Saturday, September 14, 2013

Have Patience, I Will Disclose Myself In Good Time

Ten years ago at this time I was frantic.

I had just moved in to my latest place, and was working on a Book Chapter. In academic medicine, you are expected to work for free to 'make a name for yourself' in this 'publish or perish' world. I have several citations, including some where I am lead author, but in smaller publications, not randomized, double-blind studies.

When my residency program director approached me on a book chapter, for a book named after the surgeon I adore for his amazing work, I leapt at the opportunity.  Every free minute, I wrote, on the outline that was given me. It wasn't even a whole chapter, it was a half, but the writing was slow and it took all of my weekends.

I was dating at the time, but I couldn't meet anyone single who would put up with the hours that I was working 'for my future'.

At the deadline, and it was close, I sent all of my packet in, my hardcopy, the file on the word processor, everything. I sent it insured certified whatever else you can purchase at the post office...

My program director hated it. It came back in red red red and I had to do it all again.

I did everything. The list of references alone took forever to do, in some certain format that was different from what I had first done.

The problem was he wanted to have the chapter sound like him, but I was not him, and female at that. So I never heard from him again after I sent the last edits.

I never got the book. As a book writer, that's what you get for your time and sacrifice on your chapter--a copy of your book.

I figured he destroyed everything and denied me credit.

Two nights ago I was thinking about this time of year, and wondering what ever happened?

Last night I did a google search on myself. Most of it is my name and where I work by all those 'Doctor Rater' sites.

But on page four, there is was--Contributor to that book, with my name on it! I searched and searched until I found a PDF copy online. There it was, my chapter! It looked different in print. I hardly recognized anything. I didn't recall sharing a chapter; he must have had a resident 'add on' to what I had written.

Every word sounded exactly like my Residency Director! But the basic 'gist' of the chapter, the illustrations--they were exactly what I had done, only BETTER! Nicer tables and nicer graphics.

It was still me!

My work hadn't been rejected!

I got the credit for it.

So in a major textbook, for a subject in surgery I adore, who was pioneered by someone who liked the Tweety Bird pin I wore on my medical student white coat...I am there. I am there to describe the anesthesia for this subject.

It feels so nice to know I was not forgotten, or worse.

Just this year, I wrote a chapter for another book. It has my real name in it. It was just published last month.

I bought my own copy!

One day soon I will share who I am with all of you. At the Event, I am 'on' as me, not just Reiki Doc.

As a 'test drive' I met one of my Twitter followers when I was in Victoria. This person was kind enough to agree to keep me 'anonymous'. We went out to eat. It was fascinating to have the chance to be myself, and just talk instead of write.

I wondered if my appearance would be what they expected. And how they would react. That's why I treated. I won't always when I meet fans, but this was the first and I wanted to celebrate it so I will always remember.

Things are looking brighter every day.

Aloha and Mahalos,

Reiki Doc