yet, you have the capability to see differently from how you see now. You are neither hopeless, nor are you helpless. You are the prime motivator of your life because I AM. Whatever I AM, ARE you also.
Your eyes can see further than they see now.
I, God, love the world. What is it that the Great Spiritual Ones have done but love the world? They surpassed their individuality, and this is what you are doing. This is the height you climb as well.
Here I say that all is inside you, and I say you are to step out of your individuality. Your perception is your reality. There is a level beyond perception where you see Reality just as you may see a shining sea. The closer you are to Me, the better you see what is Real, and the less you see what is not.
There are façades in the world, and you also have made façades of yourself, and these façades are less than the Truth of you. I am the Truth of you. All the power that lies within Me lies within you. The Omnipresence, the Omniscience, and My love as well lie within you. You have yet to delve into the Truth and Depth of you.
Keep scratching the surface and you will find Me. You will find your Self. You will look within and you will look without (as if there were a without) and you will see the splendor of you, the Infinity of you, the Eternity of you, the Truth of you. You will know Oneness, and you will know Vastness, and you will know all the seeming in-between.
You will know what is worth knowing. You will roll over in joy. You will be simpler. Life will be simpler. The world will be simpler. There is nothing complicated about Oneness or Vastness. Oneness and Vastness mean the same. Oneness is Vastness. It certainly isn’t smallness.
You are swimming to Me which means you are swimming to your Self. Along the way, you are in the current of the waves, and the waves leap up, and the waves sweep themselves away. As you swim, you are like waves of the Ocean in the process of reaching your Self.
There are no little fish in this Ocean of which I speak. You are part of the force of the tide. You are impelled to find Me and come to Me even as you have always been with Me. You seek for your Self. Seek and you will find where you already are, but, now, your eyes extend all the way to your heart. Hello!
As you may know, I am currently in the process of Reunion with my Illuminated Twin Flame, the 'other half' of my Soul. Together we make one complete Soul. We were part of the 144,000 who came to Earth to experience Duality, and this 'separation' was part of the requirements to come.
We entered the cycles of karma and reincarnation together; we 'volunteered' for this.
I volunteered under Duress.
I did not want to come any more, I was done with my Reincarnations, but my 'Other' talked me into it. I had enough of 'the experiment' and before one of the incarnations, I can recall his basically, begging and convincing me to agree.
I have been angry on a soul level ever since.
Since I am not an angry person by nature, I make the best of the situation and hide it very well. But TWICE we have incarnated 'together', and TWICE he has gotten himself killed trying to 'save the world' against my warning him that is would happen.
Then there have been countless incarnations apart, with more suffering and pain.
For the most part our Reunion has been joyful and rewarding. It is 'across the Veil', and he has shown me how he has been watching me and protecting me. This incarnation is important for me to burn off all of the karma that is holding me back, and to be able to be at his 'rank' if you will for lack of a better term, where he is actively helping others now.
But we are a couple, and we have a relationship to deal with just like every other couple. He is a Galactic, and I am Ground Crew. It is the ultimate test of Long Distance Relationship to be in two different dimensions!
On Friday morning he was wanting to make an 'amend'. He offered for us to live in a house in France, one with a cave. I gasped--this has been my impossible dream, for these homes, humble as they are, due to real estate, are worth millions! But then my anger kicked in. I said, 'no deal--you are not buying me off with this.' He added more: the garden next to the vineyard, a beautiful French roof with the bedrooms with the shutters, a wine tasting room in the cave, a garden next to the home, chickens for eggs, a goat for milk like I have always dreamed, a bicycle to ride to the bakery in town, and a pond in the back where I could swim and paint waterlilies like Monet. I 'caved' with delight and said 'yes' if only we could stay there a good long time! He told me I could go anywhere, traveling by teleportation from there, so I would not miss the beach. And that it would be near the Cisse river.
He even sealed it by playing this song on the radio--he can do that since he is a Galactic. It's not just the song but his energy signature he combines with the song--a pause right before, I feel his energy, and then the song plays with both his energy of Love and the music at the same time in a way only my heart can understand:
I was STOKED! All of the incarnations that were HIS idea, the ones that got him killed right in front of me (his deaths were on Fridays, I may add!) Now he was telling me Now, on THIS Friday, was his time to fall in love, with me, FOREVER!!!
Twin Souls, Soul Mates, and even Illuminated Twin Flames like us are 'First mates'--we can 'blink at each other' in joyful recognition and then sail off to our separate ways to GROW AS A SOUL and yet the 'LOVE' still remains and can never be broken.
