Recently, a Big Birthday happened to me. You know, the kind sometimes people get vulture black balloons and people say now you are O-L-D?
The worst part is knowing that I need a colonoscopy.
I have that part set--a friend of mine gave me his number, so I can tell him when to tell the office to overbook him to accommodate me. LOL
If you know me, I like the water. All I ever want to do is play--on a paddle board, boogie board, surfing, snorkeling, even at the pool--it's my favorite thing in the whole wide world!
Naturally, I wanted to forgo a party, and just hang out at the beach, and have fun on my birthday. I took the day off from work, and wanted to be with my son.
Fourth Of July
My birthday always starts with this holiday. Even though it's on the seventh.
We went to our local diner, and sat at the counter. Then we drove where they still sell fireworks, and bought some. The more colorful the name, the better--crazy eyes, zombie zapper, mad dog, purple rain...it was fun.
I made three videos for the Agarthan Reiki, and then we went to our street fair. It's near a place to swim and watch fireworks.
It was a really good day.
Twenty four hours with anesthesia for labor and delivery. Not much sleep. Typical work shift.
I got my hair done, then bought lunch for the family--cousins were 'hired' to watch my son while I worked. Back home and get changed out of scrubs in ten minutes, to look nice for the ice cream place.
My 'mother in law'--my son's paternal grandmother who we are close to although the father and I never married--had the most wonderful loving surprise.
The best was that the server had 'flair' and what caught my eye was a Miraculous Mary Medal.
He didn't know what it is!
Mother had worn one my whole gestation, and promised me to Her.
I was so happy.
We did Skype for a friend with a same birthday in Japan while they sang happy birthday. They make it fancy and did a 'Surfing USA' theme, and the servers were excited to sing for Skype.
My son had brought all his money in a fat bankroll of ones from his dog walking job. He asked for her to take him shopping for me. So I sat.
He came back SO excited! He gave me a pound of See's candies in a golden box. And an intense dark chocolate bar.
The other, I had to wait.
You see, Ross was helping him shop too. Ross told him how much cash to bring. My son hears him!
So then were the gondolas--our family went to some canals by the beach and we rode together. WATER! At last! There was a harbor seal, my boy saw it. It was a sign. They 'never come in that close' the gondolier said. My son saw it. I was happy.
Mid-ride, my boy gave me my box, the 'kind you can keep forever and it costs seven dollars extra'. Inside was a beautiful silver necklace.
It was the symbol Ross had given me on June 20, just between us, our 'Lover's Embrace' Reiki symbol we are only to use on each other, to send our love.
With an opal, which matches the earrings Ross had given me before (he shows me where it is, and then this money comes to pay me back after I buy it--it was a lawyer who paid me for expert opinion the last time)
I felt SO loved!
(Later, my family celebrated at dinner --It was very moody for my boy. It was a bar, old-school italian, and my son was very sensitive to the energy. He wouldn't eat. Not a thing. And I only had cucumber-tomato salad. My son 'pitched a fit' like only a kid can on your birthday. So I walked with him outside. I asked what was up, and I prayed. We prayed together and I asked Ross to help. I wanted him happy, and I wanted to enjoy my family on my birthday.We needed a father right now! So I put it in Ross' hands. When we came back, my niece had switched chairs, and my brother in law sat across from my son. --Problem solved. Ross acts quick! And I got a burrito from Chipotle for my boy at nine thirty, so he wouldn't starve, after we were done. My niece gave me a gorgeous ruby necklace. As we are psychic in the family, she bought it at the same store in the same box as my son! So this is another reason why he felt sad, that his sacrifice was 'upstaged' by her more expensive gift. I explained to him, You brought me Ross!!! It is priceless! Later I showed him the symbol, in the journal, with the date, and he understood.)
I wanted the beach.
I thought Montage for breakfast and then beach below.
My boy thought Montage, but balked at the beach--it's no good there mom!
I wanted breakfast at home and I made it.
We ate outside because I thought it would be peaceful.
The gardeners came with the weed whackers right then.
I wanted to relax.
My boy wanted to play Stratego.
We did. Four games.
I wanted the Beach.
He wanted to watch South Park.
I wanted the Beach.
He said no.
He realized it was two p.m. and we hadn't done anything and he'd ruined my birthday.
The tears began as he felt sad for his actions.
I held his head in my lap,stroked his hair and realized he needs me now more than ever.
I stroked him. Ross came in, and talked to him through me too.
We explained unconditional love, and what it means.
There is nothing you can do that would change it
At your worst, we love you.
I shared how being with him was more important than anything.
My son kept going on and on about how he 'didn't deserve' lunch, or the nice dinner out we had planned.
I felt torn.
I had hopes for my day, and they were shot, and he was not emotionally stable for anything.
Ashtar joined us.
Ross and Ashtar saw I was in trouble.
'Let it go' they advised. It was my only option to get out of this situation.
So I did. I gave up all my plans for 'my birthday', and relaxed.
I told him to get ready and we were going to lunch.
I wanted Veggie Grill.
I compromised with Subway.
He wanted Rubios.
I pointed the car home.
I explained a sandwich and salad are fine for us, because I don't want a scene.
At the last second, I turned to In and Out.
Our meal cost six dollars--two burgers, one fry, two waters.
(my sister, also vegetarian, had very low protein. Her doctor ordered her to eat meat. So today, I did too, on my burger, but I didn't like it.)
We bought an ice cream cake from Baskin Robbins. And cut a piece for Ross at the head of the table.
(I know it's the carbs--I know--I know--the sugar addiction is difficult and with a birthday, it's like...the dietician said that ice cream is better than cake because there is milk in it)
Then I confessed online to a friend about the moods in my son. How bizarre. How it was like at Disney (It wasn't pretty on my vacation--he was the 'barometer' for some Dark 'things' )
She had me look.
There was a basilisk under my house, and the energy was affecting the boy, same as at Disney.
She went in.
She cleared it.
And the energy changed in an instant.
We went with a neighbor and her dog to dinner on the coast.
It was my Golden Birthday with a Golden Retriever.
Long story short--the waves were six to eight feet below the restaurant.
And it was super choppy in the whitewash.
A lifeguard had died at Newport yesterday, trying to save a swimmer in trouble.
The ocean was that treacherous.
My boy had saved my life, and his, because he on some level knew the ocean was unsafe.
He wouldn't let me go.
I was annoyed at the time, but now I understand.
Sometimes, with the Tsunami of Love, the emotions are affected rapidly. http://johnsmallman2.wordpress.com/2014/07/07/further-thoughts/
Trust there is a pattern of Loving Guidance from behind the Maelstrom, and let go.
I appreciate all the kind wishes that were sent for my 'special day'. I had almost one hundred comments on my social media. It touched my heart, and I am so thankful for your love that you so generously shared today with me.
Aloha and Mahalos,
P.S. Ross has a song for me...<3
He wants me to post it
I Miss You by Blink 182
I asked him why he wants this video--it's almost disturbing.
He says, it's the heart.
The heart is not always 'linear' and is more like dreams when it communicates.
And even though the day or the video was not as one would expect, the LOVE between us, is unshakeable.
(he kissed me)
Your immortal Twin.
I love you for all eternity.