It seems like lately there is an interest in anesthesiologists--almost as if there is one more post on that sign post, that points to the right and says 'anesthesia' on it.
The other night at dinner, my boy and I had the following conversation:
kid: Mom, you don't actually DO the surgeries. You just give the DRUGS so they can do them, right?
mom: Yes, that's pretty much how it works?
kid: Mom? Do you give them HEROIN?
mom: (surprised) Well actually there is no clinical use for Heroin. But what I do is have access to the strongest drugs in the hospital in that family--morphine, dilaudid, fentanyl, demerol, remifentanil, and duramorph--and give them to my patients so they don't have pain in surgery. I have a little key I wear around my neck, and I have a lock box full of these drugs that only anesthesia has access to at all times. Nobody else in the hospital can give them in the way we do. As a matter of fact, every time I write orders in the hospital electronic system, I have to justify what I am giving and why because it is so much. Anesthesia physicians are the only ones in the hospital who are trusted with these very potent medications. (well, CRNA's too)
kid: (gets bored and changes the subject)
I Wanna Be Sedated by The Ramones
We my boy wasn't the only one who wanted to know what I do--my Twin Flame wanted to come to my work the other day.
Ross is in Spirit, across The Veil, and is a Galactic. I clarified because I know he is always able to watch me, and was not sure why he needed to be present but I gave my consent.
I didn't even notice him there, his Presence. Just a little bit, from time to time, far off in the back. That was cool--that he was interested in what I do, and also that he knew how to observe and not be like some of the non-medical 'observers' who job-shadow you, ask too many questions, and get in the way...I love those students but sometimes they don't 'get it' that you have someone's life in your hands, and that you really have to pick the time to talk to them because you have to pay attention to your patient, you know?
Here is what Ross saw:
- The Surprise--An LMA did not seat right. The patient desaturated on induction, but after I had taken off the gloves. I had to give my team directions on how to assist me as I put on a new pair of gloves, took the LMA out, put in an oral airway, and masked the patient using two-man mask ventilation and coaching the nurse who was squeezing the bag the whole time. That LMA went in FINE, just like it does every day, there was no reason for this to happen and it couldn't have happened at the worst possible time (when I thought everything was 'okay'). But I handled it with confidence and fast action and faster thinking, and the patient did okay.
- The Angel--the little old lady who did something less than three people have ever done in the O.R.--she gave ME advice on a soul level as I got into the aura and did Reiki on my patient. God is going to have a healing for YOU. She smiled and said as she stood in Spirit to the right of the surgeon as he worked, from my view at the head of the table. The loving confidence in her tones was as touching as the message itself. I checked on her in PACU later, like I always do to make sure people who are to go home after surgery are ready. She smiled at me, and assured me everything was fine. Instinctively I reached out and touched her gently on the head--I could feel the curls in her perm a little crunchy--and said, 'You are ready to go now, as much as we would like to keep you here with us...' with pure unconditional Love and Gratitude in my heart. She smiled as only a human angel can smile, and relaxed because I let her know she was loved and appreciated for being our patient.
- The Guy With The Scary Airway--the surgeon had no concept of the danger that was presented by the history of radiation to the neck. He was working on a different part of the body. But I spent a long time in pre-op interviewing this patient, making 'chit-chat' but at the same time seriously examining everything to make sure the anesthetic plan was going to work and going to be safe. It was, and everything went on beautifully.
- The Tragedy--fortunately, this case of 'getting one last good thing' out of someone who is going to die from overwhelming disease went to a colleague. They took my OR, and I had to go down the hall to an open one for my next case in my lineup.
- The Life-Changing Neurological Injury--This is a survivor of serious life-threatening injury, who has been severely incapacitated as a result. The mind is sharp, but the rest of the body is very impaired in its functioning. The talk in Pre-Op Holding was the most important part of this case. Patients with this condition are trained to 'direct their care'. It was almost like we were interviewing each other for a job! I was able to demonstrate my knowledge and confidence with handling the anesthesia for this condition, and also led the team in the O.R. to deliver the highest possible care to this patient who was having a different surgery that was not related to the injury. I saw the look in the care-giving spouse's face that the 'nightmare was over' on the anesthesia part for the surgery. That look was one of the most rewarding things I have ever experienced in all of my years taking care of patients in the hospital.
