Today I was in the Doctor's Lounge catching up on some paper work. I had the chance to listen in when two surgeons each dictated the 'official operative report' for the procedures they had just finished.
What struck me was that there was no life or joy in their reporting of their work. They had done it a hundred times, had a spiel, and just were adding in pertinent findings for the medical record.
Dictation is a service where you call in to a special number and record a message that gets typed by a medical transcriber. There are buttons to replay what you dictate, and you can erase and start over if you mess up. It is daunting. When I was a resident in General Surgery, I had to dictate histories and physicals, discharge summaries, and any procedure I did.
I got stage fright.
After a while, its a very interesting thing that happens to a physician--it is almost like channeling or speaking in tongues--you just relax and 'let go' and all of a sudden blurble blurble blurp--you just GO and your mouth does most of your dictation for you without you having to think about it.
See this pale ring around the edge of the iris of the eye? This is arcus senilis (ark-uhs see-nil-us), a change in the eye seen with normal aging.
This morning I saw a blogger--I forget who--had said there was a new blue-green ring around their eye and was it a symptom of Ascension? I figured it was just the arcus senilis, and they like, noticed it or something for the first time.
Today, I looked in the mirror in the car right before I got out to pick up a burrito for my son.
I have it too.
I have hazel eyes, I am used to them changing color. But I have never seen my eyes to anything like this. It's a deep blue green, and very thin, like the outer edge on this pupil, not the next to outer gray ring of arcus senilis.
As I caught up on my paperwork, a Chinese anesthesiologist came and sat at the table. She had just opened her lunch she brought from home, and the recovery room called her. I told her I would watch it for her. She came back. I asked her what it was she had packed for her lunch? It was beans and quinoa. It was cold, and I noticed she ate very fast. She was hungry.
She explained, I never get to know when I will eat so I bring my food from home.
I smiled. She had once been my teacher, when I was a resident. She had just left her old hospital where she was the contract holder under not so great circumstances, and was doing per diem work for vacation coverage now where I am (It's a small world in anesthesia, you never want to burn a bridge.)
I laughed and said I had just had a Spirutein with milk, and a banana, for the same reason. I don't even have time to heat my food from home when I always bring it in!
After she laughed, she confided in me about her old work...when she had the new group take over, they took all of her billing and stole over twenty thousand dollars of her anesthesia compensation from her billing company.
I am in private practice, with fee for service. After I do your anesthesia, I send a billing slip and a copy of the face sheet to my Anesthesia Billing Service each Wednesday. They bill your insurance, and you, for the copayment or deductible.
Well there is always a lag of about three months, between anesthesia provided, and when compensation for anesthesia work.
This new group took three month's of her anesthesia billing for services rendered...and there was nothing she could do. She showed me with her hands in a karate chop movement--they just cut me off and everything after that moment with the billing company now belonged to them!
She also warned that similar 'losses' happen when groups change anesthesia billing companies, and a great deal of money 'is lost'--her old work changed companies every year.
The billing company also had taken over two thousand anesthesia minutes of her work, every month, under the table, and acted like she would never know. But she did. She said she routinely lost about one month's worth of income every year, due to these 'business practices' and yet she was doing the riskiest patients that nobody else ever wanted to do--the sickest ones--every day!
I confessed to her that at my work, too, someone had made up 'units' for services they did not provide, in order to take a bigger share of the 'pie' our group splits every month. I lost about the same amount as she did over two years.
The whistleblowers got fired. There is a big lawsuit. I did a deposition, which was painful. And now I have to pay the person a 'tax'--two percent of my income, even on stipend from the hospital or Medicare cases--in order to pay his 'administrative fees'. There is also a request for everyone to 'pitch in' several thousand dollars a year apiece 'for legal costs for running the group'.
Because this is considered 'business' there is no legal recourse for this type of 'kickback' as far as I know...or she knows... she says it is hard to get used to being without the income she had, even with the amount that was siphoned off...
Text from me to Baby Daddy:
(our boy we co-parent) is super excited about his own bedroom and says he likes (the new girlfriend) best of all you have ever had as friends. Congratulations to you both. He really hopes she will be possibly his step mom one day too. I'm so very glad you are happy and in a good place with your heart.
Text from Baby Daddy to me:
Thank you for your support, that's funny that he would say that because I've never talked to (him) about that. I guess it says a lot about her. She really is a sweet girl and good with him.
Text from me to Baby Daddy:
It's a blessing for all of us that she is.
Comment from Ross to me about Baby Daddy:
Just wait until he meets me! LOL
On the way home, and before the burrito place, I stopped off at the local Indian market to buy a seasoning packet for making Shepard's Pie, which my boy loves.
I was struck by the young Indian man at the counter's professionalism. He greeted me. He rang up my items asking if I found everything all right? He looked me in the eye. He bagged everything briskly and handed it to me with genuine pride in his work!
I thought to myself, This is what the goal of 3D incarnation must be! To be present and in your spiritual power at all moments (as this man was clearly in his). No wonder why someone at the start of this creation cycle thought it was a good idea!
Lately I have found, as my conscious awareness is raising, that often I think how horrible it is in 3D to have to buy everything, wash everything, prepare everything, fold everything, vacuum and dust...it totally takes away from time spent with loved ones and enjoying interests.
I was really glad I met this man today.
I watch a lot of TV, mother confided as I spoke to her on the way to the burrito shop. There is this ENERGY, and things are HAPPENING and you really need to protect yourself!
I had just shared about my breakthrough in forgiveness with my Baby Daddy, and my text I shared with you. Mom says that the Baby Daddy is not normal, and I should protect myself and our son from 'his thinking'.
Inwardly, I smiled and thought, I have love in my heart! That's the best protection there is!
Then she complained about other family members who 'went out to Arizona' and 'waited on their friends and old neighbors' hand and foot like hired hands, and stayed in a hotel too!
She couldn't understand WHY they would do that when the couple was very well off!
Why didn't they hire movers to help them pack? The husband and wife did nothing and the kids played video games while my sister's family worked and worked in the heat!
In the same breath, I caught that mom said, 'the man's company transferred him to Arizona but their kept their California home, then he got sick, and then he got laid off.'
My family had done a beautiful thing, of genuine lovingkindness for people in 'trouble'...and poor mother didn't understand that 'angle' of love made visible at all...
Mother is a beautiful person with a good heart who happens to be very deep in the Illusion of Duality--me versus you, us versus them, he who dies with the most toys 'wins'--and her habit of 'watching lots of news' is only reinforcing it.
White guy at the burrito store--LOL! He had the energy of this girl in the picture: super excited to have his first job. He shared how his family had always eaten there his whole life, and he was surprised when they were hiring. It was a good fit, and he was filled with hope. He was an excellent worker, too, and my order came out perfectly.
Just for today, I want you to have something to think about. Every vignette is designed to 'push at the edges of that comfort zone' just a little further than they were when you woke up.
It's good for you.
And it's good for all of us to know what's going on in medicine as it is actually practiced today. <3
Here's a chuckle for you--thanks for your attention with this blog post:
Aloha and Mahalos,