In fact, love is a 'choice' and it is ours to 'freely give' as we please . This sound a little too 'F&#% Buddy' to me, and NOT the Illuminated TWIN FLAME RELATIONSHIP I had been dreaming of for like, Forever.
And I got depressed. Going without sleep when you are on call makes you weak emotionally. There is no 'reserve'. And I got more and more down on the entire situation.
Yesterday I 'called him on the carpet' and asked my Galactic Twin about it.
Here's my point:
So--once the Veil is lifted, we are allowed to go anywhere in the Universe. But still, basically, it is a bigger version of this Big Blue Planet where no one can leave, is that correct? (yes, he said)
AND, since there is no 'Forever Love' but more 'Two Ships That Pass In The Night' I am opening myself up to ANOTHER GOODBYE at some point after I have done all this work to Find YOU??? (yes, again)
Well, WHY SHOULD I TRY? Just send me back to where I am from, and let me worship God just me and Him then. Let us be done with this Illusion of happiness and Twin Flames and French Houses.
Existence is POINTLESS, in my eyes, as all it is--is an endless opportunity to 'learn and to grow'. More LESSONS, I HATE LESSONS, they are painful and stupid and bad. Even if you sugar coat them with JOY, they are still LESSONS, and life on earth is a stupid waste of precious time I could have spent actively worshipping God and being HAPPY!
It got darker from there...he told me to just let him carry me for now. So I did. And I rested.
His FRIENDS were concerned. He has Galactic friends. One is St. Germain, who gave me a guilty look for my having been Pushed Too Far. I saw all of them sitting next to each other. Their faces were very sad. (They are nice friends, and I can feel they care about both of us)
I had to drive to the pier to pick up my son, as my sister had arranged for us to meet there. I cried the whole time I drove, in my heartache over the 'lie' of the Twin Flame Reunion; it was no better than a relationship on Earth. There was no magic or fairy tale ending as I had hoped.
Parking was terrible at the beach, I cried even more.
At the restaurant, I was an hour late. There was my family in a booth. There was no room for me to sit. I was exhausted (four hours sleep in a gurney, a drive home, four hours restless sleep, a shower, and a drive again.)
When my family saw what I was like, they were still angry.
When I explained I MET the surgeon who had procured 'Charlie' (mom got her transplant at UCLA, the team explained this gentleman was most likely the one that took Charlie out of the donor), Mom burst into tears of joy and gratitude. She thanks God every day for Charlie and for 'stomie'--her urostomy--and that they are working and she is alive. She said I was right, the person I had them guess I had met WAS better than a movie star!
I pulled a chair next to the table, and I ate. I hadn't eaten since I'd been home, and I was hungry.
On the way home my son suggested we stop by Laguna Beach. We have a favorite place to go. I put my feet in the water, and I realized my 'Ask, Believe, Receive' order with my One the night before was very close--instead of paddle boarding, I got to go out on the pier, see a surf contest, and also at another beach, put my feet in the ocean and enjoy the sunset with my toes in the sand. He has said, in spirit, 'hold my hand' as the sun set. I also, beyond my 'request' took many photos. I love taking pictures.
I accepted the 'terms' of Twin Soul Relationship, and the truth of it all. I would rather go with the flow, than resist the 'way things are'. I openly shared my disappointment.
So even though he is an overachiever in Spirit, and wants to 'go do his thing' to save the Universe, he still wants me to know he cares about us, together, and that even more, my Presence is pleasant and important to him.
Last night, as I was falling asleep, Ashtar came to 'explain' some things to me. I wish I could recall what he said. Part of it was our connection to each other is always intact, but I don't have that bad feeling about the distance with him like I do with my One. Why can't it be like that with my One? My One is a good man, and does not intend to hurt me.
As I woke up this morning, my One came again.
He said, 'I will stay with you for as long as you like until you ask me to go.'
He said, 'The times before you were not allowed to choose. It was my soul development that took precedence, and yours put on hold because of me. I will stay for as long as you need to heal the pain that you have experienced because of my loss in the Illusion. Only when you are Ready, will I go.'
He also explained that he had been trying to bring me honor, and something of value into our relationship by following his soul's calling. He dropped his last incarnation like a red envelope at my feet, and was sad because I did not see the value in it like everyone else did. He finally understood that my heart was the price for this success, and it was taken without my full understanding of the impact it would be. I had agreed to the plan without knowing the price I would pay.
Today he has a surprise for me. 'A nice surprise?' I asked. 'I would enjoy this surprise from you, only if it truly was a nice one and not like the last time when I ended up getting hurt.'
