Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Better Out Than In

Something happened last night between Ross and myself that I do not understand completely.

Yesterday was rough. The visit with the dietician with my son went badly. There were tears, total emotional shut down on his part, and we had to leave the visit, but not before the dietician said, 'he needs LOTS of counseling first!'.

There are health effects of his weight already. His BMI is thirty and he is only nine.

To make it up to him, I offered to take him to our local steak house--my boy eats meat, and lots of it--although I do not. We eliminate soda, potato and bread with the meal, and the owner, is so loving and cheerful to my boy that whenever he needs a father figure STAT, we go and see Mike.

As I was looking for a parking spot, I 'saw' Ross like this with a big crab, but one that was more like the next picture. I was like, 'I don't eat crab, they die, even though I love it.'

And Ross smiled and waved the little claw of the crab and let me know the one I am meant to eat is alive and well and happy. (He does this too when I feed the snake mice).

He said it is his birthday gift to me--it is soon--and just this once it was okay for me to eat crab.

He also encouraged me to buy a glass of the sparkling Italian wine, which I did.

For some reason, I did not enjoy the crab as I usually do, but it is expensive, it's almost forty dollars and a real treat. I haven't had it in three years like that. And as a steakhouse, the seafood isn't that tasty, but it was protein, and I enjoyed eating crab like I used to.

About three hours later, the burping started.  Sometimes when I eat vegan food with 'sea vegetable' in it I get sick. I also get sick after eating lobster. I get sick after taking a multiple vitamin. This looks like crab was quickly to join the list too.

I threw up. Everything.  It was loud. It was not pretty. I spread a towel on the floor by the toilet to catch anything that missed.

All that expensive food coming up. What a waste, I thought.

Ross had offered to pay for it, as his gift to me, while I ate.

I drank some ice water to clear my mouth from that taste.

Then I got sick from the other end.

I laid down, it was midnight, I still couldn't sleep.

The water came up.

I took some of this:

That came up too. I seriously thought about sleeping on the floor in the bathroom on a pile of towels.

I was concerned because I had a case at work first thing in the morning. I hadn't worked for some time, and needed the money. And I hoped to feel better and hear the alarm, which I might miss if I was on the bathroom floor resting.

I was so sore my entire throat and sides hurt, and I was exhausted.

I threw up again and again, barely making it to the toilet.

But the strangest thing happened:  I was calm and not panicked.

As I heaved and heaved over and over, there was no feeling of punishment from God. It was like, 'I don't know why I am going through this, but I accept and hope to end this experience soon.'

I felt Ross with me, waves of loving energy and calming and support, with tingles through my arms and legs especially when I lay down.

Inside, deep in my core, I felt like this:

And there was an excitement to Ross' energy, like I was making an important 'next step' in coming to be together with him in my energy. You see, on the final preparations for going to meet our Star Family, there are energies that are given, that make us very nauseous. I have a friend who gets this, frequently. She is the one who missed her 'takeoff' time, who I mentioned several posts ago.

So there was this perception of this all around me, with the center being my energy:

At two in the morning, with no end in sight, as I went to try one cup of iced ginger ale, I called the hospital. I asked my colleague who is covering OB if he would mind working for me in the morning. He said 'yes'. My boss hates being woken up. So I called the House Supervisor nurse, who knows me, and explained the situation. She said I needed to go to the ER for two i.v.'s and zofran. Otherwise I would get dizzy soon. I couldn't pee, I was so dehydrated, and I couldn't cry tears and I couldn't keep anything down.

But my son was asleep! I wasn't sure I had the energy to wake him, drive to the ER, and wait for treatment.

I prayed over the ginger ale, and although I was too sick to look up the nausea healing code, I asked my angels to write it on my abdomen for me.

The ginger ale worked.

I was guided to take  Gatorade after that, in small sips, Ross said. And he said, 'stay home tomorrow, take it easy, and assimilate the energies.'

At four in the morning, my son came into my room. He was having nightmares all night of Bigfoot. He watches the TV show on 'finding' him, and he said, 'Mom? I think I've watched way too many episodes...'    He climbed in bed with me. He also got me one more can of ginger ale.

The poor thing heard my distress, subconsciously, and his little heart turned my agony sounds into 'Bigfoot' nightmares.

I am better now.

I craved one waffle, with no syrup, and no butter, for breakfast.

We drove to a local breakfast place, and had that at nine.

I've been in bed ever since.

I think it's time for some chicken broth. It is medicinal. 

Sometimes our lessons are not meant for us to appreciate or understand.

