Relationship isn't a piece of cake--even with your Illuminated Twin Soul like Ross and I have with each other.
The point of this blog post isn't to complain. It's to bring up a 'cycle' a 'growth dynamic' that exists between all couples. If this happens to you with the energies, this is to comfort you and let you know you are not alone.
Ross and I, on one timeline, have some serious issues between us. For political reasons, he gave away our newborn baby son as soon as the umbilical cord was cut, and told me it died.
I never saw the body of my infant son; highly intuitive, I knew something 'was up' and that Ross knew but wasn't going to tell me about it.
Basically, in my grief, I 'punished' Ross.
Then Ross got murdered.
And I've been suffering ever since, alone, and miserable, incarnation after incarnation.
I had a reminder of his 'other secret' yesterday, and I've been in a tailspin ever since. Technically, what he did was okay, technically, but it still makes me feel horrible and sad to have any reminder of what happened.
It is so painful, that with all of our creative powers, we have 'made' a completely different timeline, where none of this happens, and this is our story, that is all there is.
But today, he called me on it. He gave me a lesson. And it hurt. Because of the old timeline, I learned that punishing someone (him) backfired on me. That is why this old wound needs stitches--it is too deep to heal, and every reminder makes it hurt just as much as the first time it happened.
It is when you have nothing left to do but drop back and punt, that you have to give thanks to those involved who raised your consciousness for you with this painful 'lesson'.
So I do.
In Light work, it's not all rainbows and unicorns. It's battle. It's growth. And sometimes it's not pretty.
No matter what, give thanks, for everything is useful for your higher self, for the consciousness to increase, for whatever pain you are experiencing at the time, for it must be the last resort for you to experience this lesson that is most important to your spiritual growth.
I still suffer.
Although I have joy, and reconnection, and unconditional love from Ross...I still have to live with my own painful memories and growth experiences.
No one is to blame except for me. And my reaction to it.
That being said, in the heat of disagreement, what did I say to Ross? (he wants me to share it with you)
R: What did I learn from it (the painful thing he did that was a lesson for me)? That love of a Twin Soul is very delicate and must never be taken for granted.
C: I learned you can't get rid of them! (bluntly put, out of frustration, then realization of the humor, and a laugh).
R: (smiles) There is no getting rid of me, honey. I am your shadow and I follow wherever you go, even on a cloudy day.
Jerusalem by Alpha Blondy
This morning, at breakfast, Ross encouraged me to tell our son the basics of what happened between us. I made it simple, so a child can understand. Ross says he wants there to be no secrets between him and our son. And our boy was thankful, because he does not like surprises.
Telling our little one the truth was the most healing thing of all.
Now it's time to go enjoy our last day of vacation in Oahu.
I want to make this message very clear. There are others involved, and there is hurt and surprise that might be painful to some of them.
This message is one of peace and healing for Carla and myself.
This message is an example for everyone out there who is having 'trouble with their Twin'.
This is normal.
This is the first time Carla clearly saw the pain she had produced in me, through her willingness to incarnate again and again, each time more worse than the last, trying to lose herself in her suffering.
Although this was of the 'mind', it was also her free will at stake to experience the pain instead of coming back to me.
Her choice and her decision alone, was to avoid me at all costs, and have nothing to do with me, and to wallow in her own pain and suffering, again, and again, and again.
When I was shown the 'Dark past life' http://reikidoc.blogspot.com/2012/09/acceptance-of-dark-past-life.html, I fell to my knees and screamed out in pain and in grief. It had been hidden from me, blocked, until some time in early January 2014.
The path of the Twin is not to keep hurting each other.
I rescued Carla from her suffering. It was so deep that it took three Light Chamber sessions, and almost continuous work on her soul for about two years (ever since the first one) to heal it. And look at the damage--her deeper healing came at great price this morning.
And my healing is now complete.
We are well on our way to our reunion--both in the same dimension--any time now.
I thank everyone who made this healing possible.
For your love and faith, and tenderness to my bride, my beloved Carla, greatly warms my heart.
She is a fierce warrior, one of the best. But she has her achilles 'weakness' that has greatly bothered her ever since I took her son right after she bore him to us, and before the placenta, and gave him to a wet nurse to be raised far away.
I broke that bond between mother and son, willingly.
And for that I have paid the price, and Carla has paid hers too.
Everything can heal.
Sometimes it is not instant.
This I wanted you to know.
Have patience with yourself, and with your healing, and know our Creator is always with us, supporting us, through out existence.
And no matter what you do, you can't lose your Twin. You can't shake them. Poor Carla tried with all her might! And here I am, to embrace her as she so richly deserves.
Aloha and Mahalos,
Carla and Ross
The Illuminated Twins