Saturday, July 19, 2014


You are beautiful, Ross said, just a few minutes ago.

He said this while I was in tears.

He encouraged me to put on my new pendant.

I confided to him how scared and afraid I had been to witness the emotions, of my pre-adolescent son, and how I didn't know what to do, and how I was in a world of pain...I was so very tired of being strong, and for having to be 'on' to be heading things off at the pass with that boy emotionally..

And the moment the necklace went on, in a flash, I understand the lesson of momi (moh-mee)- the Hawaiian word for pearl--that very beautiful lessons come out of confusion, fear, and pain.

Win A Pearl:
I should have known when the woman before us at the Dole Plantation counter three days ago was miffed at the Maui Divers sales woman.  I easily read the body language. But my son remembered opening an oyster two years ago, and I thought it might be nice to just buy one oyster for each. (He had just pulled a fifty percent off a pearl coupon from the basket and was very happy).

This lady was something else! Very single minded, very pushy, telling him so thick that 'your mother needs this jewelry' that even my nine-year old got upset. She is the ONLY person at any pearl facility who automatically drilled a hole in the pearl first, without asking. (as a matter of fact, ever since I got my first pearl at Marineland in Palos Verdes when I was nine, I have never, ever had one of my pearls mounted OR drilled.)

We settled on a very small turtle pendant made of gold to mount his beautiful, pink pearl he picked from his oyster. We opted out of the chain she encouraged us to buy. And I also refused a credit application that would have saved me fifty dollars (the interest rate was twenty-six percent!).

'Turtles are lucky!' the sales lady said, as she wrapped it. (they have it all figured out, pink pearls mean love, white ones mean happiness and dark ones mean wisdom).

I thought the expense was worth it for my son to run into one of these women like her--all about the sale, faking that it was all about you, and not taking 'no' for an answer--it was a valuable lesson that will teach him what traits are a huge red flag in a potential mate!

The Chain:
I wanted to look at a store at the Ala Moana mall tonight. The place had changed since I fell in love with it ten years ago. I couldn't recognize it. Just two years ago it had it's 'look'--a breezy, simple mall with some nice stores, but understated tropical theme. They are still adding on to it, and I had to use Navigation to find it when I was only three minutes away.

This jewelry store I was interested in advertised with a sign that said sixty percent off, and I got a fine gold chain for only forty dollars.

I had wanted some earrings, too, so we looked, and my son found a beautiful pair with very small diamonds, at a super reasonable price, that matched the necklace he had bought for me for my birthday. With Ross' symbol on it. I put them on and wore them home.

The Diamond:
Earlier today, I packed a lunch and we made a short trip to Honolulu to Diamond Head State Monument. It was ninety-two degrees. I brought cold water and also a spray fan device. It's strenuous, I won't kid you. Ten years ago I danced ballet with the Hawaii State Junior Company for class to keep in shape while I was at conference for work here and one week away from my studio. (I danced two hours about five times a week, and performed.) And back THEN, I could barely breathe up the ascend! But the view was remarkable.

As you may know, my son has some weight issues, and on top of that, some emotional concerns due to bullying.

I took all of my patience and kindness and encouragement to coax him up that hill. I knew it would build confidence. As it turned out, both his father and teacher never let him rest on strenuous activities--they just yelled at him for falling behind. So we took breaks, I squirted both of us when it got hot, and we took the stairs up 'to the military part'--stairs that go almost straight UP.

On the way down, excited, he encouraged the weary ones going up, that the view was 'so WORTH it!!!'.

He had also helped me get over my fear of heights, too.

It was really good.

Can't Say No:
Ross said, 'Buy him sunglasses' when we were at the Oakley store, and his heart was set on a pair that was one hundred sixty dollars.

I said no.

A nine year old does not need fancy sunglasses. They get lost. He never wears them--has several pairs of decent but much much cheaper ones.

I asked him if I have to pay one hundred fourteen dollars (a clearance Shaun White pair) for him to know I love him?

In my heart of hearts, I knew he wanted them because he is interested in being 'older'. I also knew that he wouldn't like the 'sale' ones once we got home. And more--I knew he would ask me for something else about thirty seconds after we bought them.

He said something, I lost my temper and he started crying and saying he wanted to die. I managed to get us up to the car, but he had the worst emotional meltdown I have seen since he threatened suicide about one month ago. All of the pain from the bullying, all of the anger, all of the rage, all of the hate,  all of the loneliness, came out as he writhed and screamed in the car...

