Saturday, August 17, 2013

How To Heal Someone With PTSD: Managing Your Reaction To The Victim's Experience

This is the dried flower of the stinging nettle plant. It is very soft and fluffy, something one would never expect from such a painful plant and prickly flower...

As a survivor, the worst part about healing from what happened to me that caused the PTSD was the reaction of those close to me who 'should have offered me support'.

Mother took it all as 'her fault' and went off on a depression that needed therapy for years. She believed me, which was good. There was too much supporting 'data' for her to ignore it. The evil mom who was involved in the 'cover up' had asked specifically about me and 'how I was doing' every time she saw my mother all the years I was growing up. She never asked about my other two sisters, and she knew all three of us. There was a sudden behavior change in me where I got shy about the time I said the attack had happened.

She was overwhelmed and turned to her own coping response instead of comforting me.

The one I had 'chosen with my heart' to help me heal? How did HE react? Well, let me put it this way--he didn't want to know his restaurant needed a place to change diapers or for new moms to nurse discreetly or pump. 'That's woman's concern!' he 'said' silently with a wave of his hand. I countered back, 'you are a good man! You should KNOW about these things! That is why I am telling you.'

Once the healing started coming out, and I sent him LONG emails daily, the : ) one line replies to my emails became silent. Finally there was a 'I never check my emails, there is so MUCH' email, and I stopped writing.

My heart knew he had read them. And my heart knew I had healed. He might have been 'weirded out' by the sharing like I did, but the pain of 'not sharing' was so bad I kind of 'dumped' on him. He was nice about it, but set his boundaries.

It is unpleasant to experience the victim's tale of their suffering, especially with molest.

It is a NORMAL first reaction to put that hand up and say, 'No More, I have HAD ENOUGH'.

If my own mom can react badly, and my one that helped me heal, that says a great deal, doesn't it?

And why would I even bring this up now? To complain about how difficult my life has been?

Oh for Heaven's sakes, do you not know me???? By now?

The victims of ritual abuse are going to start coming out as the Light shines away all that has been hidden in the shatows from the Light. They have suffered FAR FAR more than me and need your help!

The victims of ritual abuse, which is part of a global 'mithraic' system of belief that is practiced by many people whose smiling faces you see in the news every day, are going to have to heal.

Imagine thousands and thousands of people like Jaycee Lee Dugard being freed from their torture all at once...

Will you mentally, spiritually, and emotionally BE THERE for THEM?

Or will you say, 'I can't believe this!' and walk away?

My healer, bless his heart, read one of my blog posts on How To Heal Someone with PTSD. I think before he had no concept of what PTSD is, and why I was reaching out to him. He did what I said in the article to do--touched me on the arm between my shoulder and elbow. Twice in one time at his restaurant.

He came around, when he understood. Mom came around too. She helped me throw away the gifts that the 'cover up' mom had sent me after I had sent her a letter saying I remembered all that happened and I forgave her. The blankets and the tiny angel pin with the legs spread apart really freaked me out--thankfully MY mom put a cheerful stop to it. We made a big fuss together with whoops and hollers as she opened the apartment trash chute and I threw everything out.

All I ask, as a survivor, of you as a healer, is to be Present with your Heart. Listen with your Heart, and be Present when the story of the 'Outside of Normal Human Experience' suffering is brought to the Light with you.

You ARE the Light for someone who has experienced pain and suffering at the hands of Darkness.

Be that Light for them. And when it gets too much, say, 'I will be right back' and GO and find someone else who shall be that Light for you.

Doesn't every victim deserve a chance to heal and enjoy their Life?

Aloha and Mahalo,

Reiki Doc