Here is Ross:

This is a lesson in acceptance. My beloved understood medically what was happening with clarity and full responsibility to her health. I asked her to eat, not because I knew she would get sick--although there was a very high probability given the situation. I earned her trust, and in her trouble, what I want you to 'take away' from the experience, is she rested her trust both in her Life Lesson and in Me. I know how she felt me, how I tried to ease her comfort. I am touched both how she listened to my suggestions of pepto bismol, and her patience with me when it too did not work. She relaxed herself completely into my energy while she was 'worshipping the porcelain god' as you on earth refer to it.

With her illness, I was able to direct the last energies for her physical body to make its crystalline adjustment. Through her nausea, and her medical understanding, the changes that we had to make were masked to some extent. There was a cause and an explanation for her discomfort, it did not arise out of the blue.

This is why I am most pleased with my Beloved Carla and her developments. I look forward to being with her in 'the physical' as I am and she is to be, soon.

I encourage you to 'roll with the punches' and 'go with the flow' for the next few weeks when it comes to the energies. And if nausea suddenly arrives, without reason, do not fear, have no alarm, for it might just be us with the frequencies of transformation to your crystalline body.

In a few short weeks, almost everyone will experience it, for some, mild indigestion,and for others who are more sensitive, it will be like she felt.

In either case, adequate rest will allow the assimilation of the new frequencies into you energy bodies, and the discomfort shall be short-lived.

Namaste, to you from both of us,

Ross and Carla, who is sick at the moment.

(see how she works diligently in her darkest hours? She loves you that much, to send to you the healing from her sick bed. She is a hard worker, and I admire this very much about her dedication to the Light.)


  1. Dear Reiki Doc:

    Thank you for all your courageous postings.

    If you get this posting was because I wasn't sure if the first one went thru.

    Last night I was working with a client (I am a Marriage & Family Therapist) who reported feeling quite separated from her mother. As we did our work, it became clear that the client's anxiety was an out picturing of her mother's inner turmoil. The child will manifest what the mother is feeling in her deepest core.

    When you write about your son's weight issues, I recognize that weight is padding. Your lovely son is carrying/showing you the protection that you so need. As long as you carry unresolved PTSD, your lovely son will be showing you your need for protection. Resolve your trauma, and your son will no longer need to carry so much padding.

    When I work with clients, I use Family Constellation method. Created and/or uncovered by a German therapist named Bert Hellinger, FC works with the "knowing field".

    With great respect and appreciation for your journey and your sharing...Livinglitely

    Please do not post this as I wish to respect the confidentiality of last nite's client--her story shared only to add clarity to my explanation. If you wish to contact me directly:

    1. Dear Alison Stewart:

      Thank you.
      Monday June 30,2014, I had a healing Skype Session. The subject of this was in fact my PTSD. It just 'came up'. I have serious low-self esteem issues stemming from the trauma. In the attack when I was four, I was told I was 'bad' for 'what I had done'.

      I agree with your comment because it is timely.

      Yesterday was the first day in my life that I had the self-esteem and confidence at work in what I felt are 'normal' levels I have never experienced in the past.

      The healing worked.

      In it I got two things I needed very much: masculine encouragement and support from a non-therapist. It was from another survivor, who in fact is healing from his own trauma. He said 'it's okay to have a ritual and let it go.'

      I was like, I've done the writing down, letters to myself...

      But this time, when I was in the office of my son's counselor the next day, I was alone in the waiting room. You know, three chairs, a soft lamp, magazines, and those little light switches with the names of the providers?

      I called in my inner child. We both agreed that we didn't want to have the rape happen in the first place. We would have liked to have had a good life without it. We felt in our hearts 'we didn't sign up for this'.

      So we thanked the victim version of us, and we left her in the chair in the waiting room so she can get all the help that she needs.

      That way all of us can have a good life and not worry about the PTSD.

      Some of the feelings that came out in the Monday session were 'feeling dirty or damaged' and 'being told that I was high-functioning PTSD and this is as good as it gets'. Crying in front of a male, and being accepted, was the most important caring healing for me of all--for it was five boys together who caused the pain and suffering in the first place. And no male ever since has cared enough to listen from the heart, accept, and help me transmute the pain.

      Your suggestion and interpretation go back to the interactions with my son at the theme parks, where he cried repeatedly, had injuries to his legs--including needing a wheelchair, and refusal to go anywhere and have fun. He too has had a 'playing doctor' episode with a girl who initiated it, and he felt like he was a bad person and his life was 'ruined forever' because of his participation in what she asked him to do.

      History repeats itself until the lesson is learned. My mother had a similar experience. And my father? Well, I just don't want to discuss that part of him at all. Just know it is not only my mom's problem. And both my sisters appear to have been given their own learning situation--they have all the symptoms, but do not remember the perpetrator. One doesn't even remember anything before like, age ten!

      Thank you for your inside on 'The Big Picture'. I believe it was sent to reinforce the lesson and prevent any back tracking in my progress.

      Blessings, Love, and Appreciation for your service to the Light.