I couldn't drive like that. It wasn't safe.

I couldn't calm him down, and neither could he.

I came that close to calling 911 to take him to a psychiatric ER.

The security guy on the bike came by. He said several people complained about how I was yelling at my son.

I explained politely the situation, how he is under the care of a professional, I thought he might need to go to the hospital, and how I can't drive safely with him like this.  He understood, and said, in true Hawaiian aloha--you can take all the time that you need.

After that, my boy calmed, and as I drove us away,  he shared more about the bullying, and how his teacher called people 'guilty' when they did something wrong, and the emotional toll this last year has been on him at school was such a heavy load for him to bear.

The Lifesaver:
Whoever suggested the Insulin Resistance Diet book, truly, has saved both of our lives. It is working. We have done this now for about two weeks.

My son ate protein for dinner, and for his carb, wanted ice cream. He asked the Haagen Dazs lady for the nutritional guide--she gave him a notebook binder with plastic sheets--and the chocolate ice cream was within his carb limits for the meal.

I see him getting more features in his face and his body going slimmer, and also not having the terrible hunger he used to get like before. It's helping me too, to break that cycle of low blood sugar.

It's set us free.

The Night:
I know from Ross, that our son--(he is the Spiritual Father, he asked me ten years ago at my room in the W Hotel on Diamond Head--I didn't know him at the time but he was 'some guy who seemed interested in my answer' when Blessed Mother asked if I would like to have a baby?  With the biological father, once I got back home from conference, there was one time we were together where his face completely transformed, the new face glowed, and looked very much like Owen Wilson with long hair--of all people! I was pregnant about four weeks after that.)--that our son is going to be okay.

As I lay next to our boy, at his request to help him sleep, I was torn and so tearful when Ross asked gently, 'did you have a hard day?'

I went to my room once the breathing was of sound sleep from the child, and I lost it. I told Ross I was scared.  I was confused. At the same time, I realized we had a lot of important 'stuff' come up from my son's sharing his feelings and my doing what the counselor said and validating his feelings...I also realized that this chakra is WAY out of whack and needs some attention

Ross also said that the trick with our son is to let him think he has the choices and the decisions, when in fact he does not. Like a friend of mine said, 'you make a list of the things the kids can do for vacation activities and you let them pick'.

The oyster has a lot of pain from an irritant inside it as it grows.
This is what becomes the lustrous pearl, which shines so beautifully in the light.
The ugly oyster has the best pearls.
I discovered this by accident, when the sales lady at Maui Divers at Dole, had let me pick the pearl oyster that comes 'free' with a purchase. She got four out from under the counter. Ross told me to pick the ugly one (I didn't know that's how it works) and to my surprise two beautiful pink matching pearls came out of the oyster! (she had wanted to sell us earrings)

While the oyster is smoothing away the irritant on the inside, that takes energy that would otherwise go to making a pretty, and symmetrical oyster. Therefore, 'the uglier the oyster, the more beautiful the pearl', and in my case, twin pearls.

I even heard a sales lady--a different one at a different stand at the store (there are three at the plantation)--tell a couple to 'pick the ugliest one'.

They did and got a beautiful dark one that was larger than usual, and the couple was delighted with their find!

So when life 'get you down', I want you to remember two things:

  • you ARE beautiful--or handsome--whichever term you prefer.  You ARE!
  • maybe life is throwing you a momi--a pearl--and soon you will understand the nature of the lesson.

No wonder why that pearl came to give me hope right now as I wear it around my neck...and to let me know when it comes to my beloved, handsome son...there is a momi lesson for me in being a single parent, with a helping hand from my Twin Flame, and husband from another life who has found me in this dimension because I am a medium and can 'sense' such things...

It is my hope that perhaps this 'lesson' may 'resonate' with you, and give you comfort in times of distress, too.

Ross also let me know that the energies are strong in supporting the powers of manifestation, and that for those who think 'negatively', those feelings are going to magnify the outcomes at this time. This applies for everyone! So keep your positive outlook UP as best you can...

Aloha and Mahalos,

Reiki Doc and Ross who loves both her and their little one very much.

P.S. I have been on vacation in Hawaii, but kept it out of the blogs, at Ross' request for some privacy. It is okay now to let you know. Namaste.