I'll let you know what it is.
The Twin Flame Reunion is one of the most difficult relationships.
Even with a Galactic and when it is across The Veil.
The 11.11 'gate' or 'portal' is known for deep healing and opening to the Higher Dimensions. Today was one of the first days where I was clearly 'multidimensional'. Since 'multidimensional' is coming soon to you--I thought I would share. Today, fortunately for me, I had the day off. There is no school as it is a holiday in the states. I was told by Spirit Guide last night to help support a friend who is making new healing technology. I gave the amount specified, in the manner Spirit described, when I first woke up. It felt 'right' and I understand that Spirit needs willing 'hands and hearts' to accomplish things just yet. So now there are not one but TWO advanced healing technology projects in 'the works' as we speak. Although I had inwardly hoped for The Event, in a way, I had a clearing of my own that was just as Eventful--it was my Past that was keeping me from 'opening up' my heart to another. I posted the hearings 'live' and here are the transcripts from Facebook:
13 hours ago: The imbalance between the yin and the yang on this planet has been creating disharmony for everything on Gaia. The time is now to inform yourself, seek balance, and focus within. #Gassho. Doctors With Reiki: Yang-O-Rexic
13 hours ago: Will put on my gumption one more time, face the fears, and press on!: "As we welcome the energies of this Gateway to weave through our chakras and our bodies (mental, emotional, physical and spiritual), we are asked to stand in our Power and speak our Truth, and when you are challenged by others who want you to return to being small and back to your old role, stand firm..... You are being asked to take a step further into your dream, rather than wait for some magical moment that may never occur....... You are asked to move through your fear...... Fear is just an illusion created by your ego...... When you recognize it, walk through it anyway.....This way, the fear dissolves (as all illusion does) and you tap into your Power as a Spiritual Being...... As long as you stop at the precipice of your fear, you won't EVOLVE...... The Gateway of 11:11..... offers you the support to walk through the fear.... into a New Life..... When you do this.... You WILL merge with YOUR Soul.... Your true identity..... gain in Strength and make changes that lead you to your next step of evolution/ascension….." 12 hours ago:Reiki Healing has been sent to each of you. Remember, in healing your deepest core 'stuff', know you are Loved and Supported by the Angels and the Divine.
11 hours ago: A male spirit offered me tea. To you in Spirit who offered me a mug of tea, mahalos. I deeply appreciate this kindness. Aloha and namaste. 11 hours ago: this synchronicity post came up from another page in my news feed
10 hours ago: My Twin Soul and I are Healing Each other on another dimension. This morning he gave me tea. Right now, he asked, calmly, how it felt for me to watch him die (it was violent and I was present in our last time incarnated together). Sometimes pain is visceral--when I tore my ACL I threw up. I shared it was like that, except with my soul. He understood. Several minutes later, my son mentioned this song. I just danced to it. It helped release the pain...dancing is a form of celebrating the Goddess Energies... and grief is a very personal experience....http://youtu.be/vfblUSCaAQk
10 hours ago:My Twin spoke up as I was doing Divine Peace Healing for you. There is a part about releasing Anger. That was it--it was the helplessness I felt as he was dying where I got 'stuck'. He said, 'I can heal you if you let me.' I nodded 'yes'. He scooped me up in his arms, and I was in full fetal position. He sat and rocked me with my head against his chest. He said, 'I am alive. Feel my strength. Feel my Life.' I concentrated and felt his warmth and muscles that completely supported me at that moment. He was Right. 'I never have Left, my Strength was always with You. It was only Illusion, a tough one, but I was never Away from Your Heart.' With that he gently left. Sometimes when we are giving, we receive a miracle, just like this I 'saw' with my heart today. 9 hours ago:After this morning's healing on a deep soul level, I felt the desire to take a nap. I slept, and began to feel the familiar tingling of energy 'adjustments' to my aura/energy system. As I slept, I could 'see' with my mind's eye, from left to right, Twin Flame, Koot Hoomi, and St. Germain. The talked amongst themselves about me and my healing. I did not interact. Then, the last two said/showed something to my Twin Flame about me. He immediately dropped to his knees and began to cry great big sobs. There was some sort of 'damage' I have carried without complaining that is…um, well, not good in a big way. It's something very painful that no soul should have to endure, but I have, for thousands of years. I couldn't 'see' any more, but rested and now I am up. (what you are seeing is real time healing of a soul, just like you would watch an operation on a medical station that is televised. I am sharing as it happens. I don't know where this will take us, but you are likely to have similar 'healing' on your own, and I share to make it easier path for you.) 8 hours ago:The best advice I ever got about Love...