Happy Birthday Nana. Today would have been your ninetieth birthday, but yesterday was your birthday in Heaven.
My niece Lauren was so sweet she made a birthday card and changed the day to yesterday so nana 'officially' made it to ninety. I placed that note in her hand, as my niece was too scared to come see the body.
Nana had a good death.
In medicine, there are 'good' ways to die that are relatively painless and easier on the body--nana had renal failure and sepsis (overwhelming infection). Lung disease deaths are one of the more uncomfortable ways to go. Cancer is in-between. I highly recommend hospice, especially 'bedside' hospice during the actively dying process. Hospice is helpful to prepare in advance, and also Death Midwivery is a new field of compassion to assist in this part of the circle of Life.
How I Helped Nana In The Physical:
I am a doctor. I've seen death many times before. I cleared my schedule on Saturday, and spent all day with my doctor's eyes and ears evaluating her. Early dying had begun. I agreed with hospice consultation, and spoke at length with the nurse about the psychosocial issues in the family unit (they are complex) and coordinated all of the needs for Nana.
I also gave comfort by doing cooling measures for the fever, touching nana's hair (she liked my stroking her head gently), and wetting her mouth and lips. I rubbed lotion on her, and sang her the very same lullabies she had once sung to me. They are Sicilian, and have a space at the end for the name of the baby. I added the names of every family member as I sang chorus after chorus of the song. She smiled, and her eyebrows raised and moved with interest, as each person's name came up.
After nana passed, I straightened up the gown and sheets, combed her hair, and placed her hands on the covers in a natural position. I closed her mouth, but the wrinkles looked unnatural, and decided for her to keep it open for the family. I also took the nasal cannula oxygen off.
How I helped Nana in The Mental:
Nana clearly did not know she was dying. She was confused at the start because she was hungry and feeling awful. The bulk of the work I did on her behalf was being next to her, not leaving, and reassuring her every time she woke up that I was there and it was going to be okay and she was going to feel better.
I also explained every treatment that was given, and why. She had once wanted to be a schoolteacher, but was never allowed to complete her education past the sixth grade. A lot of my intelligence comes from her, and I respected her ability to understand. Although her memory was not functioning due to her Alzheimer's, she was 'in there' till the very end, and I spoke to her as such.
How I helped Nana in The Emotional:
Our family is dysfunctional. Let me make that with capital letters--DYSFUNCTIONAL. I won't go into the story, but I will let you know I actively made sure she was exposed to a minimum of discomfort from people in the family who could not step aside enough to put her needs first. With diplomacy and tact, I gently invited others to 'take a rest' and 'come back later'. This was fair because no one knew how long it would take, although the nurses said, 'soon'.
When she lost her gag reflex as I was suctioning her, I texted my sister and let her know nana was unconscious (just like in the O.R.) We arranged a time for her to come back.
I also let nana know what time I had to leave for work, and that she wouldn't be alone after, more were coming. I let her pick the time to 'go' herself; I left briefly to use the restroom, and I hoped she wouldn't take the time then to 'pass'. Thankfully, she was still breathing when I came back.
How I helped Nana in the Spiritual:
My sister agreed to The Last Rites. I was surprised at how much it moved me while the priest was giving them. I filmed it. (I actually took many photos, which will mean so much to me after she is buried. The ones I have of dad comfort me to this day...)
I also gave Reiki. Nana was catholic turned jihovaah wittnes (they routinely check the internet, and that's why I mis-spelled it. I don't want a comment from an official member. Not here.) So I put it in the water for her washclothes I used to cool her. Just so she could 'soak it up' but 'not get a huge dose' and keep the permission thing okay.
How I helped Nana in The Angelic Plane:
Let me be candid--there are a lot of things I do in Spirit that might not 'match' the human 'job description'.
- early on I negotiated with Blessed Mother and my Twin Flame for an easy Transition
- I met nana's guardian angel, Ahrene, and spoke with her
- I kept the energy in the room UP and filled with peace and love with my presence
- This 'held the space' for nana to do what she needed to do in her own way
- I left my body with her, and held her hand as her excitement got her into the white tunnel to Heaven. (I could see her recognize family members over the shoulders of Blessed Mother and Nannu Filippo).
- I kept quiet, and present, as she met Jesus Christ, who was waiting for her.
- I let her know who I really am, when asked by Jesus and Mother Mary, to show her
- I comforted her that it was still me. (She looked puzzled and said, 'all those times I took care of you and fed you, I was taking care of THIS? And I never knew?'. I turned back to my present form and smiled with love in my heart and said, 'yes'. Then I dropped to my knees filled with love and gratitude for her loving service to me, and to the cause--the Liberation Of The Planet, the Resistance. I do not know what I am--I have the amnesia--but I do know I have a light body that glows. Jesus and Mary did not glow last night, I don't think I have ever seen them glow. They are Ascended Masters plus other higher things I don't understand.)
- We arranged meeting opportunities between us from here on out. (This morning she woke me up and said, 'Grazie'. She looks like she did last night, about forty to fifty years, in the fashion she wore back then. Her hair is long and has a wave, and there is one barrette on the left that is gold.)
- I let her go with Love and a beautiful pink/purple orchid lei to Heaven. She had never been to Hawaii, but she should have gone because she would have loved it. That was my spiritual 'gift' to her.
People do not 'find their way to Heaven'.
There is ALWAYS an angel present before, during, and after to guide them the entire way.
Sometimes there are many angels, and they work together for the benefit of the soul.
Souls that do not make it to the Light decline the help of the angels who are sent to guide them. Each has their reason, and the angel can only stay and wait for the soul rejecting them to change their mind.
Because of the energy difference in Vibration between here and Heaven, that is why Divine Assistance is needed. Once the angel is with the soul, the passage is easy, like riding on an elevator, and the transition is complete.
Aloha and Mahalos,
With much appreciation for your healing love for both of us, Nana and me, the last days,