Friday, May 3, 2013

All My Wishes

Chateau Amboise

When I was sixteen, I was taking my first French classes in High School. I was also working at Disneyland. When a French couple came to my window at Tomorrowland Terrace, I took their order in French. As I was closing for my shift, the couple came to my window, which was closed. They knocked on the window, and I opened it. They gave me their address, and invited me to come visit them any time.

I was poor. So I wrote. We became pen pals. Whenever a letter from 'The French People' came I would run around the house so very excited. Over the years we exchanged gifts. 

I did not see them again until I graduated from medical school. I was on the train, and the family (now) met me with a bouquet of carnations. They were orange. I had on my rain coat, and ran to see them. It was like a movie.

The reason that this all happened, is because in taking their order, I asked them where they live. In the Loire Valley. I said it was my dream to visit the chateaux sur Loire (the castles). 

Sometimes it seems like it is the last dream I had to come true that wasn't in some way a nightmare.
Marriages, pregnancy, and medical school were dreams that some how had something lost in the translation, and ended up as divorce, single motherhood, and working on nights/holidays/weekends and giving up practically everything else I used to enjoy. I enjoyed being a wife, a mother, and a doctor as much as I could; but the 'magic I expected' was not up to expectation at all.

Today with Spirit, I got the feeling that Someone was Listening to my wishes and dreams, after all...

I got off work early, and wanted to go to the beach. Once in the car, I felt 'go to Au Lac'.
Are you sure?
Yes. Just go in. Don't say anything to anybody. Let them come to you.

I actually prayed outside the front door, and offered this up to God and the Highest Good.

I planned to sit by myself at the counter and expect nothing, just accept whatever arrives. 

Spirit told me what to eat--a chimichurri and a chocoholic.

As the chocoholic arrived, I commented to myself, 'you will do ANYTHING for chocolate, now, won't you?'

But it was okay. One of the servers who wants to learn Reiki found me. I actually gave her Deeksha Oneness Blessing, too. This is Amber.

HE showed up out of nowhere, gave me a hug, and asked with his lips (he doesn't speak), 'Are you going tonight?'

I was like, 'What?' I thought it was over, and had been on Wednesday. He handed me the flyer.

Spirit wanted me to go.
I wanted to have a quiet night at home. I have call coming up.

I got out the pendulum. 
You and your son need to go. 

Okay.

We ate and showered and got there a half hour late. I saw HIM hugging someone sexy and fled for the lecture. He hugs everybody. But I don't have to see some freaking model skinny as a toothpick in his arms. Spirit, I did NOT sign up for that!

I knew we had to see a little of the presentation. Spirit wanted us to go. The energy in the lecture hall was bizarre. I had placed a golden bubble of protection around the place, and allowed only the highest vibration to come in, while I was in the bathroom after lunch. I do all my Spirit work in the women's room, the one with the pair of melons on the door. For some reason, it 'works' better 'there' than anywhere else. It's like it's right to Source.

I went to Berkeley. I know street people. I know hippies. I know hipsters. These were all of the above, in appearance, but well-off and well-fed. I picked up a 'chemical' vibe along with sincere hearts 'seeking'. 

We found a seat next to Amber. There were two Ambers and two with my first name near each other, and one more Amber who organized the event.

My son was like, 'I WANT to GO!' I stayed some, but he left to order smoothie, and came back only to want to buy a fragrance necklace like mine. (At art class all the kids discovered mine, and all the seven year-olds and eight-year olds ended up smelling like Chakra. I also use mine as a pendulum, so the girls were learning their 'swings' and the boys were trying it too. Good thing it's an 'open minded' school! Now he wants to have one!)

As I handed my credit card and gave my okay to him and Chef for the purchase, my best friend, the owner, saw me, and gave me a big hug. She invited us to eat with her and her daughter. 

One of my wishes is to have dinner with more than just the two of us. It was warm, delicious, inviting, and pleasant. 

One of my other wishes is for my boy to eat healthy. He ATE the food and asked for green smoothie. 

HE came an watched the YouTube my boy was sharing with the daughter. He laughed. He put his arm around my son. The warmth of that moment was something I dared not to let myself dream possible--it was one of those wishes your heart makes even though you know it is impossible. 

I could barely look up.

Then the weirdest thing happened. The tattoo on his ring finger, a circle with a cross in it and I think a letter B, 'connected' to my attention. It was more than my eyes. It energetically 'winked' at me and made its 'presence' known, much to my surprise! He caught me trying to process it, looked at me quick, and looked down at the YouTube.

Then he got up and picked up a baby. This place never has them and now that makes TWO in one day.

He calms them, like me. She was happy. And my son made her smile. 

He walked around with the baby, enjoying her. 

I could never dream of such love and acceptance, such warmth,  ever coming to me. Not like it did tonight.

I have a secret. You know how some people binge and purge with food? I am like that with Love--you need it to live, just like with food, but for some reason it never could 'work'. In the O.R. to keep our gas lines and supplies safe, we have a 'pin-index' system. Only an oxygen pin can connect to an oxygen port on  the wall or the machine. The line for Air has a different pin. It is impossible to connect it. The same goes for Nitrous. I felt like I had a pin from god-only-knows-where, and it never 'fit'. But I kept trying. I never gave up, except perhaps, deep inside after all my struggles, I experienced doubt.

The events of today, including the Spirit is Having Fun with me post, and its being written when it was, give me a sense that 'it's okay now'. My wishes that I could not even utter, the deepest ones in my heart, were right across the table from me today. I am so full of gratitude words fail to describe it.

Spirit heard. And Spirit is working with me to show me everything is going to be okay. And it's not just with HIM. It's with everything, and He is the icing on the cake. 

I can't believe it is happening to me.

Aloha and I love you, 
Thanks so much for listening to my heart--and taking the interest to read on it.

Namaste,

Reiki Doc


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