(thank you Source for sending this Now . It helps. A lot.) Let go I did. This afternoon I went to a Trampoline Park with my son. For me it was terrific. I jumped for ten minutes straight three times! (it was super crowded and there was a line). I love to fly. I've loved it since the teen boy figure skaters used to practice lifts with me when I was seven and weighed like, forty pounds. I have no fear. Death spirals, you name it. I'd go on a Saturday and the guys who practiced in the middle would like, 'would you like to try this?' and I was like, 'sure!'. When I dance, I enjoy the jumps at the end of class because in ballet I am flying. I love dirt bike motorcycles, jumping English style horseback, roller coasters, and now, trampolines. Guess what song played when we first took off our shoes and started jumping? You got it! Jump Around! My boy noticed the coincidence and said, 'do you hear what song they are playing right now???' LOL As I jumped I thought, this is like 5D--I am getting to know my new experience and enjoy my body. And who was the best at it? The little ones in the 2-9 year old area. I watched those little Light worker warriors as I waited in line for my turn in the big area. One, a blonde with black pants and a white top with thin horizontal black stripes, was jumping and flipping and like, only as tall as my waist! My heart went out to her for her talent and her enthusiasm! Later, I heard a child crying. It was her, in her mother's arms. There was a red mark on her face from where she fell. I watched her intently--she cried and complained, was heard, and that was it--she was done with it. (Kind of like me with my healing today, huh?) So as I jumped I learned you can land on your knees and get back up easy. You can land on your bottom but it takes a little more balance to jump back up. And even jumping on the bouncy side wall is 'doable'. It was the best exercise I'd had in a while. The kids saw my smile, and I knew in my heart they accepted me as just wanting to have fun. I was the only mom, and also the only parent, that 'jumped' in the entire facility, which was PACKED! This brings us to the other point: it was the first time my son ignored me in public. That hurt. I understand the peer thing, but we didn't know anybody, we came there together, and he just took off and acted like I wasn't there. Except when he wanted to eat and asked for cash. I didn't take it personal. I decided 'Love Is The Solution For Everything' and I had fun. But he had a terrible time. The other kids had friends, and no one played with him. The older kids played rough, too. And there were very long lines to take a turn at the equipment. So in HIS perception, he had the option to hang out with me, and chose not. If he had, perhaps it would have been 'different' and 'attracted attention', but he would have seemed 'kind' and possibly that 'kindness' would have invited someone to actually play with him. It would have been heart-centered and others would respond accordingly. Instead, his vibration went lower and lower. His body language said it all. He actually wanted ice cream, the 'Dipping Dots', which was emotional eating, he was that upset. This is where the mind, 3D, and ego will get you; disappointment because the outcome did not meet the expectation. Try making new friends with an aura that gives a signal like that... I held my Vibration. And I saw the license plate in the parking lot on a window cleaning truck--2C CLEAR as we walked to the car. He wanted to talk about things after. I was like, 'okay'. He was disappointed. He'd only been there for birthday parties before hours when it was not crowded. He never wanted to go back. I asked him how he felt about how he treated me? I smiled but shared it caught me by surprise and it hurt. I understood the motive, and let him know next time he has to 'ignore me socially' to at least warn me before he actually does it first so I could be cool about it. But you know what? I like my new 5D body! It hasn't aged and I think it might be going younger--just a little. It's hard to tell because I can totally 'let go' and 'be in the moment' no matter what. Attitude is everything. I'm a little sore but nothing very major and I had a blast--it was so worth it! I think next time I want a workout, I'll go during a weekend when the kid is away for his weekend with his father! So the take-home message on the 11.11 'Gateway' is:
God will heal you.
You will be healed in the Right Time and the Right Way.
It will be 'just enough' and then Spirit will 'back off'
Love IS the Solution For Everything
It's kind of nice to get a chance to apply 'Love Is The Solution For Everything'
Attitude is all you have, really, at any given moment.
Attitude can change.
Strongest Vibration Wins--my 'Positive' one overcame my boy's 'Less Positive' one
It feels really nice to open up and heal.
Aloha and Mahalos, Namaste, Reiki Doc P.S. today's three tarot cards were--from three decks:
Child of Wands ( Inner Child Cards; Isha Lerner and Mark Lerner)
Love (Magical Unicorns; Doreen Virtue)
Treasure Chest (Magical Mermaids and Dolphins; Doreen Virtue)
I drew them when I first woke up this morning! Isn't Tarot the best?