- The Fighter--This was a first--the patient woke up on time, but didn't like the breathing tube. I removed it, and the patient didn't like the oral airway. I took it out. They were clearly awake. Then the patient didn't like the oxygen mask from the circuit, and started to grab at my wrists to take the mask off. But the patient didn't breathe as they fought the oxygen. They turned BLUE. Again I directed my team, but the struggle between all of us and the blue patient was physical. There were three of us and we were losing against the patient. So something inside me said, 'F%*# it', and I reached to the anesthesia gas on the circuit and cranked it all the way up. 'You are going BACK to sleep!' and in three breaths (that's how long it takes when it is cranked all the way up), this patient was relaxed and calm and normal pink color again in no time. The second emergence from anesthesia was smoother. A little help was needed in recovery room to get this one to breathe and not fight, but it wasn't like before. The patient could listen and with loud reminders, take a deep breath. Clearly this one had undiagnosed obstructive sleep apnea--the behavior was classic--and also some sort of anxiety disorder that could have used medical treatment.
Ross was very quiet, and observing all, without my really being aware of it. It wasn't until I was catching up on my billing slips that I began to see more of myself and my anesthesia skills I have amassed over the years in practice--the diseases of my patients had included unstable chest pain, atrial fibrillation, multiple sclerosis, quadriplegia, angioedema to dilaudid, cancer, morbid obesity, chronic pain, broken bones, gynecology issues, kidney stones that get lodged in the ureter, even a broken odontoid (look that bone up! And the surgery for it. It's a trip!)...
It was as if I looked at myself for the first time, and saw how much I enjoy helping people and how much I add to the clinical care with my skills and knowledge and fast intervention when problems come up.
Then I felt Ross!
I also noticed the Love of my coworkers for me, and their noticing my new Happiness because of Ross. They don't know about him, but it shows...and they ask why I am in such a good mood and so happy.
The surgeon with the back pain who is getting the daily distance Reiki treatments, same as all of you, noticed a significant improvement in her back pain within one week of her asking for Reiki.
Profile of An Angel--Mama Flor
Mama Flor is a feisty Latina who is not even five feet tall. She brings much love and Light to the O.R., and she is very much loved. For example, she talks to St. Jude about me, and lights candles and gave me her rosary to wear around my neck, until my thyroid situation is 'all cleared up'. (there were two masses, one large enough to need to be removed, but benign, and the other, looks not so good but was too small to test with a needle. I need to follow up with my ENT, but the holidays made a delay.)
She told me, in private, that she is retiring soon. The people at social security told her, 'Wow! Congratulations!' They explained she had worked fifty years straight, with no time between jobs or drawing any benefits early. She was going to have a nice income after she retires.
Flor said, 'I am going to enjoy my money before I die.'
Here is the story she told the O.R. earlier in the day, much to our delight...
She was new to the hospital and was working upstairs. She was in a patient room, and was trying to lift something to clean in the room. She didn't realize it was a commode, with a bedpan full of pee and poop in it. She felt resistance, and she lifted. She lifted hard. And then next she new, the bedpan splashed all over her, from head to toe, with pee and poop.
She jumped immediately into the shower and was crying and washing herself off, right there in the patient's room.
Her supervisor came looking for her.
Supervisor to patient: Where is Housekeeping?
Patient: In the shower.
Supervisor has a look of shock: Why is THAT?
Patient: It doesn't look good.
Supervisor looks in the shower: Flor? Why are you there?
Flor, in tears: Don't make me explain what happened just look at the floor and that explains everything!
Supervisor: Oh my God, Flor! What can I do?
Flor: Please get me a clean uniform. Please get me some mouthwash and a toothbrush because it went in my mouth. Please go to OB and get me the underwear because mine is all wet.
Her supervisor got her all of those things, and Flor wore her wet bra underneath.
Isn't this like like of earth? The experience of Duality? The shock and horror of the density of being in 3D, with time, and competition, and unclear truth? http://heavenletters.org/slaying-the-dragon.html
It makes you feel like you are covered in human wastes!
Yes Flor got clean. She learned. And it never happened again. Plus, her supervisor and patient were sympathetic to her plight.
The moral of the story is this: no matter what you experience on Earth, in your Life, you will be cleaned and made fresh and comfortable as if nothing unpleasant ever happened when all is said and done...
Aloha and Mahalos,
P.S. For two days now Blessed Mother has been telling me 'You will have a miracle that you never expected would happen. You will have a healing that you never did expect!'
I am like, 'I know I belong to Ross and I am happy! How can there BE any more miracle than that???'
When I find out I'll let you know. <3
P.P.S. With one of those patients I removed an archon and sent it to the Galactic Central Sun. Poof!